2 months had gone by since we moved to Florida. My relationship with Nick sorta picked up. I guess you could say that we started dating.
"are you coming yet?!?," Nick screamed to me from my front door. "yes!," I said laughing as I ran down the stairs. We were on our way to the movies, well…..their kinda movies. It was so hard for them to go to the movie theatre, so they all rented some and would watch them at Kevin's house. "geez!," I said and I got in his car. "hun, you just don't understand, they start the movie if your there or not!," he said laughing. I just loved the way he called me 'hun'. It was so cute! When we got to Kevin's, we all went in and sat down in his living room. "ok, Brian and I picked out 'Saving Private Ryan', 'Step Mom', and 'Ring Master'," Kevin said to us all. He had so much junk food and drinks on his coffee table that it made me sick. "oh lets watch Ring Master!," nick screamed like a little 2 year old. I just laughed at him. "what?," he asked me smiling. "oh nothing, nothing at all," I said laughing. "come on, tell me…..or you'll pay," he said, and he couldn't keep a straight face. "oh yeah? How!?," I asked. "well, if you don't tell me, I uh….i won't, oh I don't know!," he said and he playfully pushed me away. "ha! See, your not all that tough!," I said to him. A little ways into the movie, I felt like striking a conversation with nick. "when do you guys leave again?," I asked him. "2 weeks," he said and he looked at me, "why?" "just wondering," I said and I looked down at the floor. "come here," he said and he pulled me up and we went into the kitchen alone. I stood up against the counter and he came over to me and hugged me. "I know that you don't want me to go, but I have to, I want to. I mean, a part of me wants to stay, to be here with you, but music is my life, the backstreet boys are my life," he said as he looked into my eyes. "nick, I am not asking you to not go. Not at all. I just want to be with you. I finally found the love in my life again and it feels so good," I said. "I know. But you can come with me, I'll send you plane tickets and everything, it will all be good, hey ~ 'it'z all good!," he said laughing. And that made me laugh. "ok," I said smiling. We went back in the living room and sat back down to finish watching the movie. The whole time all I could think about was how he was leaving me, when I grew so attached to him. I really couldn't picture the days of not seeing him walking the dogs at 8 in the morning across the street like he always does, and when he's done, he would throw rocks at my window to make sure I was awake, and if I wasn't, he was determined to wake me up. At 12:30, nick and I left and he brought me home. "see ya tomorrow?," he asked. "at 8, sharp, and with 3 rocks, your 3 dogs, and my window," I said and I smiled. "that's the smile I missed the whole night," he said. "I'm sorry. I just kept thinking about how you were leaving, and that meant no more rocks against my window every morning at 8am," I said. "I know. I really want you to come with me. I'm worried about you," he said. And that caught me by surprise. "why?," I asked him. "I'm not sure. lately, you seem very distracted. Very weak and limb, are you alright?," he asked me totally serious. "yeah, I mean, I got the flu last week, and I am just overcoming it," I said. I didn't read much into it, but he certainly did. "can we go inside and talk?," he asked me. "ok," I said and we went in and went up to my bedroom to talk. "nick, whats on your mind?," I asked him as I sat down on my bed. "before Katelyn died, how was she?," he asked me. And that totally caught me by surprise. "what? why do you wanna know?," I asked him. "please, just tell me," he said. "she got sick. But that was in the hospital, she caught neumonia," I said. "Jayme, I think you should go get checked," he said. "nick! How can you even think that I have cancer?!, no! I don't have it! I don't want to think about it," I said. Then he got up and sat down next to me and hugged me, and that made me cry. "Jayme, I'm not saying that I think you have it, but I know that you haven't been acting the same lately, and it bothers me, please, just agree to go to the doctors for me," he said. And at that time, I knew that he really cared for me. "ok, I'll go. But I will go by myself," I said. "why can't I go with you?," he asked me. "just cause, I wanna do this by myself," I said. "ok, I will see you tomorrow morning, good night," he said and he kissed me on the forehead and left. I laid in bed thinking about what he said, about me might having cancer. I didn't want to go through what Katelyn did. I didn't want to have it at all. I don't want to die, not like this, not now.That night, we all went to The Olive Garden. Nick, Brian, Howie, AJ, Kevin, me, my mom and dad, and my grandfather.
"Jayme, you look like something is bothering you dear," my mom said to me. "whats wrong jayme?," nick asked me. We were all just eating our first course. "uh…I wanted to wait to tell you all after we were eating, but I guess you should now," I said and I looked over at my grandpa. "go ahead jayme dear, they need to know," he said. "know what dad? Jayme, what are you hiding?," my dad asked him and me. "Now James, calm down. Let her talk," my grandfather said to my dad in a very stern voice. Nick moved his chair closer to me and put his arm around me. "whats wrong?," he asked me. "mom, dad. I lied to you earlier when I said that I was going with nick. I really went to the doctors office. See, nick noticed that I hadn't been acting like myself lately, and he told me that I needed to see a doctor. Well, when I went, the doctor sent me to the university hospital, and they ran tests, x-rays, took blood, and after all of it, they told me that they found some cancerous cells in my kidney," I said and I began crying. "oh!," my mom screamed and she got up crying and went to the ladies room. All my dad did was fall back in his chair. And all of the guys just sat there like they wanted to say something, but couldn't, because they were to surprised about it. I just looked at nick through all of my tears. "I don't wanna die," I said to him. That must have gotten to him because he stood up crying and left the restaurant and went outside. "I'm so sorry for telling everybody this way. But I figured this was the best way," I said. "Jayme, don't be sorry, sshh. It will be alright," Brian said and he hugged me. After hugging brian for a while, I got up and went outside to nick. "you can't leave me, you just can't," he said to me crying as I sat down next to him. " "I don't want to leave you! I don't plan on it either, I will fight this in every way that I can," I said to him. "I won't go in 2 weeks, I won't," he said. "yes you will, I will not let you stay back here, looking after me and let you ruin your career, nick, your going," I said. Ruining his career wasn't the only reason I wanted him to go, I knew that once I started treatments, that my hair would start falling out, and I would look horrible. "but I'll miss you so much," he said to me. And it was so weird how that in just 2 and a half months, we had grown so close. "I'll miss you to, but just because I have cancer doesn't mean that it would be any different as if I didn't and you were still going. Look, I don't want to talk like I am going to die in the next month. I will fight this," I said. When we went back inside, I saw my mom coming out of the bathroom, so I went over to her to talk to her. "mom, I'm so sorry," I said to her crying. "Jayme, don't be sorry. We have to fight this, I can't lose another daughter, your all I have left," she said trying to choke back tears. "you won't, I promise," I said to her and we went back to the table and sat down. The entire time we ate, there was hardly any conversation. "so Jayme, are you going to college?," kevin asked me. I could tell that the silence was getting to him. "I am not sure, my dream was to go to Germany before I went to college, because I am really interested in the culture, or mainly the site seeing. But my dream to go to college and to Germany, was just put on hold," I said. Kinda disappointed because I knew that the money for the treatments would be taken out of my college fund, just like it was Katelyn's. "why?," nick asked me. "nick, the therapy, and treatments and all are going to cost so much. That It will have to be taken out of my college fund," I said. "don't worry about it," was all nick said, which I found strange.I started treatments 3 weeks ago, and nick and the guys left a week ago. Everyday is the same old same old. I get up at 7am and at 9am I'm at the hospital getting my treatments.
"Dr. Pierce, my boyfriend is in Europe right now, and I would love to go see him. Isn't there any possible way that I could do this over there?," I asked one of my doctors. "well….as the other doctors and I have been watching your progress, we believe that these daily treatments aren't necessary anymore. We would like to see you every 2 weeks, and we will have the treatments for 3 hours, instead of 1. So you are able to do whatever you wish in between the 2 weeks. We have controlled it enough… we think that you should be safe. So…we will see you in 2 weeks!, have lots of fun. Take care," he said and then he left the room and I took the stupid tissue paper dress thing that they made me wear off and got dressed. I immediately went to my Father's office at the hospital. "dad! Guess what!!??," I screamed to him as I ran in there. He jumped up startled. "Jayme Lyn, calm down….what?," he asked me. "my treatments have been changed to every 2 weeks, for 3 hours a day. I can go see nick now!," I said and I gave him a big hug. "that's great hunny!," he said and he hugged me back. "but I want to surprise nick, and I don't exactly know where he is tomorrow night," I said. "call Jive in Orlando. They'll tell ya. But you better be going. I don't wanna get into trouble, ok?," he said. "yep! See you at home," I said. "tell mom that I have to work double shift tonight, I'll be home tomorrow morning at 10am, ok?, take care of mom for me tonight," he said and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then I left. When I got home, my mom was already there cleaning the house. "ma, what are you doing home so early?," I asked her as I walked into the kitchen. "we have a dinner party here tonight for 15 of my co-workers. It's a work thingy. So they let me come home early to prepare it. Where have you been all day?," she asked me. "well… first I was at the hospital, getting treatments, and you'll never guess what they told me, and then I went and visited dad," I said. "what did they tell you dear?," she asked me as she cut peppers up. "they told me that I didn't need to go everyday for treatments any more. Now I have to go every 2 weeks. Now I can go see nick!," I said jumping up and down. "are you serious. That's such a relief!," my mom said and she hugged me. "I know. I am going to call Their management and see where they are tomorrow night and catch a flight there," I said. "you are? What did your father say about that Jayme Lyn?," she asked me in a stern voice. "he's the one that said too! And he also said that he was working a double shift, covering someone. He won't be home till 10am tomorrow morning," I said and then I got the phone book out and looked the management company up. Then I called them. They told me they were in Frankfurt Germany. So I called the airport up and made a flight reservation for the flight to Frankfurt that was leaving tomorrow morning at 9am. Not tomorrow night like I thought. Oh well. At 7pm, all of my mom's co-workers came over for dinner. She had the entire kitchen full of food. It was horrible. I just got a small plate of food and went up to my room to eat. I sat there watching Varsity Blues alone. Damn! Is Paul Walker hot or what? And boy is "Tweeder's" ass a nice one! All of my friends think that James VanDer Beek is hot…but I just don't think so. After the movie, I started packing. I packed shorts, pants, t-shirts, skirts, sweatshirts, lets put it this way…practically everything I owned! Even though I was only going for 2 weeks. 13 days to be exact. Oh well. Then I looked in the mirror at myself. I hated how my hair had began falling out. Nick hasn't seen me since like, a week after I started them, and it doesn't start falling out that fast. Its not like I am completely bald, its just that my long brownish, blondish hair Is now more like, shoulder length, which I wasn't to happy about. I finally went to bed at 11pm and I woke up the next morning at 7:30am. I quickly got in the shower and got dressed and my mom drove me to the airport at 8:30am. We had arranged it that so nick's manager knew that I was coming, but he didn't tell rest of the boys. His manager was going to send a limo for me and it would be waiting for me at the airport. When I got there some time later…I got my 3 bags and walked to the limo that had this guy holding a sign that said: "PERRY" on it. "hi! I'm Jayme Perry," I said. And then he opened the door and let me in and he took me to the hotel the guys were staying at. One of the bodyguards of the boys came down and got me and took me to nick's room. "John, is nick in there?," I asked him. "yes, all of them are. They are playing nintendo, or watching a movie," he said smiling. "they are? What kids. I'm nervous! I don't think I can go in there!," I said laughing. "why not? He's just your boyfriend," he said grinning at me. "but he hasn't seen me in 3 weeks, my hair is not the same, I lost a lot of weight, I look horrible," I said. "jayme….just go, its ok!," he said. Then he knocked on the door for me. "who is it?," Nick screamed to us. "someone is here to see you nick!," John said to him. "who could it be?," nick said and he got up and opened the door. "JAYME! Oh my god! You look so…so differe-, good!," he said and he hugged me. "admit it nick, I look different, I know. My hair is so short, I'm so different," I said. "hey, it's ok. Don't sweat it, you still look really really pretty," he said looking at me up and down. I was wearing a baby blue see through shirt with a small white one under it and a pair of white baggy pants. "can I come in?," I asked him laughing a little. "oh, of course, come in," he said and he let me in. "hey Jayme!," Brian said to me and he got up and hugged me. And then I saw Mandy sitting next to kevin on the bed. "hi brian, hey guys," I said. "jayme, we were just going out for pizza, wanna join us?," nick asked me. "no…um actually, I'm just going to go to my room and relax, jet lag ya know?," I said and I quickly turned around and left and went 3 floors down to my room. "nick, I think she's pissed," brian said to nick. "why? What did I do?," nick asked him. "come here," he said and he pulled nick out of the room and into the hallway. "Mandy is here, and Jayme hasn't seen you in 3 weeks. Don't you think she is going to kinda wonder whats going on here?," brian said to nick. "she should be able to trust me, I would never do anything with Mandy," nick said. "nick, she doesn't know that, she feels so new to us all still, give her a break man," Brian said to nick and walked back into the room. For 10 minutes, all I did was unpack. The whole time I was hoping that nick would come in and try to at least talk to me. I was extremely tired from the flight, so I laid down and fell asleep. "nick, you seem like your bugging about something," Aj said to nick as they sat and ate at the pizza parlor down the road from the hotel. "I'm ok," nick replied. "oh, don't tell me that Jayme thinks that I came here to see you! Ha! That's a joke!," Mandy said laughing. "that's to bad Mandy, cause she does! And she thinks that I am back with you too! Do me a favor and stay far away from me please? I've had enough, I'm out of here!," nick said and he got up and knocked his soda over and left it spilling everywhere and left the pizza parlor and went back to the hotel. "what is his problem?," Kevin asked everyone as he had his hand on Mandy's leg under the table. "nothing. Just leave him be," Brian said defending him. "what the hell did I do?!?!," Mandy asked very snotty. "look Mandy!, I said just let him go," brian said and he got up and left and went back to the hotel also. "nick! Hold up!," Brian said to him as he ran through the halls of the hotel. Then nick stopped and turned around. "you ok?," brian asked him all out of breath. "I really need to cool down right now. I'm going to go to the gym and work out," nick said to him. "I'll join ya," brian said and then they both started walking to the gym which was on the same floor as the room I was staying in. "what room is Jayme staying in?," Brian asked nick as they were in the elevator. "I have no idea, she never told me," nick said, "we should go ask the front desk." "ok," brian said and then they went to the front desk. "excuse me, could you please tell me what room Jayme Perry is staying in please?," Brian asked as nick just stared out the front doors watching all of the screaming fans. "room 27, this floor, its on the left, straight across from the gym," the clerk said. "thank you," brian said and he turned around to get nick when he saw him just standing there, day dreaming. "yo nick, snap out of it man," brian said shaking him. "huh? Oh. Sorry. Ready?," he asked brian. "yea, lets go," brian said and then they began walking. When they got to my room, they stopped and knocked. After about knocking for a few times, nick became worried and just opened the door and ran over to me. "Jayme! Are you ok?," he asked me as he shook me in a panic. "what? Nick, why are you shaking me?," I asked him as i got up. "oh. Your alright, phew. I thought that maybe…oh nevermind. We need to talk," nick said. "you thought what nick?," i asked as i stood up and stretched. "I don't know what I thought. I was just worried about you," he said as he put his arm around me.