Just Friends: Chapter 21
Just Friends: Chapter 21
***Mandy's Point of View***
I knew that this was the time to tell them. I had tried so many times before. It was just so hard to talk about. Once you’ve kept something a secret for so long it’s hard to finally talk about it.
“It was Christmas eve, I was 13. We were all at Kevin’s house and we were spending the night. I had gone upstairs to get ready to go to bed. I was changing, and had just taken my shirt off, when uncle Mike came in. Instead of closing the door and apologizing, he came in...”, I started, by this point I was crying harder than I ever had before.
Brian and Kevin both had looks of shock on their face. Uncle Mike had seemed like the coolest uncle ever, I unfortunately knew that he wasn’t. Leighanne had begun to cry again, and AJ and Howie each placed an arm around her. While Nick pulled me so close to him.
“He came up to me and told me how beautiful I was. He began kissing me and feeling me. He stopped to take off his shirt and pants and picked me up and put me on the bed. He undressed me and made me perform oral sex on him. I was so terrified I just went with it. Even if I had tried to scream it wouldn’t have come out. Then he raped me. He pulled on his pants and shirt, and told me that it was no use telling anyone because no one would believe me. I of course believed him and kept quiet about it.”, I said, looking up, I hadn’t even gotten to the worst part, “And the same thing happened every time there was a family holiday...”, I said quietly, but still everyone heard me.
“Me and Brian should have picked up on this. I...can’t believe that happened to you. You know we have to tell the family this.”, Kevin said, with silent tears running down his face.
“I know, but I don’t think that I can bring myself to say it again.”, I said, looking up at him.
“When was the last time this happened to you?”, Brian asked.
I knew that I was going to have to answer this question. The thing was that it hasn’t stopped. The last time it had happened was a party for my aunt’s birthday. I just stayed silent, as my tears began to fall harder.
“I think we should leave Kevin, Brian, Mandy, and Nick alone now.”, Howie said standing up.
“Yeah...”, Leighanne said getting up, followed by AJ.
“Mandy, you have to tell us the last time that he did this to you.”, Nick said seriously.
“Aunt Rose’s birthday party.”, I said looking down at the floor.
“That was like four months ago!”, Kevin said shocked.
“Mandy, why didn’t you tell anyone until now?”, Brian asked.
“I dunno, I was too scared.”, I said, still looking at the floor.
Nick sighed, and Brian and Kevin seemed to be thinking.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you guys. Now wasn’t the right time.”, I said standing up to leave the room, but Nick pulled me back down.
“No Mandy, that is not true.”, he said looking me straight in the eyes, “You did the right thing by telling us. You could have told us in the middle of a concert, and it would have been the right time to tell us. None of this is your fault, and we’re going to make sure that it never happens again, and that your Uncle Mike pays for what he did to you.”, Nick said, occasionaly tilting my head up so I was looking at him.
“Thank you guys. It really helps to know that you’re here for me. I love you all so much.”, I said hugging Nick first, then Brian, then Kevin.
“We love you too Mandy, and want to do what’s best for you, and that’s to tell your mom and dad about what happened. You can wait until tomorrow, but you have to tell them.”, Kevin said, placing a reassuring arm around my shoulder.
“We’ll help you, but this is something you have to do on your own.”, Brian said, holding my hand.
“It took a lot of courage to talk about it the first time, so it will probably be even harder to say it the second time, but we’ll be there to help you along.”, Nick said.
“Do I actually have to tell them on the phone? Can’t I write them a letter, it would really be a lot easier for me that way...”, I said.
Brian and Kevin looked at each other. They didn’t pass any looks between each other, but Brian turned back to face me and began to talk.
“We want you to do whatever you need to do to tell them, and if writing a letter is easiest for you, then go ahead and do that.”, Brian said, while Kevin and Nick nodded their heads.
There was a few minutes of silence, then I decided to speak up.
“I’m gonna go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning.”, I said getting up, I quickly hugged Nick, Kevin, and Brian, and retreated to my bunk.
I of course didn’t fall asleep, I stayed up thinking of what to write in my letter. I had lied to them so many times, I felt so guilty. Shortly, I heard Nick saying goodnight, so I turned to my side and pretended to be asleep.
***Nick’s Point of View***
I climbed into the bunk as soon as Mandy turned over to her side, a sad attempt at making me believe that she was actually asleep. She had had a rough night so I figured I would just let her stay like that. To be perfectly honest I was a little mad because she had never told me. I understand that it’s a really bad thing, and very hard to talk about, but I thought that we could tell each other everything. But then I thought about it, and I felt guilty because I should have picked up on it. She had left little hints here and there. I remember at one party she asked her mom if Uncle Mike was coming, and her mom said no, she quickly ran upstairs and put on a skirt and a tight shirt, as she was coming outside her Uncle Mike had just arrived, he ended up not having to work. No one had seen her come outside yet, with the exception of me, so she ran upstairs and put on a pair of baggy jeans and put on a sweatshirt. I should have noticed the look of sheer terror on her face when she came downstairs. And this had been happening since she was thirteen. She did tell me that was her worst Christmas ever, but instead of asking why I was too busy going on about how happy I was to be home instead of in Europe promoting ourselves. My guilt was building up so much, I decided to go to the kitchen and try to calm myself.
I climbed down the bunk and saw a light on in the kitchen, happy to have some company I continued to the kitchen. There was Kevin, holding his head in his hands. I sat down, but there was still no response, so I sat silent as well. A few minutes later Brian came in. We all looked up and laughed at ourselves.
“Guess I have to add two more to the reservations I made for my guilt trip!”, Brian said, trying to lighten up the situation.
Kevin and me let out a few nervous laughs, but the tension soon returned.
“I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out.”, all three of us said at the same time.
Again we let out a few nervous laughs, but again, the tension returned. It was almost worse than last time. After about an hour of pure silence, Mandy came in.
“I thought I was gonna have some privacy to write this letter.”, she said holding up a piece of paper and pen.
“Do you want some?”, I said, realizing after everyone’s giggles what I had said, “I meant privacy, for once im not thinking sexual..”, I said, saying the last part a little quieter.
“Yeah actually, I would like some privacy if you guys don’t mind.”, she said.
Brian, Kevin, and I quickly obeyed, returning to our bunks. I layed down on the bed, with my arms under my head, and started crying. Not just tears now and then, but crying like a baby. It hurt me so much to know that someone had done something so horrible to Mandy. She hadn’t done anything to deserve something like this. I wished that there was something I could do to help her through this, but there wasn’t. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a light go off, and I knew Mandy was coming to bed. Within thirty seconds, Mandy was climbing up the ladder to my bunk, tears were streaming down her face, and they were still coming down mine.
“I’m sorry Nicky for not telling you. I realize now I should have, but back then I didn’t know that would be the right thing to do.”, she said, laying down next to me.
I didn’t say anything, because I knew she knew what I was thinking. Which was that I understood, as much as I could, and that from now on she should know that I am always here for her, for everything.
“I just don’t understand how someone could do something like that to you, to anyone for that matter, it’s just so sick. Oh my god...and it happened with Jake too didn’t it? It obviously wasn’t as severe, but he still violated you.”, I said, realizing how upsetting her incident with Jake must have been for her.
Mandy remained silent, and was staring off in to space.
“You aren’t pregnant are you? You haven’t ever been pregnant either, right...?”, I asked with sheer terror.
Mandy just looked at me with tears running down her face and then turned away.
“I have been.”, she whispered softly.
“Wh..wh...what?”, I said stuttering.
“Two years ago, when I was sixteen he got me pregnant. And I didn’t know what to do. I found out about a week after it happened, so there was no way for anyone else to know. I told him though because I needed someone older to know, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to get it done. He had to pay the doctor a lot of money since he wasn’t my father or legal guardian, and I had an abortion.”
I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. How could Mandy have gone through all this and never cracked once. I hardly ever saw her cry, and I was with her all the time. It just didn’t make sense to me. And an abortion was so serious, and all the pressure and stress she was under...it must have been impossible for her to ever be happy.
“How could you have dealt with all this shit, and not ever cracked?”, I asked.
“Nick...I’ve lived behind a smile since I was thirteen. I just got used to it after a while. I seemed happy on the outside, but inside it was a living hell. I tried so many times to tell you, but I could never bring myself to say it."
“Mandy, from now on I want you to know that I am always here for you. I will never judge you, and I will do whatever I can to make things better. I love you with all my heart, and the last thing I world I want to see is you unhappy. Please promise me that from now on whenever you have a problem you will come to me?”
“I promise Nick. It means a lot to me to know how much you care about me. I care about you just as much Nick, and I never want to see you unhappy either. You mean the world to me. You have no idea how happy I am that we’re together. It makes everything in the world seem better.”
With that, we held each other and fell asleep. Both of us happy that our feelings for each other are mutual.