Enriquss Anntoekneeus Transit Meevegitarian was born at an extremely early age to his parents, a very ordinary and unassuming couple, from what they considered to be the lower-middle classes...... It is probable that they considered themselves thus because they changed their underwear more than once a month! ........even though it was sometimes with each other!!
Enriquss, at the impressionable age of one and a half, uttered his first word...... "Mare!"....... His mother, Agneater, was convinced that he was doing a rather good impression of a goat and told young Enriquss' father that the child would make a good impressionist. Mr Meevegitarian senior took his wife to mean that his son would be a bit of a wizz with the paint brush and so his parents encouraged young Enriquss in his impressionist ventures thus pushing him in the general direction of becoming an artist.
Unfortunately, Enriquss was, in reality, fairly lousy at drawing and painting, so by the time he started school, and not wanting to disappoint his parents or teachers, Enriquss employed the talents of a rather talented imp to "forge" original works of art which he could pass off as his own. One day Enriquss noticed that the imp was wearing better shoes than he was and realisation dawned that the imp was being overpaid and maybe there was money to be made...........? It is at about this time that Enriquss left school with his grade D diploma and his father was accidentally killed in a test firing of a troll crossbow. With an aging mother to support, no income and his only inheritance being his father's hereditary title of Baron, Enriquss decided to give himself a catchy "Nom-de-Plume" and so The Guild of Forgers and Counterfeiters was born with it's chief executive officer, Baron Blanco van Mann!
Every guild needs a motto and after a long period of word juggling and much scribbling-out, the Baron Blanco came up with:
Imitablis volo conturbo tourismus
Which as we all know is the pigeon Latin (the Latin that pigeons speak…….. not to be confused with pidgin Latin) for:
That which can be imitated will fool the tourists
........and this was about the time in the narrative when, during an inebriated encounter with a rambling herald, he was told; "Well, you know what I say! If you've got a motto then you have to have a crest of arms!"
and so...........
On a field per pall inverted vert, azure, tenne, a feather Quill bendwise sinister argent, in base a cifrado unfinished sable.
"......and I know it’s not strictly right, but......"
The escutcheon supported dexter an armed werduck rising addorsed and elevated gules, sinister a salient porcupine cendree. A helm crested by a Goat Couped and speaking "MARE" with mantlings and a motto.
Blanco sold a number of "his" paintings, which, luckily for him, were produced in a very saleable "furnishing" style and used the proceeds to pay the first month's rent on a desirable property located a stones throw...... hence the missing glazing..... from Unseen University.
