A True Friend
- When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bitch/bastered who made you sad
- When you are blue, I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile, I'll know you finally found someone who made you happy.
- When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
- When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
- When you are sick, stay away from me until you're well again.
- When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.