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I BECAME A TEACHER, FLED FROM ANGRY MOTORCYCLISTS AND BEFRIENDED EMINEM

I got a call from Roscommon High School demanding that I come to school and teach a class. I came in the next day and walked into my classroom. I had a large class of unruly students about my same age. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be teaching. I would have asked the class, but they were all extremely uninterested in any classes at all and could care less. So I figured, what the hell, I have these people under my control, I'll do whatever I want. There was something about taking a shower before I went to class...I have a lot of dreams about showers.

The teacher in the classroom next to mine was obsessed with anime. I kept seeing visions of Sailor Moon. I quickly tired of this farce they call a school and a teacher came to replace me. He had marijuana cough drops. He gave me one. I rode on a really big colorful snake...

Scene change. I was out in the woods with a group of nameless people. We were, for some reason, bicycling through the woods in the snow. It was difficult. After a while one of the identities of one of the other bicyclists became clear to me. He was Eminem. There was a group of motorcyclists, also riding through the woods, that hated him, and therefore, all of us. There was about five or six people in each of our groups. We kept just missing the motorcyclists, and being very glad about it. After a while we decided to stop, we were getting tired of all that nonsense. The motorcyclists almost got us that last time they came by. Eminem hid from them in a really big, snowy ditch. I saw my friend Angie on the side of the road and talked to her. I mentioned Eminem and she cringed. After I left I talked to Eminem for a while.

The next day I went back to school just for the hell of it. The same teacher there gave me a joint. Angie thought it was cocaine for some reason, and associated it with Eminem. She became extremely angry with me. The buses drove by without stopping, forcing students to be quick and agile if they wanted a ride home. I got on one. On the bus a little kid offered me a computer game. I played it.

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