There have been many things that have happened in my life that I don't understand and this is definitely one of them. I know that I am not to question God by asking "why?" but I sure would like an explanation. But I know that there is a time for all things to be revealed. I just have to wait and pray in the meantime.
I miss you more than words could ever describe. The only real thing that keeps me going is knowing that you are in a better place. I will never have to wonder where you are, who you are with, and if you are okay. You will never have to hurt or feel any of the pains in this cruel world again. Rest now, for you are at your Father's house and he is going to take very good care of you.
I no longer have to worry about you and your well being. I constantly worried about you. I see now why you had to live that fast life. Well, no one can say that you didn’t enjoy life. I am glad that you lived your short life to the fullest. That is one thing that I have learned from you. I am going to try to enjoy my life a little more. You never know when your time is up.
I'll admit, I was a bit mad at first because I felt like you left me here all alone. I've never had to go though a lost without you until now. But I know that you didn't intentionally leave me. I feel that if you could turn back the hands of time, you'd still be here.
You know it was pretty hard for me to walk down that aisle without you. I've never had to do that before. Everytime I walked down that aisle or any other aisle, you were by my side. When Momma, Uncle John Lewis, and Grandpa died we were side by side. And even when I got married. I've never felt as alone as I did at that moment, walking down that aisle, alone, to you in a casket. You were all I had left.
Ever since Momma died, my goal has always been to live a life that is pleasing in God's eyes. It is even more so now. Even though you are physically gone, you are still one of my reason's for living. I have to keep your memory alive. I will do that in any and every way that I know how.
As the days go by, I get stronger. I can feel God's love and family and friend's prayers. I am getting stronger day by day. I am not saying that it gets any easier or that I don't cry because it isn't any easier and I still wipe tears. But that is only normal. The Bible says in John 11:35 "Jesus wept". So it is okay to cry. It shows my love. I must love you a whole lot (smile).
The family sends their love. I am going to take good care of Granny just as you were doing. Well, Big Bro it is time for me to go for now. Give Momma, "Devin",D.J. (Derrick Jr.), Grandpa and Uncle John Lewis my love. Until we meet again! I love you and I will cherish our good times.
Eternally, "Lil' Sis"
