Our heroes (and non-heroes):
X=Xena
G=Gabrielle
C=Callisto
V=Velasca
E=Ephiny
Let's roll!!!
==============================================
The story rocks!:
G: Now Eph is the regent.
E: Thanx.
V: GABRIELLE!!!!!
X: Oh shit, the amazon village is on fire...
E: Kuukoo!
V: GABRIELLE!!!!!
G: OHelp! I am hunted...oops. But I can sacrifice myself for
the greater good if we take her out.
V: GABRIELLE!!!!!
KABOOOOOM
*all run to secret amazonian caves*
X: ...is exploding?...come on, Gabby; let's free Callisto so
we'll have some fun this week! Ok, so she killed Perdicus a
couple of eps ago, but admit it; you never really loved him
anywa-
G: SSSSCH! Not that loud, Xena! The viewers needs some continuity.
Besides; it's nice to have a dead husband being the plot device
instead of being it myself. (for a change)
-When do we free
the bitch?
[in yet another cave:]
C: Hssssttt...Herculeeeees...Moahahahahaaaaaa! KATJOIIING! (dead
rat on a stick)
X: Mornin', Callisto. Velasca's evil, you're evil. And you're
both immora- ehr... _immortals_...ah-yeah (almost forgot); -she's
got the ambrosia too! Do a wrestling thingie with Velasca on
a rope bridge, save Gabby and we'll let you have some.
C: Okey. Yo, Gabby, did he bleed alot when he died, your hubby?
G: Shut up.
C: Check this; I'm immortal! I can run a sword straight through
my stomach! Aw-rightie, WP; you perform in the village and I
follow.
[in the village:]
X: Ding-dong in the village! I was really evil-evil and bad
once upon a time and wrecked Callisto's childhood, so that she
became as bad and mean and evil-evil as I was once-upon-a-time.
Man, I'm evil! Bad Xena! Come on, let's split.
*the 3 babes walks to alotta stones and await Velasca*
V: GABRIELLE!!!!!
C: Ta-taa! Me Callisto; -you Velasca. I want Xena, you want Gabby.
V: GABRIELLE!!!!! *kills Callisto*
C: Ok, that does it. NOBODY kills Callisto! Take this!
X: GABRIELLE!!!!!
*fight**chakram**staff**Velasca under stones*
[campfire scene:]
C: Truth.
G: Dare.
C: Bloody Perdicus.
G: Shut it.
X: We're gonna trick Velasca into a lava river and use Gabby
as bait.
[fighting, running and eye candy scenes:]
V: GABRIELLE!!!!! I AM A GOOOOOOOD! I HAVE ILLUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!!!
WHAHAHHAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
X: GABRIELLE!!!!!
V: WHAHAHAHAHA!
X: GABRIELLE!!!!!
*Gabby runs to the rope bridge*
G: Ooooh giiii-iiiirls! I'm on the rope bridge and am waving
with the ambrosia! Wheeeeeee!
C: Give me!
X: Give!
C: I AM A GOOOOOOOD! I WANT TO PLAY!!! WHAHAHHAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
G: Xena, cut the rope; I'll sacrifice myself!
X:
Hell no! Hang on and look hither!
V: AAAAGH!
C: IIIIIAAAAAAH!
*evil nemesis x2 falls into lava*
*Xena goes....
BUNGYJUUUUUMP
climb
climb*
[Closing scene with this week's moral stuff:]
G: Good, now we'll have time to rest all the way to "Maternal
Instincts" before Callisto shows her psycho face again!
What a relief! You think Callisto regrets anything she's done?
X: NOWAY!
G:
Come on...she has to. Otherwise we'll have no moral closing
line this week.
X: Ooooh-'lright. Now; let's go look for my sword, since I don't
know where it landed when Velasca zapped me. A grrl's gotta
do something 'til next week!
G: Can we go hot-tubbing together naked then and confuse all
the fans? *jumpjump*
X: Of course! *wolf grin*
THE END
