Thursday, February 24th 2005
L'ARC EN CIEL X_X
(aimaina risou risou wo nakuse aiwo shimese shimese imasugu)
Louis and i woke up at about noon and he watched T.V. and i danced. He went to work around 2:15 and i played with tape and listen to the Violent Femmes. Around 5:00 (Arianna said,) i called Arianna several times and then walked to Subway to fill out an application, but when i flipped it over there were a bunch of math problems. What the fuck? So, several seconds into trying to figure out the first problem, i realized something. i forgot how to fucking subtract. Damn. i guess if you don't use it you really lose it, huh? So i folded it up and decided to finish it later. Then i went to CVS and bought some more DXM cough gels. Heh. i ate them on the way home. it was about 6:45 when i got home, and now it's 7:09. This whole story leaves me with one question burning in the back of my mind: why am i obsessed with what time it is?
7:17: i should probably mention that i bough a 24 oz. double mocha cappucino at speedway and it's almost gone now. No, it is gone now. So needless to say, i'm jittery jumpy hyper and holy shit.
J-ROCK ROBO TRIPPIN INAI NO? NO! YES! MAYBE!
VERY MUCH THE HAPPY
SMILE
if anyone were to look in the window they would so know i'm on drugs. Boing! Boing! Boing! damn you!
FUCKING MANIC
7:43: i'm way too fucked up to do the dishes or clean right now. But now is a perfect time to fuck around with art and make collages. What is productivity?
7:53: Why is it that i forget what i'm doing within seconds of deciding to do it? *hic*
8:02: CALM DOWN DUDE
You know, i think it's the music's fault. That's right, i am not to blame here, i've been entranced by the music. i'm listening to that cd i made myself. Cato is a silly doofus. My vision is going all funny, holy shit. Dude looks like a lady. i still haven't gotten around to making a collage. i was too busy jumping around and head banging and head shaking and body crazy going. i think i forgot how to spell. i'm so fucked up. Why did i decide to do more DXM today? i think i thought it would increase my productivity and i might be able to actually have fun for a day. i hate being by myself. But this definitely makes it more interesting. i have a liscense. A liscense to kill. Jesus, is that how you spell that? it looks funny. liscense. liscense. liscense. Artistic liscense. To kill. 8:21
8:28: Holy shit! Seven minutes have passed and it felt like an hour. Jesus, i love this cd. i love this notebook. i am so fucking fucked up. My vision is not how it should be. i'm enveloped in to layer of psychotic fuzz. it's whooshing. Shwoosh. Why did i not get fucked up like this last night? i'm stuck in this chair now. i think i used up all my energy. i'm just sitting here like i'm stoned. 8:43
9:00: Very bright, everything is bright. My eyes are all crossed and wobbly, pulsating flashes. if we get the transit fax, then we are really free to fly high in space. Bubble. i am a fish bowl. Only the fish bowl concerns me. Hungry. So fucked up. 9:06
9:13: it is incredibly unwise to do this by myself. This. THIS. Alone. Without anyone else here to watch me and make sure i'm still sane. Don't ever take DXM and then try to switch the tapes in the video camera, because it doesn't work. Goddman. video camera. Looooooooouis. is not home. He'll be home in two hours. Probably. And i still haven't cleaned anything in the house. 9:25
9:33: i finally finished eating that hash brown toaster thingy. i didn't really want to eat but i felt kinda like i needed to, i a queasy sort of way. i need to call Ondria. Shit. i'm too fucked up to talk. i told her i'd call. i have to call her.
10:27: Just got off the phone with Andrea. my god, that was a difficult conversation. i can't pay attention to shit right now. And everything is still just as fucked up as it was before. Did i actually think i'd be okay to talk on the phone when i took those pills? Or did i forget about telling Andrea i'd call her? i am too fucked up to even be writing. i don't know what's going on.
10:51: Jesus Christ. My mom called me and i had to talk to her. i DON'T WANT TO TALK ON THE PHONE! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! NOTHING IS SENSE MAKE
11:23: i am so fucking fucked up. i am way too fucked up. Fucked up i am way too. Way too fucking fucked up i am. Fucked up am i. i'm so fucked up.
11:28: Wrapped in cotton i am. Static all around there is. Not here is Louis. Fucked up am i. Green eggs and bacon. We all are swimming.
11:36: i successfully brushed my teeth without dying.
1:51: Louis and i went to Meijer to get him some more DXM even though he already had some on his lunch break which was at like 8:00pm and he says he knows what he's doing and i fucking hope so. i'm starting to feel a lot less like i'm giong to die and Louis just now took his whole bottle, god. We've gotta stop doing this.
FEBRUARY 25
3:40: i feel...strange. But it's cool. i feel like i always do the day after a DXM binge. The taxman is cool.
FLIGHT OF IDEAS
