Sarah Howe
The Exalted One
Greetings and Salutations. I see you have made the decision to enter the dark and endless depths of my world. Do not fear, I won't harm you, I welcome you to explore - although this may be difficult as this is just a webpage and I am not really here.
To begin with the dull and completely uninteresting information, I was born in Peru, and grew up in a variety of places, including Istanbul (which I shall always fondly remember as Byzantium), Budapest, Rotterdam (in the Netherlands), Venice and Copenhagen. My mother was a Peruvian belly dancer from the age of six and has yet to actually move away from this line of work. My father on the other hand, suffered from a severe case of youth when I was born and insisted on pretending I was his little sister until I was almost twelve years old, as can be imagined this caused me much pain in primary school when parent teacher night came around. As a child I enjoyed reading people's minds and playing tricks on my teachers. I was quite adept at ensuring other children were expelled on my behalf and therefore had an exemplary school record. I won fame for my feats of endurance in a variety of sports including elbow flexing, tongue stretching and finger rolling. My true passion however was Ancient History, and I found time to acquire a university professors time machine and spent a good deal of my adolescence travelling through the Roman Empire under the code name "oliver". I never quite made it to Greece though and this has always vexed me greatly.
After graduating high school I found time to attend cooking classes as well as becoming a henchman for an old school chum called "The Eye", or Lucas. I was thrilled to become public enemy number five in three separate countries, and public enemy number seven in two others for our terrorist activities, which included egging several political figures quite nastily and removing a famous actor's reading glasses from his trailer whilst he was filming - this was a great success as we halted filming for several hours while he found new ones to read his script, allowing us ample time to pilfer much electrical equipment. After a tragic error of judgement when Lucas attempted to murder Michael Jackson he was arrested and placed in prison thereby ending my brief history as a terrorist. After several failed attempts to become a legal citizen of France I returned to my parents home in Sweden were I set up a successful drug smuggling syndicate. Through this venture I amassed great wealth which I then lost on the horses, a weakness of mine when I was younger. To console myself after this loss of face I "turned to the bottle" as they say, however I could never quite bring myself to drink enough, especially as I would have little breaks every so often of a couple of weeks, this, as you can understand, hardly makes for a decent alcoholic, so I gave up on this lifestyle altogether and moved to Australia.
Since arriving here some time ago I have been a founding member of the schwoxzie triangle (along with Sorelle and Esther) and taken up university. I currently study civil engineering and arts (majoring in Ancient History) at the University of Queensland (fondly known as UQ by pretty much the entire country) and am planning for some quality study time in Canada on exchange from August.
I recently discovered in the midst of a conversation with Rel and her seemly ancient mother who was born in 1066AD but doesn't really look it, that I am really the illegitimate love child of Augustus Caesar. As you can imagine this came as quite a shock to me and I am indeed grateful that not many people know or else I would have been killed off by scheming relations long ago.
Earlier this year I returned back to my lands of origin in a bit of a whirlwind tour of Europe. Didn't have a chance to catch up with any relatives unfortunately as they are all dead, infighting amongst the clan I'm afraid. Had a great time though, the snow was white and the sky was blue (very odd really). After this I am hoping to head off to Amsterdam or just somewhere in the Netherlands to work after completing my studies.
I hope you have enjoyed my brief life history, I shall extend it later when I have more time, but for now, toodaloo, and email me if you have any questions!
Just to add some spice, I thought I'd show some really boring sites, and some not so boring, and some down right exciting and invigorating sites to you!
Things I have written
My online journal from Canada
UQ Civil Engineering Homepage
UQ School of History, Philosophy, Religion and Classics - skip the first three, they're dull, go straight to classics!!
Fuzzynet, for those who like reading
Home
Email: Sarah
