C: But...I'm on a rollercoaster. It's behind me and whenever I turn around it moves.
L: Banana!
C: I was listening to Inna Gadda da Vida and I walked away!
L: Otaaaay.
C: I don't have enough memory to tell you what I was thinking about when I started to tell you that.
L: What about Tom Waits?
C: I want to play Tom Waits.
L: I want to play with Tom Waits too.
tom waits music plays
L: We are not alone.
C: Woah.
L: I am watching. You...are a part of me.
C: Oh, my god.
L: Wherever you go, I go.
C: Dude...
L: Whatever you see, I see. Don't disappoint me.
C: It's one of those robot thingies!
L: I'm coming to get you!
C: It's the cenobite! Oh my god! Oh my god, don't kill me! You fucking elephant!
L: Cut, cut, cut. Who the hell brought an elephant on the damn...get it off the set. Off the set! Now!
C: Reality keeps doing that thing.
L: What do I pay you people for? Get this reality straight! Get it straight now!
C: It's really bendy, and it keeps waving, and throwing me off of this ledge.
L: Quit fuckin' throwing people around! Somebody get this motherfucker organized, or I'm going to be slittin' throats.
C: I totally understand that stoner body language now. This is the same grey fuzzy darkness that encompassed me the last time. It's the same grey fuzzy darkness........AAH!!! No, don't let any light in. Are they here? The monkeys!
L: No, the monkeys aren't here yet, the truck driver got a flat.
C: Dude! Dude, I can see them outside!
L: No no no, those are the neighbors. No, the monkey truck...
C: Outside of the fuzzy darkness!
L: Oh, yeah.
C: That encompasses the basement!
L: Yeah, you just go beyond that about three miles that's where the truck broke down. Flat...you're gonna be a delay in about an hour...
C: You know that's not true!
L: I don't work for these people.
C: There are no monkeys!
L: I'm just getting paid to say this.
C: The elephant doesn't exist either. He was never here.
L: No, there was no elephant.
C: It's the elephant's butt and I think that's really rude.
L: Yeah...whatever...
C: I need a beverage of some sort.
L: Alright everybody! We're goin' over to the bar!
C: Where am I? I'm on the pool table.
L: No, you're a Hollywood baby.
C: What? Holly doesn't have a baby!
L: We need some drinks NOW!
louis leaves to get some drinks
C: There's a ringing tone in my voice! Answer it! You don't exist right now, dude! Your pants are on the staircase and I'm in the basement, and you're not in existence, and I'm not talking to you, and your pants are on the staircase with a banana. You're not talking, and I'm not listening to you. I'm tripping on a microphone and my pancake can't get up. The oily night surrounds me, and it's behind me, and I can't see it because whenever I turn around and look behind me, that's in front of me, so I can't stop screaming into the microphone, because I'm an idiot, and I'm stupid, and I need to be shot! I need to stop screaming because I'm really doing it! And I don't want to be! tape stops, starts dude, you took a long time! There was a castle down here, in the dark ages.
L: Whoa.
C: And then, when you came down here it was later. I'm not here right now. And the frying pan is in the kitchen sink. No! The toaster's in the refridgerator!
L: I'll believe you.
C: I'm acting a lot more normal than I really am...right now. Right now. And right now.
L: Right now?
C: Right now.
L: Right now?
C: Right now. Right now! pause It's not there.
L: Not right now.
C: Woah...holy shit. It was a circus clown. No, back then. No right now it's just a ventriloquist dummy in a circus tent.
L: You've been trapped in a circus!
C: No! The monkeys are in my cage! Thank you.
L: You're welcome.
C: That is not a can of juice. You are not a rubber moose.
L: Look behind you, what do you see?
C: ......It's a penny!
L: In other news, teletubby land is on fire.
C: I did not kill Michael Jordan. They said I did...but it was a FUCKING LIE!
L: Yes. this is our most shocking news. She did not kill Michael Jackson.
C: JORDAN! MICHAEL JORDAN!
L: My mistake.
C: He hit me in the head with an oar.
L: I love not loving itchy butt rashes.
C: My nostrils are made of giant watermelons.
L: And mine are made of peeeee!
C: I am not a Care Bear.
L: I'm not a Care Bear!
C: Are you a vagina?
L: Maybe. Maybe I am.
C: Do Care Bears have vaginas?
L: Yeah, they all do. God was a vagina too.
goes to get more drinks
C: He's taking a century to get down the stairs. But a walrus took his drinks. And he needs to replace them with walrus feet before they stampede. I need to wedge something in my eardrum. Did you put the cocaine in you breast? I can't hear myself after I talk. It's like an echo in the past. And then it's like it never happened. Is there a block of cheese in the microwave? I'm doing word salad, like schizophrenic people.
L: apples, elephants, trees, wow...hey...you know what? Um...thought process! Uh. Um.
C: Am I an alien in your mango?
L: No, you're a monkey in my forest.
C: Is it wrinkly?
L: No, it's fuzzy.
C: What about the baseball bat?
L: I broke it.
C: It hurts a lot.
L: I ate it, too. With cheese.
C: You have cancer.
L: No, I had chemo the other day. It's okay.
C: But you're balding the freshness of senility!
L: And I just found serenity in my butt.
C: THAT...was a python.
L: No, it was a pirate.
C: He was not in your butt.
L: A butt pirate.
C: 'Cause he's a mushroom. And mushrooms don't have buttsex.
L: There be no law 'pon the butt.
C: That paint bucket's not on my side. I think he's the enemy. You have crickets in your lips.
L: .............I have crickets in my teeth???
C: Don't let the cabbage bunnies get away, they're on the other side of the ladder and if we chase them down they'll feel really good, like a fork.
L: The angry mad scientist. He came. He fought. He won. They lost. Everything.
C: Is my pony in your butt?
L: Nope. Anyway...I forgot what we were...I forgot what...I forgot. I forgot what?
C: My brain is moist like fried chicken! pause. My brain is moist like fried chicken and sponge cake!
L: The video camera.
C: My video recordings deny the obvious.
L: And what about the video camera?
C: It's watching you.
END
