MY POEMS
BABY
Who the hell are you to say
Baby, put your tears away
You are not my mother, dear
Don't even try to calm my fears
It's only you that I detest
You think you're better than the rest
I wish you would open your eyes
And see your heart sinking in twisted lies
Choke on all your happy thoughts
Live in the havoc you have wrought
Then I'll shake my head at you
And every little thing you do
You'll know what it's like to be me
Your petty remarks will lead you to see
That you're the real baby here
So shut your mouth, sister dear
REVOLVING DOORS
Falling further into myself
My heart is bleeding into my soul
Baby doll soaked with tears
Trying to wash away these fears
Scarring leaks out all the pain
Yet does not hold what I wish to gain
My heart is crushed into your hands
My mind is lost within this hell
Black tears form rivers throughout my soul
Spinning in your crooked lies
Selfish thoughts and foolish games
Revolving doors, forgetting names
Swallowing all the pain
Choking down the cold, bleak rain
My life resembles a child's broken toy
Sadness emenates my cruel, harsh world
Strangled and twisted inside my head
Feeling engulfed by all your shit
Wanting to break free
Knowing that we'll never be
Hand in hand or eye to eye
As my heart still continues to cry
Our shadows dancing on the walls
Forever seeking what love enthralls
EMPTY
Pour my soul
Out of my body
Bottle it up
In a jar
Set me free
From where I live
This prison in my mind
Stop my heart
From feeling pain
Dry up the tears within
Make me hollow
Let me be
A shell for all to see
LIAR
I sit here crying
The tears won't cease
Love has left me
And he stole the key.
My heart is slowly cracking
I can feel it break inside
Pain engulfs me
Because he lied.
My soul is wounded
I can not breathe
It hurts to speak
It hurts to see.
Stupid, foolish, trusting girl
Who wanted to believe
His words sounded so true
Oh, why did I fall for you?
MONSTER
Sick, twisted, stupid game
Jerking me out of my mind
Voices ringing in my ears
Shadows mounting on the wall
Light becomes the darkness now
And in my pleasure, I find pain
Behind me stalks the monster
Looming over my shivering figure
Unsuspecting stupid girl
Feel the monster edging closer
And in pure fright, I stand still
The monster claws at my weak body
Still I utter not one word
Until he pulls my blanket from me
Pushing through with his cold, black tongue
Ripping through all my emotions
Trying to climb deeper inside
Then my tears come pouring out
And like a river start to flow
Wanting them to drown him
And force him from myself
But I know it's far too late
For the monster's invaded my soul
CHOCOLATE MOUSE
Lying underneath the shadows
Trying not to breathe
In the darkness I can hear
That monster knawing at my soul
Heartbeat pulsating through my veins
Swimming in a pool of fright
The monster's getting louder and louder
With rapid breath
And pale, burning flesh
My heart is racing out of control
My damp red eyes purge the darkness
Listening for silence
Paralyzed in thought
The monster's gone away
Hidden underneath the shadows
Staring at my soul
NEVER
Silent tears of sorrow
And pain I've never known
Fall onto my shadow
Insane I will not go
Darkness surrounds my soul
But light shines through my heart
Feelings I can never know
And places I will never go
Until you shared yourself with me
I bled in misery
Slowly dying
Forever crying
But never letting go
Staring through that silent room
Hatred I can never know
To love you is to be confined
Inside myself, inside my mind
In all my dreams, I see your face
You can't feel
This love so deep
Going down an upward spiral
Looking through my scarred impression
Secrets that will never hurt me
Lives of joy can not dessert me
Although you say you'll never hurt me
You've crushed the space inside my heart
And still the pain I'll never know
If you stay deep within my soul
NO MORE
I close my eyes
And sink into myself
My heart is whithered
My soul no more
The light is getting dimmer
The fire's almost out
The tears of hurt and pain
No longer come about
My candy-coated smile
Forces back the tears
And your cold, black heart
Will never see my face
Will never feel my breath again
Or my warm embrace
Because you cannot love
Because you cannot be
Forever you will die inside
For what you did to me
RAILING
Thrashing pain
Over insignificant shit
Laying blame
Why must you always hit?
Tears and blood run down my face
I'm locked up in this cell
Waiting to escape this place
It's not much better than hell.
Abandoned in shame
Alone in the dark
Sick of this game
A new journey I must embark.
I must get away from you
Without ever looking back
And start my life anew
No longer seeing only black.
This would be my only dream
If I had one wish come true
To stop this painful scream
That's in my mind because of you.
SECRETS
Nowhere to turn
Feel the walls closing in
You can feel your soul burn
Like a fire from within.
So much to say
Yet no sound is made
The thoughts of today
Will never fade.
They slap you in the face
And break your heart in two
Life is just a race
And everyone's ahead of you.
Silent screams
And secrets that hurt
Hidden dreams
Shove your face in the dirt.
Don't worry now
Just let the hurt go
You'll never know how
I loved you so.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
Do you see me through the smoky haze
With my wings and my eyes all ablaze
Am I dancing with the night
Am I laughing at every sight
Breaking the silence in the air
Do you see me there
Or am I hiding inside myself
Crying with my heart
When you look at me
Do you know
My lover is far away
What do you see through the smoky haze
It's something
But not me
TRAPPED
Trapped inside this meaningless facade
This soul that I call me
Get out of my head you stupid bitch
Please someone set me free
I'm wandering through a path in the woods
Where is the wolf I shall meet
Hiding inside my thoughts
Trying to be discreet
I want to fly to another place
And dance in the flames
My shadow is where I can not see
I'm too caught up in these games
My soul is raging with desire
I can not set it free
It can't get out
It's trapped
Inside this shell called me
-All above poems are the sole property of Mary T. Madden
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