g'day oh world peoples and welcome to the Esther Page!

As you may be able to tell, I am in a bit of a green mood at the moment...and shall now throw in a lively and exciting Jellybean picture, for your viewing pleasure.

as you can see, I was a gorgeous child. Born in the special operations ward of the 3rd Floor of the Allen's Confectionary factory in Wellingport, NSW, I never was quite the normal one.

Growing up I was a little deformed, and always got picked on by my jellybean brothers and sisters. Despite all this, I new that I was special, and that somewhere within me was a hidden spark of something extraordinary. I would often sigh wistfully and say things like, "oh, there has to be more to life than this!"

**SHIFT FROM 1ST TO 3RD PERSON NOW!**

And then she discovered to her great delight and GLEE(!) the doctrine of procrastination!!!!!

Esther was so wrapt in the idea of procrastination that she adopted it as her personal mantra and became the illustrous queen of procrastination (married to Rel, the king of procrastination...but that's another story). ANYWAY - Esther got so good at this procrastination thing that she was able to write many books about it and made lots of money and was able to move away from the vicious and ugly confectionary shop to become an independent jellybean.

Meanwhile, (ie. while unpacking her jellybean doona-cover and fairy curtains that she'd pinched from her husband rel), our heroine decided to run for mayor. But (ha ha sarah! i started a sentence with a conjunctive!) not just mayor of any city mind you - mayor of the town of Kaboom in the Mango Republic (long lost sister of the Banana Republic).

Despite the fact that non-natives of Kaboom are not supposed to run for mayor, the locals were so taken with Esther that they made her an honorary pop-star mayor. She went on to make great reforms in the education system of Kaboom, and later used it as her hidden base from which she took over the world (but that's another story too!).

(n.b. i think i will make a webpage called "the grotto" with lots of ancient stones and vines growing all over the place **insert wild hand gestures here**)

(n.n.b. i am a goat too)