[letters_to_bob]
Here ya go folks, in lieu of the advertised rants page here are some of the more *unusual* letters i've gotten. i haven't replied to any of these because, to be honest, i wouldn't know where to start...
A Chara,
Recently I found myself completing the forms to tax my car. Along with the form,
I needed to include the regestration documents, the insurance cert and a cheque.
The powers that be have courteously supplied a postage paid envelope. However,
Both the regestration and the application form are too big to fit in the
envelope. Are they taking the piss??
Mad as a rabid cat,
Henry Kissinger
Dear Sir,
Last Sunday, I was out driving in my car and came across an old woman driving at
15mph and had to follow her for overa mile. Do these people know how to use a
gearstick?
Stupid like a fox,
Chewie Louis
Dear Sir,
Please make the voices in my head go away.
Thinking about your sister covered in gravy,
Spodo Commodo.
Dear Sir,
Why do pubs still serve Harp? Don't they know that only Americans drink it?
Horny as a dog in heat at a doggie stripclub
with a poodle lapdancing for him,
Cher's G-String
Dear Sir,
I'm not the most observant person in the world - I don't care what anyone says.
However, recently I've noticed that women have two lumps of varying sizes up
their shirts.
Whats the story with that then?
Constipated beyond all recognition,
Hank Tree
(The Bastard Son of Bertie Ahern)
Madam,
Why do people have problems with me following them around everwhere, ringing
them at 3:00 in the morning, digitally adding myself to the photos in their
photo album and breaking into their houses while they are at work so I can sniff
the toilet seat.
Its not as if I'm stalking them or anything.
Watch your back,
Dave Fanning
Dear Bobby,
Cram it!
Bogus Trumper
Dear Bob,
Whats with all these whippersnappers getting so worked up about the Internet? In
my day we had old baked bean tins and a bit of string and you didn't hear us
complaining.
Horace Treefungus
Dear Bob,
I was with the AA for a while, but the insurance was very expensive. I had to
crash the car just to get my money back. The only thing was that sombody said
they saw me swerve towards the wall. There was even talk of me going to jail for
a while.
Whats your favourite humming sound?
Peter O'Hanrahanrahanrahan
