Completed: 2/24/09

Disclaimer: All XF characters are still the property of CC. I don’t make a cent off of ‘em.

"Hey, Dana."

"Hi. All packed?"

"Yeah. I was just going over my checklist."

"Checklist? Really?"

"Yeah. Lame, huh?"

"No! Oh, do you know how many times I’ve told Mulder that if he had a checklist, he’d be a lot better off?"

"Speaking of Mulder, how is he?"

The mood turned instantly sullen.

"Depressed as hell. Alex still won’t budge?"

"Not an inch."

"How is he?"

"He’s expending a tremendous amount of energy, trying to be stoic, but he’s a wreck, Dana. He exercises, he eats right, but that’s all he does that’s good for him. He spends hours in his bedroom, listening to his music... Mulder sent him some new CDs, but I’m sure you know that."

"Yeah, I know."

"They came day before yesterday... with the pictures. He just... he stares at them. Stares and listens to the music. I feel so terrible about leaving him, but he absolutely won’t hear of me staying."

"God, this is insane. It’s... How can one wrinkled, decrepit old bastard wreak so much havoc?"

"I know, believe me, I know. But he’s capable of making good on any threat he tosses out, and Alex, more than anyone else, knows it. So, if he feels that this is how he has to play it, who are we to insist otherwise?"

"There has to be something we can do," Scully persisted. "Mulder’s been looking for him, to my strenuous objections, for the past couple of weeks, but no luck."

"Looking for him to..."

"Not to have a reasonable, rational conversation, that’s for sure."

"Christ."

"Yeah. Well, clearly the old jackass doesn’t want to be found, so..." Scully paused and then changed the subject. "You know, Peter, if you really don’t want to leave Alex, I’ll understand."

"I don’t want to leave him alone, especially since his birthday is coming up soon. But he’s threatened to take off if I stay, so... And I do want to see you."

"I know that. But I just want you to know that I would completely understand if you didn’t come."

"Thanks, Dana. You’re a doll. But, you’re stuck with me for the next few weeks. So... what’s doin’ around Washington?"

Peter set his bags down next to the door and turned to face his brother, who stood silently behind him.

"Well... I guess I’ll get going."

"Have a safe trip. Call me when you land."

Peter nodded then took a quick breath. "Alex... it’s not too late to change your mind. Come on, kid, I’ve got time to wait. You can throw some stuff in a bag and..."

"Peter, don’t."

"But..."

"Just go. Please."

Peter let out a heavy sigh and picked up his bags.

"If you need anything. If anything happens, and you need to reach me..."

"I’ll be fine. Go on." Alex opened the door and waited for his brother to step into the hall. "Have a good time."

"Not so easy, knowing that you’re here alone."

Alex said nothing. Peter sighed once more and backed up a few steps. "Please take care of yourself."

"I will."

He watched Peter move off down the hall, then he backed into the apartment and shut the door.

The screaming silence hit him with full force, and he lowered his head, resting his chin on his chest as he turned and leaned back against the door. He stood there for several minutes before he found the strength to move, and when he did, it was to shuffle into his bedroom. He made his way slowly over to the CD player and turned it on.

The songs on the new discs were even sweeter and more meaningful than the previous ones, if that was possible, and it genuinely, physically hurt to listen to them. But he couldn’t stop himself from doing it any more than he could stop looking at those pictures. They were painfully exquisite. Whoever the guy was who said that a picture was worth a thousand words had never met Fox Mulder. Each photo spoke volumes to Alex, and inside, he was screaming.

Saving his life. Alex lightly caressed one of the photos. These pictures might be all you’ll ever have of him, but at least you know he’s all right. A few days with him is not worth his life.

Alex picked the picture up and clutched it to his chest as he moved to his bed and sank down to the mattress. He closed his eyes and let the pain take over.

Scully sat across from her partner, watching as he lay quietly, stretched out across his sofa. Biting her bottom lip, she looked down at her watch.

"I uh... I should get going now."

"...Tell Peter I said hello."

"I will." Scully rose and looked down at Fox. "Mulder..."

"It’s okay," Fox rasped. "Don’t worry about me."

"God, Mulder, how can I not?"

Fox gave no answer.

"I’m so sorry he didn’t come."

"...Me too," Fox replied, staring at nothing. "Go on, now. You don’t want to be late picking him up."

"Yeah. Yeah, uh... I’ll call you tomorrow, okay."

"Sure. Have a nice night."

Scully left without another word, shutting the door softly behind her.

Fox lay motionless for quite some time before getting up and shutting all the lights off. He found his way back to the sofa and lay down again. Now enveloped in complete darkness, he let the tears fall.

Peter stood outside of the Smithsonian, his cell phone held to his ear. Scully approached from behind and waited until he closed the phone up and jammed it into his pocket.

"Still no answer?"

"No, and I’m really getting worried."

"Maybe he’s just spending the day brooding."

"Possible. But he’s got to know that if he doesn’t pick up at some point during the day, I’m going to start freaking out."

"Well, it’s only what, there? About eleven?"

"Yeah."

"It’s still early. Let’s give him a few more hours before we start making plane reservations."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"How about lunch? You hungry? There’s a nice little restaurant not far from here."

Peter gave Scully an indulgent smile.

"Okay. Let’s go."

Halfway through lunch, Peter’s phone rang.

"Thank God," he breathed, seeing Alex’s number come up on his caller ID. "Hey, kid. You had me worried."

"Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t feel like answering the phone earlier."

"Alex, you can’t do that. You know it’ll freak me out."

"Sorry."

Another relieved breath.

"So, what’re you up to?"

"Nothing. Pete, I have to go. I’ll call you later."

"What later? Alex, what are you doing that you can’t talk now?"

"I’ll talk to you later."

"Alex..."

"Peter, I’m fine. I have to go."

Peter pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it, then his troubled gaze went to Scully.

"He hung up on me."

The red head cocked to one side. "What d’you think that’s all about?" she asked.

"I don’t know," Peter murmured. "But something tells me I won’t like it."

"Get your fucking ass up."

A voice rumbling in the darkness. Familiar. Dark. Deadly.

Spender sat up in his hotel bed and switched on the lamp beside it. He squinted up into hateful black eyes, and his mouth dropped open in shock. Quickly, he gathered his composure and gave his son a weak smile.

"My goodness. You just got the okay the other day, and already you’re traveling. How thoughtful of you to come and visit me. It might be a bit more pleasant, though, if you take the gun out of my face."

"I’m not here for a visit," Alex hissed, maintaining his Glock’s aim. "I’m here to warn you."

"Warn me? Whatever about?"

"Guess you thought as long as I was incapacitated, you could relax a little, huh?" He shook his head slowly. "Bad move, old man."

The smile waned ever so slightly. "Meaning?"

Alex cocked his head. "Some sensitive information seems to have dropped into my lap. Imagine my surprise when I read about your involvement in several recent high profile disappearances. Not to mention the viral outbreak on a certain cruise ship. And then there are those rigged elections in... how many cities and states? What are you, bored? No more dirty deals to make with aliens, so you need something else to do?"

Spender reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table by the bed.

"So... what’s the warning, as if I couldn’t guess?"

"Same warning I gave you a few weeks ago, only now I’m in a position to do something about it if you don’t heed my advice. Stay away from Mulder, or I’ll make you wish to God you had, before I kill you."

"You are feeling better, aren’t you?"

One gloved finger caressed the trigger. "Much. Want to test me?"

Spender looked from Alex’s face to the gun’s muzzle then back up to his face.

"I know my boy well enough to know when he’s got his mind set on something."

"I’m not your fucking boy. But you had better know me well enough to realize that I’m dead serious about what I’m saying."

"Well, then." The old man put the cigarette into his mouth and reached for his lighter. "I don’t suppose there’s much else to say, is there?"

"There’s nothing else to say."

"I see. Tell me, Alex, will you be in New York long? Maybe we can spend the day together. Take in a Yankees game."

Alex gave Spender a long, icy stare, then he turned and walked out. Spender watched the closed door for several moments, then he lit the cigarette and took a long, thoughtful drag.

A bowl of Lucky Charms and a beer.

Mmmmmmmmm Mm.

Fox sat in front of the TV, stirring the cereal round and round, watching the colored bits of marshmallow turn the milk a sickly shade of gray. He wondered what Alex was doing now... if he was taking care of himself... eating and exercising... he wondered if he’d ever...

The knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts. Sighing heavily, he dragged himself off the sofa.

"Yeah?" he called before he reached the door.

"Mulder, it’s me."

Fox undid the lock and turned the knob, backing up as he opened the door. Scully entered, followed by Peter.

"Hey, Mulder."

"Hey."

"What’re you doing?"

"Having dinner."

Scully looked down at the cereal and grimaced. "Seriously?" she groaned. "Mulder, this is disgusting."

Fox shuffled past the couple and leaned against his desk. "Yeah, well..."

"We came to see if you’d come out to eat with us," Peter said hopefully.

"Thanks. But I’m just going to stay here."

"And do what?" Scully asked. "Eat soggy Lucky Charms and kill a six pack?"

"Maybe."

"Come on, Mulder..."

Dull hazel eyes looked past Scully and into the face of her companion.

"You talk to him today?"

"Yeah. This morning, actually."

"He okay?"

"Yeah, I... I guess."

"You guess?"

"He’s been kind of weird the past few days. I’m sure it’s just because of the situation... you know."

"Yeah. I know."

Peter shifted from one foot to the other. "You sure you won’t come out with us?"

"I’m sure," Fox murmured softly. "Go on. Have a nice dinner."

Scully gave her partner’s hair an affectionate ruffle. "I’ll talk to you tomorrow."

Fox nodded and lowered his eyes to the floor. Scully gave Peter a hopeless look, and the two walked to the door. Peter opened it, and the pair stared in startled silence at the one who stood in the hall. Wide green eyes stared back, went to Fox’s open door for an instant, then went back to the now smiling faces. Peter and Scully crossed into the hall, leaving the door ajar, and Scully motioned for him to enter. Peter patted him on the shoulder, and the two continued on their way.

Slowly, Alex inched toward the threshold then crossed it. Fox immediately came into view. Up against his desk, arms crossed over his chest, head down turned. His heart leapt into his chest then started to beat triple time as soon as Fox realized that he wasn’t alone and lifted his head. Plush lips parted slightly, and Fox stared as if he was afraid that the vision in his doorway would disappear. Alex forced himself to breathe then took two steps forward. He stopped, scared that his shaking legs would give out, and he’d fall flat on his face.

Fox’s expression went from deep shock to cautious joy, and he pushed away from the desk, approaching Alex as if he was afraid to frighten him away. He stopped when they were face to face, and then he lifted a hand and tenderly brushed the other man’s cheek with his knuckles.

Fox’s touch released a hard, shuddering breath from Alex, and before he could inhale, he was being swept into a desperate, deeply passionate kiss. A soft whimper sounded in his throat as his arms came around the older man, and he was pulled into a snug embrace. The kiss went on for a small eternity, and when Fox finally released his mouth, Alex shook violently in his arms.

"You’re shivering," Fox said, holding the younger man to his chest.

Alex nodded. "...Forgot how cold it can still be here in April. Guess I’m not really dressed for it."

"Come on." Fox guided Alex to the sofa and sat him down. He disappeared briefly then returned, carrying a wool blanket. Helping the other man out of his leather jacket, he pulled the blanket around him. "Better?" he asked gently, slowly rubbing his hands over Alex’s back and arms. Alex nodded and looked into sparkling eyes. Fox gave him a hint of a smile.

"You came."

Alex said nothing.

"What made you change your mind?"

"I c... I... I couldn’t..." Alex shuddered. "...Couldn’t stand it."

"Couldn’t stand what?"

"...The pain."

"I know." Fox studied him closely. "Have you been sleeping? Your eyes look dark underneath."

"Haven’t had much rest lately, I guess."

"Because of this?"

Alex shrugged. "Yeah..."

Fox ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair. "That’s not all, is it?"

Alex’s silence was his answer.

"What? Alex, what’s going on? You were terrified that something would happen to me. So much so that you were willing to stay away from me completely, and now you’re here."

"I... made some calls." Alex lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "Called in a few favors. Did a little snooping... found a few things out. Then I paid the old man a visit."

"You... I’ve been looking for that bastard for a couple of weeks; how’d you find him? Where’d you find him?"

"New York. You just have to know what strings to pull. Anyway, uh... I found him... put my gun to his head, told him about the information I found on him, then promised to torture the shit out of him with it before I splattered his brains, if he so much as glanced in your direction."

One corner of Fox’s mouth curved up into an admiring smile, then it dropped, and a look of concern replaced it.

"So, you’ve been running yourself ragged, trying to get something on him?"

"I haven’t been that active for a long time. Took a little bit out of me, I guess."

Fox watched him for a moment. "A little bit... You’re exhausted, aren’t you?"

"A little tired," Alex insisted weakly, only just now realizing how worn out he really was.

"I want you in bed. Now," Fox ordered, trying for all the world to sound firm even though his insides felt like runny oatmeal. "Where’s your bag?"

"Car."

"What’s it doing there?"

Alex’s gaze lowered to the point where their thighs touched. "I didn’t know what was going to happen once I got here. Even if I was going to stay around, I thought I should just get a room at a nearby hotel."

Fox shook his head. "Do you really think I’m going to let you out of my sight?" He held out his hand. "Gimme your keys."

"You going to keep me prisoner?" Alex asked, not at all opposed to the idea.

Fox smirked. "Do I have to? I just want to get your bag."

"I can get it."

"I know you can get it. Give me the keys."

Alex obeyed without argument.

"Where’s the car?"

"West side of the building. Black Altima."

"I’ll be right back." But he sat there for a moment, staring. Alex tilted his head curiously. Curling his hand into a loose fist, Fox drew it up under the younger man’s chin, holding him still for a bone-melting kiss. He pulled back slightly, brushing his nose against Alex’s. "...Be back."

This time he did get up. Alex watched him leave the apartment then closed his eyes and pulled the blanket more tightly around himself as he began to shiver again.

He was here. He made it.

After a night of unbearable misery, he had made the decision to find that despicable old bastard and force him to back down or kill him in the most painful way possible. That it had happened so quickly was a godsend; he didn’t know how long he’d be able to continue at the pace he’d kept up the last few days.

He leaned back, resting his head against the cushion, and closed his eyes. He was so tired. And relieved. And incredibly unsure. What if this was the wrong thing to do? What if it didn’t work out? What if...

"...Alex."

Sable lashes lifted halfway, and Alex sighed. They dropped back over his eyes, and as quickly as that, he was asleep again.

Fox smiled and kissed the younger man’s chin.

"Time for bed."

Alex’s eyes drifted open again, and he made himself sit up. Fox took his hand and pulled gently.

"Come on."

"Where’re we going?"

"You still asleep?" Fox got to his feet, bringing Alex up with him. "Bed."

"Your bed?"

"No, Scully’s."

"Oh."

Chuckling softly, Fox led the other man into his bedroom.

"Let’s get you undressed, then you can..."

That snapped Alex out of the pleasant fog he was in.

"Hmm. No. N-no, I can do it."

"Let me help." Fox pushed the blanket away from Alex’s shoulders and reached for the white t-shirt, but Alex’s hands on his stopped him from pulling it out of his jeans. He studied the uncomfortable expression and quickly put two and two together.

"Do you not want me to see your scar?"

Alex’s eyes lowered. "It’s... awful."

"It’s not that bad," Fox murmured reassuringly. "I saw it for a second that day at your doctor’s office, remember? I’m sure it looked worse then than it does now."

Alex clutched his t-shirt around his neck and dropped his head.

"Okay. Okay, not until you’re ready."

The younger man’s eyes closed, and he swayed slightly. Fox’s arms went around him and guided him down to the bed. Gently, he peeled off Alex’s jeans but left the t-shirt alone. He helped the exhausted man get under the covers, and he sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair.

"Alex? ... Alex."

"Hmm?"

"I want you to answer one question, then you can go to sleep... okay?"

"...’Kay."

"I’d like to stick to that promise I made you on the phone. I’d love to lie beside you and hold you all night. If you’re uncomfortable with that for whatever reason, tell me. It’s okay."

Alex lay in silence for several seconds, then one hand slid cautiously over the comforter and brushed over the older man’s.

"I just..." Alex stopped, his mouth opening and closing. "I’d love that," he whispered.

"But?" Fox asked, caressing the younger man’s cheek. "...Do you think I’ll expect more?"

Alex said nothing.

"I just want to put my arms around you." Fox drew his thumb over Alex’s lower lip. "For now. Okay?"

Alex drew a trembling breath and nodded.

"Close your eyes. I’ll be back in a minute."

Alex watched Fox leave the room, and then he allowed the fact that he was in Fox Mulder’s apartment, lying in his bed, to sink in.

The rush of joy and fear closed his eyes. He pulled the comforter up to his chin, hoping to stop the shudders, but they continued.

"Oh, my God," he whispered, clutching at the soft cotton. "Oh, shit."

Several minutes later, Fox appeared, wearing a t-shirt and loose, knee-length shorts. He stopped by the edge of the bed, looking down into wide eyes.

"You don’t look as sleepy as you did."

"No, I... I guess not."

Fox nodded and averted his gaze for a moment before rounding the bed and getting in on the other side. He shifted carefully onto his side and faced the other man. He reached out, cupping the lightly stubbled cheek and turning Alex’s face to his. His thumb stroked gently over the younger man’s skin, then he pulled him in for a brief but tender kiss. Then, turning onto his back, he gathered Alex into his arms and sighed deeply at the feel of the trembling body resting against his. He kissed the top of the sable head, tucked under his chin.

"You’re still shaking."

"I’m... I’m scared that this isn’t really real," Alex croaked. "...I’m scared that it is."

"It is real. And I’m scared too." Fox tightened his hold on the other man. "But it’s better that we be scared together than apart, don’t you think?"

Alex was quiet for a moment, listening to the steady rhythm of Fox’s heart. Slowly, his arm went around Fox’s waist, and he nestled into the older man’s warmth. Soon enough his trembling stopped, and he fell into a deep sleep. Fox remained awake a while longer, caressing Alex’s back and marveling at the feel of the other man’s body wrapped in his arms. Then he fell into the first real, peaceful sleep he’d had in weeks.

"More juice?"

"No, I’m good, thanks." Peter smiled at the woman sitting across from him. "Thanks for breakfast. It was really good."

"Been a long time since I’ve made a full breakfast," Scully replied, finishing the last of her bacon. "It was nice to cook for someone."

Peter sighed happily. "Have you called Mulder yet this morning?"

"No, I figured I’d wait until you got here."

Peter smirked at his breakfast companion. "Think Alex stayed there?"

"I don’t imagine Mulder would have let him leave. I wonder what made him change his mind about coming."

"I don’t know," Peter answered, "but I couldn’t be happier that he did."

Scully looked down at her watch.

"Five after ten. Think we should call and mind their business, now?"

Peter chuckled softly, reaching for Scully’s cordless phone and handing it to her.

"Sure. Why not?"

Scully punched in Fox’s number and listened as the phone rang only once before it was picked up.

"H’llo?"

"What’re you whispering about? Aww, are you guys still asleep?"

"Alex is."

"So, he did stay."

"I take it you saw him when you left last night."

"Right at your door. What, were you too busy brooding to notice?"

"I guess. And yes, of course, he stayed. You don’t think I’d actually let him go to a hotel, do you?"

"No, I didn’t think you would. How is he?"

"Exhausted."

"What’s he so tired about?"

"Is Peter there?"

"Yeah, he came for breakfast."

"Put your phone on speaker, and I’ll talk to you both."

Scully did what she was asked, and Fox relayed the story that Alex had told him last night.

Peter sat with one hand over his forehead as he listened, and when Fox was through, he breathed heavily.

"And he’s sure that that bastard’ll keep his distance?"

"I don’t think he’d be here if he wasn’t sure."

"True. Okay, then. You must have been shocked to see him, huh?"

"Shocked is an understatement."

"So, he’s still asleep?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he apparently overdid it on his little covert op, and he’s beat. I have no idea how long he’ll sleep."

"I don’t suppose I have to tell you this, but, keep an eye on him, okay? Make sure he’s all right?"

"I’ll take good care of him."

"Okay, well, when he does get up, ask him to call me?"

"Sure. You two have fun, and we’ll talk to you later."

Fox hung up and looked toward the bedroom. Silently, he picked his way across the room and stopped in the doorway. He watched Alex sleep for a moment then advanced slowly into the room. As carefully as he could, he returned to bed and lay down beside the unconscious man. He watched Alex sleep for over an hour before the younger man began to stir.

A soft moan rolled in his throat, and then Alex’s eyes began to flutter. Fox moved closer and lifted a hand to his head. Combing the sable hair back from the sleep-flushed face, he waited. Voluminous lashes lifted, and a hazy, green gaze focused on him.

"Good morning."

Alex stared, trying to get his bearings. Before he could say anything, Fox moved in and laid a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Guess what?" Fox moved from Alex’s nose to his forehead, then his mouth. "I’m sure."

Alex frowned slightly as he tried to decipher Fox’s words. The other man smiled sweetly.

"Do you know that when you do that, you have this cute little crease that forms right here?" Fox asked, touching his index finger to the spot between Alex’s eyebrows. The other man continued to stare curiously.

"Sorry. I got off track. Do you remember what I told you on the phone, the next to the last time we spoke? Remember when I told you that I think that all I needed to do was see you, and I’d be sure about how I felt?"

Alex’s heart began to hammer in his chest. His lips parted slightly, and a light glaze covered his eyes.

"I’ve been lying here for the past hour, watching you sleep. Listening to the things that my heart and my body have been screaming. I have to say it now before I lose my mind... I love you, Alex."

The crease deepened, and one eye welled up. Alex turned on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He blinked furiously, trying to hold back the tear that threatened to spill over.

Fox raised himself up on his elbow and cupped Alex’s cheek.

"Alex? ... What?"

"Pete... Peter asked me if... if... you had told me that y-you... loved me. I told him that it’d never happen."

Fox turned the younger man’s face to his.

"You were wrong."

The tear Alex had tried so hard to fight back escaped and ran down toward the corner of his mouth. Before Fox could brush it away, Alex threw the sheet aside and got out of bed. Fox sat up and watched him move to the window.

"Alex?" He spoke to the younger man’s back. "Say something."

Alex swiped at his cheek and tried to swallow past the huge lump that had formed in his throat. When he gave no answer, Fox rose to his feet and came to stand behind him. Gentle hands rested on his shoulders, and Fox nuzzled the back of his head.

"Tell me what you’re feeling."

Alex shook his head slowly and lowered it.

"Why not?"

"Can’t... I... I can’t."

"You can’t explain it?"

Silence.

"Please, Alex."

"I don’t... I... it just seems so... impossible."

"I know," Fox murmured and turned Alex to face him. "But it’s absolutely true." He brushed his nose against the other man’s. "I love you," he whispered again before claiming a long, possessive kiss. When they parted, he pulled Alex against him, and the two stood clinging to each other.

"W-what do we do now?"

Fox smiled then laughed softly. "I don’t... I don’t know. Never been in love before, remember? I guess we... I don’t know... do what comes naturally?"

Alex sniffed and pressed closer. "What’s that?"

"I don’t know, whatever people who love each other do."

Alex remained quiet, soaking in Fox’s warmth.

"Do you think they have breakfast?"

The sable head lifted.

"What?"

"Do you think people in love have breakfast?"

The frown returned.

"I’m hungry," Fox said, stroking Alex’s back. "You?"

"Guess I hadn’t thought about it, but... yeah. I think I am."

"I’d make you breakfast, but I have no food in the house." He threaded his fingers through Alex’s hair and pulled him into another sweet kiss. "So," he said, releasing the younger man’s mouth, "Let’s go out."

Alex breathed deeply and let it out slowly. He nodded and moved away from Fox. The older man took three steps away then returned. He led Alex back to the bed, coaxing him to lie down then leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Relax until I get back... I love you."

Alex shuddered and curled his fingers in the other man’s shirt. Fox kissed him again.

"You gonna let go?"

Alex gave it a second of thought then shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I might wake up."

"You are awake," Fox reminded him.

"I don’t think I am."

"I’ll pinch you if you think it’ll help."

Alex looked down at his hands and watched them let go of the blue jersey. Fox grinned.

"I’ll be back in a few."

Alex watched Fox move around the room, gathering his clothing. The older man gave him a quick wink and disappeared from the room, leaving Alex alone in his bed. He stretched then rubbed his hands over his face, wiping away all traces of moisture, and he looked around, still not believing that he was actually here. He lay in bed for a while longer then got up and retrieved his bag. He pulled out a few items then zipped the bag and put it in a corner of the room. He laid his clothing and toiletries at the foot of the bed then walked to the window and looked out into the sunlight.

As few as five days ago, the morning had brought only despair. Yesterday morning, he had little more than a fervent wish and senseless hope. Today, he had love.

He closed his eyes as the warmth of that revelation swept over him, saturating every pore.

Mulder loved him.

He drew a hard breath and let it out with a soft sob.

Fox Mulder loved him... it couldn’t last. It... it was new, and it was exciting, and it would not last.

Mulder entered the room, fully dressed, hair still damp from the shower. His presence startled Alex away from the window, and he held a hand out, reaching toward the younger man.

"Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. You were pretty deep in thought."

"Yeah, I... I guess."

"You okay?"

Alex nodded, lowering his gaze.

"...All right. The bathroom’s yours."

Alex nodded again and moved to gather up his things. He dropped the jeans and deodorant back to the mattress and came to stand directly in front of Fox.

"...I love you. I... I hadn’t said that since I got here, and I..." He shrugged. "...I just... wanted to."

"Wow," Fox breathed. "I just got a shiver." He wrapped his arms around the younger man. "Say it again."

Now nose to nose, Alex whispered the words as sweetly as he knew how.

"I love you."

And he wanted Fox to love him. For a month, for a week. If that was as long as it lasted, he’d take it.

This time he initiated the kiss, burying his fingers in the wealth of golden-brown hair at the back of Fox’s head. It was long, and it was passionate, almost desperate, and it shook Fox right to the ends of his hair. When their mouths parted, he dragged in a shaky breath.

"Ohhhh, I like the way you kiss. God, I’m so screwed."

"What d’you mean?" Alex asked, his breath fanning the older man’s mouth.

"I mean, I’ve jumped from wanting you, straight into needing you with a desperation I’ve never felt before in my life."

Alex fixed his gaze on Fox’s mouth as he spoke. He lifted one hand to the older man’s face and traced the outline of his lower lip with the tips of his fingers.

"You’d better get in that shower before I back you up to the bed and not let you up until sometime next week," Fox breathed.

Part of Alex wanted that. A huge part. Screamed for it. But it was too early, he thought. There were things to be done. Words to be said. Stuff to get out of the way before that happened. Fox knew it too, and he was asking Alex, in his way, to find the strength he knew he didn’t have right now, to defuse what could rapidly turn into a very heated situation.

Alex let out a heavy breath and pulled away. Licking anxiously at his lips, he picked up his belongings and headed without another word to the bathroom. Fox stood in the middle of the room, waiting until the younger man was gone, before he tipped his head back and groaned softly. He looked down at the very noticeable bulge that had formed at the front of his jeans and mumbled to it.

"Down, boy. We got a little ways to go, yet."

He gave himself a hard shake and left the room.

"What’d you do, just get up?"

"No, we’re on our way to get something for breakfast."

"More like lunch, now."

"Whatever. You wanted me to call you?"

"Well, yeah. You don’t have to go into any big explanations; Mulder already gave us the four-one-one on what happened. I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you’re here, and see if you guys wanted to have dinner with us."

"What... tonight?"

"Yeah."

Alex looked to Fox then back at the road. "Uh... how about tomorrow? I’m still feeling a little tired, and, you know..."

"Yeah, I know. You want him all to yourself."

"At least for tonight."

"Okay, okay. Well, you guys have a nice breakfast, and I guess we’ll talk tomorrow."

"All right. See you later."

Alex hung up and looked back at Fox, who had kept his eyes on the road, but was smiling.

"You blew him off tonight?"

"Yeah. Was that not nice?"

"Who cares?" Fox reached out and skimmed Alex’s jaw with his fingers. "We get a whole night alone."

Alex returned the smile then looked down at his hands.

"I know they’ll want to drag me around with them when the weekend is over, and you’re at work." He looked back at Fox. "I assume you didn’t take any time off when I said I wasn’t coming."

"Yeah. But I’m going to call Skinner later and tell him I want some time off after all."

"He won’t flip out?"

Fox shrugged. "No. He had already approved the time for Scully and me, when I backed out. I’ll just tell him I’ve changed my mind."

"He’s going to think you’re nuts."

"He already thinks that," Fox smirked. "All the more reason to give me a couple of mental health weeks. You won’t mind being stuck with me for all that time?"

Alex smiled down at his lap.

"I think I can live with that."

"So... your birthday is in a couple of days."

"Mmm hmm."

"You still want to spend it with just me?"

Alex nodded and glanced at Fox.

"That okay?"

"That’s just great with me. How do you think Peter’s going to take it, though?"

"He’ll understand."

Fox reached over, taking Alex’s left hand in his. He lifted it to his lips and dusted the knuckles with a flurry of tiny kisses. Alex watched, mesmerized, his heart pounding, and a definite stirring going on in his jeans. The stirring turned to full on hardening when the full lips parted, and Fox’s tongue inched out to graze his middle and ring fingers.

The small sound coming from the direction of the passenger’s seat turned Fox’s eyes toward the younger man. There was at once a look of longing and distress on Alex’s face that prompted Fox to release his hand and apologize softly.

"Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I’m not," Alex said, shifting in his seat. "Not in the way you think."

Fox waited for an explanation.

Alex turned to his left, slipping his hand back into the other man’s. "I’d say that you had no idea how much I want your touch, but I think you do... I hope you do... I didn’t tell you that at my last appointment, I talked to my doctor about... I asked him if it was safe for... you know..."

Fox didn’t make him say it.

"...And he said I should just listen to my body and not do anything that I felt was too strenuous."

Fox squeezed Alex’s hand lightly. "But?"

Alex shook his head and lowered his eyes. "I... I’ve never... you’ve never... and besides, my... the scar... it’s so ugly."

"Stop stressing over that. I guarantee it’s not as bad as you think," Fox comforted. He caressed Alex’s hand with his thumb. "Will you let me see it later?"

Alex’s gaze went to the road, and he shrugged, unwilling to commit to an answer.

"I won’t push," Fox said, drawing Alex’s hand to his mouth for another kiss. "I can’t force you to trust me. That’s got to come on its own."

"I trust you," Alex promised, sounding almost childlike.

"Not as much as you need to," Fox answered gently, "to know without a doubt that a little scar isn’t going to turn me off."

"It’s ten inches long," Alex whispered, frowning.

"It could be two feet long," Fox said, "and it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to me. And I think you know that. So, what else is there?"

Alex looked down, tracing disjointed designs on his right leg.

"It’s just... it’s such a huge reminder."

"Alex..." Fox squeezed the other man’s hand, "Samantha’s... we can’t feel her presence any more. But part of her is still with us." He let go of Alex’s hand and placed his palm over the younger man’s chest. Sensing Alex’s discomfort, he removed it. "She’s in you. She gave you your life back. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have you now. That’s the reminder. It’s a good reminder."

Alex grasped the hand that now lay in Fox’s lap and lifted it to his lips then held it to his cheek and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he found that they had pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Blinking rapidly, he released Fox’s hand and sat quietly as the other man slipped the car into an open space. Fox put the car in park and shut the motor off, giving Alex a hint of a smile before opening his door and getting out. Alex followed, and the two walked side by side into the half full building. They were seated immediately, and while Alex perused the menu, Fox got out of his seat and slid into the chair right beside him.

"What’re you doing?" Alex asked, looking around the restaurant as Fox rested his cheek against his fist and stared at him.

"Too far away," Fox responded, nodding in the direction of his abandoned chair. "I can’t see your eyes."

Alex glanced from Fox to the empty chair then back again. "Really? You think you should wear your glasses for seeing instead of just for reading?"

"I mean I can’t see the color, wise ass."

"Oh," Alex said, giving him an impish grin. It was good to see.

"You’ve got the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re like..."

"Are you going to start making corny comparisons, Mulder?"

"Yes, I am. Shut up and listen. They’re like lime jello."

Alex stared blankly. "Lime jello."

"I remember as a kid, loving lime jello. Not because of the taste... well, not just because of it. There was something about the color that I really liked. Same with green M & M’s."

"You liked green M & M’s for the same reason all kids liked them. Because of that stupid urban legend about them being an aphrodisiac."

Fox moved in closer, speaking in a confidential tone.

"Didn’t you believe it? Just a little bit?"

Alex leaned toward the other man. "You’re nuts," he whispered.

One corner of Fox’s mouth slanted upward slightly, and he whispered back.

"I know. Love me anyway?"

Alex’s expression went from amused to one of sheer adoration.

"Yeah. Which means I must be nuts too."

The smirk morphed into a conspiratorial smile, and Fox nodded slowly.

"Cool."

Breakfast came, and Fox dug in. Alex ate too, though with less gusto than his companion.

"So..." Fox said after a mouthful of hash browns, "I meant to ask. What was the deal with just the one bag? You can’t have much in it."

"I know. I guess I just didn’t want to lug a bunch of stuff back and forth if I wasn’t staying."

Fox’s head cocked to one side. "Did you really think I wouldn’t want you here?"

Alex lifted one shoulder and let it drop.

"And you call me nuts?"

The younger man gave him a timid smile.

"Well, we gotta get you some more clothes."

"I know. I was thinking about doing some shopping."

"We can go after we eat," Fox offered.

"I wouldn’t put you through that," Alex said quietly. "I can take some time and go myself."

Fox was quiet for a moment then asked, "Would you think it weird if I said that I really would like to go with you?"

"Yeah, um... probably. Why would you want to?"

Fox shrugged. "It’d just be like... I don’t know... normal."

"Normal."

"Yeah. Clothes shopping just seems like a normal, ordinary thing to do. Don’t you think it would be nice to do something normal?"

Alex smiled again. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess... if you really wouldn’t mind."

Fox grinned broadly. "Great. Hey. You need underwear?"

One sable eyebrow quirked. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"No reason."

He knew there was a reason. And he thought he could guess what it was.

"You’re not making me buy any loud underwear, Mulder."

"Loud. Who said anything about loud underwear?"

Alex put the last of his new clothing away in the dresser drawers that Fox had insisted on designating for him for the duration of his stay. He shut the drawer and turned to the smirking man, lounging in the doorway.

"I can’t believe I bought red underwear."

"It’s not screaming red," Fox reasoned. "It’s sort of a muted brick."

"It’s red, Mulder." Alex approached the other man and came to a halt a few inches away. "You’ve got way too much influence over me."

"You think?" Fox reached out, winding an arm around the younger man and pulling him in close. "Let’s test that theory."

Alex submitted to a thorough kiss then closed his eyes as Fox nuzzled the side of his neck. "How do you suggest we do that?"

"We’ll start with an easy one. It really is time now that you stopped calling me Mulder... okay?"

Alex nodded, his whole body humming as Fox’s low, persuasive tone vibrated against his neck.

"See? Easy." Fox took Alex’s hand and led him out of the bedroom and into the living room. He sat on the sofa, pulling the younger man down with him. He kissed the perfectly bowed, sweetly responsive mouth then pulled back to look into Alex’s eyes. "Our first night alone together."

"Actually, our second."

"Yeah, but we went to sleep almost right away. Tonight we can talk and watch TV and..." He ran his fingers through Alex’s hair. "...whatever."

It was the whatever that made Alex’s hands shake. He knew what Fox had said about the scar, and while it was sweet and certainly logical, he couldn’t help the irrational fear that once Fox actually got a good long look at it, he’d feel differently, and this wonderful, unbelievable dream world he was now existing in would shatter into a million pieces.

Fox felt the tension in Alex, and he backed off a bit. "So," he said, clearing his throat softly. "You wanna see what’s on, or do you want to talk?"

Alex dropped his gaze, instantly regretful.

"Mulder, I..."

"Fox."

"S-sorry. Uh... I..." He searched for something to say then gave up finally, looking quietly at Fox’s leg. The older man slipped a hand under his chin and lifted. Their eyes met and held for a long while as Fox’s thumb stroked tenderly over his cheek.

"Don’t be sorry. Nothing really serious happens until you give the high sign... all right?"

Alex opened and closed his mouth several times, and Fox waited patiently for him to find his voice.

"I wish... I could tell you how much I want... I..."

Fox studied the younger man then leaned back against the cushions. Eyes still focused on Alex’s, he let his hand drift downward. His fingers lightly stroked the collar of the black shirt then rested on the opening.

"One button?"

Alex sucked his lower lip into his mouth.

"Just one. We’ll wait until you’re comfortable with that before we go any further. Okay?"

Alex attempted to swallow past the lump in his throat, and he forced himself to nod. Fox waited several seconds, then he slowly undid the button. He heard Alex’s breath catch, and he let his hand drop to his lap. He looked down at the two inches of scar now revealed, and he lifted his gaze to the other man’s face, finding it turned to the side.

"Alex."

The younger man’s eyes remained averted.

"Look at me."

Slowly, Alex looked up at him. He looked away quickly but brought his eyes back to the other man’s face when he realized that what he saw there was not anything resembling revulsion.

"You okay?"

Alex took a long breath and nodded. Fox smiled then and picked up the remote, turning the television on. "Let’s just relax a little while, okay?" He put the remote down by his leg and gently pulled Alex back against him. Alex sat stiffly for a few minutes then relaxed a bit, nestling into Fox’s side. Soon, his head rested on Fox’s shoulder, and Fox closed his eyes, laying his cheek on the silky cushion of the other man’s hair. He felt for the remote then opened his eyes and began to flip through the channels. Settling on something light and amusing, he wrapped an arm around his silent companion, and the two watched the show for at least twenty minutes before Alex’s voice, soft and rough, surprised Fox.

"I’ve been meaning to ask you a question."

"...Yeah?"

"Were you trying to kill me with those pictures?"

Fox frowned and pushed Alex up so that he could see his face.

"What d’you mean?"

"They were..." Alex stopped and emitted an audible breath. "The word hot doesn’t really cover it, but since I can’t come up with anything more adequately descriptive at the moment, I’ll use it."

"God, are you serious?"

"I almost dropped them when I pulled them out of the envelope."

Fox grimaced. "Come on..."

"Are you really that oblivious to how..." He searched for a word. "...gorgeous... you are?"

The older man stared.

Alex’s gaze went to Fox’s mouth, lingering there for a moment, then looked up into his eyes. He continued, his voice taking on a definite husky tone.

"I’ve always thought you were damn sexy."

"...Yeah? Nose and all?"

Alex moved closer until he and Fox were sharing breath.

"I love your nose."

"Wow," Fox breathed. "You really are crazy."

Alex’s lips twitched into a tiny smile before he closed the short distance between them and claimed a teasing kiss. "Yeah, but you love me," he said, repeating Fox’s earlier words. It made Fox chuckle softly.

"Yeah, I do." The soft laugh faded and turned into an amazed sigh. "Damn."

Curiosity crinkled Alex’s features.

Fox slid a hand around to the back of Alex’s head, his fingers anchoring in the sable strands.

"I love you."

Alex’s breath left him in a rush, and all traces of humor went with it.

"Don’t say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you really mean it."

"You think that I don’t?"

"I believe you do," Alex whispered, a trace of pain creeping into his tone. "To a certain degree. But the way you said it just now, it... sounded so permanent."

"Did you think that this wouldn’t last?" Fox asked. "That I’d only love you for a finite amount of time?"

Alex started to say something then bowed his head.

"You’re going to get it, Alex," Fox vowed, tightening his grip on Alex’s hair slightly. "Sooner or later it’s going to sink into this apparently pretty thick skull that I don’t intend to let you go... ever."

"But... I do... I do have to go. In a few weeks, I’ll have to go. And we’ll be apart again. And then what?"

"I don’t know," Fox murmured. "I don’t... you made Spender drop the threats against me with the information you found. Can’t we use that same information to get him to move your doctor out here?" he asked hopefully.

"I... I don’t know. Anything is possible, I suppose, but..." Alex shook his head. "You know as well as I do who it is we’re dealing with. He didn’t fight me the other day because I caught him off guard. That won’t happen again. He’ll retaliate, no doubt." Then he had a horrifying thought. "I’m... I’m not even sure he isn’t plotting something right now." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Shit."

"Nooo, no," Fox said quickly. "Don’t you start thinking like that. We’re going to have three worry-free weeks, you understand?"

"But..."

"But nothing."

Alex heaved an exasperated sigh.

"But Mul..."

"Who?"

"Fox... what if..."

"No what if’s, either."

"Dammit," Alex continued to lament the thought. "Spender doesn’t take defeat well, M... Fox."

"Alex."

"I was so crazy about finding a way to be with you, that I completely overlooked the idea that he’d start planning some payback as soon as I’d left. Oh, God. Oh, shit."

"Alex..."

"He could be..."

"You don’t quit, do you?" Fox broke in, interrupting the other man’s rant. "Shut. Up." To make sure that Alex obeyed, he pulled him into a devastating kiss. Alex fought it for all of five seconds, then he surrendered. A short time after that, he issued a fevered response, curling his fingers tightly in Fox’s hair as a hungry groan rolled in his throat. His cock swelled to life then hardened almost painfully as Fox’s tongue found its way into his mouth, exploring its moist warmth and coaxing him to respond.

Fox emitted a soft, breathy moan as Alex’s tongue met his then withdrew shyly. He pursued gently, stroking Alex’s back, soothing him. Soon, he felt the tentative touch of the younger man’s tongue again on his. He teased it into bolder action, and then they were kissing with a passion that shook both to the soles of their shoes. The fact that one television show ended and another began went unnoticed, and somehow the men ended up lying on the sofa, Alex on his back, with Fox on his side, leaning over the younger man. Gentle fingers traced the contours of Alex’s face. Green eyes flecked with gold and blue followed the journey then came to rest on the other’s heavy gaze, seeing deep need at war with resurfaced fear and the feeling of unworthiness he’d suspected had never left. He fed the need, grazing Alex’s mouth with his own before delicately licking at it, asking for admittance. Alex opened to him with a soft whimper, and he swept inside. As the younger man’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him in closer, Fox draped a leg over his thighs, and he felt Alex’s body rise slightly then sink back to the cushions. He drew back, fixing an adoring gaze on the younger man.

"What is it, baby?"

A hard, shuddering breath pushed past Alex’s lips, and he closed his eyes.

"Is it okay if I call you baby?"

Alex firmed his quivering lip, and he opened his eyes. A small sound clicked in his throat, then he went silent. Fox understood. He moved in again, brushing his mouth over Alex’s, taking his time. His hand began to move, touching, stroking, wanting to know all he could of Alex. It traveled the lean frame, leaving a trail of warmth wherever it touched. Alex felt it even through his clothes, and an involuntary sob vibrated in Fox’s mouth, and the younger man writhed against him.

"You’re gonna drive me crazy," Fox panted against Alex’s lips as he pushed his crotch into the other man’s hip. The hardness he felt there spoke to Alex, promising much. Nights of bliss such as he would never have dared to imagine... sweet desire... endless, fiery lust. It was within his grasp. All he had to do was relax and let it happen. Fox pushed against him again, the older man’s hand moving dangerously close to the bulge in his jeans. He moaned softly, shifting his hips so that contact was made, and Fox took it from there, gently rubbing and kneading him through the coarse denim.

Fox’s erection throbbed, begging for release as Alex arched and writhed against his hand. He pressed himself more tightly to the younger man’s hip, grinding gently, and he again took possession of his mouth, drinking in every sound of pleasure.

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. There was no way on God’s green earth, or in hell’s blazes, for that matter, that he could be lying stretched out on Fox Mulder’s sofa, with aforementioned man’s tongue in his mouth and hand rubbing his cock through his pants.

The increased movement against his hip and the vibration of a deep groan on his lips proved him wrong. Slowly, one hand found its way up Fox’s arm to his shoulder then into his hair, clenching tightly in the golden-brown strands. What breath he had left came through his nose in increasingly harsh bursts, and he pushed impatiently against Fox’s hand. Fox got the message, stroking faster, squeezing harder, and less than a minute later, Alex reached his flash point, jerking spasmodically. The choking gasps of his completion sent Fox over the edge, and he bucked hard against the younger man, growling softly as he came. When his muscles stopped seizing, he relaxed beside Alex, panting heavily. It was some time before their eyes met. When they did, Alex let out a soft, breathy laugh and lowered his gaze.

"What?" Fox asked, coaxing the other to look at him.

"Sorry," Alex whispered the again averted his eyes. "I... God, I feel like a fifteen year old."

"You talking about our lack of uh... control?"

Alex nodded.

"It isn’t exactly the way I would have planned for things to go," Fox explained, "but it’s apparently very easy to get carried away." He smiled down at Alex. "Besides, I kind of like acting like a fifteen year old."

Alex’s lashes lifted, and he stared up into adoring eyes. Fox stared back, sensing that Alex wanted to say something.

"What, baby?"

A shudder passed through Alex’s body at hearing the endearment for the second time. He reached up, letting his fingers trace the curve of Fox’s cheek. "I love you," he mouthed more than spoke, and Fox took a deep breath.

"I know," he said on the exhale.

"How do you know?" Alex asked, suddenly sad. "Alex Krycek tells you he loves you. How do you believe that?"

"It’s all over your face," Fox answered. "It’s in your eyes. I know it’s true."

"I’ve always been able to make you trust me."

Fox rested his cheek in his hand. "Yeah," he sighed.

"And I’ve always hurt you."

"Is that your intention now?"

"No."

"I wish you could hear yourself. The emotion in your voice just now. If you could hear it... really hear it, you wouldn’t ask me how it is I can believe you."

Silence followed for several minutes, then Alex pulled Fox down into a tender kiss that left them both wanting much more.

"We should probably go get cleaned up," Fox breathed, pulling away from Alex’s mouth, but staying nose to nose, "before our underwear starts sticking to us."

Eyes closed, Alex nodded. Fox kissed him once more then reluctantly lifted himself from the sofa. Alex opened his eyes and watched as the other man walked out of the room. He lay there a while longer, his fingers going to the opening of his shirt. He traced the exposed part of his scar then took a deep breath and sat up.

He thought back to the events of a short time ago, and he shuddered as his body remembered too.

He continued to stroke the scar.

He got up and walked to the closet in the hall, opening the door and looking at himself in the full length mirror that hung on the inside.

Undoing the second button and studying his reflection again, his optimism began to waver.

One more button, and he’d convinced himself that Fox would be absolutely repulsed if he saw any more than he already had, and what was more, there was no way in hell that he wouldn’t be reminded of the fact that it was his dead sister’s heart beating under the hideous line of deformed tissue.

An overwhelming sadness gripped him, and he looked away, clutching the shirt around his neck. Shutting the door, he returned to the sofa and dropped heavily to the cushion. He sat quietly until Fox emerged from the bathroom, wearing loose, heather gray shorts and a stretched out tank. The neck hung low on his chest, revealing the smattering of golden-brown hairs there, and when he leaned over the still man, Alex could see the shadowed planes of his chest and abs.

"You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah. Uh... y-yeah. I’m okay."

Concern continued to furrow Fox’s brow.

"You don’t look okay." His eyes went to Alex’s hand, still clenched around the collar of his shirt. He paused for a moment then backed away. "You want to..." He motioned awkwardly to the bathroom. "...You gonna get cleaned up?"

Alex took a stuttering breath then rose to his feet and shuffled out of the room. Fox watched him leave then ran a hand through his still damp hair and took his place on the couch. He tried not to think as he flipped through channel after channel, and when Alex appeared in the room more than half an hour later, he gave the younger man a tentative smile and watched him take a seat several inches away. He continued to change channels, going through at least twenty before dropping his hand to the sofa. He sighed softly and turned toward his silent companion.

"Alex?"

Alex feigned interest in the program that Fox had stopped on.

"Hmm?"

"Tell me what’s wrong. One minute we’re acting like a couple of horny kids, and the next, the air is heavier than a wet blanket. What happened?"

Alex turned anguish-filled eyes up to the other man.

"I don’t... I keep thinking that this might end up being a mistake."

Fox reached out, circling Alex’s bicep, and he pulled him in close.

"Get that thought out of your head," he replied in a tone that said he expected no less than total obedience. His gaze burned into Alex’s, compelling the other man to look nowhere else. He let a good long while pass before he made a move. When he did, it was to curl his fingers into Alex’s hair and pull him in for a deep, demanding kiss. Alex answered with a soft, mewling sob, and he leaned into the older man, feeling himself immediately wrapped in a strong embrace. Fox broke the kiss when he was damn good and ready. When he did, he again made Alex look at him.

"Understood?"

Alex lowered his eyes and nodded.

"Hey," Fox called softly, tapping Alex under his chin. The younger man looked up and waited.

"I love you," Fox murmured, putting a wealth of feeling into the words, "and I will not let you go." He brushed his cheek against Alex’s and whispered silkily in his ear. "You don’t want me to let you go... do you?"

Sable lashes dropped down over nearly black eyes, and Alex shook his head. "...But what we want isn’t always what’s best."

"True," Fox answered. "I happen to think that this is absolutely what’s best for us both, but I don’t particularly give a shit if it isn’t. You’re mine now, and I’m not giving you up. I can’t. I’d sooner stop breathing."

"Don’t say that," Alex pleaded, his anxiety beginning to build again.

"Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words," Fox replied, "but I’m trying to get a point across."

Alex closed his eyes, emitting a long sigh, and he laid his head on Fox’s shoulder.

"I know what you’re trying to say, it’s just... Fox, if anything happened to you, I’d..."

"You said my name."

"What?"

Fox smiled, relaxing into the corner of the sofa, pulling Alex with him.

"I didn’t have to correct you or anything. You know, I never thought I’d like hearing anyone say my first name. But when you said it just now, it seemed so natural. So... I don’t know... right."

Alex lay against Fox’s chest, resting his hand on the older man’s arm.

"It felt right. So right, it scares the hell out of me."

"Why would that scare you?"

"Nothing good lasts," Alex explained simply.

"This is going to last," Fox promised. "Because we both want it to."

"We might not have a say in it."

"We’re the only ones who have any say in it," Fox said, squeezing the man in his arms to emphasize his words. "Now, can we please stop this and get back to enjoying our first full night together... bask in our first adolescent type make out session... maybe have another?"

The leering suggestion drew a laugh from Alex.

"Didn’t we just get cleaned up?"

"Yeah. What’s your point?"

"Guess I don’t have one." Alex lifted his head and looked into smiling eyes. "You really have got way too much influence over me," he sighed, moving his hand from Fox’s arm to his chest. "Loving you is as dangerous a thing as I’ve ever done."

"Yeah?" Fox purred, threading his fingers through Alex’s hair and pulling him closer. "Awesome." The kiss that followed shook Alex to his core, and he was hard again before Fox released his mouth. Moaning softly, he shifted to relieve the pressure in his jeans, and he silently cursed himself for not putting on something more comfortable after he’d come out of the shower. Fox’s teeth nipping gently at his chin brought his full attention back to the other man.

"Rough," Fox breathed, dusting Alex’s stubbled jaw with his lips. "I like the way it feels on my skin."

Alex shuddered at his words.

"And it turns me on." Fox worked his way up to the younger man’s ear and delicately teased the outside curve with his tongue. "Touch me, Alex," he moaned seductively. "I need you to touch me."

Alex focused a limp-lidded stare on him for several seconds before the younger man’s hand wandered over his shoulder, caressing down his arm then moved tentatively to his chest. His gaze fell away from Fox’s then, watching his hand stroke reverently through the golden-brown hair that was visible above the low-hanging neck of his shirt. The disturbed strands glistened in the spare light, mesmerizing Alex for more than a minute. When he finally glanced up, he found himself the subject of a heated green and amber stare. His eyes fell away quickly, and Fox, ever curious even through a thick haze of desire, had to know why.

"What is it, baby?" he whispered, tenderly stroking Alex’s cheek. He waited patiently, watching the pink flash of tongue over the other man’s lips before he opened his mouth to speak.

"That look..." He stopped and cleared his throat then lifted his eyes to the other man’s. "The look in your eyes... it’s so intense. I guess it’s just a little, um... overwhelming."

"Sorry. I promise I won’t jump you or anything."

Alex lowered his head, shaking it slightly then looked back up at Fox. Now it was his voice taking on a low, seductive tone, sounding very much like the Alex Krycek that he used to know.

"Don’t make me any promises."

Fox’s breath left him in a stuttering rush as Alex’s hand began to move again, traveling down his tightening abs then underneath the hem of his shirt. His head dropped back against the cushion, and a low moan escaped him as Alex’s fingers traced a burning trail over his already warm skin. He felt the younger man shift, and then his other hand joined the first, doubling the pleasure.

Up and down, Alex caressed, his hands making gentle, sweeping circles over Fox’s chest abdomen. On the next pass, he deliberately let his fingers skim lightly over the other man’s nipples, and the lush mouth fell open on a tortured gasp. Fox’s hips lifted slightly then lowered slowly to the seat cushion, and his ribs expanded broadly as he dragged air into his lungs. As Alex lifted the shirt, he forced out the breath only to take another in sharply when he felt the younger man’s mouth touch the center of his chest. His cock began to throb, rising noticeably against the loose material of his shorts.

Not noticing such an impressive exhibition of desire would have been completely impossible, even in his peripheral vision. Alex fought the very strong urge to touch it, though he knew with all certainty that Fox would have approved. Instead, he concentrated on what he was doing at present. Gently, he pulled Fox’s shirt up further, getting immediate assistance in removing it, and he let it drop down beside the other man. The two stared at each other for a number of seconds then Alex moved in for a teasing kiss. Before Fox could insist on more, he dragged his mouth away, kissing the older man’s chin then his neck. His tongue slithered out, grazing its length then found the curve of his shoulder. Fox bucked once, a coarse moan rolling in his throat as Alex sucked at the flesh. The pressure wasn’t intense but hard enough to leave a mark and definitely hard enough to drive Fox into a mild frenzy. When he was sure that Fox had been sufficiently branded, he moved on.

"Alex," he panted softly "Mmm, God... baby... aaaaaah, damn..."

Every part of Alex throbbed with joy, with astonishment... with utter disbelief. If anyone had told him that he would someday be Fox Mulder’s... what? Lover? Boyfriend? Shit... life partner? Okay, get a grip. ...he would have shot them, laughed, then shot them again for daring to give him even the tiniest shred of hope that something so absolutely crazy, insanely extraordinary as that would be at all possible. Yet here he was, on the man’s couch, mouth wandering over his bare chest, learning the taste of his skin... stroking his tongue lovingly over one brown nipple, feeling it harden for him.

Holy Christ, if this didn’t kill him, nothing would. But if this was the way he was going to die, hell, it’d be a damn sight better than any other way he could have thought of. And so he continued, sucking the nipple into his mouth and flicking lightly at it with the tip of his tongue.

Fox’s head snapped back, and he sobbed Alex’s name as his fingers tangled in the other man’s hair.

"Alex... Jesus, I... can’t... can’t... feel like I’m gonna..."

The long ring of the door bell snapped both men back to reality, and Fox drew a deep breath and let it out loudly, cursing as he did.

Alex bowed his head and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to compose himself. "Who d’you think that is?" he asked weakly, lifting his head.

"Gotta be your brother and my dead partner," Fox half panted, half growled. "Nobody else really comes here."

"Mulllderrr."

The muffled voice on the other side of the door confirmed his guess.

"Why don’t you go put something on, and I’ll get it," Alex suggested.

Fox grabbed his shirt and dropped it down over his head. "I am wearing something."

"Yeah, but..." Alex looked pointedly at the prominent bulge at the front of Fox’s shorts. The older man looked down at himself then disappeared grumbling into the bedroom. Alex sighed heavily, raked his fingers through his hair again, and walked to the door. Taking a cleansing breath, he turned the knob and swung the door open.

"’Bout time." Scully entered, followed by Peter, who was carrying a plastic bag. She looked around the apartment then at Alex, who was currently glaring at his brother. "Where’s Mulder?"

"He’s uh..." Alex turned his attention to the woman. "He’ll be right..."

"You look a little flushed, kiddo," Peter interrupted, smirking. "You okay?"

Alex cut his eyes in his brother’s direction. "Fine."

Before anyone could say anything else, Fox emerged from the bedroom, wearing the same tank but was now dressed in jeans. He had the same flushed, disheveled look that Alex wore, and one corner of Scully’s mouth slanted up in a sardonic grin.

"What’re you boys up to this evening?"

"Nothing at the moment," Fox said, casting a venomous stare in his partner’s direction. "What are you doing here?"

"Tie it in a knot for a couple of minutes, Mulder; we promise we won’t stay long. We just came from dinner at Issac’s, and we brought you a doggie bag in case, you know, you were too busy to cook."

"Thanks." Fox took the offered bag from Peter. "That was nice of you. I’ll go put it in the kitchen."

"I’ll help you." Scully said, following in Fox’s wake.

"You need to help me put a bag in the refrigerator?"

"Yeah." Scully gave him a shove into the other room and smiled at the remaining men. "We’ll be back in a few minutes."

Peter chuckled softly then looked to his brother, eyes sparkling with more than one kind of joy.

"Everything going all right?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. Is that all I’m going to get out of you?"

"You don’t expect me to give you details, do you?"

"I don’t want you to get graphic, no. But give me a little more than just yeah. Is being with him everything you’d imagined?" He cupped the back of Alex’s neck with one hand. "Are you happy, kid?"

He knew the answer. It was there in the unmistakable shine that had come into Alex’s eyes.

"He loves me, Pete."

The other man grinned broadly. "Of course he does, you idiot. Haven’t I told you that?"

Alex lowered his head, smiling softly.

"But you had to hear it from him, right?"

"It does sound a lot nicer coming out of his mouth, yeah."

Peter rolled his eyes, still grinning. When Alex lifted his head, there was something else in his eyes that made Peter’s smile fade a bit.

"What is it?"

"This is too good, Pete. It’s too good to be real."

"No, it isn’t, Alex. It’s as real as real can get. Mulder loves you, you love him, and that’s that. Nothing’s going to screw it up. Not if you don’t let it."

"You sound just like him."

"Listen to us. We’re right, and you’re wrong."

"I want to be wrong. I don’t think you have any idea how much I want to be wrong."

"You are wrong. Now, go back to..." Peter gave him an exaggerated grimace. "...whatever it was you were doing, and Dana and I will get out of your hair." He turned his head in the direction of the kitchen and called to Scully. "Dana? Ready to go?"

"In a minute!"

In the kitchen, Scully leaned up against the counter, arms folded over her chest.

"Come on, Mulder; what’s the big deal?" She looked directly at the mark on his shoulder. "You’ve obviously been doing something. So, just answer the question. Have you or haven’t you?"

"I don’t see how this is any of your business. Okay... okay... have you?"

"Please. First night he got here. See? Easy. Your turn."

"Scully..."

"Listen, Mulder, I don’t have any girlfriends thanks to you."

"Thanks to me."

"...So, you have to be my girlfriend. And girlfriends tell each other everything. Now..."

"God, you’re a pain. No. Okay? No, not yet."

"What the hell are you waiting for?"

"For him to be comfortable."

"Comfortable, Mulder? He’s sucking on your neck."

"Shhhh!" Fox looked to the door then back at his partner. "He’s not comfortable with his scar."

Scully’s eyebrows lifted.

"Ohhhh. Really. I don’t think I ever would have imagined Alex to be the self-conscious type."

"He thinks I’m going to run screaming into the street because it’s so hideous, and he thinks it’s way too much of a reminder of the fact that he’s got Samantha’s heart."

"What are your thoughts on that?"

"I told him my thoughts. I think it’s going to take a little more than just words to convince him, though."

"You up to it?"

Fox gave Scully a lopsided grin. "I was up to it when you and your boyfriend barged in. Now, why don’t you get the hell out so I can continue to convince him?"

"Brother. All right, we’re going." Scully turned and left the kitchen, Fox following behind her. She moved to Peter’s side as Fox came up behind Alex and slipped his arms around the other man. Alex looked down as Fox kissed the side of his neck.

"Thanks again for the food, Peter. We already ate, but we may be hungry again in a while."

Peter’s gaze went from Fox to his clearly flustered brother then back to Fox. "Don’t mention it. We’re going to get going now and leave you kids to your... whatever." He guided Scully to the door and held it open for her. "Don’t forget we’re going to dinner tomorrow."

"What time do you want to go?" Fox asked, releasing Alex to walk to the door. Alex followed slowly, stopping two steps behind the older man.

Peter shrugged and looked to Scully. "I don’t know... sixish?"

"Sounds good," the redhead nodded. "That okay with you guys?"

Fox turned to check with Alex. "That good, baby?"

Peter’s eyebrows arched almost into his hairline.

Alex nodded. "Yeah. That’s good."

"Okay, I guess we’ve got a date. See you tomorrow."

Peter and Scully started down the hall, waiting until they heard the click of Fox’s door to turn surprised gazes to each other. Soft, but highly amused, their voices sounded in unison in the deserted hall.

"Baby?"

Inside the apartment, Fox took Alex’s hand and led him back to the sofa. Standing in front of it, he pulled the younger man into his arms and nuzzled his neck.

"So... where were we?"

Alex’s eyes rolled upward, and his lashes came down over them.

"Fox..."

While he loved hearing Alex say his name, Fox didn’t think he particularly cared for the tone he’d used just now.

"What’s wrong, Alex? Did you and Peter talk about something that upset you?"

"No, not really."

"Then, what is it?"

"...I don’t know."

Fox tilted his head to the side. "You sure about that?"

Alex stared down at the middle of Fox’s chest and said nothing. Fox rubbed the younger man’s arms soothingly and spoke softly to him.

"Wanna see what they brought us to eat? Smelled good."

Alex blinked twice before looking up into patient eyes.

"I’m sorry, Fox. I’m... I don’t know what..."

"Don’t apologize. I told you that nothing would happen that you didn’t want to happen, and I mean it."

Alex’s expression turned from remorseful to anxious.

"No. No, I... please don’t think that I don’t want... I don’t... God, you know that I do..." He sighed heavily and fell into a brooding silence. Fox pulled him close, wrapping him in a snug embrace.

"Don’t be upset. It’s okay." He rocked Alex gently from side to side. "It’s fine, really." He smiled into the other man’s hair. "I’ll just kill Scully and Peter tomorrow."

Alex buried his face in the side of Fox’s neck, and he hugged him tightly. "You’ve been so understanding," he murmured. "So damn patient."

"Patient. You’ve only been here a day," Fox chuckled.

"I don’t mean just since I’ve been here. I mean... through all of it."

"I love you," Fox explained simply.

"You didn’t know that until just a few hours ago," Alex argued softly.

"I didn’t say it until just a few hours ago," Fox corrected. "...I think I’ve known it for quite some time. I just didn’t know that I knew it."

Alex stared quietly.

"And besides," Fox continued. "We’ve got plenty of time."

"No, we don’t," Alex whispered, the reality of what he’d just said, hitting him hard. "We really don’t."

"We have to work on that. Figure out what we’re going to do."

"I don’t know what we can do."

Fox sighed. "Well... ideally, I’d like to stay based here in D.C. and have you with me, but if there’s no way to do that, then I’ll have to see about transferring to New Mexico."

"No. No, Jesus, Fox. I can’t turn your whole life upside down."

Fox pulled Alex far enough away that the younger man could read the adoration in his eyes.

"You’ve already done that."

Alex looked down for a moment then back up at the other man.

"Your work is here."

"My work can be anywhere I need it to be. My life is only where you are."

Alex’s heart skipped a beat, and his breath caught in his throat.

"Don’t say things like that."

"Why not?"

"You can’t start thinking that way."

"Start." Fox looked at Alex like he had six heads. "I’m not wading around the kiddie pool, Alex. I’ve plunged head first into the very deep end of the ocean, and there’s no way out, not that I’m looking for one."

Alex opened his mouth, but before any sound could come out, Fox cut him off.

"And don’t you tell me that I should be."

Alex closed his mouth and lowered his head. Fox dropped several kisses into his hair then gently pushed his head down to his shoulder.

"We’re going to be together," the older man said, letting his hand drift up and down the length of Alex’s back. Nothing can get in our way if we don’t let it." He rested his head against the other man’s. "I love you... that’s such an amazing thing to hear myself say."

"No more amazing than it is to hear you say it," Alex murmured.

"What’s happened to us is nothing short of miraculous. As impossible as it is to understand or believe sometimes, I don’t think that anything happens without a reason. We’re supposed to be together, Alex. The universe wants it that way."

"...The universe, huh?"

Fox nodded, smiling.

"That’s pretty big," Alex said.

"Huge," Fox replied. "So... who are we to argue?"

Alex finally began to smile, and he shook his head.

"I’m in love with a lunatic."

"Can the lunatic make a request?"

Alex cocked his head curiously.

Fox brushed his nose against the other man’s. "Kiss me," he whispered.

He wished Fox wouldn’t speak to him in that tone. It destroyed his will and completely decimated any good sense, leaving only those dangerous feelings; the ones he couldn’t seem to control no matter how much he told himself that he needed to.

Sable lashes drifted shut, and Alex’s mouth parted as he obeyed the sweet command. Fox’s low moan of pleasure vibrated against his lips and went straight down through the center of him. His fingers threaded through the older man’s hair, and he pulled away just long enough to tilt his head in the other direction and claim a deeper, hungrier kiss.

Fox submitted joyfully to Alex’s display of passion. Opened willingly at the first, slightest touch of his tongue, and when Alex backed him up to the sofa, he fell onto it, assuming a wanton sprawl, readily bearing the weight of the younger man’s body.

Alex writhed slowly against Fox, committing the taste and texture of the inside of his mouth to memory. One hand found its way under the older man’s shirt and began to pull it up, only getting it half way off before Fox’s cell phone rang.

"Ignore it," Fox hissed, trying to pull Alex back to him as the younger man reached for his phone.

"But what if it’s important?" Alex asked, looking at the display then showing it to Fox. "It’s Skinner."

"Shhhit." Fox took the phone and yanked it up to his ear. "Mulder... yeah. Yeah, I did... about noon time... uh-huh. Yeah... no, nothing pressing... what? What would we be up to? We’ve just decided that we’re going to use up some of the time we’ve saved up over the years... okay. All right. Thanks. Yeah, you too."

"He thinks you’re up to something?" Alex asked, taking the phone and putting it back on the table

"He’s just a little freaked out by the fact that Scully and I have taken so much time off lately. I guess he’s finding it sort of hard to believe that we haven’t got something cooking."

"If he only knew," Alex mused softly.

Fox chuckled and stroked his hands over the younger man’s rear. "So, now I’m officially on vacation." He gave Alex a lecherous smirk. "Let’s celebrate."

Alex returned the smile and came in for a long, promising kiss, earning a rough, breathless moan from the other man He rocked gently against Fox, ratcheting the renewed heat up another notch. One hand crept into the waistband of Alex’s jeans, and Fox squeezed gently.

"My hand is on your ass," Fox murmured, smirking against Alex’s mouth, and the younger man emitted a breathy, soft laugh.

"Amazing, huh?"

"Little bit, yeah." He squeezed again, a bit harder. "Also amazing... I’m lying under Alex Krycek, squeezing his ass and wishing with everything I have in me that he’d rip all my clothes off."

"Is that supposed to be a hint?"

"Umm... uh-huh."

"Not very subtle."

"Subtlety was never one of my strengths."

Alex sucked Fox’s lower lip into his mouth and pulled gently with his teeth. "Guess I can live with it," he said, smoothing Fox’s shirt up his chest then pulling it over his head. Dropping it on the floor, he pulled himself into a sitting position and reached for the top button of Fox’s jeans. He pulled and the button gave, and their eyes met while Alex caressed the small area of newly exposed skin.

"You trying to tease me?" Fox asked, slowly lifting his hips.

Still holding Fox’s gaze, Alex shook his head.

"It’s just... this is so incredible... that you want this... from me."

Fox stared, his eyes full of intense emotion as his hand inched beneath Alex’s, and he took hold of his zipper, pulling it down. He pushed the edges of his jeans aside and took Alex’s hand in his. He paused for a moment then guided the hand to the opening. All of thirty seconds passed before Alex proceeded on his own, slipping his hand inside and haltingly stroking his fingers over the velvety surface of the older man’s cock. He watched golden-brown lashes flutter and close, and he heard the soft, stuttering intake of breath.

This couldn’t be real. He was touching... fuck... not just another man’s cock, but Fox Mulder’s. The most unreachable of his desires was here, lying beneath him, panting and moaning as he stroked him. His hand burrowed farther beneath the denim and closed around the rigid shaft, and Fox bit back a hard grunt. Amber-splashed eyes opened a fraction and stared for a moment, unfocused, then Fox blinked once and looked up into Alex’s face.

"Don’t think I’m gonna live through this," he breathed, "but shit, what a way to go."

Alex tightened his grip slightly and pulled, drawing a soft cry from Fox. He repeated the action, and the older man bucked into his fist.

A heady realization struck Alex just then, and his body trembled with it. As much power as Fox had over him, he held just as much over Fox. With nothing more than the touch of his hand, he was going to make him come. Fox Mulder was going to come for him... again.

Fox’s chest heaved with increasingly labored breaths. He was on the edge. Ready to fall. Just a few more strokes. Just a few more...

A loud, insistent knocking started at the door, and both men jumped at the sound. Alex’s hand stopped, and his grip loosened as he looked from the door to the tormented man lying under him.

"Are you fucking shittin’ me?" Fox half growled, half gasped. "She’s dead," he threatened. "This time I’m going to kill her."

"Mulder! Come on, open the door!"

Alex frowned down at the older man. "That’s not Scully," he whispered. "Or Peter."

"That’s Langly," Fox answered, perplexed. "What the hell is... They rarely come here, and even more seldom do they show up without calling."

"Mulder! We know you’re in there!"

"Must be important." Alex removed his hand and got to his feet. He could see the disappointment and frustration in Fox’s face, and he thought that if the other man was feeling it as keenly as it appeared, he must be suffering horribly. He knew he sure as shit wasn’t enjoying it at all.

Whining, Fox reached for his hand and tried to tug him back down. At the same time, he turned his eyes to the door and yelled in its direction.

"Go away!"

"Go... Come on, Mulder, quit screwing around! This is a matter of life or death!"

"Everything with them is a matter of life or death," Fox explained, still very ruffled.

"Mulder, open the door before somebody sees us out here!"

"You’d better get it," Alex sighed. "I’ll just go into the bedroom and wait."

"I’ll let them in," Fox huffed, getting to his feet and putting his shirt back on. "But I’m not hiding you. You stay put." He zipped his jeans and stalked to the door just as another insistent knock sounded.

The trio of men jumped back as the door was thrown open, and a wild-eyed Fox glared out at them.

"What the hell’s so important?"

"What’s your problem?" Frohike asked as he and his cohorts skulked into the room. They stopped dead in their tracks as Alex came into view.

"Shit," Langly whispered. "How’d they find out so quick?"

"Would you guys mind telling me what the hell’s going on?" Fox growled, coming to stand beside Alex.

Looking utterly confused, the others stood in silence for several seconds before Frohike started firing questions at Fox.

"Mulder... what the hell is this? What’s he doing here? And since he’s here, why isn’t he down on the floor with a bloody lip and your gun in his face?"

Fox lifted his hand to the small of Alex’s back. "He’s here because I want him to be."

"Whaa?"

"It’s a really long story, guys," Fox sighed, "one I’ll tell you all about if you really want to know, but not now, okay? Tell me why you came."

Langly glanced uneasily from one man to the other then looked to Byers, who had yet to say a word. He nudged the bearded man then, glaring at him, nodded in Fox’s direction.

"We uh... happened across some sensitive information, and... Mulder... can we talk alone?"

Alex turned to Fox, laying a hand on the older man’s arm. It didn’t go unnoticed by the others.

"You can understand why they wouldn’t want to talk in front of me," he said softly. "It’s no big deal if I disappear for a while."

Fox glanced at the confounded men then looked back at Alex, taking a step closer. "Okay," he said, his mouth just a breath away from the younger man. "I’ll get rid of them as soon as I can."

Alex gave Fox an understanding smile and passed into the bedroom with Fox’s visitors staring slack-jawed in his wake.

"Okay. Now, what’s so damned important?"

"Mulder," Frohike gasped, gawking at Fox. "What the hell?!"

"I got no time for this, Frohike," Fox warned. "Tell me what’s going on or take off."

"Fine." Frohike looked to the bedroom door then back at Fox. "Fine." He spoke in a barely audible tone. "Jeremiah Smith is still here."

"Jeremiah Smith."

"Yeah."

"How did you... they’re supposed to be all gone."

"Not all, apparently. He’s posing as a park ranger at Joshua Tree National."

"California?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know this?"

"There was an attack in the park. Some camper got torn up pretty good by an animal."

"What kind of animal?"

"They don’t know yet. Anyway, there was a lot of confusion at the scene, people everywhere. He’s only in the shot for about five seconds, but we took a still, cleaned it up... it’s him, Mulder."

"Where’d you get this video?"

"We record all the news programs and scan them later," Byers offered.

"You boys need a hobby."

"No time for hobbies. Anyway, this clip is from the eleven o’clock report on channel thirteen, two nights ago." Byers reached into his jacket and pulled an envelope out of the inside pocket. He handed it to Fox and glanced again in the direction of the bedroom. As Fox pulled the picture out, Frohike asked a question.

"Mulder... we’re not sure what’s going on here, but... we all know who his boss is..." He nodded in the direction of the bedroom. "What if they know that Smith hasn’t gone, and they’re trying to find out if you’ve had any contact with him? Your life could be in danger."

One corner of Fox’s mouth twitched into a smile. "I’m not in any danger. And yes, this really does look like Jeremiah Smith. I wonder why he stayed behind."

"Don’t know, but it would seem that he’s not going out of his way to make anyone aware of it."

Holding on to the corner of the picture, Fox wiggled it back and forth a few times, thinking. Then he called out to the man in his bedroom.

"Alex?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Jesus, Mulder!"

"No, no! Don’t call him!"

Alex moved hesitantly into the doorway. "...Yeah?"

"Come here, would you?"

Alex looked from the men, who had gone absolutely white, to Fox, who gave him a comforting smile and held out his hand.

Frohike looked as though he was going to fall over as he watched Alex take the other man’s hand and move to his side.

"Look at this."

Alex took the picture, studied it for all of five seconds before his head snapped around, and he gave Fox a wide-eyed stare.

"Where’d this come from?"

"The guys got it off of a news program the other night. You know who he is?"

"Well... yeah. I don’t... they were all supposed to be gone."

"Do you think he knows?"

Alex didn’t have to ask who ‘he’ was.

"Not that I know of." He looked again at the picture. "But Fox, I... you know I can’t be sure."

"Yeah." Fox reached up to caress the younger man’s hair. "Just thought I’d check."

"And you believe that?" Langly asked, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that Fox had so easily accepted the rat bastard’s answer.

"Alex has been out of commission for some time," Fox explained. "It would be very unlikely that he would know anything that Spender has been up to for the past several months."

"S-so, what do we do?"

"We." Frohike gave Fox a pleading look. "Mulder... come on!"

Fox ignored the small man and directed his conversation to Alex.

"I’m not sure how we could go about contacting him without blowing his cover. I don’t even know if we should try."

"But don’t you want to know why he’s still here? Besides, if they saw that broadcast," Alex said, nodding at the Gunmen, "who knows how many others may have, too. Shouldn’t we try and track him down to at least let him know that he’s been on the news?"

"You’re making perfect sense, babe, but if he hasn’t been made, we’d be running the risk of getting him captured, since we already know that we’re being watched."

"What?" Langly threw his hands up and spun around, walking a few steps away. "Great. That’s... that’s just friggin’ peachy, Mulder. Now we’re all screwed!"

"Would you relax?" Fox said, his voice taking on a bit of an impatient tinge. "We’re being watched," he stressed, his hand waving back and forth between Alex and himself.

"Why?" Byers asked.

"It’s personal," Fox said, dashing the trio’s hopes for an explanation. "Listen, guys, thanks for the head’s up. We need some time to talk about this and figure out what, if anything, we’re going to do."

"Who’s we, Mulder?" Langly asked, refusing to let go. "You and..." He grimaced, pointing at one man then the other. "...and..."

Fox sighed.

"You can’t leave us hanging like this! What’s going on with you?"

"Long story short, guys, and really, it’s all I have time for right now... Alex and I are... together."

Byers frowned. "Together... as in..."

"What the hell do you think he means?" Langly snapped at the bearded man. "They’re holding hands... making goo goo eyes at each other... Mulder just called him babe for Christ’s sake."

"Right," Fox said, moving toward the door. "So..."

"So, what we want to know is how the hell this happened, and why! And... and... how!" Frohike insisted.

"What part of not now don’t you guys understand?" Fox opened the door and waved toward the hall. As the three moved out of the apartment, his tone softened. "Listen... thanks. See what you can find out, okay, but keep it on the down low, please. Unless you find something else big, just wait for me to contact you." He shut the door in the other men’s faces and turned to Alex, who still stood where Fox had left him.

"They sure know how to crash a party, don’t they?"

Alex wrapped his arms around Fox waist as the other man approached and stopped in front of him.

"They’re pretty shook up," he murmured as Fox rubbed his back. "Can’t really blame them. Finding me here had to be one hell of a shock... and then for you to tell them that we’re..."

"They were going to find out sooner or later," Fox broke in.

"Mmm. So, what about Jeremiah Smith? Why do you think he stayed behind?"

"Could be so many reasons. He likes it here... he’s got nothing to go back to... he’s safer here than where he came from..."

"That wouldn’t be saying much, would it?"

"Not really, no. Which is why we have to be very careful about this."

Alex nodded and lowered his head.

"You look tired," Fox observed.

"No, I-I’m okay."

"Alex, I don’t want you to think that I suspected that you might have known anything about Jeremiah Smith that you weren’t telling me."

"No. No, I... I know you believe me. Your friends, on the other hand, are a different story," Alex said.

"They’ll be okay," Fox assured the younger man, "after I explain everything to them."

"Don’t count on it, Fox. They were looking at me as if I was Jack the Ripper; not that I blame them."

"I’ll deal with them later," Fox promised and began stroking the other man’s back. "Right now, we have more pressing matters to attend to."

Alex pressed his lips together and looked down. Fox sighed.

"Or not."

"I’m sorry, Fox. I just can’t help thinking that all these interruptions might be more than coincidence. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us that the time’s... not right."

Fox would have smiled at Alex’s usage of his word, but the tone with which he said it prevented him.

"Think it’ll let us know when it is right?"

Alex tried to hide the sadness in his eyes, but Fox read him easily.

"I know what you’re thinking, Alex." Fox gripped his shoulders and shook him once, gently. "Stop it."

Alex dropped his gaze and said nothing.

Fox wanted to push the issue but changed his mind. "Let’s uh..." He paused, searching for a lighter tone. "...We gotta figure out what we’re going to do about this Jeremiah Smith business." He released Alex and walked to his desk, turning on his computer. "I know I told the Gunmen to see what they could find out, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t do a little snooping ourselves, right?"

Alex remained where he was, staring down at the floor. Several seconds passed before he moved over to the desk and stood beside the older man. He watched the monitor as Fox logged on and went first to the website of the park that Smith had been filmed at.

"Maybe they’ve got some PR pictures of the park. You know, scenery, tourists and whatnot. He might have been caught in a shot."

Fox pulled up his chair and dropped into it as he navigated his way through the site. Alex stood to his side and a couple of steps back. His eyes went from the screen to the golden-brown head and remained there as Fox spoke.

"Well, I didn’t think we’d find anything, but it didn’t hurt to look." Fox drummed on the desk. "I guess I can check the DOD."

"The DOD?"

Fox shrugged. "Just so happens I know a way in through the back door... although I’m sure the guys’ll be going over those files with a..."

"Fox..."

Fox paused then started typing. "Yeah?"

"I... um... never mind."

Fox turned around and lightly grasped one of Alex’s hands and pulled it his lips for a brief kiss. "You sure?"

His voice came out in a heavy rasp.

"Yeah."

Over an hour and a half later, Fox had searched every file he was able to access, and he found nothing. He leaned back in the chair and rubbed his eyes then scrubbed his fingers through his hair. Squinting over at Alex, who had long since taken a seat on the sofa, he offered a tight smile.

"Let’s hope Langly’s skills are better than mine," he croaked. "Or we may have to send them on a trip."

Alex sat quietly staring at his hands, having given no response. Fox stared for a moment then pulled away from the desk.

"So. You hungry? We can check out that food that Scully and Peter brought."

"Not really. Umm... but If you’re hungry, go ahead," Alex said softly.

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, I... I think I might." Fox hesitated then, unable to find something more to say, he turned and headed into the kitchen. Alex watched his retreating shadow then leaned forward and rested his head in his hands.

In the kitchen, Fox stood at the open refrigerator, staring inside. He wasn’t looking for the bag; it was right there in front of him. He wasn’t the least bit hungry. It was just something to say to Alex because he couldn’t find anything else to say. And now here he stood. Cool air wafting across his bare feet, mind swimming with thoughts, heart aching.

Alex’s appearance in the doorway jarred him out of his thoughts, and his mouth trembled into a smile.

"Change your mind?" He grabbed the bag and turned to place it on the counter. "We got uh..."

Alex stepped forward and hesitantly placed a hand on Fox’s back. His name carried to his ears on a soft breath, and his hands stilled their movement. He sucked one corner of his bottom lip into his mouth and turned to face the younger man. The agony he saw in the green eyes put a deeper pain in his heart than he’d previously felt. A harsh breath stumbled past his lips, and he pulled Alex into his arms.

"I’m sorry," Alex gasped, and Fox tightened his hold on the younger man.

"There’s no need to be," he murmured, dropping kisses in Alex’s hair.

"Yes there is. I’m here with the man I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, and I’m ruining it."

"Alex, if I’d expected that this would be easy, I’d be a foolish man." He lifted the other’s head from his shoulder and looked into eyes overflowing with sorrow. "We’re standing in my kitchen with our arms around each other. In a while, we’ll be lying in bed together. That alone is too incredible to believe." He deposited a soft kiss on the pouting mouth. "Making love with you will be beyond amazing, but not until it’s absolutely right for both of us."

"I don’t seem to be able to be certain about when that is. One minute we’re all over each other, and I’m as sure as I can get, and then a ten minute interruption blows it all to hell. I don’t know what to do, Fox, I don’t..."

He was getting anxious. Fox pulled him to his chest and stroked his back, crooning softly to him.

"Don’t get yourself all worked up about it. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to. You won’t even have to think about it."

Alex buried his face in the side of Fox’s neck.

"It’s not right, it’s... I want to, Fox. I can’t tell you how much I want to."

"I know that," Fox whispered. "Just relax, okay? Please, Alex. All this stressing isn’t a good thing. You’ve had way more of it these last few days than is probably healthy."

Alex nestled closer and shut his eyes.

"...You’re worried about me."

"Yeah, I’m worried about you." Fox smiled. "Guess it’s all part of this love business." He pulled back and took the other man’s hand. "Come with me."

Alex let Fox lead him into the bedroom, where he was gently stripped of his pants.

"Lie on your stomach," Fox instructed as he peeled off his own jeans. Frowning slightly, Alex did as he asked. It wasn’t long before he felt the depression of the mattress, and then Fox’s weight settle over him. Gentle hands pressed into his shoulders and began massaging his knotted muscles. Alex let out a husky groan, and the sound went straight to Fox’s crotch. Before his growing erection could make itself known, he raised himself up on his knees and continued to alternately knead and soothe Alex’s back and shoulders.

Alex bit back another moan as Fox worked out a particularly stubborn knot. No one had ever given him a massage before, and never, until now had he imagined it to be this pleasurable. He thought it was something he could definitely get used to.

Which was probably not a very good thing.

"Fox," he sighed as the older man’s hands slipped up under the hem of his shirt and glided up and down his bare skin. "I... y-you don’t have to..."

"Shhhhh."

Tried? Tried what? Oh. Wait. Was that an attempt at objection? Weak, Krycek. Very weak.

Despite his silent castigation, he made no more effort at protest. He couldn’t. It felt so damn good to be taken care of. To be loved. Not that Peter didn’t do both, but Peter was his brother. This was so completely different. This was what he’d longed for. This feeling. This man.

He fell asleep with Fox’s hands on him. Warm. Reverent. Coaxing him into relaxation. There would never again be anger in his touch. No more violence. No hatred.

Fox leaned in, dusting Alex’s hair with tender kisses. He continued to massage the younger man gently, though he could tell from the deep, even breaths that he was out. Several minutes passed before he swung his leg over the still body and lay down beside it. He maintained contact, letting his hand drift back and forth over Alex’s shoulders as he stared at him.

He’d done it before... watched Alex sleep. But from a different view point. In a more unsure, definitely rocky phase of what was to be their relationship. Now he lay here... on the verge of being the man’s lover, and it was a whole new ball game. He could look at him with new eyes. See all the things his hatred would never have let him see before. He’d started to see them that night they fought at Peter’s, but he hadn’t fully awakened yet to his feelings. Now there was nothing in his way, and he took it all in.

Resting his head in his hand, he trailed the tips of his fingers over the lightly stubbled cheek, learning its texture. He looked closer and smiled. Some of the freckles he remembered seeing on the chubby baby face in the picture at Peter’s apartment still remained. They were vague and more sporadically placed than when he was a boy but still visible. He barely skimmed the line of the other man’s nose, letting his fingers follow the faintly noticeable upturn. He planted a tiny kiss on the tip of it then turned his attention to the heavy fringe of sable lashes.

He’d not thought about it until now, but there was a time, many years ago, when Scully had commented on his new partner’s eyelashes. She’d said how long and thick they were, and she’d cursed him and, in her exact words, ‘every other s.o.b. who had naturally what a good many women could only obtain with makeup and metal contraptions.’

He laughed to himself as he recalled her tone of utter disgust. It wasn’t fair, he supposed, but in this particular case, he was glad. Those ridiculously lush lashes were the perfect frame for his eyes. Deep, hypnotic pools of green. Fox could fall into them and never come out.

He lingered for a while on the closed lids, imagining that in his sleep, Alex would feel him watching and open his eyes. They would stare at each other for a long while before Fox would move in and touch his mouth, his perfect, bow-shaped lips, with his own. He could hear Alex’s sigh in his head, as the kiss deepened and grew more passionate...

His cock, which had already begun to lengthen while he had been straddling the younger man’s body, throbbed to full hardness.

It proved to be damn tough, though, lying so close to the man he’d come to want with such frightening intensity. He fought his growing desire for nearly half an hour before he decided that a cool shower might be his best bet for a good night’s sleep.

Slipping quietly off the bed, he turned and looked down at Alex, who was still soundly asleep. He reached down and skimmed the surface of the younger man’s hair with his fingers then crept into the bathroom. He shut the door and turned the shower on, letting it run just slightly warmer than ice cold, then he stripped and stepped inside.

The water felt good as it pounded his skin. He reached for the soap and poured some into a sponge, then he closed his eyes and slowly washed. Seconds later, images of Alex, naked and wet, pressed up against him, invaded his thoughts.

He shifted to the plans he’d been considering for Alex’s birthday. Dinner at that nice little supper club downtown, maybe a walk afterward... or a drive, depending on what Alex felt like. They could park somewhere secluded and make out...

But try as he might, he couldn’t get his mind off of the image of Alex and himself in his car, kissing and groping each other. And then...

But his traitorous mind wasn’t listening. It brought them back to his apartment, where they just barely made it in the door before the first article of clothing hit the floor.

His hand crept down to his cock, stroking lightly as he saw himself slowly strip Alex’s clothes off then drop to his knees in front of him. The younger man’s hands went into his hair, and Fox nuzzled the stony erection bobbing in front of him.

His jaw clenched, and he began to pump with a little more insistence as the Fox in his imagination opened his mouth and took Alex in...

Leaning against the wall, he held his cock in a firmer grip and began milking it in earnest as he resumed his fantasy.

The clenching muscles of Alex’s ass under his hands... sexy, excited moans... his hips, thrusting slowly, then faster as he lost control...

"God... oh, shit..."

Fox grunted as quietly as he could, pumping long streams of semen onto the shower floor as he came. He leaned forward, supporting himself with one hand, waiting until he caught his breath to straighten up and finish washing. When he was through, he shut the water off and stepped out of the tub. Slowly, he dried himself off then changed into a loose pair of shorts. Not bothering with a shirt, he slipped silently back into the bedroom and crawled into bed. Alex slept on, completely oblivious to the fact that Fox had left his side or come back to it. Fox watched him, his body’s needs temporarily quieted but his heart and mind still restless.

Not that he thought it would do him any good, but he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

"Ready?"

"In a minute."

Alex gave Fox a brief smile as the older man passed him, his hand running across the expanse of his back. He paused, comb stopped halfway through his hair, and he watched Fox disappear into the bedroom.

Fox hadn’t said anything, hadn’t given any overt signs, but Alex couldn’t shake the feeling that something was a bit off. Fox had risen long before him this morning and made a big breakfast, and when he’d entered the kitchen showered and dressed, he’d found the older man standing at the stove, staring intently into a kettle of boiling eggs. When he’d softly called Fox’s name, it had clearly startled him. Fox had quickly pasted a smile to his face and asked Alex to sit. He’d served the meal and they’d eaten quietly, making mostly small talk. After that, they had spent the day pleasantly, doing a little more shopping and having lunch in the park. Fox was attentive, amusing and patiently helpful as Alex looked for something to wear for tonight and their night out tomorrow, but there was something in his eyes. A hint of sadness, maybe. Alex couldn’t be sure. It worried him, though. As afraid as he was of finding out, he thought that he’d ask Fox about it later. After their dinner with Scully and Peter.

He finished combing his hair and joined Fox in the living room.

"You look great," Fox said softly, turning an admiring gaze on Alex as he approached. "Blue is a good color on you."

Alex fidgeted with his shirt, tugging at the sleeves then unconsciously checking to make sure it was buttoned up high enough.

"Thanks." He took the few remaining steps that put him directly in front of the older man. Lifting a hand to his chest, he stroked it tentatively. "And you look very handsome."

One corner of Fox’s mouth twitched up into a half smile. He planted a soft kiss on the bridge of Alex’s nose, then he moved away to retrieve his keys from the desk.

"We’d better get out of here before Scully starts calling us."

Alex picked up his jacket and Fox’s and followed the other man out of the apartment. Less than half an hour later, they were pulling up to the restaurant Scully had chosen. Fox handed his keys to the valet, and the couple entered the building. Fox spotted Scully almost immediately, seated next to Peter in a corner booth, phone against her ear.

"...No answer. They’d better be on their way; I’m hungry."

Before Peter could utter a response, the host appeared with the remainder of their party right behind him.

"Here we are."

Fox nodded at the man. "Thank you." He smirked down at Scully, who gave him an impatient glare. "Before you even start..." He looked at his watch. "We’re only fifteen minutes late."

"And what’s your excuse?"

"It was my fault," Alex broke in, trying to save Fox from being ripped into by his partner. "I guess I’m just having one of those days where it feels like I’m moving in reverse."

"Uh huh. Well, sit down. I’ve been starving myself all day in anticipation of this meal."

The men slid into the booth, first Alex then Fox, who immediately laid his arm across the back of the seat and turned slightly in toward Alex.

"So, you sound like you already know what you’re going to have," Fox said, picking up a menu and handing it to Alex then opening his own.

"Well, yeah; you know, since we’ve had forever and a day to look the menu over..."

"Yeah, yeah."

The men decided what they wanted, then, while they were waiting for the server to come and take their order, listened to Scully and Peter’s blow by blow description of their last few days together.

"...and after all that hype, it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen."

"Yeah?" Fox asked, surprised. "The trailers looked so good."

"Trust us, they were the best part of the movie," Peter said, buttering a thick slice of bread and offering it to Scully. He picked up another. "The one we saw today was much better."

The waiter appeared then, politely and efficiently taking everyone’s order, and when he left, Scully began her inquest.

"Okay, what have you two been up to?"

"Did a little clothes shopping for Alex. Had lunch in the park today... oh, and the Gunmen came over last night."

"They..." Scully looked from one man to the other. "What for?"

"To bring me some information... Jeremiah Smith is still here."

Scully straightened her posture and stared hard at her partner. "Jeremiah Smith?"

"Yeah. He’s posing as a park ranger in California." Fox reached into his pocket and pulled out the folded picture, handing it to Scully.

"Where’d this picture come from?" Peter asked.

"Screen grab from a late news broadcast. I’ve got the guys checking it out. I tried myself last night, but I came up empty. Pete, you haven’t heard Spender mention him, have you?"

"He doesn’t talk much shop in front of me. But if I had to guess, I’d say he doesn’t know about this. The invasion threat may be over, but he’s got his fingers in so much else... If he got his hands on someone like Smith, there’s no end to the amount of hell he could create."

"Which is why we’re fairly sure that Smith is hiding out," Alex said.

"If the Gunmen saw him on the news, how great are the chances that someone else might have seen him too?" Scully asked. "I mean, someone it might mean something to. We have to warn him, don’t you think?"

"Yeah. But we have to be careful. We don’t want to tip the old man off," Alex murmured, picking up his water glass.

"So, what’s the plan?"

"The boys may be going on a little trip to the west coast," Fox replied. "None of us can go, since we’re pretty sure the old bastard’ll know."

Scully sighed and slouched a bit in her seat. "I thought this was all over."

"It still may be," Peter reasoned. "Just because Smith is still here, that doesn’t mean that we’re back on invasion watch. It could just mean that he liked it here and decided to stay."

"Right," Fox agreed. "But we do need to track him down and find out for sure."

"And if he really is just trying to live a quiet life here?" Peter asked.

"We let him. But first we find him and let him know about that broadcast. After that, the best protection we may be able to offer him is to forget we saw him. If he needs us, he can contact us."

Eventually, the conversation steered away from Jeremiah Smith to other things.

"How are you liking Washington, Pete?" Fox asked. "You haven’t been here before, right?"

"Nope, never have. I like it. So much to do." Peter smiled at Scully. "Great scenery." Then he turned his gaze to his brother. "Right, kid?"

Alex lowered his eyes for a moment and gave Peter a brief smile.

"How do you like it in comparison to Las Cruces?"

Alex lifted his eyes quickly to Fox’s face then looked to his brother.

Peter gave the other man a knowing smirk. "I wouldn’t mind moving out this way. Wouldn’t mind it at all." The smile faded. "Of course, I couldn’t leave my brother... there’s the issue of him needing to be near his doctor... you know..."

"I know. Alex and I have talked about this a little bit, but we didn’t get too far."

"What about it?"

"I was wondering if there was any way to make dear old dad move Alex’s doctor out here."

Peter’s gaze flicked from one man to the other. "I don’t... Alex, what do you think? You’ve made him back off so you could come for a visit. Is there a possibility that you could use that same method to force him to transfer your doctor?"

"No," Alex rasped. "I don’t. I... you know him, Peter. He’s probably already burying what he can and looking at some avenues of retribution for what I’ve done."

Peter sighed. "I know you’re right. But there’s got to be something. Some way of circumventing..."

"We’re going to figure it out," Fox broke in, wrapping his anger at Spender in a thick blanket of confidence. He cupped Alex’s cheek and turned his face so that their eyes met. "We are, baby," he whispered, just barely making himself heard.

Scully and Peter watched the men, unable to turn away as a thousand unspoken words passed between them. Scully’s breath caught and held when Fox pulled Alex closer to his warmth and covered the younger man’s mouth with his own. She’d never seen this side of Mulder before. Sweet. Protective. Achingly tender. Not in the way of someone who was almost like a brother; she’d seen that in him... but as a man in love. Deeply and completely.

Jeez.

How did it happen so fast?

It wasn’t as fast as that, she’d supposed. There’d been feelings there all along. They’d just been buried under years of anger. And now that they’d surfaced, there was no holding them back.

She smiled at the soft sound of Peter’s groan and leaned against him, pushing gently.

"Come on, now. You can take a little kissing, can’t you?"

"I’m trying, but... it’s not an easy thing for a hetero male to deal with, y’know? Hey, come on, guys. Our dinner’ll be here soon."

Fox released Alex’s mouth and turned to look at Peter.

"So, let us know when it comes."

Alex lowered his head and laughed softly. Fox engaged him in another brief kiss, then he pulled away.

"Maybe we should knock it off now, so Peter doesn’t lose his appetite completely."

"Fine," Fox sighed, clearly exasperated. Then he brushed his knuckles over Alex’s cheek. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I... you’re right. We’ll figure something out." He closed his eyes and, grasping Fox’s hand, he nuzzled it gently.

"Yeah, we’ll figure something out," Scully repeated. "We’d better," she mumbled to Peter, "or these two are going to be completely impossible to live with."

"Oh, yeah, I can’t," Peter groaned. "I’ve had enough of this one’s brooding to last me the rest of my days."

"Ditto," Scully said, getting a half-hearted glare from Fox, then she changed the subject again. "So... you boys got big birthday plans for tomorrow?"

"Not big, but we have plans."

"You have plans," Alex corrected softly, earning a smirk from Fox, then he turned to the other couple. "He made some phone calls this morning, and he won’t tell me where he called."

"Aww, a surprise. Isn’t that sweet?"

Alex looked back to Fox and gave him a trace of a smile. "Yeah," he whispered. The smile fell away. "...Yeah."

The look that passed between the two men was impossible for either of their dinner companions not to notice. Nothing was said until the meal was ordered and Fox’s cell phone rang.

"It’s Langly." He flipped the phone open and answered, but it was difficult to hear in the restaurant. He excused himself and stepped outside, and Peter took the opportunity to visit the men’s room, leaving Alex and Scully alone.

"Okay, what’s going on?"

Alex gave the woman a cautious look. "Going on?"

"Yeah, Krycek. The heat you two are giving off is ridiculous. Half the people in this room can probably feel it. But there’s something else. While I make no claim to know you well, I don’t think it’s necessary, to read that look of worry in your eyes. Plus, I know my partner like I know me. Something isn’t quite right; I can see it in his face." She didn’t tell him about what she and Fox had talked about the night before. "So... tell me what’s wrong."

Alex lowered his head and said nothing.

"You know I just want to help," she said in a comforting tone. "What can I do?"

"Nothing... I’m hurting him."

"You’re... how?"

Alex sighed then turned an anguished gaze to Scully’s face. "He loves me."

She gave him a patient smile. "I know that. So, how are you hurting him?"

For a second it looked as though he might talk but then he shook his head and looked away.

"Alex..."

Peter chose then to return to the table, and Scully fell silent. He looked from her to his brother, sensing that something had happened. Before he could ask, Fox approached, looking as though he had news. Taking his seat next to Alex, he tapped softly on the table. Alex studied him for a moment then laid a gentle hand on his arm.

"What?"

"Those guys work fast."

Scully and Peter sat up a little straighter in their seats, waiting.

"The man in the news report... the one who’d been attacked... he made a miraculous recovery. His wounds have healed... disappeared kind of healed. No one seems to know how."

"Well," Alex sighed. "If there were any doubts before..."

Fox nodded. "I told the guys we’d go by their place after dinner to discuss getting them out to California, okay?"

"’Kay."

The subject was changed, and by the time dinner arrived, all were involved in lighter conversation.

"...you should have seen the look on her face," Scully chuckled, recounting her mother’s accidental meeting with Peter much earlier in the day. "We’re in the middle of breakfast, both dressed, but his hair is wet, and it’s not raining, so it’s pretty obvious it was from the shower."

"What’d she say?" Fox asked, wide-eyed.

"Not much she could say. Shook his hand, said she was pleased to meet him. Told me why she’d dropped by so early in the morning, and that was that. I mean, I asked her to stay and have breakfast with us, but I think she was a little too flustered."

"She probably stopped in at the nearest church and lit fifteen candles," Fox murmured. Scully smiled at the comment.

"I’m glad you think it’s funny," Peter groaned. "She’s never going to like me now."

"Of course she will," Scully promised. "She just might need a little time, that’s all."

"Uh huh."

"Really!"

"She’s always going to see me now as the creep she found shacked up with her little girl."

"I’ll talk to her," Scully said, rubbing Peter’s arm. "I’ll tell her what a wonderful man you are, how much you mean to me, and she’ll be okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Nah."

Peter’s head snapped around to face Fox. "Huh?"

Smirking, Fox shook his head. "Mrs. Scully is a very religious, very old-fashioned woman." He slapped Peter’s shoulder. "You don’t stand a chance, my friend."

"Oh, God."

"Mulder! Peter, don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to shake you up."

"No, I’m not," Fox said under his breath, still grinning.

"Alex, you want to put a leash on your boyfriend?"

Boyfriend. As in significant other. Sweetheart. Beau... lover.

Lover. Yeah, not so much, huh, Alex?

His gaze fell immediately and fixed on the table, and he said nothing. Fox met Scully’s eyes then Peter’s, and he changed the subject.

"So, how is your mother, Scully?"

"She’s okay. She just came back from two weeks at Charles’ house. The kids wore her out, but she had a good time."

"How many nieces and nephews do you have?" Peter asked, glancing at Alex briefly before returning his attention to Scully.

"Three. Bill’s got one and Charles has two."

"But neither brother lives here, right?"

"No. Bill actually just got stationed in Hawaii, and Charles lives in Indiana. It’s kind of tough for my mother, having her grandchildren so far away, but at least it gives her a reason to take a few trips a year."

"What about you? Do you visit them?"

"On occasion. I’d say that my work doesn’t permit it, but I don’t know that that’s really true. It think it’s more that my brothers and I aren’t as close as we used to be. Especially Bill."

"No?" Peter gave Scully’s back a brief caress. "Gee, I’m sorry. What happened?"

Red eyebrows raised and lowered back into place, and Scully sighed.

"I happened," Fox answered for his partner. "Bill doesn’t approve of me at all, and Charles just sort of follows along with whatever big brother says."

"Sounds like there isn’t much love lost between you."

"That would be an understatement," Fox answered.

"It’s not just my partnership with Mulder," Scully elaborated. "My father wasn’t at all happy that I had given up a medical career to join the Bureau. And he was Dad, you know? Larger than life and always right. The boys naturally took everything he said and did as gospel. So, the rift, if you can call it that, started when I announced my change of career. Teaming up with Mulder just compounded the trouble."

Dinner concluded, and as the group lingered over coffee, the waiter came up behind Alex, carrying a small cake. Alex closed his eyes and turned his head as the young man placed the cake in front of him.

"Happy birthday, kiddo," Peter said, smiling. "We’d have sung, but I figured this was embarrassing enough for you."

"Yeah. Thanks," Alex murmured, now looking at the flickering candles. "Remind me to kick your ass later."

"Don’t grumble, Krycek," Scully instructed. "Just blow out the damn candles. Oh. Make a wish first."

Alex stared. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

Alex sighed, thought a moment, then blew out the tiny flames. Fox smiled, stroking the back of the younger man’s head.

"What’d you wish for, babe?"

"He can’t tell you," Scully said, looking at Fox as if he had six heads.

"Oh, excuse me," Fox droned, holding his hands up in surrender. "Don’t know what the hell I was thinking."

Alex glanced at Fox then picked up the knife that the waiter had provided, and he cut into the cake. After he served everyone, he took a small slice for himself and pushed it around his plate for a few seconds until Peter set a small wrapped box down in front of him. The younger man sighed heavily.

"Pete..."

"Don’t start," Peter warned jovially. "Just open it."

Alex spun the box slowly then pulled it toward the edge of the table and picked it up.

"That’s from Dana and me."

Green eyes flicked from his brother to Scully then lowered to the flat box as he carefully unwrapped it. A dated airline ticket met his curious gaze, and he groaned, looking up at the couple.

"You... why’d you do this?"

"To make sure you come back out as soon after your next appointment as possible."

"I can well afford to pay for my own tickets."

"We know that. But we weren’t giving you any opportunity to come up with some excuse why you couldn’t turn around and come right back out after your appointment." Peter leaned in so that his face came within inches of Alex’s ear. "It’s non-refundable."

Alex expelled a long breath. "...Thank you." He looked up at the two smiling faces and shook his head. "You really didn’t have to."

"We know that," Scully said, then she looked at Fox, who was sitting quietly, observing them. "But you two need to be together. Whatever else may be a bit confused right now, that much is very clear."

Alex looked down for a moment then turned his eyes to Fox, who said nothing. The two stared at each other for a short time, then Alex put the cover back on the box, and everyone ate their cake. It was close to nine when they finally parted company.

"Have a good day tomorrow, kid," Peter said, pulling Alex into a brief hug. "Happy birthday." He gave Alex’s back a firm pat and stepped back.

"Thanks, Pete. Thanks, Scully. For everything."

"You’re welcome, Alex. Mulder, call and let us know what’s going to happen with the Gunmen, okay?"

"Yeah, I will Goodnight, guys."

The couples got into their respective cars and exited the lot. The men drove in silence for almost five minutes before Fox cleared his throat and spoke. There was still a slight roughness to it when it reached Alex’s ears.

"That was a really thoughtful gift, huh?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Yeah, it was."

"...You gonna use it?"

"...Yes."

"Because you want to, or because it’s non-refundable?"

The sadness that Alex had seen in Fox’s eyes earlier had found its way into his voice.

"I want to," he almost whispered. "Please don’t think that I don’t."

"But you’re still thinking that you shouldn’t."

Alex gave him an apologetic smile. "Guess it’s going to take a while to get past that."

"...Yeah."

There were a few minutes of quiet, then Alex turned to the driver and gently rested his hand on the thigh closest to him.

"...Fox?"

Golden-brown lashes lowered halfway then rose again.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Sure. I’m fine... why do you ask?"

"I don’t know... something... something in your eyes... since this morning."

Fox glanced over and gave the younger man a smile that was meant to reassure. "I’m fine." He covered the hand resting on his leg. "Don’t worry... ‘kay?"

Alex stared for a moment then nodded wordlessly.

Fox curled his fingers around Alex’s hand and lifted it to his lips, planting several small kisses on his knuckles. They rode the rest of the way in silence, and when they got to the Gunmen’s place, Alex volunteered to wait in the car, but Fox wouldn’t hear of it.

"I don’t want to get them all worked up again," Alex murmured as Fox got out of the vehicle. He rounded the front and pulled the younger man’s door open.

"Let’s go. They’re going to have to get used to you sooner or later. Might as well be sooner."

Alex hesitated a moment then got out of the car and followed Fox to the door. Seconds after he pressed the buzzer, an anxious, muffled mix of voices could be heard on the inside. All went quiet for a short while, then came the click and shuffle of locks. The door swung open, and Frohike backed away as Fox entered, pulling Alex in after him.

"Hey, guys."

Three pairs of eyes glanced nervously from Fox to his companion as the men continued to back into the room.

"You got anything more?"

"N-not since we talked, no." Langly stepped behind a long table as if its mass would protect him from the intruder holding Fox’s hand. "You thought about what you want us to do?"

"I don’t think all three of you should go, so, flip a coin to see which one stays behind, and take off as soon as possible. I don’t have to tell you that this is a covert op and to be very careful. Now, he won’t know who you are, so why don’t you get a camera set up so I can tape him a message?"

Langly skittered off to get prepared, and Fox continued to issue instructions to the others. Alex listened as his eyes wandered around the room. Langly returned minutes later and motioned for Fox to follow him.

"All set."

While Fox recorded his message, Alex stood quietly to the side, watching him as the other men stayed as far away from him as they could get. He could feel their eyes on him, but he remained focused on Fox. When the recording was complete, Fox walked over to him, stopping when they were just barely touching, and their eyes met.

"Do you think that’s okay? Should I change any of it?"

Alex shook his head. "No. No, it sounded fine."

"I didn’t leave anything out?"

"I don’t think so."

"Okay." Fox took the younger man’s hand and turned to the three, who were watching in amazement.

"You guys look like you could all use a good stiff drink."

"Or twelve," Frohike muttered under his breath, then said louder, "Mulder, come on. What the hell gives?"

Fox gently shook the hand enclosed in his.

"What d’you think, babe? Can we spare the time to put these guys out of their misery?"

"Sure," Alex said, eyes downcast. Fox kissed his hand and began his story, making it as short as possible. Some forty-five minutes later, the Gunmen stared in shocked silence.

"Breathe, fellas."

"That story’s too wild not to be true," Byers gasped. "But, Mulder... we never knew you were... that you liked... men."

"You don’t know every little thing about me," Fox replied. "So, I guess now, I have to ask. Is that a problem for you?"

"No, dude," Frohike stammered. "But... but..." He glanced at Alex, catching the other man’s eye, and he looked quickly away. "Uh..." He whispered the next word as if Fox was the only one who would be able to hear him, "...him?"

"I understand your confusion, believe me," Fox said. "But understand this... I love him. He loves me. This is not a phase or some temporary insanity that you have to just wait out. It’s as permanent as I can make it."

Langly frowned. "What’s that mean?"

"It means that that bastard Spender has got to be dealt with. He can’t be allowed to cause any more problems for us."

"And how do you propose to see to that?" Byers asked, anxious at the seriousness of Fox’s tone.

"...However I have to."

Fox felt Alex’s gaze on him. When he turned to face the younger man, he found eyes almost black with fear and grief staring back. The sable head shook in a silent plea. Fox slid a hand along Alex’s cheek and cupped it in his palm. He deposited a tender kiss on his forehead then the tip of his nose.

"Jesus, Mulder," Frohike wheezed, drawing Fox’s attention before he could move on to Alex’s mouth. "Do you hear yourself?"

"Yeah." Fox moved slowly to the door with a speechless Alex in tow. When he reached the door, he turned to face the other men once more. "Thanks, guys. Call me when you find him."

The two walked out, leaving the remaining three staring at each other in disbelief. When they were again on their way, Alex lifted his eyes from the floor and cast a wary gaze in the driver’s direction.

"Fox, I..."

Fox reached across the seat and grazed Alex’s cheek with his knuckles.

"What is it, baby? Say it."

"You... you’ve got me scared."

Fox waited for an explanation.

"That uh... that you might actually be serious about what you said."

Fox knew what he was talking about.

"Why does that scare you?"

"You’re not a killer, Fox. And the thought that you’d turn into one because of me..." Alex fell silent and turned his head in an effort to keep Fox from seeing his lower lip quiver.

"I’ve killed people, Alex," Fox reasoned. "Comes with the job."

"You just said it," Alex rasped, still looking at the passing scenery. "Any time you’ve had to kill someone, it was in the line of duty. Not just because he was some asshole who was standing in the way of you having something you wanted."

"Don’t do that," Fox snapped quickly. "Don’t term yourself as some generic... object that I could easily do without."

Alex’s gaze dropped, and he said nothing. Fox’s grip on the steering wheel tightened enough to turn his knuckles white, then he loosened it and let out a long, soft breath. Nothing more was said, and when they arrived back at Hegal Place, he hung his jacket up and shuffled into the living room, dropping heavily onto the sofa. Alex watched him lean over, dropping his head almost between his knees. When he finally lifted it, he noticed that he was alone in the room. He called softly to the younger man, and when he received no answer, he boosted himself to his feet and went to find him.

The kitchen was empty, and Fox walked out and through the dining room, his heart pounding as he passed the front door.

The burning light in the bathroom led Fox there first, and it was there that he found Alex, standing by the counter, putting his toothbrush into its case and laying it in the black leather bag he’d brought his toiletries in.

"What are you doing?"

The sharp question brought Alex’s eyes up to meet Fox’s for all of a second and a half before he looked back down at his bag.

"...Leaving."

Fox took two steps into the room. "The fuck you are."

Sable lashes lowered over eyes glittering with emotion.

"This isn’t working, Fox. It can’t work. Let me go. Just..." He reached for his hair brush. "...Just let me go."

"You’re not leaving," Fox rumbled, stalking forward and snatching the bag away from the other man’s loose grip.

"Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?" Alex shouted, taking Fox aback. The older man quickly shook off his shock and shouted back.

"Exactly what is it that you think I’m doing to myself?"

"You’re not happy," Alex answered, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "I saw it all over your face this morning. I see it right now."

"I’m not happy right now," Fox agreed. "Because you fucking insist on telling me what’s good for me, what’s bad for me, what I need, what I don’t need... and as for this morning... yeah. Yeah, I guess I was a little unhappy. But that unhappiness stemmed from frustration. It’s goddamn hard, Alex... a lot harder than I thought it would be to be so close to you and..." He stopped, running his tongue over his lower lip.

"All the more reason for me to leave," Alex reasoned, reaching for the bag, but Fox jerked it away from his hand.

"You think that’s going to solve the problem?" Fox asked, anger building again. "...Do you?"

"Maybe not," Alex whispered. He began undoing the button on his pants. "I can solve at least half that problem."

When Fox spoke, his voice was just as flat as his stare.

"Don’t bother." He turned to leave the bathroom, planning for those to be his last words, but he was choking on hurt and anger, and he whirled around, his eyes a blazing with amber light.

"Is that what you think? That I’m going through all this shit just waiting for the moment I get to pound your ass? You think I’ll feel better then, and I’ll just be able to dump you in the gutter after that?"

Alex didn’t know what surprised him more. The vulgarity of the question or the hostile way in which it was stated. He blinked twice and posed a question of his own.

"Didn’t you just say you were frustrated?"

"I could get sexual frustration taken care of anywhere... with anybody... but thanks a lot for the faith." Now, he was finished.

Alex watched as Fox turned and walked out, his head and shoulders held at a defeated angle. He fell back against the counter, eyes closed as his overwrought brain tried to process what had just passed between them, and his heart ached with Fox’s hurt and his own. He stayed frozen in that spot for more than twenty minutes, then he made his way into the bedroom and stayed there, listening to the silence for more than two hours, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he moved to the door and inched into the living room, where he found Fox sitting quietly at the far corner of the sofa.

The faint hum of the aquarium filter was the only sound in the room. The fish, the only things moving. At least ten minutes passed before Fox spoke. His voice, quiet and broken, closed Alex’s eyes.

"Why would you do that?"

Sable lashed lifted, and Alex turned a moist gaze on the seated man. "I... I don’t know." It sounded like the answer a six year old would give.

"If you were trying to hurt me..." Fox looked in Alex’s general direction but not straight at him and gave him the thumbs up sign. "...good job."

Unable to give a verbal response, Alex shook his head as his eyes welled up. Fox could see his reaction out of the corner of his eye, but he stayed where he was. He waited a good long while then spoke again.

"...It’s you."

Alex swiped at one cheek and frowned at the older man. This time Fox turned his head and faced him.

"I don’t want you because you’re the only fuck I would have had in years. I want you because looking at you does things to me. Touching you, talking to you... the sound of your voice does things to me... all of me. Eating with you, sleeping next to you, getting up with you... the more of you I get, the more I want. I want the complete..." He searched for the words. "...package." He dropped his gaze again. "I told you that I would be as patient as I needed to be, and I meant it. But I can’t help thinking that you’re just going to keep finding reason after reason why this relationship should not be consummated. If that’s true... tell me."

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out.

"I want to know."

He would have preferred to have Fox screaming at him as opposed to speaking to him in that flat, empty tone.

"I don’t know what to say... except that um... I... I don’t mean to... to..." Alex stopped and tried again. "I’m not trying to jerk you around. And I... I’m sorry if I made it look like I thought that all you wanted from me was sex. I... I just... I know that all of this must be driving you nuts, and it just hit me that there was one thing that I could do to make it easier. I guess it didn’t come out that way."

"No, it didn’t come out that way." Fox’s tone was still cool. "And even if it had... I told you that I didn’t want you to do anything that you weren’t ready for. So, why would you?"

More tears pricked Alex’s eyes. "...Because I love you." He swallowed before continuing. "And you... you’ve done so much for m-me... and I’ve given you nothing."

Fox blinked rapidly then fixed an intent stare on the younger man. His heart began a long, dragged-out thumping, feeling more like it was pumping wet cement than blood.

"You’re serious, aren’t you?"

Alex said nothing.

"Look at me."

Slowly, dark, tormented eyes lifted to Fox’s. As hard as he fought it, two tears dropped from Alex’s right eye. Fox stared for several seconds then he called softly.

"Come here."

Alex didn’t think he was going to make it the few feet to the sofa. Slowly, on quivering knees, He moved forward, stopping when he was standing by Fox’s left leg. Fox rose to his feet, frowning at him. A very short while passed, and Alex averted his eyes, unable to continue looking into the turbulent green and gold gaze. Fox’s hand rose to his face, and he felt its warmth, cupping his cheek so gently. Fox’s thumb, whispering across his lower lip, released a deluge of tears, and he collapsed against the older man, feeling himself immediately wrapped in a snug embrace.

"Baby..."

The endearment, sighed into his hair was intended as a comfort. A prelude to an apology. Alex knew that, but somehow it only made him feel worse. He shook in Fox’s arms as he wept. Fox tightened his hold and, his voice, now filled with tenderness, vibrated sweetly in the younger man’s ear.

"You’ve given me more than I’d ever have hoped to have from anyone... ever."

Face buried in the side of Fox’s neck, Alex shook his head. "What have I given you?" he moaned.

"The desire to see another day," Fox whispered, dropping a kiss into the other man’s hair. "To live for something other than my job. You’ve given me love, Alex." Gently, he grasped a handful of hair and pulled Alex’s head so that he could see the younger man’s heavily misted eyes. "And you’ve filled me with the need to give it back." His voice, smoky and sweet, and the soft light in his eyes held Alex entranced. "I’ve never felt that before. It was so intense last night and this morning that it was an actual ache. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m sorry... I’m so sorry if I put any pressure on you. And I’m sorry for all of this."

Alex stared for a moment then closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Fox’s shoulder.

"Don’t leave... please?" Fox begged. "I couldn’t stand not having you here."

Alex’s fingers curled in the folds of Fox’s shirt, and he bit his tongue.

"I don’t want to leave," he rasped instead. "I just... I didn’t know what else to do. You looked so unhappy."

"I’d be a lot more unhappy if I had to wake up tomorrow and not see you next to me." His hand slid up into Alex’s hair and gently massaged the back of his head. "It’s only been a couple of days, but I already can’t imagine what it would feel like not to have you in my bed."

Alex let out a soft, hopeless sigh. Again, Fox grasped a handful of hair and eased the younger man’s head up off of his shoulder.

"I watched you this morning. Before I got up." Fox gave him a trace of a smile. "Your face was crushed into the pillow... hair all over the place... your mouth..." He brushed his fingertips over Alex’s bottom lip. "So soft..." He paused to take a slow, even breath... "In two days time I’ve become completely addicted. I can’t not wake up to you."

He had to say it.

"You’re going to have to. Not tomorrow or next week, but... I have to go back. I’m trapped at least until my biopsies are six months apart."

"Or we can get your doctor here," Fox reminded him. "Maybe we should talk directly to him. He may relocate on his own if we can make him an attractive enough offer."

"He’s in Spender’s pocket," Alex sighed, looking down at the older man’s chest as he lightly stroked it. "No amount of talking is going to help."

"We have to try, though. A year and a half more of just seeing you on occasion is unacceptable."

"People do it," Alex reasoned half-heartedly. "All the time."

"We’re not people." Fox realized what that sounded like, and he smiled. It hit Alex then, and he ducked his head, breathing out a soft laugh. Fox rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Alex lifted his head, and looked at Fox, a hint of a smile still curving his lips. It faded slowly, and he took in a long, slow breath. He let it out just a slowly, and he lifted a hand to Fox’s face, gently skimming the older man’s jaw with his fingers.

"We can try. I’ll talk to him when I go for my next appointment. But we have to keep it in mind that it’s a real long shot. That said, we’ll have to find a way to deal with separation."

Fox grasped Alex’s wrist and lovingly nuzzled his palm. "I know," he whispered. "I don’t want to."

"Me either. I’ve wanted this for years, and now... now to actually have it... I don’t want to give it up even for a day."

Fox kissed the hand he had still held to his face, then wound Alex’s arm around his neck. He slid his hand down Alex’s other arm, gently encircling his wrist, and he draped it over his other shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and pulled him in close. He brushed his cheek against Alex’s, then pressed several small kisses along the line of his jaw. "We’ll work it out somehow," he whispered. "In the meantime..." He released Alex and moved past him into the bedroom. Alex stood where he was, confused until Fox re-emerged from the bedroom, carrying a box wrapped in a garish blue and yellow paper.

"Happy birthday."

A soft groan mingled with Alex’s sigh as he eyed the box.

"Fox... you didn’t buy me a present."

"I didn’t?" Fox looked vaguely amused. "Huh. I wonder where this came from, then."

"When did you..."

"Right after we had made plans for you to come out."

"God..."

"What’s the biggie?" Fox asked. "It’s your birthday," he said, looking at his watch and then showing Alex that it was fifteen minutes after twelve. "People get presents for their birthday."

"Not me. Not from you."

Fox grimaced at him. "Seriously, Alex?"

"I... I don’t mean it like that."

Maybe he did. A little.

"I mean you’re already giving me so much for my birthday. A night out and you to spend it with. What more could I ask for?"

"Plenty," Fox murmured, balancing the box in one hand so that he could draw the index finger of his other hand down Alex’s cheek. "But you wouldn’t."

Alex’s gaze dropped for a moment then looked back into Fox’s face.

"This is actually as much for me as it is for you, if it makes you feel any better."

That piqued Alex’s curiosity, and he took the box from Fox, testing its weight before gingerly picking at an edge of the paper.

"I wrapped it myself," Fox announced proudly, and Alex chuckled softly.

"I figured," he said, admiring the amateurish attempt. He unwrapped the box and smiled as understanding dawned.

"I got one for myself, obviously," Fox said as Alex stared down at the web cam. "I thought it would help for the times we can’t be together."

Alex nodded, looking down at the box. Fox reached out, sliding it out of his loose grip and placed it on the coffee table. Once again, he wrapped Alex in his arms.

"If I can’t touch you, I can at least look at you."

Alex’s eyes closed, and he laid his head on Fox’s shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Well, like I said, it’s as much for me as it is for you."

Alex lifted his head and met Fox’s steady gaze before initiating a heartfelt kiss. When they separated, a low moan rolled in Fox’s throat.

"Have I mentioned how much I love the way you kiss?"

"I don’t believe it has as much to do with the way I kiss as it does with who it is I’m kissing."

Fox smirked. "So, I’m... inspiring?"

"Something like that."

Fox mouthed a silent ‘oh’, then came in for another kiss. It went on much longer this time, and when Alex’s tongue inched out to tease Fox’s lips apart, the older man had to lock his knees to remain upright. Alex’s fingers slid into his hair, curling in the strands, and he deepened the kiss, exploring the warm interior of Fox’s mouth. A soft groan broke from Alex’s throat and vibrated through Fox, reaching the very ends of his hair it seemed, and he forced himself to break away. He let out a heavy, steadying breath and gave Alex a trembling smile.

"Stay there."

Alex waited, watching curiously as Fox moved slowly over to the book shelf. The older man pulled out a couple of CDs and loaded the portable player. A song Alex recognized as one that Fox had included in the collection he’d sent started to play. Fox turned to face him, and their eyes met and locked, and he couldn’t stay where he was any longer.

Fox’s chest rose and fell as Alex slowly approached and pressed against him, sliding his hands up his chest and over his shoulders. His hands rested gently on the other man’s hips for a moment then wrapped around him, and they began to rock, barely moving to the lazy beat.

The intensity in Fox’s gaze seared Alex to his core, and his kiss, when it came, obliterated everything. Peter, his worries about Spender, his incredible guilt over Samantha... what he’d been, the things he’d done... the horror of his life. Here in Fox’s arms, swaying gently to the rhythm of the music, it all evaporated into a cloud of nothing. One song faded into the next, and still they danced, unwilling to put an end to the unbearable sensuality of the moment.

Fox released Alex from the kiss but remained close, teasing him with soft brushes of his mouth. His tongue feathered Alex’s lips as the music continued to move them, and Alex’s hands began to wander, gliding up and down his back, caressing and massaging gently. Alex trembled with pleasure, listening to Fox’s increased respiration and feeling the other harden against him. With a soft groan, he pushed his hips against Fox’s, and they stopped moving. He watched the light dampen a bit in the older man’s eyes as he backed up a step, looking unsure.

"Sorry," Fox whispered then cleared his throat. "I... I didn’t mean to..."

"No." Alex moved forward, shaking his head as he lifted his hands to the other man’s chest. Their eyes met and held for several beats before Alex removed one hand from Fox’s chest and moved it to his own. Fox stopped breathing as Alex undid one button on his shirt then moved slowly to the next. The fastening gave, and he thought Alex would stop there. But he reached for the third button. Before he could slip the little disc through the hole, Fox’s hand circled his wrist. No words left his lips, but there was a clear question in his eyes. Alex answered.

"I want to."

Fox blinked and dropped his hand, still staring until Alex undid the third button, then his gaze lowered to the slightly trembling hand, watching it reveal more of the other man’s scar.

With Fox’s eyes on him now, he began to lose his nerve and stopped at the fourth button. He looked down and stood quietly, playing nervously with the button. His lashes dropped shut as gentle fingers slid under his chin and lifted.

"Alex."

It took him a moment, but his eyes opened. They stared at the base of Fox’s throat before coming up to rest on his face. Tranquil, gold-flecked eyes warmed him and brought his trembling to a gradual halt. Fox drew two fingers down his cheek then brought them to the opening of his shirt. Looking down, he watched his fingers trace the still prominent scar. Alex’s trembling resumed as Fox bent and dusted the incision mark with his lips.

"Don’t be afraid, Alex," Fox murmured as he straightened and again met the other man’s eyes. "I love all of you."

Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He covered Fox’s hand with his own and stroked it lightly.

"...Would you... ?"

"Are you sure?"

Sucking his lower lip into his mouth, Alex nodded.

"I want you to be sure," Fox whispered.

"I’m... I’m scared," Alex admitted, "...but I’m sure."

Fox waited a few seconds, giving him time to change his mind. When no objection was forthcoming, Fox carefully undid the fourth button. He paused several seconds more then went for the fifth. He held Alex’s gaze, giving all the reassurance he could give without the use of words.

Alex’s heart stuttered then pounded out a hard, fast rhythm as his shirt was gently pulled out of his pants, and the last two buttons were unfastened. He fought valiantly against the tears that scalded the backs of his eyes as Fox got his first look at the entire ten inches of the raised line of flesh. Blinking quickly, he glanced away, knowing that once Fox looked back at him, the tears would begin to fall, and he wasn’t at all sure that he’d be able to stop them. Fox seemed to understand and waited patiently for him to compose himself.

Silently grateful for the other man’s empathy, and with more difficulty than he would have liked, Alex pulled himself together and looked back up into the soft depths of Fox’s eyes. The other man gave him a crooked smile and skimmed the line of his jaw with his knuckles.

"I’m still here."

"...You’re still here."

And he didn’t look sick or disgusted or anything.

"Still scared?"

Alex thought on the question for a while then nodded warily. Fox gathered him into his arms and slipped a hand under his shirt, rubbing his bare back. He laid his head on the older man’s shoulder and stood quietly, letting the warmth of Fox’s touch permeate his skin. He didn’t know exactly when it had happened, but they started moving again. Not so benign this time, the dancing had taken on a slightly more seductive quality, and fewer than ten minutes had passed when Alex decided he could no longer take the sensual torture.

Fox expelled a ragged breath then drew in another slow one as he felt his shirt being pulled out of the waistband of his pants. Alex’s hands crept underneath, inching up to his shoulder blades before sweeping down and out. Slowly, they circled around to the front, starting at the lowest button and working upward, pulling each one free. When he reached the top, he pushed the edges of the shirt apart and watched his hands reverently stroke Fox’s chest. The action raised gooseflesh and made Fox’s skin tingle wherever the younger man touched him. He released a long, stuttering sigh, and his hands clenched in the back of Alex’s shirt. When the other’s thumbs ghosted over his nipples, he nearly lost it, his whole body tensing while he bit off a hard grunt. Still curled into fists, his hands lifted, scraping Alex’s shirt against his skin, and he pressed them into his back to keep himself from attempting to rip the shirt in two.

Alex brushed his lips over Fox’s collar bone, then he touched his tongue to it, gently making a small circle there, and then he moved on, leaving a moist trail in his wake. Only able to concentrate on the sensations Alex’s tongue was creating, Fox stopped moving again and gritted his teeth, waiting as the other moved steadily toward one of the nipples he’d just been brushing with his thumb. It took everything he had in him to keep in control, and he shook with the effort. Alex felt the faint tremors, and he pulled away, focusing a limp-lidded stare on the other man.

He wasn’t sure what it was. Something in Fox’s eyes, maybe. The way he was trying so hard to remain in control for Alex’s sake... the undeniable heat radiating off his body... something hit Alex just then and would have knocked him on his ass had Fox not been holding on to him. He took in a great gulp of air and let it out in a shuddering breath, then he slowly and deliberately smoothed Fox’s shirt away from his shoulders and pulled it down his arms.

Fox assisted Alex in his task, and when his shirt hit the floor, he watched, mesmerized as Alex backed off half a step and stared intently into his eyes.

Counting silently to three, Alex pulled off his own shirt and let it drop on top of Fox’s. He watched Fox through the veil of his lashes and waited. For a change of mind. Some sign of rejection, subtle or otherwise. All he saw was silent wonder... cautious elation. And burning desire simmering beneath it all. His cock throbbed in response, and it was his intent to let Fox know it. Stepping closer, he pressed his body against the older man’s and let his hands slide over his hips.

A soft, clipped moan escaped on Fox’s next breath as Alex gently gripped his rear and ground his crotch against him. His lids dropped shut then rose sluggishly as he tried to focus on the younger man’s face.

"Alex..."

"Hmm?"

Fox’s hands rose to Alex’s hips, and he tipped his head to the left as Alex began kissing the right side of his neck.

"...What’re you doing to me?"

Alex broke the contact between his lips and Fox’s neck but remained close enough that the older man could feel his warm breath fanning his skin.

"Should I stop?"

"Shit, no. I just... I... I just..."

Alex pulled far enough away to see Fox’s eyes.

"...You just what?"

Fox swallowed hard and shook his head. "I don’t know," he breathed, and then he was submitting to a fiery kiss. He wasn’t sure exactly where this was headed, but if it was going to stop, Alex was going to have to be the one to do it; he hadn’t the strength.

"I love you," Alex rasped into Fox’s mouth as he pulled the other man’s hips more tightly against his. "I need this to be real. Make it real, Fox."

How his knees didn’t give out on him, Fox had no idea. But Alex made a request. And he’d be goddamned if he wasn’t going to fulfill it. Nose to nose with the younger man, he took two fortifying breaths then grasped Alex’s hand.

"Come with me."

Alex followed him into the bedroom then stood holding his breath as Fox put several inches distance between them and stared at him. Just when he thought he couldn’t take another second of it, Fox reached out and grazed the length of his scar with the tips of his fingers. Alex shuddered at his touch, but he didn’t back down. He stood his ground, keeping his gaze fixed on the other man, waiting for his attention to return to his face. Soon enough it did, and Fox stroked one fingertip along the waistband of his pants.

"If you find that you’re not as sure as you thought... if at any time you change your mind..."

"I won’t."

He hoped the words came out with as much confidence as he’d intended them to. He thought they had. But just in case, he stepped forward and laid his hands on Fox’s chest.

"I need you," he whispered in as seductive a tone as he could muster, then he brushed his cheek over Fox’s. "I want you," he moaned. "I can’t find the words to tell you how much."

Fox’s eyes rolled up into his head, and his lashes fell over them as he pulled Alex into a fierce embrace and laid a searing kiss on him. Alex matched his lover’s fervor, stroking his hands restlessly over the long, lean back and raking his fingers through his hair. Fox worked a hand between them and tugged at Alex’s pants button then jerked the zipper down, making it easier to slip his hands inside. They stroked over the curve of Alex’s ass then pulled him in closer, fitting their hips tightly together.

The combined sensations of Fox’s hands in his pants and their very rigid cocks pressing together brought Alex dangerously close to the edge. He reacted reflexively to the stimulation, throwing his head back and breaking the kiss, and a rumbling gasp escaped his throat. Fox took full advantage of his position, fastening his mouth to the exposed throat, sucking and nipping at his fragile skin. Alex bucked against him, sobbing his name as the older man marked him as he had been marked two nights before. The pleasure of the possessive act ricocheted through him, pushing him closer and closer to a violent explosion, and then it was gone.

Fox shushed Alex’s whimpered protest and soothed the small wound with his tongue, then he came in for another kiss, this one much more tender than the last. Spiraling passion melted into sweet patience, and Alex slowly threaded his fingers through Fox’s hair, submitting to teasing kisses. His thrashing pulse subsided a bit, and one hand left Fox’s hair, traveling down the older man’s chest to his pants. Carefully, he undid the fastenings then brushed his knuckles over the imposing bulge. A breathy moan left his lips as the stony erection twitched under his touch, and his head began to swim with images of Fox lying naked beneath him, sighing his name as he licked every inch of his cock. His own erection strained against its constrictions at the thought, and all at once he couldn’t wait.

Fox’s breath left him in a rush as Alex began pulling his pants down. When he’d gone as far as he could without breaking contact with Fox’s mouth, he pulled away, meeting his lover’s eyes. Twin pools of shimmering green and gold stared back, and Fox stood silently, chest heaving with anticipation. Alex paused for a short while longer, then he resumed the task of relieving Fox of the rest of his clothing. When it was done, he stood frozen, staring in awe at the naked form of his soul’s deepest desire.

"...I knew you’d be this beautiful."

Fox’s mouth twitched into a tiny smile at the softly uttered statement. He moved closer and reached for Alex’s zipper, toying with the little metal fastening. His gaze, blazing beneath the tranquil surface, electrified Alex and made his insides quiver.

"I was thinking the same thing about you."

Alex stood his ground, though the quivering increased as he let Fox draw the zipper down and slip his hands inside his pants. Warm hands slid the material downward. Once the pants reached his knees, Fox let them drop to the floor then reached for Alex’s underwear. The men took a deep breath in unison, and Fox began to work them off at a painfully slow pace. Not to tease, but to give the younger man yet another opportunity to change his mind.

Alex kept his eyes on Fox’s, telling him without words that there was no backing down. This was going to happen. It was what he’d wanted for years, and there was no way he could deny himself any longer. He knew he should, but these few days with Fox had broken him down. Raw need had shredded his will to tiny unsalvageable bits. From here on out, Fox Mulder would be his lover in every way he could be, and that, he thought fiercely to himself, was that.

Fox finished removing Alex’s clothing and pushed them aside with his foot. His eyes followed his hands as they moved lovingly over the younger man’s fever-warm skin. "You okay?" He asked softly, intent on not letting overwhelming passion blind him to any sort of discomfort that Alex may be feeling.

"Fox..." Alex wrapped his arms around the older man and pressed their naked bodies together. He brushed his mouth against Fox’s and breathed against it, "...Make love to me."

Fox paused for a moment, letting the smoky plea sink in, then he pulled Alex into a deeply passionate kiss and backed him to the bed. They sank down to the mattress, Fox half covering Alex’s body with his own. One hand cradled the back of Alex’s head while the other wandered the length of his body, stroking and exploring.

"I never dreamed I’d touch you like this," he murmured, marveling at the feel of the other man’s flesh beneath his hands. "Now it’s all I want to do."

Alex’s eyes closed, and he arched against Fox’s hand.

"So beautiful." He skimmed the inside of Alex’s thigh, just barely brushing his fingertips over the base of the shivering man’s cock. Rewarded with a soft moan, he let his fingertips dance over the thickening shaft. It twitched and rose up against his hand, and Alex gasped his name. Fox brought his mouth down on the other man’s, drinking in another more desperate cry, and his hand encircled Alex’s cock, pumping slowly. A muffled, impatient groan reverberated in his mouth, traveling straight down through the middle of him and along the very swollen length of his own erection. He didn’t know how long he could last, yet, he was unsure of how to proceed. He’d hoped that it would just come naturally, but the closer he got to actually getting down to business, the less confident he became. So, he stuck with what he knew while his muddled brain tried to sort it all out.

Alex’s mouth dropped open, and a long sigh escaped it as Fox pulled away and licked a path from his jaw to the base of his throat, where he nipped gently at the fragile skin. His fingers clenched on Fox’s shoulders before threading through his hair and anchoring there. His breath came in ever shortening pants as the older man moved lower and began circling one of his nipples with the tip of his tongue.

"Fox... oh, God, Fox, please."

Alex wasn’t sure what he was pleading for. He knew what had to happen for two men to make love, but how the hell to get there? And once there, who would be the one to be on the receiving end? Well, he supposed he would, since he’d asked Fox to make love to him, and... shit. Oh, shit. Didn’t they need some sort of lubrication?

Fox sucked the nipple into his mouth, and in that instant, Alex couldn’t really give a good shit about who stuck what where and how, and how much more difficult it was going to be without lube and... and...

"Ahgod!" Alex sobbed, bucking as Fox’s tongue flicked back and forth over the tip of his nipple, and he began to beg.

"Can’t... Fox, I... please. Now... need... I n-need you..."

Fox slid up so that he and Alex were face to face. He stroked the younger man’s cheek then planted a few tender kisses on his parted lips. "I had bought some lube a couple of weeks ago," he whispered, and Alex sighed his acknowledgement. Fox chewed on his lower lip. "So uh... who..."

"You," Alex said, not needing Fox to finish the question. He looked up into gold-splashed eyes. "I want to..." He stopped, fighting the sudden rush of timidity, then he made himself go on. "...want to feel you inside me."

The words closed Fox’s eyes for a moment as he attempted to compose himself, then he opened them halfway and fixed an adoring gaze on the younger man.

"Yeah?"

Alex nodded.

"Okay. Okay, uh..."

Fox paused for a moment then stretched across Alex and pulled the top drawer open on the chest beside the bed. He pulled out the tube and fumbled with the cap. It hit the floor with a small clatter then rolled under the bed.

"Shit." He gave a second’s thought to fishing the cap out then changed his mind. Squeezing the tube, he cursed again when a very large glob of gel fell out into his palm. He moved his hand from side to side, trying to figure out what he was going to do with it all, then heaved a frustrated sigh and transferred some to his other hand. He applied the portion in his right hand to his cock and the other portion to Alex’s. The younger man squirmed, moaning softly, and Fox removed his hand quickly, leaving him frustrated.

"Sorry," he murmured, trying to soothe Alex, lifting a hand to his chest and caressing lightly.

Alex nodded, releasing a heavy breath, then he hauled Fox down into a demanding kiss. The older man grunted into his lover’s mouth and slid over him. He held himself up a bit, afraid to let the other bear all of his weight, but Alex insisted, wrapping his arms around Fox and pulling him down. He lifted off the mattress, arching up into Fox, then he hooked one leg over the older man’s hip and ground their cocks together, sending twin bolts of electricity through them both.

Fox tore his mouth away from Alex’s and buried his face in the curve of the younger man’s shoulder, gasping heavily. He allowed himself a few seconds then lifted his head and met Alex’s eyes as he adjusted his position and grasped his cock at the base. As gently as he could, he worked it between Alex’s cheeks.

"Help me," he whispered, and Alex lifted his other leg over his hip and tilted his pelvis until Fox was poised at his entrance. "There?" he asked, and Alex nodded. Pressing his lips together, he began to push as carefully as he could. Alex sucked in a quick breath and tightened up, and Fox stopped. "Sorry," he breathed. "I’m sorry, baby."

Alex took two long, calming breaths, and he encouraged Fox to continue.

"Okay. It’s okay..." He shifted, opening himself a bit more. "Go ahead,"

Fox tried to inch forward a bit more, but his fear of hurting Alex had softened him a bit and made the going more difficult. He let out a soft, frustrated groan and stopped again.

"What’s the matter?"

A troubled frown etched the older man’s features. "Can’t... I... this is harder than I thought."

"Oh," Alex sighed. "You wanna wait... maybe try again another time?"

"I... um... if you want to..."

Alex looked up into beautiful, repentant eyes, staring for a while before cradling Fox’s face between his hands and initiating a deep kiss. Fox’s tongue met his, stroking and teasing, and a low moan vibrated in his mouth. Alex lifted one leg higher and wrapped it around Fox’s waist, and his cock pulsed against the older man’s belly as the kiss grew more passionate. When they parted, Fox dragged his tongue across Alex’s lower lip then bit down gently on it. Alex’s soft whimper went straight to his cock, and it slowly began to revive. It didn’t go unnoticed, and Alex offered incentive, writhing and sobbing his name. Soon enough he came back to full hardness, and he found the confidence to try again.

Alex hugged Fox to him, breathing soft encouragement as the older man found and began to breach his tight entrance. He gritted his teeth but refused to offer any sort of reaction that might give Fox the impression that he was hurting him. He turned his face into the curve of Fox’s shoulder, grazing the side of his lover’s neck with his teeth, then he closed them on Fox’s earlobe, pulling gently.

Fox got the head of his cock completely buried inside of Alex, and he paused, gasping a few ragged breaths. Those few moments gave Alex the opportunity to adjust to his presence, and he kissed the other man’s ear and whispered into it as he slowly caressed his back.

"Want all... all of you... give it to me..."

He didn’t know if he could actually physically take all of the sizable erection, but damn, he really did want it.

The request rattled Fox, and it took him several seconds more to calm himself enough to continue. Still afraid to cause Alex any pain, he advanced cautiously, sinking a centimeter at a time into the younger man. Alex’s eyes fluttered closed, and he battled to keep his breathing even as he was filled beyond the point of endurance. He inhaled deeply and told himself to relax and keep his muscles loose, but it was far from easy when he was being stretched past any reasonable limits.

Couldn’t have fallen in love with someone with a normal sized pecker, could you? Nooooooo, no. You had to pick on somebody who could make a good living as a porn star...

He supposed that once he got used to it, he’d be giving thanks for Fox’s generous proportions, but for now, he was just hoping to survive.

Fox dropped his head, his breathless, choking gasps muffled in the warmth of Alex’s shoulder as he completed their connection. Alex grimaced, unseen by the man wrapped in his arms, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before concentrating on getting his respiration under control.

"I’m hurting you..." Fox wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t realize it. He went still, lifting only his head and staring down into the unmistakably pained features of the man beneath him, and he waited for an answer.

"...It hurts," Alex admitted then lifted a hand to Fox’s cheek. Before he could say any more, Fox frowned and began to move away. Alex stopped him quickly, sliding his hand around to the back of his head and grasping a fistful of hair. "No."

Fox blinked. "But..."

"Don’t stop," Alex pleaded, tightening his hold on Fox’s hair. "I love you," he whispered, brushing his mouth over Fox’s. "I want to be yours."

A long, shuddering sigh flowed over Alex’s lips, and then Fox covered them in a hungry kiss. He started to move carefully, for Alex and for himself... although, even this slow, easy partial withdrawal was more stimulation than he thought he could take. And judging from the sounds that Alex was doing his damndest to choke back, it was far from being a cakewalk for him either, though Fox doubted that it was overwhelming pleasure that the other man was feeling right now. He silently congratulated himself for having pulled out more than halfway without exploding, then he sank back in and stopped again.

"How..." He swallowed and tried again to speak without his voice trembling. "...Are you all right?"

"I’m okay," Alex promised, stroking Fox’s back. It wasn’t a lie... not much of one, anyway. While trying to take Fox’s length and girth was no easy feat, especially for a man who had never had anything larger than a doctor’s finger in his ass, Alex had found that the almost unbearable pain was subsiding, and now it had become merely uncomfortable. And he could think about what was happening.

He’d imagined this night for years, playing it over and over in his mind. The scenario was never exactly the same. Sometimes it was tender. Sometimes passionate. Other times it was downright dirty, but in each fantasy, he’d ended up under Fox, being driven to a mind-bending orgasm. He’d thought about what it would feel like to lie with Fox after it was over, touching, caressing... hearing his voice, sweet and rough with spent passion, declaring his unending love. He’d imagined how incredible it would all be, but...

Fox withdrew with a fraction more of confidence then slid home, pushing in as far as he could go, and Alex arched sharply beneath him as a riot of sensation exploded through him. A harsh cry ripped from his throat, and he convulsed all around the older man.

"God," he choked. "Oh, God..." He didn’t give Fox the chance to react. He tightened his legs around the other’s waist, and he rocked against him. "Again," he sobbed, and Fox obeyed. A loud gurgling gasp rose into the air, giving Fox all the encouragement he needed to continue.

His imagination had nothing on this... this feeling. It was beyond incredible. It was shattering. It was... Christ, it was...

Fox moved faster, now continuously thrusting into his lover. He was a breath away from orgasm, and though his mind had almost completely shut down, something, somewhere in the back of it reminded him to take Alex with him. Working a hand between them, he grasped Alex’s slick cock, squeezing and stroking awkwardly. It was enough to drive the younger man into a frenzy. He bucked against Fox, sobbing incoherent, broken words. His hands couldn’t stay still, stroking, clawing, clenching on Fox’s back. It took Fox screaming over the edge, and Alex followed a scant few seconds later, soaking the other man’s fist with three long bursts of warm semen. Fox shuddered violently then collapsed on top of the younger man, his hand trapped between them. For several moments, the two lay together, gasping for breath, too weak to move. When Fox regained his senses, he lifted himself away from Alex, gently disengaging and incurring a low moan from the younger man. He fell to the mattress beside Alex, snuggling into his lover’s side and wrapping an arm around his waist. He pressed a kiss to Alex’s temple and then his cheek.

Sable lashes lifted halfway, and Alex rolled to face the older man. Glittering green eyes met glazed hazel, and the glitter quickly turned to a heavy mist. Concern wrinkled Fox’s brow, and he lifted a hand to Alex’s cheek, sweeping the bone with his thumb.

"You okay, baby?"

Alex sucked his lower lip into his mouth, and he nodded, afraid that if he spoke, it would release the tears that now burned the backs of his eyes. Fox stared, trying to read the riotous jumble of emotion swirling in his lover’s eyes.

"I’m sorry I hurt you," he whispered. He paused then opened his mouth to say more, but Alex broke in quickly.

"No." He shook his head, beginning to lose the fight to keep his tears corralled. "Don’t apologize." One tear ran over the bridge of his nose. "I’ve wanted this for longer than I can say, and... and it... it was..." Another tear dropped. "If there had to be pain every time we... I’d take it gladly... because it’s you." He trembled. "It’s you. You... you don’t know what it means, how amazing it is to know that I’m yours. Not just in my mind, but for real."

Fox gathered Alex into his arms as the younger man began to weep in earnest. "It’s for real," he said almost inaudibly. "And it’s not one-sided." He tightened his arms then loosened them slightly. "I’m yours."

Alex clung to Fox sniffing softly for a while, then he lifted his eyes to the older man’s. Fox swept the back of his hand across his lover’s cheek and gave him a sweet smile.

"So, you’re not going to take out a restraining order on me or anything?"

Alex returned the smile. "Not on your life."

"That’s good." The tiny smile fell away from Fox’s lips. "I was kind of scared that you might have decided that making love with me wasn’t all you’d hoped it would be. I would have lost my mind if I you didn’t want me to touch you anymore." He grazed the line of Alex’s lower lip with his thumb as he held his gaze. "You’ve become an instant addiction."

Alex stared for all of thirty seconds, letting Fox’s words sink in, then he moved in and brushed the older man’s mouth with his own. The act released a soft moan from Fox’s throat, and he claimed a tender kiss. When he released Alex’s mouth, he hugged the younger man to his chest

"I love you," he murmured combing his fingers through the fringe of sable hair at the back of his lover’s head. "And the thing is... they’re not just words I’m saying, you know? I’m not just basking in the afterglow. I... I feel it. Way down deep... in every part of me. "I love you, Alex... Do you believe that?"

Alex closed his eyes for a moment then opened them and pulled back to look into Fox’s face.

"...I believe it. I still don’t know how it’s possible, but I do believe it." A hint of a smile played at his lips. "We’re in love... How unimaginably insane is that?"

Fox chuckled and again pulled the younger man against him. "Outrageous. Yet, here we are." He stroked Alex’s bare back. "And we just consummated it," he said, his tone full of hushed wonder. "How about that for crazy?"

Alex sighed his acknowledgment then uttered a soft thank you.

Fox rested his cheek on Alex’s head and frowned.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"...For pushing me... for not letting this all go to hell."

"Ultimately, Alex, it was you who made that decision," Fox reminded the other man, kissing the top of his head.

"Because you kept after me. You could have given up so many times, but you wouldn’t." He looked up at Fox, eyes shining. "My man the pit bull."

Fox gave Alex a toothy grin. "I like that."

"What?"

"Your man."

"Oh."

"That’s a song, isn’t it?"

"I wouldn’t know."

Fox began to sing softly.

"I-I-I wanna be your man."

"Oh, God," Alex groaned. "I think we just found something you don’t do well."

Fox gave him an exaggerated pout. "You don’t want me to sing to you?"

Alex stroked the other man’s cheek soothingly. "Awww... no."

The pout turned into an all out sulk.

"Fine."

Alex broke into laughter. "Don’t be mad," he cooed, giving the other man a quick peck. "Okay, you can sing to me."

"Don’t want to, now."

"Come on..."

"Nope."

A huge smile lit Alex’s face. "Okay."

"You jerk!"

Cackling, Alex wrapped his arms around Fox as the older man tried to push himself away. "I’m sorry," he said, his voice syrupy sweet. "You’re damn sexy when you pout like that, you know."

Fox stopped his half-hearted struggles, and he looked at Alex. "...I am?"

Alex nodded.

"Well... maybe I’ll forgive you for being so mean to me."

Alex’s lips whispered over Fox’s. "Maybe?"

"Oh. What? You think you’re gonna reel me in with that? I’m not that easy, you know. In fact..."

Alex shut him up with a scorching kiss. He sighed softly into the other man’s mouth, threading his fingers through his hair, and he felt his cock begin to harden again. Alex pulled out of the kiss but stayed close enough that their lips touched. Fox writhed gently against him, making his arousal known. His breath flowed over Alex’s mouth as he spoke softly.

"Okay, maybe I am that easy."

Alex pressed back, letting Fox feel his own lengthening erection.

"Lucky me."

Fox grinned and coaxed Alex into another kiss. Two more, and then he shifted away, rubbing the length of the younger man’s back. Alex moaned in complaint and tried to snuggle closer, but Fox stopped him.

"Okay let’s settle down, now."

It was Alex’s turn to pout. Fox smiled and kissed the younger man’s forehead.

"You don’t want to overdo it."

Alex knew he was right. Sighing, he acquiesced, and Fox wrapped him in a snug embrace.

"Tomorrow night it’ll be my turn."

"You mean tonight."

"Oh. Well, yeah." He tightened his arms around his lover. "Tonight you’ll be inside me."

The incredible thought closed Alex’s eyes. He turned his face into Fox’s chest, kissing the very warm flesh.

"Happy birthday to me."

A low chuckle rumbled against his cheek. He deposited another kiss on Fox’s chest then one at the base of his throat.

"I love you."

Generous lips curved up into a weary smile. "Used to saying it yet?"

"I don’t know if I’d say that I was used to it... it feels so... it’s an incredible high, you know? The more I say it, the more I want to say it. I feel like I want to make up for all those years that I wasn’t able to."

"I wish I hadn’t spent all that time hating you," Fox sighed.

"It isn’t like you hated me for no good reason," Alex reminded the older man.

"I know, but it seems like such a gross waste of energy now," Fox answered, stroking the underside of the other man’s jaw. "Now all I want to do is love you."

"You won’t get any argument from me."

Fox raised an eyebrow, and Alex gave him a sheepish grin.

"Well, you know... not any more."

Chuckling softly, Fox rolled onto his back, pulling Alex with him. The younger man rested his head on his lover’s chest and closed his eyes.

"Are we going to sleep now?"

"You tired?"

Right on cue, Alex yawned. "Yeah, I... actually, I am."

"Me too."

Nothing more was said. Alex slowly drew his hand over the expanse of Fox’s chest, petting the sprinkling of golden-brown hairs. The action lulled Fox and himself as well, and a very short time later, both men had fallen into a deep, contented sleep.

Alex was waking. There was light beyond his fluttering lids, and a gentle warmth traveled down the length of his chest then whispered upward. Tender kisses rained down on his face, and a low voice, husky from hours of sleep sounded in his ear.

"Morning, beautiful."

Sable lashes lifted, and Alex twisted his head to the left, looking into a soft, gray-green gaze. He smiled and closed his eyes, turning to snuggle into Fox’s warmth. Everywhere, skin touched skin, and he realized that they had fallen asleep naked. That understanding sent a jolt of energy through every nerve even as overwhelming peace flooded his consciousness.

"Morning... what time is it?"

"A little after nine." Fox yawned and wound his arms around the other man. "How do you feel?"

Alex stretched and moaned. "A little sore."

"Awww."

"S’okay," Alex murmured, nuzzling the curve of Fox’s neck. "It’s kind of nice."

Fox pulled back to give him a curious look.

"How is soreness nice?"

Alex watched his finger as he drew it over Fox’s jaw and across his bottom lip.

"...Because you made it."

One corner of Fox’s mouth turned upward.

"Oh. So... happy birthday."

Alex accepted a brief kiss.

"Thanks."

"How ‘bout breakfast?"

"’Kay."

"You stay put. I’ll get it."

Alex frowned as Fox let him go and got out of bed.

"Uh. W-what..."

"Breakfast in bed," Fox explained, gathering up some clothing. Alex watched him, admiring the long, lean frame, tight ass and very noticeable morning erection. He bit back a groan as he remembered how just a few hours earlier, it had been inside him.

Fox heard the sound and turned to face the bed.

"You say something?"

"Uh..." Alex’s gaze wandered the length of Fox’s body. "No. N-no. I didn’t say anything."

A tiny smile twitched at the corner of Fox’s mouth as he stood, quietly observing Alex. So intently was the other man staring at him, that he didn’t notice right away that he was being watched. When his eyes finally rose to Fox’s face, he dropped them away, and his cheeks flushed. Fox’s smile widened a bit.

"Hey."

Alex sucked in one corner of his lip. He glanced at the mildly amused man then looked quickly away.

"...Hmm?"

"I like that you’re looking at me. I also really like that look in your eyes."

Alex’s gaze again returned to Fox, this time focusing on the older man’s nose.

"...Look?"

"Mmm hmm... hungry."

Alex swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. "I..." He paused and shrugged. "I could do with some breakfast," he murmured coyly.

"That look’s got nothing to do with food."

The observation locked Alex’s eyes on Fox’s. Several seconds passed before the other man advanced and came to stand beside the bed. He leaned over, planting a hand on either side of Alex’s head.

"...Does it?"

Alex stared at the man now only inches away. His answer came out on a tiny croak.

"..No."

"Do you want me?"

Alex’s breath left him in a sharp huff. He nodded as Fox moved close enough to kiss. Plush lips parted and brushed across his own, then Fox’s tongue slipped into his mouth for the briefest of moments and disappeared. Alex followed, skimming the interior of his lover’s mouth before finding what he was looking for. Their tongues twined around each other, stroking and teasing as Fox pulled the sheet away from Alex’s body then swung a leg over him and straddled his hips. He pulled out of the kiss and, sitting astride the younger man, stroked both hands gently over his chest.

"You ever think about what it would feel like to be inside me?"

Alex opened his mouth to say something, thought about it, then looked away as he shook his head.

Fox’s hands continued their circular journey. "Never?" he asked, quietly surprised.

Another shake of the sable head.

"Why not?"

"...I don’t... I guess I just... any time I’d imagined anything happening between us, it was always on your terms, and I... I always figured that there’d be no way that you’d ever put that kind of trust in me."

Fox stared for an uncomfortable length of time then rolled gracefully off of Alex and onto his back, pulling the younger man on top of him.

"At one time that might have been true."

"At one time you never would have imagined anything like this."

"True... at one time. Now I’m here, lying under the man I love, and I’m asking him please..." Fox raked his fingers through Alex’s hair. "Please make love to me."

A hard shudder passed through Alex, and he sank into a long, luxurious kiss. Fox’s fingers clenched in his hair, and one long leg hooked over his hip. A soft moan vibrated on his lips as Fox squirmed against him. The feel of the other man’s hardening body rubbing against his quickly fueled his desire to the point of desperate need. He tore his mouth from Fox’s and took in several gasping breaths, attempting to stamp down the rising lust before it overtook him. But dragging things out wasn’t high on Fox’s priorities list. He lifted his head off the pillow, kissing and nipping at Alex’s throat as he groped for the lube he’d left on the table beside the bed last night.

"I need you," he rasped, wrapping his other leg around the younger man and squeezing them tightly together.

Alex answered with a rough groan. "Fox," he croaked through gritted teeth, "God, Fox..."

Fox rocked gently against him, ratcheting the heat up another few notches, then he engaged him in another kiss as he squeezed some lube into his hand. Working it between them, he wrapped his fingers around Alex’s cock and slowly stroked its stony length. The younger man whimpered into his mouth as he arched into his fist. Fox broke the kiss and gave Alex a slight shake of his head.

"Ah ah ah," he admonished softly, removing his hand. "Not yet. Not in my hand." He licked Alex’s lower lip. "In my ass."

Alex released a trembling breath.

"Jesus."

"Come on, baby," Fox moaned seductively in the other man’s ear. "Give it to me."

This was the guy who’d never fucked or been fucked by another man? Damn. He seemed so certain. So... willing. Alex would have thought that having witnessed his discomfort the night before, Fox would have not been quite so anxious to experience his own, but here he was, writhing against him, pleading for it.

He was in love with a wacko.

Taking a deep breath, he grasped his cock at the base and cautiously guided it to the small opening. Fox’s respiration increased, and every exhale came out on an excited moan. As gently as he could, Alex pushed forward, feeling the tight muscle slowly give. Fox’s mouth fell open, and a pained gasp escaped it, but he wouldn’t allow Alex to stop.

"Don’t... please. Want it..." He pushed against the younger man, gritting his teeth. "Do it, Alex."

Shaking off the last thought, he drew two deep breaths and tucked his hand under Fox’s hips to hold him steady, and he inched forward. A rough hum rolled in Fox’s throat as his eyes squeezed shut, and he clutched at the younger man’s shoulders.

"God..." A long, wheezing sigh sounded in Alex’s ear as he completed their union. "Baby..." Fox pushed against him, moaning, and his muscles tightened, trapping Alex inside. Alex let out a sharp grunt, then he took in several broken breaths in an attempt to calm himself. He’d almost succeeded when Fox began rocking against him, whimpering his name.

"Fox... oh... oh, Jesus, Fox..."

Alex began to thrust awkwardly, and the incredible sensations it produced rocked him to his core. To say that it would take only minutes before he lost complete control would have been a generous prediction at best. Every nerve in his body was in an uproar. His head was spinning, filled with the strained cries of the man beneath him. He couldn’t hold it. Thunderous pleasure overtook him as he and Fox bucked against each other. His lover’s cock, trapped between their thrashing bodies received the stimulation it needed, and Fox followed him, sobbing and choking as he came. Alex shuddered as he emptied himself into the other man then collapsed on top of him. Chests heaving, they clung to each other until long minutes later, Alex found the strength to lift his head. Fox stared up into his half-closed eyes and gave him a weary smile.

"Cool."

"...Cool."

Still smiling, Fox nodded. He wound his arms around Alex and pulled him down for a long kiss. He released the younger man and favored him with a soft gaze. His answer came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah."

Alex closed his eyes as Fox reached up and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I was thinking more like... incredible... unimaginable... Fox?"

"Hmm?"

"When I open my eyes... will I find that none of this ever happened?"

His answer came immediately, in that low, comforting tone that in such a short time he’d come to depend on.

"Try it and see what happens."

After a few second’s pause, Alex obeyed and looked down into sparkling green and gold eyes.

"See? Still here. Still in bed." Fox gave him a seductive smirk. "And uh... in case you hadn’t noticed..." He tightened his legs around the younger man’s hips and pushed lazily against him, forcing a soft sigh. "...you’re still inside me."

"Hard not to notice," Alex breathed as his body involuntarily bucked against Fox’s. The other man moaned and raised his head high enough to lick a moist trail from the base of Alex’s throat to his chin. He squeezed the muscles still surrounding Alex’s embedded cock, prompting a soft curse.

"Fuck me again, Alex."

Alex’s breath left him in a hard rush.

"What?"

Fox squirmed lewdly against his lover. "You’re getting harder." He squeezed again. "I can feel you. Fuck me again. Please."

Alex opened his mouth but nothing intelligible would come out. He watched the uneven dilation of Fox’s eyes and felt the older man’s cock pulse between them, and he began to thrust cautiously.

Eyes still fixed on the other man’s face, Fox gave him a serene smile. "It’s okay," he said. "You don’t have to be so careful. There’s no more pain."

"You sure?" Alex asked unevenly.

"I’m sure," Fox promised, taking one of Alex’s hands and kissing it before moving it between them. Alex needed no more coaxing than that. He wrapped his hand around Fox’s revived cock and pumped it gently as he covered the older man’s mouth with his own. Despite Fox’s assurances, Alex continued to thrust slowly, trying not only to keep from causing him any more pain, but in the attempt to prolong the moment for as long as his impatient body would allow.

The soft ping that signaled that Fox had an incoming text message went unheard. Neither man could focus on anything other than the heated moans of the other and the mind-blowing reality in which they now existed.

Perspiration prickled Alex’s skin, the beads gathering and rolling slowly down the contours of his back as he held on to control by the narrowest of margins. Unable to concentrate fully on keeping his hand moving with a slow and steady rhythm, he began to stroke his lover’s cock at an uneven pace, alternately jerking it quickly then slowing to a virtual stop for several seconds at a time. His respiration came in ragged gusts, exiting his nose and mouth as he repeatedly broke and re-initiated contact with Fox’s lips. Every kiss was more demanding than the last, and Fox met each one with matching passion. He lifted his hips, pushing hard against Alex as they came together, and an electric surge buzzed along his spine. A deep shudder rolled through him, and a harsh moan broke past his lips as he clutched desperately at the younger man.

"God... ah..."

Shit. That feeling... that was... Christ, that was amazing. Fox knew something about the pleasures of prostate stimulation, but beyond his annual exam, he’d never been touched there. That was amazing. He had to feel it again. He duplicated the action, and his reaction was the same.

Alex caught on, and he took the next stroke deeper. Fox’s broken cry told him that he was right on target, and he continued, though his pace grew more erratic as he and Fox drew closer to what promised to be an explosive conclusion. He reached it first, growling and sobbing as his fingers convulsed around his lover’s cock. Fox was right behind him, his guttural moans rolling deep in his throat, and when it was done, Alex crumpled against the older man’s chest, gasping for air. Fox wrapped his arms around him and planted a few kisses in his hair.

"Are you all right?"

Alex nodded and, heaving a long breath, pulled out of Fox and started to lift himself off of the older man.

"Where are you going?" Fox asked, employing what little strength he had left to keep Alex where he was. Alex didn’t struggle against the restraining arms; he simply relaxed into Fox’s warmth and laid his head on the other man’s chest.

"Didn’t want to crush you."

"You’re not."

Quiet descended on the room for a while, then Alex lifted his head and looked down into glowing eyes.

"Remember what you said last night?"

Fox frowned up at his lover. "I said a lot of stuff last night," he said. "You wanna narrow it down a bit?"

"About instant addictions."

"Oh. Yeah. You know what I meant, now?"

"...Yeah. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this."

Fox gave the younger man a knowing little smile and a faint shake of his head. Alex returned the smile, then it faded.

"The thought that in a couple of weeks I’ll be lying in an empty bed is way more than I can deal with."

"I know." Fox’s hand traveled the length of Alex’s back for a few seconds, then it froze.

"Shit."

A curious frown creased Alex’s forehead. Fox’s gaze lifted to the ceiling, and his mouth dropped open.

"Aaahhhh, shit!"

Alex rolled off of Fox, and the older man sprang off the bed and began to pace madly. He sat up and watched, worried and more than a little confused.

"Fox?"

"What the hell is wrong with me? What was I thinking?"

Fear chilled Alex’s blood. "W-what is it?" he asked, wrapping his arms around himself.

Fox whirled around to face Alex, fixing a wild-eyed stare on him.

"Who are the Gunmen going to look for?"

The fear subsided a bit. "Jeremiah Smith," Alex answered softly. "But what..."

Fox continued to stare. "Say it again," he commanded, willing Alex to make the connection.

"Jeremiah... Fox... are you thinking that..."

"Jesus Christ, where’s my mind been?" Fox paused for half a beat then spun around to snatch his cell phone off the table. "I gotta call the guys." He stopped again, looking curiously at the display. He pressed a couple of buttons then inhaled sharply. From the bed, Alex cocked his head.

"What?"

Fox looked from the phone to Alex, then he moved closer to the bed and showed him what was on the display.

"Atta boy." Alex raised his eyes to Fox’s. "...Samantha?"

Fox’s mouth curled into a smile, but there was a touch of sadness in his eyes.

"Has to be. No name or number came up with it."

Alex nodded and dropped his gaze for a moment, then he looked up at the other man.

"What do you think she means by it?"

"If I had to guess? I’d say she was offering her congratulations for last night. Or this morning... or last night and this morning."

Alex’s gaze dropped back to the phone before again focusing on Fox.

"You think?"

Fox nodded then looked up at the ceiling. "Thanks, Samantha." He drew in a long breath then let it out slowly. Alex watched silently as he studied the message for a few seconds more then began searching through his phonebook. Finding the number he wanted, he called it and waited for only a short while before someone picked up.

"Byers. It’s me. What’s going on?" Fox sat on the edge of the bed and listened to Byers’ update. He turned his head to left and nuzzled Alex’s cheek as the younger man moved up behind him, draping an arm over one shoulder and resting his chin on the other. "...Uh huh... yeah. Okay, well, there’s a little change of plan, When you find him, I need to talk to him. I mean, show him the proof that I’m the one who sent you, but then tell him that it’s very important that I speak with him... yeah. No, nothing new has happened; just something that I hadn’t thought about until just a little while ago... okay. Thanks, guys. Keep in touch." He disconnected and tapped the phone against his leg.

"Where are they?"

"Dulles. Byers and Langly couldn’t get a flight out until this morning. Frohike is staying behind. They’ll call when they get there."

"’Kay." Alex went quiet for a moment, then he tapped the older man’s chest. "Fox?"

"Hmm?"

"This may not work out the way you’re thinking. They may not be able to find him. And if they do, he may not be willing to risk Spender finding out about him. We couldn’t blame him for that."

"He’ll help," Fox said with certainty. He took the hand resting against his chest and kissed the back of it. "It’s what he does."

Alex didn’t argue. He rested his cheek against Fox’s shoulder and considered the possibility of being completely free of Spender. Of never having to face being separated from Fox. He closed his eyes, put aside a lot of nagging thoughts, and let himself believe.

Scully lifted the chunk of sweet and sour chicken to her mouth and stuffed it in just as the doorbell sounded. Peter sent a wide-eyed glance in her direction as he dropped his chop sticks to his plate.

"Your mother?"

"Nah. I don’t think... she wouldn’t drop in on me again without notice." She got up from the sofa. "I’d say maybe it was Mulder and your brother, but I’m sure they’re tucked away in some dark, cozy little restaurant, making goo goo eyes at each other." Reaching the door, she looked through the peephole. At first she saw nothing, but a downward glance corrected that. A cross between a groan and a laugh stoked Peter’s curiosity, and then she opened the door. At first he couldn’t see who was there, but then Scully greeted the visitor and moved half a step to the right, and a short, scruffy looking man in a leather jacket and fingerless gloves came into view. In one hand he held a bouquet of daisies, and in the other, a bottle of what Peter could only assume was wine.

"So, uh... what’s all this, Frohike?"

"Well, Langly and Byers are, you know... gone... I was kicking around at home all by myself, feeling kind of lonely, and I know that Mulder’s all involved with his rat toy, so I figured you’d probably be stag tonight, too, so..."

"Oh, boy," Scully muttered to herself then gave Frohike a sympathetic smile. "Actually, uh... I... I’m not alone."

"Oh. Your mom visiting you?"

"Mmmmnnno."

"Brother?"

Lips pressed together, Scully shook her head.

At that point, Peter sensed that she was in need of help. He stood up, making his presence known. Frohike’s eyes went to him immediately. Peter raised his hand and uttered a soft hello. Frohike sized up the much taller, good looking man then turned an accusing gaze on Scully.

"Insurance man? Jehova’s Witness?"

"God," Scully sighed. "No. Frohike... come on in."

Frohike stepped past the woman and moved into the living room, glaring up at the other man. Peter stared back, unsure what to make of the odd little man. Scully stepped around Frohike and stopped when there was a man on either side of her.

"Peter, this Melvin Froihike. An... associate of mine and Mulder’s. Frohike, Peter Tate." He was going to find out sooner or later, so Scully figured she might as well get it out of the way right now. "Peter and I have been seeing each other for a little while."

Frohike’s expression grew more sour. "Really. You kids meet at work?"

"No." Oh, God. "No, actually, Peter is Alex Krycek’s brother."

Frohike fell over himself in a desperate attempt to back quickly away from the other man. Scully reached out to steady him.

"Frohike..."

"There’s more of him?? What the hell’s wrong with you and Mulder?" He shouted, shock registering in his grizzled face.

"Take it easy, Frohike."

"Take it easy? Judas Priest, Scully! Have you both lost your minds?" Before Scully could answer, Frohike came up with what he thought was the obvious answer. "Wait a minute..." He faced Peter and pointed a stubby finger at him. "You drugged them, didn’t you?"

"Huh?"

"Oh my God!"

"Frohike..."

"It all makes sense now. That’s why you’re not losing your mind over this Mulder and Krycek thing." He dropped the flowers and ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh, God. Scully... listen to me. Listen... come with me. I have to get you away from this... this... sibling of Satan. We’ll figure out what they gave you, and we’ll find an antidote. Then you can help us get Mulder away from Krycek."

"Knock it off, Frohike," Scully said, cuffing the distraught man off the back of his head. "Neither Mulder nor I are under any kind of chemical influence, okay?"

"You are, Scully, you are. How else would you explain your involvement with a Krycek?"

"I’m not a Krycek," Peter said finally. "He has his mother’s last name, and I have mine."

"But you have the same father," Frohike spat. "The same plotting, scheming, diabolical, conscienceless bastard."

Peter turned to Scully. "Well, he knows who my father is, all right."

The redhead raised her eyebrows. "Mmm. Listen. Frohike. I promise you, I have not been brainwashed. And Peter is not in league with his father. If he was, he would not be here. And Krycek wouldn’t be with Mulder. They hate him as much as any of us. More. With damn good reason. How much did Mulder tell you about what happened to Alex?"

"Not everything, apparently," Frohike said, glaring at Peter. "We had no idea about him."

"Well, now you do. So. We just sat down to eat." She waved her hand at the coffee table. "But there’s plenty. You want to join us?"

"I don’t think so," Frohike mumbled, casting an icy stare in Peter’s direction. "I don’t eat with the devil’s spawn."

Scully shrugged. "Suit yourself." She lifted the flowers from where Frohike had dropped them and gave the little man a sweet smile. "For me?"

Frohike snatched the bouquet back.

"No. I was on my way to visit myyyyy... mother’ s grave."

Peter lifted one eyebrow.

"And you’re bringing wine?"

"Yes, I’m bringing wine," Frohike snapped. "She was a connoisseur."

Peter bent at the knee and cocked his head. "Uh huh," he said. "Boone’s Farm was a favorite, was it?"

"Take a hike, brother rat."

Scully rolled her eyes. "Okay, Frohike. Nice of you to drop by." She led the man to the door. Before she could push him out, he spun around and tried once more to rescue her from certain disaster.

"Scully, please," he murmured. "You and Mulder are all that stand between that cigarette smoking scum and hell on earth. Don’t you think it’s just a little too convenient that his boys have managed to worm their way into both your lives? They’re trying to bring you down!"

"Mulder and I are at more of an advantage than we’ve ever been, and it’s because of Peter and Alex. It’s fine. Trust me. It’s fine."

"God, we’re all screwed." Frohike heaved a hard sigh. "Listen... I won’t hold this little... dalliance against you," he said confidentially. "I know it’s not your fault."

"Oh, for the love of... good bye, Frohike." Scully shoved him into the hall and shut the door then turned and leaned against it. "So..." she said to the smirking man. "That was Frohike."

"Uh huh." Peter stepped forward and took Scully’s hand. "Interesting company you and Mulder keep."

One red eyebrow arched high.

"Indeed, brother rat."

Chuckling, the two returned the sofa and their cooling dinner.

"Is your food okay?"

Chin resting in his hand, Fox stared longingly at his dinner companion.

"Yeah. Great."

"How would you know?" Alex asked, faintly amused. "You’ve hardly touched it."

"I’ve had enough to know it’s good."

"Are you not hungry?"

The right side of Fox’s mouth rose into a suggestive smile. Alex laughed softly and looked down at his plate.

"You’re bad."

"And you’re gorgeous. Do you know what that dark blue does to your eyes?"

Alex looked up at Fox and shook his head. "Do you know what these constant compliments are going to do to my ego?"

"Your point?"

A soft sigh rose from the other side of the table, and Alex lowered his eyes for a moment. When he looked up, Fox was still staring. He leaned forward, tapping his finger in front of the older man’s plate.

"Eat."

Fox shivered and moaned out a soft, "Ooooh."

"God," Alex breathed. "What?"

"You’re sexy when you’re being bossy."

"I give up," the younger man sighed and cut into his filet mignon.

Fox grinned and turned his attention briefly to his meal. Then, "Nice music, huh?"

Alex looked up at the jazz trio in the left-hand corner of the restaurant and nodded his agreement.

"They’re very good." He watched for a while longer then returned his attention to Fox. "I’ve never celebrated my birthday before. Not as an adult, anyway. Thank you."

"Thank you," Fox murmured, reaching out to stroke the back of Alex’s hand. "For letting me share it with you."

Alex turned his hand over, locking his fingers with the other man’s. He watched intently as Fox lifted his hand to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on it.

Dinner ended some twenty minutes later, and the two sat holding hands as they listened to the band. When the server appeared, carrying a Hostess orange cupcake with a candle in it, Alex lowered his head and began to laugh.

"Happy birthday, sir," the young woman offered with a cheery smile and set the cupcake in front of him. Alex gave her a soft thanks then shook his head at his grinning companion.

"You’re too much." He let out a long breath then blew out the candle before the wax started to run onto the smooth yellow frosting. Fox pulled the candle out then picked up the cupcake and held it up to Alex’s mouth. The younger man took a small bite then took the pastry out of Fox’s hand. He placed it back on its plate and cut it in half, offering one to his lover.

Instead of taking the cupcake out of Alex’s hand, Fox leaned forward, eyes still on the other man, and he took a bite out of the offering. Alex inhaled slowly and let it out on a soft moan. Fox picked up the other half, and they took turns feeding each other.

Alex’s body was screaming. Pleasurably painful tingles skipped up and down every nerve, and when he reached the last bite, he couldn’t resist the urge to bring Fox’s hand to his mouth and lick away the small amount of cream that was stuck to his fingers.

Chest rising and falling deeply, Fox watched the younger man’s tongue slither over the tips of his fingers. He saw the sinfully thick eyelashes lift, and he froze as a smoky green gaze fixed on him.

"Now who’s being bad?"

"Sorry," Alex whispered, closing his teeth on the pad of Fox’s middle finger, and stroking his tongue over the trapped portion.

"Like hell you are," Fox rumbled, equal amounts of admiration and lust saturating his tone.

Focusing a smoldering stare on the other man, Alex lifted one shoulder and let it drop.

One knee bouncing rhythmically, Fox watched Alex watching him. It wasn’t until the server arrived some five minutes later with the bill that the spell was broken. Fox paid it quickly then took Alex’s hand and led him out of the restaurant. Fingers linked, they walked side by side to the car.

"I was thinking maybe we could go for a drive. Or a walk if you want," Fox said. "Or a movie."

Alex stopped at the passenger’s side door and leaned against it. Close enough to touch, he brushed his mouth over Fox’s.

"Or?"

Fox smirked. "Orrrr..." The smile fell away as he moved closer, pinning Alex gently to the car. "I could take you home."

"Mmmm..." Alex brushed the tip of Fox’s nose with his own. "It’s early, yet. What’ll we do if we go back there now?"

"Anything you want," Fox murmured, coming as close to kissing Alex as he could without their lips actually touching. "It’s your birthday."

A trace of a smile formed on Alex’s lips before he captured Fox’s mouth in a tender kiss. "Anything I want?" he whispered after they parted.

"Jesus, yes," Fox breathed as he crushed the younger man against him and buried his face in the side of his neck.

Already well on its way to being erect, Alex’s cock swelled to full hardness at the sultry promise he heard in his lover’s voice. His eyes closed as he tilted his head to the side, giving Fox better access to his throat. Without a second’s hesitation, Fox accepted the offer, his mouth latching onto the delicate flesh. Alex’s fingers curled into his jacket, and an audible breath hissed past his lips. Pulse points throughout his body pounded in response to the possessive act. His cock strained against Fox’s, and his hands dropped down to the curve of the older man’s ass cupping the firm muscles as he ground gently against him.

Grunting softly, Fox pulled back a fraction and looked at the other man. "So, what do you want to do?" he asked, positive he knew what Alex would say.

"Let’s go for a ride."

Fox cocked his head and gave Alex a curious smile.

"Yeah?"

"You sound surprised."

"I just... I guess I didn’t expect that answer."

Alex stared. Fox drew a long breath and let it out.

"Okay, then. Let’s go."

Alex gave him a hint of a smile and got into the car. One more curious glance at the other man, and Fox started the engine and drove away. Five minutes into the ride, Alex turned in his seat and stared at the face shrouded in darkness. Out of the corner of his eye, Fox saw that he was being watched, and he smiled.

"What?"

"Nothing, I... it keeps hitting me that this is actually happening, and it just... it goes through me like this shock of electricity. I can’t stop being amazed."

Fox reached across the short distance and brushed Alex’s jaw with his fingertips. "I know what you mean," he murmured. He dropped his hand to Alex’s leg, letting it rest there, and they intertwined fingers, falling silent as Fox exited onto the highway. Twenty minutes later, they found themselves off the highway and on a deserted road in a setting that surely would have been beautiful in the light of day.

"Where’re we going?" Alex asked, squinting out the passenger’s side window.

"Not much farther," was all Fox would say, pulling Alex’s hand to his mouth. He planted a few soft kisses on the younger man’s knuckles and continued down the narrow road. Minutes later they arrived at a secluded spot, overlooking a starlit meadow.

"This is nice," Alex murmured. "How’d you know about it?"

In the near darkness of the car, Fox gave his lover a sheepish smile.

"Good spot for UFO watching."

Alex chuckled softly. "Should’ve known." He looked back at the view and reached for the door handle. Opening the door, he swung his legs out of the car and boosted himself to his feet. Fox followed his lead, and the couple walked around to the front of the car, simultaneously leaning against the hood.

"I come out here a lot," Fox whispered, careful not to disturb the silence. "Just... sit and watch. And think."

"Ever see anything?"

One corner of Fox’s mouth lifted. "Couple of times. Nothing I’d ever be able to prove."

"Scully ever come out with you?"

"...No. It always felt like someplace I should come to alone."

"You’re not alone now."

"Yeah." Fox stared at the sky for several seconds then turned his gaze to the other man. "Now it feels like someplace I should come with you."

Alex lowered his eyes and moved closer, stopping when their bodies were touching. Slowly, he dropped his head to the older man’s shoulder and closed his eyes as Fox’s arm wound around him. They remained that way for a long while, then Alex lifted his head and looked up at the sky.

"Such a clear night. It’s so easy to forget that there are this many stars up there when you’re in the city."

"I know. The last time I could remember seeing this many stars was when I was a kid on the Vineyard. Samantha and I used to lie in our backyard and look up at the sky, and I’d point out the constellations to her." Fox looked up, searching then pointed. "See there?"

Alex stared for a moment then nodded. "Big Dipper, right?"

"Yeah. Now look south." Fox’s finger moved. "See that really bright one?"

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, I think so."

"That’s Saturn."

Alex glanced at Fox then returned his attention to the sky. "Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm."

"What else do you see?"

"See those stars around Saturn? There, there... there... there. That’s Leo. Aaaand... there’s Virgo. I’d show you Aries, but you won’t be able to see it until the fall and winter."

"What’s Aries? I mean, I know it’s a zodiac sign, but..."

Fox laughed softly. "You don’t know much about this stuff, do you? Aries is your sign."

"Oh. What’s yours?"

"Libra. Can’t see that one until June."

Alex nodded and continued to stare. A chilly breeze broke the silence, rustling the still sleeping vegetation, and he shuddered as it caressed his exposed skin. Fox felt the vibration and pulled Alex in front of him then back, nestling him in the cradle of his body.

Alex’s lashes fluttered as the older man wrapped both arms around him and nuzzled the side of his neck, and a soft groan rolled in his throat. Fox held him in a snug embrace, breathing in his scent. "Have I told you tonight how good you smell?" he murmured against the younger man’s neck. At that, Alex turned into him.

"You just did," he answered then brushed his mouth over Fox’s before submitting to a soft kiss. When Fox released his lips, he lowered his head to the older man’s shoulder. There was silence for a while as they stood slowly stroking each other, then Alex whispered Fox’s name.

"Hmm?"

"Remember when..." Alex paused for a moment, debating whether or not to ask, then he continued. "...when you had told me that you’d never kissed another man? But then you said that you and that guy at Oxford had kissed."

Fox smiled into Alex’s hair. "How long have you been thinking about that?"

Not answering, Alex shrugged.

"So, what? You think I’ve been jerking you around?"

"Nnnno..."

A soft laugh vibrated against Alex’s head. "I’m sorry, babe. I guess I wasn’t very clear. Technically, I suppose you could say that we did kiss. But it was nothing more than incidental. Fast, impatient. A means to an end. Not real kissing." Fox slipped a hand under Alex’s chin and lifted his head. Searching his lover’s dark eyes, he moved in slowly. "Not like this."

Alex’s lashes drifted downward, and his lips parted. A soft moan of anticipation escaped as Fox teased them into an achingly tender kiss. The taste of wine and cupcakes still lingered. While the two flavors didn’t exactly go together, combined with Alex’s unique taste, they made for a heady combination... or maybe the turn on was just Alex. Made no difference. Fox growled softly and claimed a deeper kiss. Alex’s fingers threaded through his hair, and he pressed impossibly closer. The air around them took on a definite chill, but neither man noticed, so wrapped up was each in the taste and feel of the other.

Fox’s hands slid down the length of Alex’s back and came to rest on the curve of his rear. Slowly, he stroked the deliciously rounded flesh, then squeezed gently and pulled the younger man more tightly against him. Alex gasped into his mouth as their erections pressed together, and he broke the kiss, panting softly.

"Maybe we should go now."

"You cold?" Fox asked, his hands abandoning their position on Alex’s ass and rubbing up and down the other man’s back. Alex shook his head, staring hungrily at Fox’s mouth.

"No, but... um... but I..."

"But you..."

No answer. Fox ground his hips gently against Alex’s, provoking a soft moan.

"But you what?"

Alex ducked his head, displaying a shy smile. He bit down on his lower lip and raised his head. The heat he found in his lover’s gaze eased some of his bashfulness. "I was having some bad thoughts," he croaked then softly cleared his throat.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Just... stuff."

"Anything I can help you with?"

Alex looked around then down at the point where their chests met, and he said nothing.

"It’s still your birthday," Fox murmured, his hands again drifting south. "You can have whatever you want." He leaned forward a bit, his warm breath teasing Alex’s mouth. "Even if it wasn’t your birthday, you could have whatever you wanted."

Alex’s eyelashes drooped, and he released a hard breath.

"Tell me," Fox coaxed.

"...You."

"Me?"

Alex nodded. "I want you."

One corner of Fox’s mouth tilted up in a triumphant smirk. "Here?"

"Here?" Alex repeated, anxiety creeping into his tone. "Um... I..." He went silent, not knowing how to answer.

"Is that what you want?" Fox purred, just barely brushing his mouth over Alex’s.

An abbreviated grunt escaped Alex’s closed throat as the older man’s tongue swept over his lower lip. His own tongue inched out to meet it, and Fox pulled him into another passionate kiss, then he began to undo the fastenings on his pants. A warm hand slipped inside and grazed his cotton-covered erection. It jumped at the contact, and a rough moan rolled in Alex’s throat. Fox smirked against the younger man’s mouth and let his hand slide past the slit in his underwear and curl gently around the rigid shaft. A sound rumbled against Fox’s mouth, so purely feral that his whole body vibrated in response, and suddenly there was nothing more he wanted at that moment than to drop to his knees there on the cold April ground. He would have done it, but he didn’t know how Alex would react to it. Besides, he wasn’t at all sure he’d have the nerve to actually follow through on the act. Instead, he dragged himself away from his lover’s mouth and made a breathless request.

"Fuck me, Alex."

A soft, hoarse click sounded in Alex’s throat, and he stared at Fox, wondering how serious he really was.

Pretty damn serious, as it turned out.

Fox reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and produced a tube of lubrication. Gently, he drew it down the side of Alex’s face then over his chest.

"Brought it along just in case."

Alex’s nostrils flared slightly as he took in a long breath of air. It came out in a hard stutter as he reached for the tube. Fox surrendered it to him and undid his own pants. He turned slowly and worked the material down to his knees then slid his hands over the hood of the car as he lowered his upper body to the still warm metal. His lashes fell slowly over his eyes, and a soft sigh escaped his lips as Alex gently caressed his newly exposed skin.

Alex watched his hand tremble over Fox’s rear. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the older man’s fingers flexing on the hood. He watched his back tighten and relax as he arched slightly then sank back down on the car. Desire radiated from Fox. It enveloped Alex, giving him the courage to take control. Quickly, smoothly, he dropped his pants and underwear. He applied some lube to himself then grasped his cock by the base and pushed the head between the muscled cheeks of his lover’s ass.

A low whine rolled in Fox’s throat, and he pushed backward, wanting more. "Do it," he panted as Alex slowly stretched him open. "Please... God..." A rough groan escaped past his gritted teeth, and he scratched at the hood, fighting to keep from bucking hard against the younger man. Long seconds went by before Alex had buried himself completely in his ass, but he managed it without exploding, and then he began to move carefully.

"Jesus," Alex whispered through clenched teeth as he withdrew then thrust into Fox a centimeter at a time. His hands stroked up under the layers of Fox’s clothing, their coolness making contact with warm skin and producing a hard shudder. Fox’s soft gasp brought an apology, and Alex stopped moving and began to pull his hands out from under his shirt.

"No," Fox breathed. "Don’t... Alex... need your hands on me. Touch me. Please, touch me."

Tentatively, Alex returned his hands to Fox’s back, caressing and gently kneading, and then he resumed his slow, easy thrusts. Fox lowered his head to the hood, resting his cheek on the gray metal, and his eyes closed as Alex began to move with more confidence. Soft, guttural moans sounded from behind him as one hand closed over his shoulder and the other grasped his hip, and Alex began to find his rhythm. Fox gasped his encouragement.

"Yeah... ohhhh, yeah... good, baby... so... so..." A long groan rolled past gritted teeth as his body was rocked steadily against the car. The contrast between his own heat and the cold veneer of the vehicle’s hood against his cock, elevated Fox’s excitement. His moans turned to broken sobs as he pushed back again and again to meet Alex’s increasingly agitated thrusts, and it was only seconds later that the younger man’s choked cries rang out, and Fox felt his insides flooded with warmth. It drove him to his own finish, his groans muffled in the sleeve of his jacket. Alex slumped over his back, panting heavily until his senses returned, and he realized that Fox was caught between his weight and the hard surface of the car.

"Sorry," he breathed, straightening up and pulling Fox with him. He turned the other man around and met a weary, satisfied gaze. His mouth tilted into a soft smile, then he glanced away. "We’d uh... we’d better get dressed."

Smirking, Fox leaned forward and nipped at Alex’s chin. "Your ass getting cold?"

The younger man chuckled at the question. "Little bit, yeah. You uh... you got something in the car we can clean up with?"

"I think there are some napkins in the glove compartment." Fox hiked his pants up a bit then moved to the passenger’s side and opened the door. Alex watched him rustle around for a moment, then he stood up and approached the younger man. "I’ll do it," he said as Alex reached for some of the napkins.

Alex lowered his eyes and stood quietly as Fox gently cleaned him up then tucked him back into his underwear. He zipped up his pants and buckled his belt then waited until Fox was finished fixing his own clothing before stepping forward and winding his arms around the older man’s waist. He dropped his head to Fox’s shoulder, and the other man hugged him tightly, dropping a handful of kisses in his hair.

"Ready to go?"

Alex nodded. "Unless you want to stay a while longer."

"No, I’m thinking about getting you home and into bed."

"I’m not tired... are you?"

"No. Just thinking about lying all snug and naked with you under some warm blankets."

Alex smiled into Fox’s shoulder. "Oh."

"That okay?"

"Yeah... I guess."

Fox grasped a handful of hair and pulled Alex’s head up. He frowned into eyes, sparkling with amusement.

"You guess?"

The younger man laughed softly before coming in for a playful peck. "Just teasing," he whispered then claimed a deeper kiss. Fox’s moan vibrated against his mouth, and he pulled away before things started to heat up again.

"Shit," Fox rumbled, his lashes dropping halfway down over his eyes.

"What?"

"I’m getting hard again."

Alex lowered his gaze and shook his head slowly. "You that insatiable?" he asked the ground, a touch embarrassed at the tone of the conversation.

"Apparently so," Fox murmured, writhing against the other man. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I don’t think so," Alex said, ending his answer on an aroused groan as Fox gripped his ass and pushed more insistently against him.

"Let’s go," Fox breathed, dragging his tongue over Alex’s lower lip. The men parted and got into the car. Alex watched as Fox started the engine and pulled back out onto the road, then he moved closer, brushing his fingers through the older man’s hair.

"I love you," he whispered, then he pulled his lower lip into his mouth for a second. "You’re not sick of me saying that, are you?"

Fox glanced quickly at Alex before returning his gaze to the road.

"Are you kidding me?"

Alex gave him a slight shrug. "You could get tired of hearing it."

"Could you?"

Alex paused, but not because he was considering the question.

"Never."

"So, why would you think that I could?"

The sable head lowered to Fox’s shoulder, and Alex lightly stroked his thigh. No more was said until Fox pulled into his parking spot at Hegal Place. Carefully, he shrugged his shoulder and called to his silent companion.

"Babe."

"Hmm."

Fox smiled at the sleepy response.

"We’re home."

Alex lifted his head and frowned at his surroundings.

"I fell asleep."

"Uh huh. Let’s go; I’ll put you to bed before you completely wake up."

Rubbing at one eye, Alex got out of the car. Fox met him on the passenger’s side, and he led him to the elevator. Leaning into Fox’s side, Alex stood quietly until they got off at the fourth floor. The men made their way down the hall, and Fox unlocked the door, pulling Alex in after him. Gently, he divested the younger man of his jacket then removed his own and steered Alex into the bedroom. As quickly as he could, Fox stripped him down to his underwear and pulled the covers back. Alex crawled in and nestled into the pillows before blinking up at the other man.

"You’re not staying up, are you?"

"Nope, just gonna hit the head then I’ll be right in." Fox leaned over his lover and dropped a kiss on his forehead then the tip of his nose. "Close your eyes."

Alex did close his eyes for a moment, but he reopened them and watched Fox leave the room. He stayed awake for all of the ten minutes or so that Fox was in the bathroom, and when the other man reappeared, clad only his boxer briefs, he gave Alex a scowl.

"Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?"

"Uh huh."

Fox approached the bed and dropped down next to him. "Then why aren’t you?"

Alex stretched and displayed a lazy smirk. "I started thinking."

"More thinking?"

Alex stared curiously.

"When you started thinking a couple of hours ago, I ended up bent over the hood of the car with my pants around my ankles."

"If I remember correctly, you’re the guy who brought the lube and planted the suggestion that we... you know..." Alex waved his hand loosely. "...out there."

"I didn’t hear any argument," Fox countered. When Alex smiled and said nothing, he went back to the statement that had thrown them off topic. "So, what were you thinking about?"

"I don’t want to tell you, now."

Fox chuckled at the pouting reply. "Why not?"

"Don’t want you to think that I only have one thing on my mind."

"It wouldn’t be a bad thing," Fox mused. "Come on. Tell me."

Alex let out a small sigh then moved closer, pressing himself against Fox. "I was wondering if..."

"...Yeah?"

He said it fast before he lost his nerve. "I was wondering if you were still hard."

Fox flashed his lover a grin. "See for yourself."

Alex lowered his gaze and made no move for several moments. Fox waited patiently, then he felt the tentative touch of Alex’s fingers through the cotton of his underwear.

"You were going to let me go to sleep when you were still in this condition?"

"You were tired," Fox purred in Alex’s ear. "It’s more important that you get your rest."

Alex shook his head. "You’re more important."

Fox cupped his palms over Alex’s cheeks. "No," he said. "Nothing’s more important than your health." Gold-flecked eyes stared into deep green. "Understood?"

The hand that had stopped stroking Fox, resumed, and Alex nuzzled the older man’s chin.

"Does that mean you don’t want me to do anything about this?"

Fox took a long, stuttering breath, and his eyes drifted closed. "It means," he started then stopped, waiting several seconds before starting again. "It means that it’s more important for you to..."

Alex’s hand slipped inside the slit of Fox’s underwear and brushed the length of his cock.

"T-to... take care of yourself."

"I’d rather take care of you," Alex moaned, wrapping his fingers around the stony erection. A soft, abbreviated grunt sounded deep in Fox’s throat.

"Alex..."

Alex stroked him gently.

"Let me take care of you."

His words, their tone... the feel of his hand wrapped around his cock. They trapped Fox. Bound him with their invisible ties and rendered him speechless. Alex stared for a small eternity then moved in for a tender kiss. Cautiously, his tongue slid over Fox’s mouth, and the older man opened to him with a small sigh. He swept inside, and as he did, he released his lover’s cock and pulled at his underwear, working it over his hips and down his legs. He broke the kiss to finish removing Fox’s underwear, and the older man curled his fingers in his hair, whimpering softly. Alex removed his own underwear and pressed against Fox, letting their erections touch. He draped one leg over the other man’s hip as they lay face to face, staring at each other. Again, his fingers whispered over Fox’s cock, and his body vibrated at his lover’s deep intake of breath.

"I want to take care of you."

Fox’s eyes dropped shut, then his lashes lifted, and he fixed a hazy gaze on his lover as he was gently fondled and stroked.

"I’ve always loved your eyes," Alex murmured, his silk and gravel tone, adding another layer to the stimulation his hand delivered. "You never knew, did you, that they mesmerized me. They still do."

Fox’s lips parted slightly, and a low groan escaped them as Alex applied more pressure.

"So many colors. They change with your moods. I noticed that long ago."

His thumb passed over the head, catching the drop of semen that had appeared at its tip, and he lifted his trembling hand, sucking the thumb into his mouth. Fox’s chest heaved as he watched, and when Alex pulled his finger from his mouth, Fox was there, drawing him into a deep, desperate kiss. He grunted into Alex’s mouth as the younger man firmed his grip a bit and milked him steadily.

He wouldn’t last. Not more than a minute. Not if Alex continued to...

He tore his mouth from Alex’s, sobbing his frustration as the younger man gentled his touch and again met his eyes.

"They’re dark now," Alex purred, studying him with loving interest. "With rings of gold. All those years... I’d never seen them like this." His breath flowed warm over Fox’s mouth. "It’s like... this color is special..." His voice went so soft, Fox could barely hear it. "...and it’s mine. Just mine." He took a long breath and let it stumble out as his hand slowly regained its previous speed and strength. "...You’re mine."

His last whispered words weren’t spoken with a lover’s possessiveness, but rather with the gratitude and wonder of a man awakening to find that the dream he’d had for so many years was now reality.

Alex got it. He finally understood.

Exquisite pain lanced Fox’s heart, and every nerve sizzled with the knowledge. "Yours," he breathed, then he turned, facing away from the other man. He pressed up against Alex’s crotch and pleaded softly for his lover to give him what he needed.

Alex closed his eyes and buried his face in Fox’s hair, taking in the scent of him as his hand wandered over his chest and abdomen. His fingers brushed a nipple, tightening it into a hard peak. Fox’s answering whimper encouraged him to go further. He circled the nipple several times then pulled gently, making the other man squirm.

"Alex, please," Fox sobbed, rocking against him. "Please... need... I need to... feel you..."

Alex groaned into Fox’s hair. "Lube’s still in your jacket," he said, starting to roll off the bed, but Fox turned and stopped him.

"More in the drawer," he panted, his hand grazing the inside of Alex’s thigh. "Get it... get it..."

Alex pulled the nightstand drawer open and peered inside. Three different types of lube lay in the otherwise empty compartment. He snatched one up, telling himself he’d have to remember to ask Fox later what the deal was. But for now, all he could think about was feeling himself buried as far as he could go inside his lover’s ass. With shaking hands, he removed the lid and squeezed the cold gel out onto his cock. He hissed softly as it hit the overly warm flesh, and he quickly spread it over his length, then he kissed Fox deeply before turning him and wrapping an arm around him. His soft declaration of love closed Fox’s eyes, and when he pushed the head of his cock into the older man, they both gasped at the sensation neither thought he’d ever get used to or grow tired of. Alex stopped, taking a shuddering breath, and he stroked Fox’s cheek.

"Are you okay?"

Fox nodded. "Don’t stop," he pleaded, reaching back and threading his fingers through Alex’s hair. "Don’t..."

Slowly, Alex inched forward, pushing deeper into his lover. Every tiny advance brought him closer to total devastation, and he wasn’t sure what to do to hold it off, short of coming to a complete halt. Fox sensed the precariousness of his situation, and while he would have loved to help him out and prolong the moment, he had to admit to himself that right now, he felt no such generous inclination. Bucking against the other man, he panted his encouragement.

"Now, Alex... I can’t... I can’t... now."

He grasped the hand on his chest and pulled it down to his cock, groaning softly when Alex’s fingers circled him and began to stroke awkwardly. The increasingly frantic sobs vibrating in his ear told him that Alex was closer to the precipice, and it was only seconds more before he fell in. His muscles clenched around Alex, milking the younger man, and the explosion came, catching both men up in its ravages.

Hand still loosely wrapped around his lover’s cock, Alex collapsed on top of him. Both men were still, and all was quiet but for their soft, gasping breaths. A long while later, Alex lifted his head and blinked sluggishly down at his lover. Fox combed the hair back from his forehead and gave him a soft smile.

"This just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?"

Alex returned the smile then shifted his gaze a bit.

"You really like it?"

Fox’s smile got wider, and he chuffed out a breathy laugh. "Yeah. I really like it." He drew his knuckles across the other’s lightly stubbled cheek. "I really like you too."

Alex returned his attention to Fox’s face, and the two stared for a considerable length of time before the younger man lowered his head to Fox’s shoulder and closed his eyes. A gentle hand glided up and down his back as the other rested on his head. A tender kiss pressed into his hair, and it wasn’t until he was out that Fox let himself sleep.

"Hey, it looks good."

"Yeah, it does." Alex finished basting the turkey breast then shut the oven door. He straightened up and grinned at the other man. "How tough is it to roast a turkey breast, right?"

"I could screw it up," Fox promised, lifting the lid off of a pot to check out the freshly mashed potatoes. He replaced the lid and reached into his back pocket to pull out his ringing cell. "Yeah, Byers?"

Alex leaned against the counter, listening intently.

"...So he must have seen it or at least heard... damn. Can you track him down? Try hard, guys. It’s important. Okay. Yeah... thanks."

Fox hung up and let out a long breath. Alex waited quietly.

"According to the park office, they missed him by half a day. He said he had a personal emergency, and he left."

"They won’t find him, Fox. Not if he doesn’t want to be found."

Fox approached and hooked his fingers in the loops of Alex’s jeans as he pressed against him. "The guys are good, babe. They’ll track him down. ‘Kay?"

Alex lowered his eyes and nodded.

"You don’t believe it, do you?"

"I just... I don’t want you to be disappointed if they don’t."

Fox slipped a hand under his chin and lifted his head. Giving him a crooked smile, he agreed.

"Okay, I won’t be disappointed."

"Are you just humoring me?"

"Little bit, yeah."

Alex sighed and dropped his head to Fox’s shoulder.

"Just have a little faith," the older man murmured, stroking Alex’s hair. His hand slowly traveled downward, over the length of his lover’s back then back up. "Sometimes you just have to have faith."

Alex wrapped his arms around Fox and snuggled closer, enjoying the other man’s gentle touch.

"Will you try?"

His warm breath fanned Alex’s hair, sending a shudder through the younger man’s body.

"I’ll try," Alex sighed as Fox nuzzled the side of his neck. His eyes rolled upward and his lashes fell over them when he felt the faint touch of his lover’s tongue. He bit back a moan as Fox’s hands slid over his ass and pulled him more tightly against him.

"Fox..."

His name, softly whispered, wasn’t meant to stop him, nor was it meant as an encouragement. It just came out. For the pleasure of it. For the simple joy of Alex being able to say it with love and passion. The hardness pressed against him grew, and he lifted his head, his lips brushing over Fox’s waiting mouth.

The piercing beep of the oven timer startled them apart. Fox let out a breathy laugh, and Alex looked down at the floor between them for a moment before turning to check on dinner.

"This is just about done," the younger man said hoarsely. He cleared his throat and turned to Fox. "I hope they get here soon."

Fox was just about to respond when the buzzer rang. Smiling, he waved his hand in the direction of the door. Alex returned the smile and accepted a light kiss before Fox left the kitchen. He stared after the older man for a brief moment then blew out a heavy breath and turned back to tend to dinner.

"You’re almost late."

"Almost late isn’t late."

Scully blew in followed by a smirking Peter.

"Where’s my brother?"

"Kitchen. You guys might as well have a seat at the table. It’ll be right out."

Fox disappeared back into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he reappeared, following Alex to the dining table.

"Hi, Alex."

"Hey, kid."

Alex greeted Scully and Peter together and placed two bowls on the table. Fox set the turkey down and began to slice it as Alex returned to the kitchen for the rolls. When he came out and placed the basket down, Fox pulled his chair out and planted a kiss on the top of his head as he took his seat.

"So," Fox asked his grinning partner, "why were you almost late?"

Scully shrugged, spooning a mountain of mashed potatoes into her plate. "We lost track of time."

"Oh yeah?" Fox took a roll and passed the basket on. "And how did that happen?"

"We were busy."

"Busy, huh?"

"Yeah. Busy."

Fox gave her a sly grin, to which she answered with an all-out sneer.

Dinner continued with jovial chatter, and when it was done, the couples retired to the living room, where the conversation continued for nearly half an hour before Alex asked if anyone wanted coffee.

"And dessert, right?" Scully asked. Peter looked at her in silence for a moment then turned to Fox and shook his head.

"Where does she put it?"

"No clue. But that was nothing. You should see how much she can put away sometimes."

"Stop it, Mulder," Scully grumbled, landing a stinging backhand to his thigh. "He’s full of crap, Peter."

"Am not," Fox argued softly.

"Are too." Scully turned her attention to Fox’s grinning lover. "So. Dessert?"

"Yeah, we have dessert," Alex answered, rising to his feet.

"Want help?" she asked.

"Nope. I got it. Pete, you want any?"

"Too full for dessert," Peter replied, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Scully. "I’ll take some coffee, though."

Alex nodded and looked down at Fox, touching the top of his head.

"Fox?"

"Just coffee, babe." He started to get up. "Let me help you."

"No, it’s okay. Stay here and keep them company."

Fox reached for Alex’s hand and shook it lightly, back and forth. "You sure?"

"Yep." Alex lifted the other man’s hand to his mouth and planted a gentle kiss in the palm before releasing it and walking away. Fox watched, entranced as the younger man sauntered into the kitchen. It wasn’t until Scully had called his name for the second time that he acknowledged her.

"Boy oh boy, Mulder, he’s got you."

"Yeah, he has," Fox agreed, not the slightest bit embarrassed by the admission.

"You know, Mulder," Peter spoke up, "I won’t deny that seeing you two get all mushy over each other still makes me a tiny bit queasy... but I’m getting better!" He added, grinning at the other man. "Anyway, I’ve never seen my baby brother look so happy. Thank you."

"It feels weird being thanked for something that I’m so grateful for."

"You’re grateful that he’s happy?"

"Of course." Fox stared intently at Peter. "I love him. The second I admitted to that, his happiness, his safety, his well-being became my first priority. If he feels any of those things with me... I’m grateful."

As he finished that thought, Alex came through the door, carrying a tray. Setting it down on the coffee table, he took his seat next to Fox, snuggling against the older man and resting a hand on his thigh. Fox wound an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer, dusting his temple with a soft kiss before letting him go and reaching for his coffee.

"Aren’t they cute?" Scully asked Peter, enjoying his sour expression.

"Oh yeah," Peter breathed, looking away. "Adorable. So, Mulder, have you heard from your friends?" He asked, changing the subject. Scully started to shush him, but Fox waved her off.

"It’s okay. I check the place regularly. It’s clean. So, yeah, we’ve heard from them," he answered. "He took off about twelve hours before they got there. They’re trying to track him down."

"Took off as in..."

"Gone. Disappeared."

"So he must realize that he’s been on TV."

"Guess so."

"Well, that’s good. That’s what we wanted," Scully said. "So, why are we trying to find him?"

Fox stared at his partner. "Because he’s Jeremiah Smith."

Scully opened her mouth to speak then shut it so hard, her teeth clicked. She stared back and said nothing. Peter watched the two then glanced at Alex, frowning.

"Okay, what am I missing?"

Scully answered. "Mulder thinks he can fix it so that Alex won’t have any need for his doctor." She looked back at Fox. "Don’t you?"

Fox said nothing.

"Mulder... I... do you really think you should..."

"You know he can, Scully," Fox said, knowing what his partner was going to say.

"Okay, Mulder," she sighed. "Let’s say it’s possible."

"You know it is."

Scully held up a hand in surrender. "Okay. But even if Langly and Byers manage to find him, you explain the situation, and he agrees... it’s not like Alex is at death’s door. He’s fine now. How could you justify putting Smith at risk? And not just him."

"We’d take every precaution," Fox explained, agitated at the sense Scully was making. "I wouldn’t just..."

"She’s right, Fox," Alex said softly, stopping Fox in mid-sentence. "We can’t risk the consequences of Spender getting hold of him. We can’t take this route."

"But he could remove all risk of rejection, and we’d never have to be apart," Fox murmured urgently. His intense stare mesmerized Alex. "Never."

"I know," Alex whispered, lifting a hand to Fox’s face and caressing the older man’s jaw. "But we can’t be that selfish. There could be a lot more at stake than just you and me."

Fox lowered his eyes and said nothing. Leaning forward, Alex rested his forehead against the other man’s.

"I love you. And we’ll work this out. We’ll find another way."

Muddy brown eyes met Alex’s gaze, and Fox nodded reluctantly. A few seconds passed, and he pulled Alex into his arms. Scully watched them for a moment then called Fox’s name.

"Mulder, I’m sorry," she said softly. "I didn’t mean to upset you."

Fox hugged Alex more tightly to his chest, tenderly stroking the younger man’s hair. "I know," he rasped. "I’m not upset with you, Scully. I just... I can’t stand the thought of not..." He let the sentence trail off without finishing.

"It’ll work out," Peter promised. "You guys haven’t come all this way for nothing."

Fox gave him a trace of a smile and nodded.

Scully and Peter stayed for another two hours then said goodnight. Only a few moments of silence passed before Scully began to speak.

"I feel awful about bringing the evening down like that."

"Aww, it wasn’t that bad," Peter soothed.

"It’s just that when Mulder is passionate about something, he tends not to consider everything he should, you know?"

"Yeah, I can see that about him." Peter smiled. "It’s nice to know, though, that it’s Alex he’s so passionate about. If they manage to work it out so that they can be together permanently, I won’t have to worry about him."

Scully looked at her companion out of the corner of her eye.

"It sounds like you’d stay out west if Alex moves back here?"

Peter turned to face the driver, pursing his lips.

"Mmmm... I don’t know. I like it here," he said softly, staring at Scully’s profile. "I guess I’d consider moving if I had good enough reason."

One side of Scully’s mouth tilted up into a smirk. "There’s your brother," she offered.

"Yeah," Peter mused. "But he’d have his life with Mulder. What would I have? Ouch!" He flinched away, clamping his hand over the spot on his arm that Scully had just hit. "That hurt!"

"Good!"

Peter began to laugh. "You know I’m just kidding."

"No. I don’t."

Peter moved closer and rested his head on Scully’s shoulder. "Sure you do," he cooed. "I’d love to be here with you, and you know it."

Unable to keep from smiling, Scully grunted and returned her undivided attention to the road.

"You’re still awake, aren’t you?"

Fox stared into the darkness for several seconds before curling his fingers into the sable hair beneath his hand, and kissing the top of Alex’s head.

"How’d you know?"

The younger man shrugged. "Could feel it," he croaked. "What’re you thinking?"

"...That I really, really hate it when Scully makes sense."

"She didn’t tell us anything we really didn’t know, though," Alex nearly whispered. "She just sort of... jostled us back into reality."

"It wasn’t really us, was it?"

Alex lifted his head and looked down into his lover’s shadowed face.

"What wasn’t us?"

"It wasn’t us who got jostled back into reality... it was me. You knew it. You wanted to tell me, didn’t you? But you couldn’t."

Alex looked down at Fox’s chest.

"I couldn’t."

Fox rubbed his thumb over the younger man’s stubbled cheek. "Why not?"

"I don’t know. Couple of reasons, I guess. Right from the jump, I’d been so negative, and I was trying to stop. And the fact that you were so... fired up to be with me... I suppose it sort of swept me away, you know? I guess that’s selfish."

"Isn’t it okay for us to be a little selfish?"

"If we wouldn’t be hurting anyone else in the process," Alex answered. "But no situation that might even remotely involve Spender is harmless. You know the havoc he’ll wreak if get’s hold of Smith. We can’t let that happen. We can’t take the chance."

Fox’s ringing cell phone stopped him from saying anything more. Picking it up, he looked at the display and sighed heavily.

"Unbelievable. It’s Langly... hey, Langly... of course you did." Fox brought his other hand up to his forehead and rubbed gently. "...of course it was... no. No, I’m... yeah. When? Okay. All right, that’s fine. Yeah... yeah, okay. Thanks, guys. Great job. See you when you get back."

Alex lay in silence as Fox hung up and tossed the phone onto the nightstand.

"Good thing those guys are on our side."

"...They found him."

"Yeah. He’ll contact me at eight tomorrow morning."

Alex pulled his lower lip into his mouth and said nothing. Several seconds passed before Fox turned onto his side and faced the younger man.

"Okay, so we’ll keep the world safe from Spender."

"...It’s the right thing."

"I’m tired of always doing what’s right for the world," Fox whispered, moving closer to Alex. He kissed the younger man softly. "I really am tired."

Alex stroked his index finger down Fox’s cheek. "Somehow it’ll work out," he said then gave his lover a tiny smile. It was tinged with sadness. "We’ll find another way."

Fox pulled Alex into his arms, and both men fell silent, lost in his own thoughts.

Two minutes past eight. Fox looked down at the ringing phone, taking one deep breath, then he picked it up and greeted the caller in a flat tone.

"Agent Mulder?"

"Yeah... are you calling from a secure location?"

"Yes. No one knows where I am. No one except for your friends, that is. Quite the resourceful pair."

"That, they are." He dispensed with the small talk. "Is there a reason you stayed behind?"

"Safer here, believe it or not. Plus, it’s not such a bad place to live."

"What’ll you do now?"

"Disappear into the woodwork and hope this time that no news cameras find me... but your friends said that it was important that you talk to me. What is it?"

Fox bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"Never mind, I... there was something, but... just stay safe."

Smith persisted.

"Whatever it was on your mind, it was something very important to you, Wasn’t it?"

"...Don’t worry about it."

"Agent Mulder, you’ve been an important part of all that’s gone on... an ally, and a tireless warrior, in spite of all you’ve lost. If there’s something I can do for you. Something I can help you with..."

Fox’s eyes closed, and he lowered his head. It took all his strength to keep from telling Smith exactly what he needed. Alex felt it, and he rose from the chair he’d been sitting in, coming to kneel in front of the other man. Placing a hand gently on Fox’s knee, he gained the older man’s attention, and he slowly shook his head.

"...No," Fox finally rasped. "No, there’s nothing. Take care of yourself and be careful."

He hung up and met Alex’s eyes. He gave the younger man a sad smile.

"We had the solution in our hands."

"I know." Alex rubbed his lover’s thigh. "I won’t tell you again that we’ve done the responsible thing, because I’m sure you’re tired of hearing it... how about I just tell you that I love you?"

"I never get tired of hearing that," Fox whispered, pulling Alex in for a tender kiss. "So," he murmured against his lover’s mouth. "Let’s do something to celebrate how responsible we are."

"What do you suggest?" Alex asked, his hand creeping higher on Fox’s leg.

"You’re heading in the right direction."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm," Fox breathed as the other man’s fingers traced the outline of his growing erection. He leaned his head back, resting it on the couch cushion and closed his eyes, and tried to forget about what he’d just given up.

Alex picked the last pair of jeans up off of the bed and folded them slowly. He placed them in his bag then headed into the bathroom for his toothbrush.

"Do you have to take it?" Fox asked from the doorway, a soft but very definite whine in his voice. "It’ll make it seem like you’re not coming back."

"I’m leaving all the clothes I bought here," Alex reasoned.

"I know. But... I don’t... I guess it might sound stupid, but there’s something about seeing your toothbrush there next to mine..." Fox shrugged. "I don’t know..."

"Uh... I do have another one at home," Alex said, not meeting the other man’s eyes.

"...Home?"

"I... uh... Peter’s place... you know."

Fox nodded and said nothing. Alex lifted his eyes and met a sad, muddy-brown gaze.

"My home is with you, now. It always will be."

A few seconds passed, and Fox managed a hint of a smile. Alex put the toothbrush back and slowly approached the older man. Stopping when their bodies were barely touching, he rested his head on Fox’s shoulder.

"I’ll keep your side of the bed warm," Fox said, putting his arms around the younger man. "...Until you get back home."

Alex wrapped his arms around Fox’s waist and closed his eyes. "The time went by way too fast, didn’t it?" he asked, tightening his hold.

"Yeah," Fox sighed. He kissed the back of Alex’s head. "Hey."

"...What?"

"Look at me."

Alex raised his head and looked into his lover’s eyes. Fox stared back, saying nothing. Several seconds passed, and he brushed his lips over Alex’s then claimed a sweet kiss. A soft sigh vibrated in his mouth, and Alex’s tongue inched out to meet his. A low growl rumbled in his throat, and he slowly backed Alex through the doorway and into the bedroom. When they reached the bed, he gently pushed the younger man down to the mattress and stretched out beside him. Resting his head in his hand, he traced the line of Alex’s jaw then feathered his lips with the tips of his fingers.

"I love you."

Alex’s eyes sparkled with adoration.

"I never thought I’d be able to believe that, much as I wanted to."

"But you do." It was more a question than a statement.

"I do," Alex whispered with more confidence than he’d ever dreamed he’d possess. He reached up, threading his fingers through Fox’s hair and pulled the older man down to him. "And I know we’re going to be together."

Fox answered him with a long, heartfelt kiss. That kiss led to another. And another still, and minutes later, they were naked, each supplying the other with what he hoped were enough memories to last the very long week that they’d be separated.

It was after three by the time they’d collapsed together, satisfied and exhausted, into each other’s arms. Neither man had imagined that he would actually be able to fall asleep, but they both did. When the morning sun shone brightly in Fox’s bedroom window not more than four hours later, Alex opened his eyes, and the pain began again. He closed his eyes, and a soft sob broke past his parted lips as he turned his face into Fox’s shoulder.

"We don’t have to be up for almost two hours yet," Fox’s voice croaked in the silence. "Why don’t you try and go back to sleep?"

Alex lifted his head and looked down into bloodshot eyes.

"I didn’t realize you were awake."

"I just woke up about fifteen minutes ago."

Alex stroked his lover’s stubbled cheek. "I can sleep on the plane."

"But you look so tired."

"So do you," the younger man replied. "Are you going back to sleep?"

Fox shrugged. "Can’t."

"Then neither can I."

"You haven’t tried."

"I don’t want to," Alex said, holding Fox’s gaze. "I don’t want to miss a minute with you."

Fox sighed softly then kissed the tip of his lover’s nose.

"You wanna get up then, and have breakfast?"

"Don’t think I can get anything down. Can we just stay here a while longer?"

"Anything you want, baby."

The two lay in silence for more than half an hour before Alex shifted and kissed Fox’s shoulder.

"Fox?"

"Yeah?"

"Does that offer still apply?"

Fox tightened his arms around the younger man.

"What offer?"

"...Anything I want."

Fox closed his eyes and nodded.

"Anything. What do you want?"

Alex sucked his bottom lip into his mouth while his hand wandered up and down Fox’s bare chest.

"...One for the road?"

The request made Fox smile.

"You’re going to wear me out once you’re back to a hundred percent, aren’t you?"

Alex’s thumb rasped over a nipple, teasing it to a hard peak.

"You still tired?"

"Three times in one night, Alex. Aren’t you?"

"A little. But I..."

Fox tilted the younger man’s head up and searched his eyes, reading what he didn’t say.

"Me too."

He pulled Alex into a tender kiss and rolled the other man on top of him.

Two out of the three times they’d made love the night before, it had been Alex on top, and Fox had seen increasing glimpses of the younger man’s growing confidence. It was a beautiful thing to behold, not to mention an incredible turn on. He had to experience it just one more time before Alex left.

Alex took control readily, pushing his tongue into Fox’s mouth as his fingers plunged into the older man’s hair. His hips bore down on Fox’s, pressing their cocks together, and the other man arched against him and moaned softly into his mouth.

He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to the luxury of having Fox Mulder lying beneath him, responding passionately to his touch. In fact, it sort of freaked him out. But in a good way.

He tucked his hands under Fox’s ass, squeezing the flexing muscles as he rocked slowly against him. Fox broke the kiss, sobbing his name as he dug his fingers into his back.

Definitely in a good way.

Almost half an hour went by before teasing gave way to satisfaction, and Alex dropped onto Fox’s chest, panting heavily. The other man wrapped him in a weak embrace and kissed the side of his neck. They lay quietly, absorbing the sweetness of the moment, then Alex pulled out of Fox’s arms and cast a desolate stare on the older man.

"Gotta get up now."

"I know," Fox whispered, cupping Alex’s cheeks in his palms. His thumb slid over the other man’s mouth, and he followed the caress with a gentle kiss. When he was released, Alex hesitated a moment then dragged himself out of bed. Fox sat up and watched him pick up the clothes he’d laid out the night before. Before he disappeared through the doorway, Fox called to him.

"...Alex?"

Alex paused at the threshold and turned his head in the older man’s direction.

"Want some company in the shower?"

A slow smile came to Alex’s face, and he came back to the bed. Taking Fox’s hand, he pulled him to his feet and led him out of the room.

"Time flies, doesn’t it?"

"Yeah." Peter checked his bag and turned to Scully, wrapping her in a bear hug. "I’ll come back out as soon as I can."

"I know." Scully rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes. "...God, this stinks."

Peter nodded in complete agreement. "If Alex can’t work something out, this could go on for a while... you won’t get tired of waiting and tell me to get lost, will you?"

"Of course not." Scully lifted her head and looked up into Peter’s eyes. She gave him a deeply affectionate smile. "But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that." She stood on her toes and met him halfway for a passionate kiss.

Not more than four feet away, Fox stood with his arms locked around Alex, the misery on their faces more than evident.

"It’s going to kill me tonight, not having you in bed beside me."

Alex nodded against the older man’s shoulder. "I’ll be back next week," he whispered, in the impossible attempt to make things better.

"I know. But even a week is too long... you’ll talk to the doctor?"

"Yeah. Try not to get your hopes up, though. I really don’t think it’s going to do any good, but I will try."

"’Kay."

The flight was called, and Peter and Scully said their final goodbyes then walked over to where the men were still wrapped around each other.

"Come on, kid. We gotta go."

"I don’t want to," Alex said, his voice muffled in the leather of Fox’s jacket.

"I know." Peter put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. "Neither do I. But we have to."

Reluctantly, Alex loosened his hold on Fox, but the other man would not let go.

"Mulder, I promise I’ll put him on a plane back here within the week," Peter vowed softly, tugging at Alex’s jacket.

Fox let Alex go for just a second before hauling him back and into a hungry kiss. Peter looked around, uncomfortable with the stares that a few people were casting in their direction, then he tried again.

"Come on, guys, break it up. We really gotta go."

"I love you," Alex whispered against Fox’s mouth when they parted. "More than I’ll ever be able to tell you."

"I love you," Fox murmured back. "You get your ass back here the second you’re able to."

"I will."

Finally, Peter succeeded in pulling Alex away, and the two headed to the tunnel. Fox and Scully stood side by side, watching, and just before the brothers were gone from sight, they turned around for one last look.

"I’ll call you when we get in," Peter said, loud enough to be heard above the noise in the terminal, and Scully nodded, giving him a sweet smile. Fox and Alex stared in silence, their eyes saying all that needed to be said. Peter touched his arm, and he turned, following his brother out of sight. Fox continued to stare, even after the men were long gone, a light mist coating one eye. Scully nudged him, and he blinked down at her.

"He’ll be back soon," she said, trying to be of comfort. Fox’s eyes left her face and stared down at the floor.

"I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and not see him there next to me. It’s only been a few weeks, but I..." He bit down on his lower lip and said nothing more.

"It’s all going to work out, Mulder," Scully reassured. "You’ll see. Alex will be able to come back to stay, and Peter’ll come too."

Fox lifted his head and looked down into his partner’s hopeful face.

"I’m sorry, Scully."

"What for?"

"I’m so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself, that I’m completely forgetting that you’re probably having just as hard a time with this as I am."

"I am going to miss him, Mulder. A whole lot. But I think we’ve touched on this subject once before. There’s a world of difference between me and Peter and you and Alex. You two have been emotionally invested in each other for a hell of a long time, even if you’ve never admitted to it. What I’m feeling about Peter leaving can’t touch the pain you’re in right now."

Fox said nothing.

"It’s going to be okay," Scully said in her most soothing tone as she put her arms around her partner and guided his head down the considerable distance to her shoulder. "We’re going to be happy. It just might take a little more time."

Fox hugged the redhead to him and nodded.

"Come on, now. Let’s get out of here before traffic gets too bad."

Fox lifted his head and, giving Scully a tiny smile, took her hand and headed toward the exit.

Nine-ten.

Alex must have made it home by now.

No. Not home. Home was here. He must have made it back to Peter’s place. Fox decided to give it another half hour, then he’d call.

Twenty minutes in, the phone rang. Quickly, he jerked it up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

The soft, sad voice broke his heart and made his stomach quiver.

"Hey."

"...We just got in."

"Yeah... how was the flight?"

"Okay... I don’t want to be here."

Fox closed his eyes. "I know. I... I know, baby. One week. Then you’ll be back. In the meantime, we’ll be working on a way to get you here permanently."

"Fox," Alex sighed. "We both know the odds of that happening."

"I know. We can’t give up, though."

Silence met his statement.

"...Alex?"

"I’m here."

"Please don’t give up."

"You know I won’t."

"Okay. You scared me for a minute."

" M’sorry. I love you. All I want in the world is to be with you."

"It’s going to happen, Alex. It can’t not happen."

"Let me guess," Alex said, a bit of humor creeping into his tone. "The universe wants it that way?"

Fox smiled into the phone.

"That’s right. Until then... you gonna set up your web cam?"

"Yeah. Did you do yours?"

"Yeah. A little busy time. Not that I didn’t spend it missing you anyway."

"I miss you too. So much," Alex moaned. "I uh..." He didn’t finish the sentence.

"What?"

"I kept thinking... on the plane."

"What were you thinking about?"

"...What we did in the shower. It was so..."

One corner of Fox’s mouth tilted upward.

"Dirty?"

"Intense was the word I was looking for, but, yeah."

"Wait till next week," Fox purred.

The conversation continued for more than two hours before Alex found the courage to call an end to it.

"It’s getting late. You got very little sleep last night. If you’re going to go to work tomorrow, you’d better turn in."

"I know. You must be tired too."

"Actually, I am."

"Okay, well... I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I guess."

"Call me after work."

"Right after. Don’t forget to have your computer on."

"I won’t."

"’Kay." Fox let out a heavy sigh. "I love you, baby."

Alex lay back against the pillows on his bed. "I love you," he responded, the sadness now back in his voice. "Goodnight, Fox."

"...Night."

Alex disconnected but held onto the phone, pressing it gently to his forehead for a while before finally dropping it down. Reaching over to the bedside table, he lifted one of Fox’s pictures, giving it a long look before holding it to his chest and closing his eyes.

"Hello? Hey, Dana! Just get out of work? How was your first day back?" Peter dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and set his grocery bags down. "...Yeah, I’m sure... it sucked." He began pulling the food out of the bags and putting it away. Alex walked into the room and picked up the milk.

"That Scully?"

Peter nodded.

"She leave work yet?"

Another nod. Alex picked up speed, putting almost everything away while Peter chatted, then he dashed back out. His brother chuckled and opened the cupboard door.

"Mulder on his way home, too?"

"Yeah," Scully answered. "I’m sure Alex is anxious to use his web cam, isn’t he?"

"Yeah, anxious is a good word," Peter said, grinning as he reached up to the top shelf and pulled down a gallon bottle. "...He just put the orange juice in the cabinet..."

Back in his bedroom, Alex booted up his computer and checked the camera’s connections. Assuring himself that the thing was hooked up correctly, he sat back and waited.

Fox threw his apartment door open, wincing as it hit the wall.

"Shit."

He slammed it shut and started for the living room, then he cursed again and backtracked. He opened the door, pulled his key out of the lock and kicked it shut. Shrugging out of his coat, he threw it over the hook and began tugging at his tie as he made his way to his desk. He turned the computer on then took his suit jacket off and tossed it onto the sofa. He finished undoing his tie and slid it off then signed on and looked for Alex. Smiling, he made contact. Before he knew it, he was looking into the face of the man he missed more than he ever could have imagined he would.

"Hey, handsome."

"Hey."

Fox listened for a second then smiled.

"Is that one of my CD’s playing?"

"Yeah. Just before you called, I was lying on my bed, listening to the music and looking at your pictures. Does that sound as sappy as I think it does?"

"Just sounds to me like you’re missing your man."

"I am. So... ridiculously much."

"I miss you too. More than I can tell you."

Alex sighed and changed the subject. "How was your day?"

"Lousy. Yours?"

"About the same."

Alex nodded then brushed his fingers over the monitor. "I’m grateful to be able to see you, but... I can’t touch you."

"It’ll be okay," Fox promised. "Your biopsy is tomorrow, then a few days later, you’ll be on your way back to me."

"I know," Alex rasped. "I... I know. And with any luck, I’ll have good news."

Fox showed Alex his crossed fingers and gave the younger man an encouraging smile.

"So... what’d you do today?"

"So, how’d your little video-conference go?"

"It was hard."

"Well, yeah, Mulder, I imagine it’s not very easy to have sex via computer."

"Have... what makes you think that’s what we did?"

"Didn’t you?"

"No."

"Really."

"Yes, really."

"Then, what the hell did you do?"

Fox held his hands out and shrugged. "Uh... talked?"

"...Yeah?"

"Why do you sound so surprised? We did a lot of talking, you know, while he was here."

"Hmm."

"Again with the surprise?"

"Sorry," Scully said casually. "I just kind of figured that once you actually started doing it, you’d be at it all the time. You know, you both being men and all."

Fox dropped his gaze and smiled slightly, but he said nothing.

"Mulder, you’re not getting the hang of this whole girlfriends thing."

"Could be because I’m not a girl," Fox deadpanned.

"Fine, Mulder, fine. So... Peter going to call you when Alex’s biopsy is done?"

"Yeah." He heaved a long sigh. "...I should be with him."

"He’ll be fine," Scully assured her partner, then tapped on his desk. "Well, what’s on tap for today?"

"How’re you feeling, kiddo?"

Alex sighed and shrugged. "Okay. Now I get to be bored out of my mind. Have you called Fox?"

"Yeah. As soon as you were done. He’ll be waiting to hear from you later."

Alex nodded. "I want to talk to the doctor first... not that it’s going to do any good."

"I think you’re right, kid, but you never know. Uh... d’you mind if I run out for some coffee? I’m dyin’."

"Told you we had time this morning for you to have a cup."

"I know, I know. I’ll be back in a bit."

"’Kay."

Peter patted his brother’s arm and left the room. Rubbing his hands briskly through his hair, he sauntered down the hall. When he was almost to the elevator, he glanced down a long corridor then stopped short just as he passed it. Backing up, he frowned at the profile of the man he saw, talking to another white-jacketed man.

"What the hell..."

He turned down the hall and approached the pair. As he got closer, he saw the doctor... Alex’s doctor, lower his head for a moment as their father said something to him. The doctor looked up, issued a brief reply, and he left. A few more steps, and Spender turned around, giving him a wan smile.

"Well, hello, Peter. How was your trip? You had a good time, I trust?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking on our Alex, of course. He’s been so busy lately, I was a little worried that he might be overdoing things, and I wanted to make sure that he was all right."

Peter stared.

"And how was his visit? All he dreamed of, I hope?"

"Why are you so interested?"

Spender shrugged. "He’s my boy. Anything he’s hell bent on enough to hold a gun on his father and threaten his life for must be very worthwhile indeed. I just wanted to know if he got everything out of his visit that he had hoped to."

"Leave Alex alone," Peter said flatly. "Leave Mulder alone. Leave us all... alone."

"Why, Peter," the smoker said with mock surprise. "You sound so much like your brother right now. I really do believe he’s beginning to wear off on you."

"Just leave us alone," Peter repeated softly. He turned around and walked away, Spender’s voice calling after him.

"I’m due at a meeting soon. So, tell Alex I said hello, and I hope he’s feeling fine."

Peter didn’t turn around.

"Hey, babe."

"Hey."

"How’re you feeling?"

"Okay. A little tired."

"Yeah? You look tired," Fox confirmed.

"Stupid that lying around all day can do that, huh?"

"Mmm."

"So... I didn’t get to talk to the doctor."

He could see the disappointment in Fox’s face.

"What happened?"

"I don’t know, he... he usually comes back in to check on me a couple of times after the procedure, but the nurse said he had some emergency, and he had to leave. Another doctor checked me out. I left a message that I wanted to speak with him, though."

Fox drew in a long breath and let it out.

"I’m sorry, I know you’re disappointed. So am I."

Fox nodded. "Well," he murmured. "We’ll just have to wait another day, I guess."

"Yeah." Alex ran his fingers through his hair and drew an unsteady breath. "Uh... how was your day?"

"Long. Got an interesting case, though."

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"You sure? You look like you’re ready for a nap."

Alex gave the other man a sleepy smile. "I want to talk to you. I want to look at you... I miss you so much."

Fox touched the monitor. "I miss you too, baby."

"...Tell me about your day."

Fox recounted the events of the last few hours, and halfway through his story about a blowout between two assistant directors right in the middle of a hall on the third floor, he saw Alex’s eyes close for longer than it would take to blink.

"Okay. Story time’s over. You go to bed."

"...It’s only three-thirty."

"And? You’ve had a long day, and you’re probably still a little jet lagged. Go on. Take a nap. If you wake up in a few hours, and you can’t go back to sleep, call me."

Alex pouted as he thought it over.

"Get going," Fox commanded in a sweet tone. Alex sighed.

"Okay."

"All right." Fox put his fingers to his lips then pressed them to the screen. "I love you."

Alex returned the gesture. "Love you too."

Fox broke the connection, shut the computer down and sat brooding for almost twenty minutes before he decided to get up and find some dinner.

"Morning, Mulder."

"Morning."

"What’s the matter with you? You look like hell."

"Thanks."

"Did you not sleep well?"

"No, I guess not."

"Something on your mind? I mean, besides the usual?"

"I talked to Alex at about six last night. By six-thirty, he was so tired I told him to go and get some rest, and if he woke up later, I told him to call me. He must have slept till pretty late, if not all night."

"Ohhh, so you’re in withdrawal, is that it?"

One corner of Fox’s mouth tilted upward. "Yeah, I guess."

"I talked to Peter at about ten, and he did say that Alex was asleep."

Fox nodded. "If I don’t hear from him by lunch time, I’ll call." He opened the top drawer of the file cabinet and flipped quickly through the third folder.

"Where’s this place that we’re going to?"

"Llama farm just off of exit eight."

Scully groaned. "Think I’ll stay in the car."

"Why would you do that?" Fox asked as they left the office, and he locked the door.

"Those things are nasty, Mulder. They spit."

"Has one ever spit at you?"

"No, but one got my brother Bill, once. Right in the eye."

Fox burst into laughter, followed by his partner as they made their way to the parking garage. Nearly an hour later, the agents were looking down at the charred remains of six llamas.

"We didn’t move them," the owner of the farm said. "They’re exactly where I found them this morning."

Scully turned around in a circle and stopped when she met the farmer’s eye.

"Exactly?"

"Yep."

Fox looked from one animal to the other.

"Nose to tail. Same positioning of the legs. Mr. Lawson, did you see anything odd last night?"

"Odd as in..."

"Anything in the sky. Lights or... sorry; s’cuse me for minute."

Fox took a few steps away from the scene and pulled his ringing cell phone out of his pocket. Scully stepped in and began asking questions while he answered it.

"Mulder... hey, Peter."

Scully stopped in mid question as she glanced in her partner’s direction and saw his troubled expression.

"Peter... Peter, you sound awful. What is it?"

The voice on the other end, tense and heavy with tears yet unshed, spoke the words Fox had thought he’d never hear.

"Mulder... Alex is rejecting the heart."

END