New Kids

You know who was and is the most useless of the NKOTB (New Kids On The Block for all you uninitiated trogladytes)? Joey Macintyre. Why Joey, the cute young one, you ask, why Joey and not Donnie or say Lucas?

Well, I'll tell you why. MTV's Say What Karioke. Normally I enjoy the comic stylings of the duo of Dave Holmes and Laura Lipshitz (Yowza), and you know I even enjoy the bad singing and dancing from time to time, but one thing that I do not enjoy is second-rate-poser-former-teen-idols, okay Donnie Osmond. I don't want to see them anymore.

Now I dont' want to get off on a rant here, but why do they have to ruin my nice idiotic fun in front of the allmighty tube with people that I would prefer to forget?

I thought we were through with the New Kids, except of course for Donnie Wahlberg, who acts in films, strangely enough following on the heels of his brother, who doesn't quite have the musical talent, but acts rather well for an underwear model.

But Joey, come on, he was the one that they threw in so that the little girls could get into the group just like the 13-year-olds.

Couldn't they have gotten someone else to replace Dave, if they had to? Jesse Camp would be better for christsake. Thinking about this has made me remember just how much I miss Laura Lipshitz.

Now get out of my office.

Drive

Am I totally worthless?

I was just wondering.

Pondering the world, you know. I was wondering why I'm not famous yet. If only fame in Japan, where I am worshiped unto like a god, was important in daily life. Maybe if I was famous somewhere, like say Canada, that would carry over into U.S. fame.

I mean look at Celine Dion, I'm at least as good as Celine, right.

Stop laughing at me.

This is the point where I should say "Now I dont' want to get off on a rant here," but, you know that's old, and probably a copyright infringement, so I think I'll just skip that part.

But really why am I not famous?

A lot of people are famous that shouldn't be. I mean look at Pauly Shore. I know, easy target, but MTV still should beg our forgiveness everyday for releasing the evil that is the weasel on the world. MTV gives us Pauly, but takes away my Laura Lipshitz. Damn them.

I think the reason that I'm not famous is that I just don't have any initiative. I'm just damn lazy and complacent.

If I wasn't so lazy, I might actually attempt to find some outlet to become famous.

If fame is not in my cards, you'd think I could at least be rich, or smart, or good looking.

Oh well.

My brain hurts.

First Rant

It seems that Steve was dismayed that there were no rants here on my rants page. He thinks that there should be at least one. Who am I to dissapoint?

Between my new job, and generally slothfull lifestyle, you would think there would be time to sit down and write something, and Lord knows enough things piss me off in daily life that I can come up with some fodder for a Milleresqe rant on daily issues, but I haven't. I just haven't felt the fire lately.

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I just don't seem to have the fire that I once had to point out the world's litte errors like I once did. Yes I still sit on my high horse and make observations on how life and the world would be much better under a Mussolini like dictatorship led by myself and a few trusted advisors who of course will have been left under house arrest on an island compound where they will constantly monitor world events and inform me in my palatial orbiting "laser-platform," allowing me to rain fire and death down apon the ususpecting world's populace, but I don't know am I getting complacent.

I moved from one job in a grocery store to another job in a larger grocery store. I did go to college, didn't I?

Yet I'm still treated as if I were some drug addled cretin, unworthy of even the smallest consideration that I might have some intelligence, while it is clear that I am a drug addled malcontent, who doesn't make the smallest considerations for hygiene.

Maybe one day I will decide to get off my loathsome spotty behind and punch the world in the neck, if I wasn't so lazy.