The Germ Theory!
The germ theory is based on the fact that germs are very very very very very little and tiny and miniscule and really quite small. OK, now that we've established how small and tiny, etc. germs are, imagine how small their legs must be! So, logically, it would take a germ a really really long time to get from A to B or B to A - even if it ran very fast. It follows that if you drop a piece of food or object that you need to keep clean on the floor, and if the spot where you drop this thing is called "A" and the spot where the nearest germ is is called "B", it is gonna take the germ a while to get from where it is to where the thing is (B to A - as established previously). Once you have accepted this, it stands to reason that, considering you are a much bigger and faster human being, (if not - welcome to the planet, it's about bloody time!), if you pick up this thing of the ground as fast as you possibly can, no germs will be on it because they will not have had enough time to get to it. "Ah Hah!" I hear you say,"What if there are germs already on the spot you drop the thing on???". And you are feeling pretty proud of yourself, but I say, Ah Hah! yourself! If you drop something on the very spot where a germ is, one of two things could happen: 1) the germ is killed instantly and you simply brush him off the bottom of your thing when you pick it up. or 2) the germ is alive and tries to get up on the thing but seeing as he has already been proven to have very small legs, he does not have time to put them on the thing before you very quickly pick it up. In this case the germ would die immediately from sudden shock or go into severe depression and walk around in circles for the rest of it's life, not having any time to have babies and therefore, saving you more trouble. As you can see, germs are very easy to manipulate and avoid. Anyone who takes this theory to heart is also likely to save a lot of money on cleaning liquids.
Oh! This is ridiculous!!!
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