You Might Be A

• your clients break your fingers on a regular basis.
• your tattoo chair is a 'lazy boy'.
• you buy a family size box of popsicles so you'll have enough ointment applicators to last a month.
• you giggle when you see pa sippin' out of the rinse cup.
• your hourly rate is measured on a triple beam.
• your flash is pinned with magnets to the refrigerator.
• you refer to the local studio as 'those darn stuck-up who don't know what tattin's all 'bout'.
• you think paul booth is 'that sumbitch that killed abe lincoln'
• your vaseline jar has pubic hairs in it.
• your ultrasonic doubles as a car parts cleaner.
• your speed stick has armpit hairs on it.
• your best flash is a spawn comic book.
• you say ' what kind of pistol is a 7 mag?'
• you think a contact screw is sex without a condom.
• dime liner, nickle shader is what you actually paid for them.
• you see a walkman and start drooling over the possibilities.
• your 'apprenticeship' ends with parole.
• the landmarks around your shop are a plastic pink flamingo and a plymouth volare up on blocks.
• you have to reorder the tattoo artist shirt from spaulding, because their is too much blood on the one you've got.
• your customers go blind trying to make out the flash in the spaulding catalog.
• you only tattoo with gloves in the winter.
• you misspell a 'mom' heart.
• your spray bottle says 'massengil' on the side.
• your linework looks like it was done with a seizmograph.
• you can't scrape the dried up cheez whiz out of your autoclave/ toaster oven.
• you think an s.t.d. is an oil treatment.
• you don't open your 'shop' til 5 p.m. 'cause that's when the health dept. closes.
• your white is greyer than your shades.
• you consider it a major upgrade when going from duct tape to cap head screws.
• your blue is lighter than the bruises.
• the bruises last longer than the blue.
• your saving for one of them starter kits, 'cause then you'll be a professional.
  ****courtesy of a tattoo forum****