by Edgar Allan Poe
(1850)
Intensos rigidam in frontem ascendere canos
Passus eratLucan
--a bristly bore.
Translation
"LET us hurry to the walls," said Abel-Phittim
to Buzi-Ben-Levi and Simeon the Pharisee, on the tenth day of
the month Thammuz, in the year of the world three thousand nine
hundred and forty-one- "let us hasten to the ramparts adjoining
the gate of Benjamin, which is in the city of David, and
overlooking the camp of the uncircumcised; for it is the last
hour of the fourth watch, being sunrise; and the idolaters, in
fulfilment of the promise of Pompey, should be awaiting us with
the lambs for the sacrifices."
Simeon, Abel-Phittim, and Buzi-Ben-Levi, were the
Gizbarim, or sub-collectors of the offering, in the holy city
of Jerusalem.
"Verily," replied the Pharisee, "let us hasten:
for this generosity in the heathen is unwonted; and
fickle-mindedness has ever been an attribute of the worshippers
of Baal."
"That they are fickle-minded and treacherous is as
true as the Pentateuch," said Buzi-Ben-Levi, "but that is only
towards the people of Adonai. When was it ever known that the
Ammonites proved wanting to their own interests? Methinks it is
no great stretch of generosity to allow us lambs for the altar
of the Lord, receiving in lieu thereof thirty silver shekels
per head!"
"Thou forgettest, however, Ben-Levi," replied
Abel-Phittim, "that the Roman Pompey, who is now impiously
besieging the city of the Most High, has no assurity that we
apply not the lambs thus purchased for the altar, to the
sustenance of the body, rather than of the spirit."
"Now, by the five corners of my beard!" shouted
the Pharisee, who belonged to the sect called The Dashers (that
little knot of saints whose manner of dashing and lacerating
the feet against the pavement was long a thorn and a reproach
to less zealous devotees- a stumbling-block to less gifted
perambulators)- "by the five corners of that beard which, as a
priest, I am forbidden to shave!- have we lived to see the day
when a blaspheming and idolatrous upstart of Rome shall accuse
us of appropriating to the appetites of the flesh the most holy
and consecrated elements? Have we lived to see the day
when-"
"Let us not question the motives of the
Philistine," interrupted Abel-Phittim, "for to-day we profit
for the first time by his avarice or by his generosity, but
rather let us hurry to the ramparts, lest offerings should be
wanting for that altar whose fire the rains of heaven cannot
extinguish, and whose pillars of smoke no tempest can turn
aside."
That part of the city to which our worthy Gizbarin
now hastened, and which bore the name of its architect, King
David, was esteemed the most strongly fortified district of
Jerusalem; being situated upon the steep and lofty hill of
Zion. Here, a broad, deep, circumvallatory trench, hewn from
the solid rock, was defended by a wall of great strength
erected upon its inner edge. This wall was adorned, at regular
interspaces, by square towers of white marble; the lowest
sixty, and the highest one hundred and twenty cubits in height.
But, in the vicinity of the gate of Benjamin, the wall arose by
no means from the margin of the fosse. On the contrary, between
the level of the ditch and the basement of the rampart, sprang
up a perpendicular cliff of two hundred and fifty cubits,
forming part of the precipitous Mount Moriah. So that when
Simeon and his associates arrived on the summit of the tower
called Adoni-Bezek- the loftiest of all the turrets around
about Jerusalem, and the usual place of conference with the
besieging army- they looked down upon the camp of the enemy
from an eminence excelling by many feet that of the Pyramid of
Cheops, and, by several, that of the temple of Belus.
"Verily," sighed the Pharisee, as he peered dizzly
over the precipice, "the uncircumcised are as the sands by the
seashore- as the locusts in the wilderness! The valley of The
King hath become the valley of Adommin."
"And yet," added Ben-Levi, "thou canst not point
me out a Philistine- no, not one- from Aleph to Tau- from the
wilderness to the battlements- who seemeth any bigger than the
letter Jod!"
"Lower away the basket with the shekels of
silver!" here shouted a Roman soldier in a hoarse, rough voice,
which appeared to issue from the regions of Pluto- "lower away
the basket with the accursed coin which it has broken the jaw
of a noble Roman to pronounce! Is it thus you evince your
gratitude to our master Pompeius, who, in his condescension,
has thought fit to listen to your idolatrous importunities? The
god Phoebus, who is a true god, has been charioted for an hour-
and were you not to be on the ramparts by sunrise? Aedepol! do
you think that we, the conquerors of the world, have nothing
better to do than stand waiting by the walls of every kennel,
to traffic with the dogs of the earth? Lower away! I say- and
see that your trumpery be bright in color and just in
weight!"
"El Elohim!" ejaculated the Pharisee, as the
discordant tones of the centurion rattled up the crags of the
precipice, and fainted away against the temple- "El Elohim!-
who is the God Phoebus?- whom doth the blasphemer invoke? Thou,
Buzi-Ben-Levi! who art read in the laws of the Gentiles, and
hast sojourned among them who dabble with the Teraphim!- is it
Nergal of whom the idolater speaketh?- or Ashimah?- or-
Nibhaz?- or Tartak?- or Adramalech?- or Anamalech?- or
Succoth-Benith?- or Dragon?- or Belial?- or Baal-Perith?- or
Baal-Peor?- or Baal-Zebub?"
"Verily it is neither- but beware how thou lettest
the rope slip too rapidly through thy fingers; for should the
wicker-work chance to hang on the projection of yonder crag,
there will be a woful outpouring of the holy things of the
sanctuary."
By the assistance of some rudely constructed
machinery, the heavily laden basket was now carefully lowered
down among the multitude; and, from the giddy pinnacle, the
Romans were seen gathering confusedly round it; but owing to
the vast height and the prevalence of a fog, no distinct view
of their operations could be obtained.
Half an hour had already elapsed.
"We shall be too late!" sighed the Pharisee, as at
the expiration of this period, he looked over into the abyss-
"we shall be too late! we shall be turned out of office by the
Katholim."
"No more," responded Abel-Phittim,- "no more shall
we feast upon the fat of the land- no longer shall our beards
be odorous with frankincense- our loins girded up with fine
linen from the Temple."
"Raca!" swore Ben-Levi, "Raca! do they mean to
defraud us of the purchase money? or, Holy Moses! are they
weighing the shekels of the tabernacle?
"They have given the signal at last!" cried the
Pharisee- "they have given the signal at last!- pull away,
Abel-Phittim!- and thou, Buzi-Ben-Levi, pull away!- for verily
the Philistines have either still hold upon the basket, or the
Lord hath softened their hearts to place therein a beast of
good weight!" And the Gizbarim pulled away, while their burthen
swung heavily upwards through the still increasing mist.
"Booshoh he!"- as, at the conclusion of an
hour, some object at the extremity of the rope became
indistinctly visible- "Booshoh he!" was the exclamation which
burst from the lips of Ben-Levi.
"Booshoh he!- for shame!- it is a ram from the
thickets of Engedi, and as rugged as the valley of
Jehosaphat!"
"It is a firstling of the flock," said
Abel-Phittim, "I know him by the bleating of his lips, and the
innocent folding of his limbs. His eyes are more beautiful than
the jewels of the Pectoral, and his flesh is like the honey of
Hebron."
"It is a fatted calf from the pastures of Bashan,"
said the Pharisee, "the heathen have dealt wonderfully with
us!- let us raise up our voices in a psalm!- let us give thanks
on the shawm and on the psaltery- on the harp and on the
huggab- on the cythern and on the sackbutt"
It was not until the basket had arrived within a
few feet of the Gizbarium, that a low grunt betrayed to their
perception a hog of no common size.
"Now El Emanu!" slowly, and with upturned eyes
ejaculated the trio, as, letting go their hold, the emancipated
porker tumbled headlong among the Philistines, "El Emanu!- God
be with us- it is the unutterable flesh!"