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Dexedrine 1

Date unknown
11:58am
I’ve been asking myself questions all day, narrating what I do, asking myself why, answering, asking again. Today I stayed up, I didn’t go to bed at 8:00am like I usually do, I took 4 Dexedrine tablets and did the dishes. But when I got back on the internet after washing the dishes I talked to Heather online, I told her how much I loved her and she yelled at me. She reminded me of a time when I referred to her as “stupid”, I was only joking, she took it personally. Really, really personally. So I apologised ten thousand times and she wouldn’t accept it, so I told her again that I loved her and stopped sending messages. It kind of depressed me, but I’m not sure if I can feel very bad right now, with this much Dexedrine in my system. So I worked some more on my rapidly growing web page, and suddenly got the extreme urge to play minesweeper like a madwoman. So I did, and I kept losing, but I didn’t care and I kept playing. I got a completely stupid realization that every time I played, I was clicking on the same squares that I’ve been clicking on all this time, the exact same grid pattern. Not too profound, but true.

1:10pm
Decided to win at minesweeper. Failed miserably. Actually got irritated with the game and played solitaire. Got irritated with that too. Took two more Dexedrine tablets and added to my Hotaru gallery.

1:24pm
I grow weary of the crap that this computer puts me through. I’m going to kind of somewhat clean my room maybe.

2:39pm
I’ve been cleaning my room, I’m now talking to Magan and looking for more pictures of Hotaru. I think I’m losing my voice.

3:51pm
I’m bored. I messed around with this creative writer thing but it’s not terribly entertaining right now. I want someone to call me but I know they won’t. I’m a little depressed. Gee, do you think this could have anything to do with all that Dexedrine? Um, yeah. So anyway I’m going to play minesweeper and stuff.

4:16pm
This computer is pissing me off largely.

I stayed awake for a total of 3 days. I was really cold and my hands were purple the entire time. On the third day my shampoo and conditioner ran away from me. I was supposed to help a friend of mine move that day but I was having trouble keeping my balance and didn't want to fall while carrying big heavy things up the scary wobbly ramp.