Reflections

It was a simple ceremony, important only to the two involved.

Qui-Gon had returned from their various missions after Bandomeer, bringing an elated thirteen-year-old Obi-Wan with him, as his new Padawan Learner. Immediately after their arrival on Coruscant, they had reported first to the Jedi Council, then to the Chancellor what had happened during their eventful trips.

After, Obi-Wan was both exhausted and exhilarated. In one day, he had met the leader of the Galactic Republic, and faced the Council standing in the padawan's position a little behind and to Qui-Gon's left. His tongue, stuck to the roof of his mouth from pride and excitement, had made it difficult to give his report to the Council; but he had managed, somehow, to tell them about his experiences. After delivering their report, Qui-Gon had said nothing about his new apprentice to the Council, but Obi-Wan had caught the approving look Master Yoda had given Qui-Gon.

With their duties dispatched, Obi-Wan, exhausted and able to move only through an excess of adrenaline, followed Qui-Gon back to his living quarters in the Temple. Obi-Wan expected his new master to talk about his future training, about what was expected of his new padawan. But the tall master remained silent during their journey through the long, quiet hallways, as if Obi-Wan were not there.

Once they reached the rooms that served as Qui-Gon's quarters for the brief periods he was on Coruscant, the quarters that were now Obi-Wan's new home, the Jedi Master had merely turned to Obi-Wan and said, "Go wash your hair," then turned his attention on another task. Obi-Wan hesitated, confused and a little hurt, but turned silently to obey his new master. He put his bags into an empty corner of the sitting room, then entered the washroom.

After showering, he put a clean tunic and leggings on, wanting nothing other than sleep. He returned to the sitting room and glanced around, wondering which bedroom would be his. But Qui-Gon had been busy while Obi-Wan was in the shower. A storage box sat open on the low table; the Jedi Master was laying various items in an orderly row beside it. Glancing up at Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon motioned him into the room. "Obi-Wan," he said, "sit here, in front of the mirror." He pointed to a bedroom door, which, with a command from Qui-Gon, closed and changed to a full length mirror. Obi-Wan, fatigue momentarily forgotten, sat on his knees on the floor, back straight, in his usual meditation position. Questions bubbled on his tongue but he managed, with effort, to keep silent.

Qui-Gon pulled another mirror from the box, and set it up behind Obi-Wan, who sat staring at the set of his infinite reflections created by the two opposite mirrors. Through their reflection, he watched as his new master placed a small, rectangular wooden box on the floor next to Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon disappeared briefly into one bedroom and returned with a second box, laying it on the floor next to the first. Obi-Wan, out of the side of his vision, studied it; it was made of inlaid dark and light woods, varnished to a high gloss. It was handmade, he decided with awe, and very beautiful. He wondered what could matter so much, to a Jedi Master who cared little for personal possessions, to be housed in such a box.

Obi-Wan's attention shifted back to his master as Qui-Gon knelt behind him, gazing at both of them into the mirror. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, feeling the power of Qui-Gon's hands on his shoulders. Though Qui-Gon did not move, Obi-Wan felt the merest ripple in the Force as his new master drew lightly on its power. The effect was that of a loving caress of the Force; it took Obi-Wan's breath away. Obi-Wan's skin tingled as his new master sent a small wave of the Force into him, energizing him in a way he had never felt before. His exhaustion was forgotten.

After a minute of silence, Obi-Wan remembered to breathe again. He opened his eyes.

Qui-Gon was looking at him through the reflection in the mirrors. His words, resonant in the Force, had the powerful weight of history and ceremony behind them. Obi-Wan listened silently, watching the infinite Qui-Gons and Obi-Wans reflected in the two mirrors.

"For over twenty-five thousand years, the Jedi Knights have protected peace and order in the galaxy. In many cases it was Jedi alone who kept the forces of chaos and evil at bay. This is our duty, in exchange for the great power and abilities granted to us through the will of the Force, to dedicate our lives, by a solemn vows, to serve the Republic and to live according to the values of our Order. To do otherwise is to endanger the galaxy with darkness.

"Only the Jedi student who has not only the skill and ability to grow in power within the Force, but also the presence of mind and discipline of emotion to undergo further training, is chosen to be Padawan Learner by a Knight or Master. The Master, in turn, dedicates over a decade to nurturing and developing the talents of their apprentice. Only by training a Knight individually do we keep those who would abuse the privilege and powers of a full Jedi from attaining the rank, skill, and power of a Jedi Knight. Only by individual training, are the rough talents of a student honed into the grace and skill of a Knight. It is part of our many traditions, which carry the weight of millennia behind them."

Qui-Gon paused, then, to Obi-Wan's surprise, took a hair brush, and began, slowly, to brush his hair. Obi-Wan's scalp tingled, reacting to the whispering touch of the Force through the hands of his master and communicated through the brush. The rhythm of the brush strokes soothed him. When at length Qui-Gon stopped, Obi-Wan felt a pang of regret.

He watched as Qui-Gon next reached down and opened the rectangular wooden box. Inside, lay a silver-hued pair of scissors. His master took the scissors into his right hand and held them in front of Obi-Wan. "When a human master takes an apprentice, it is our tradition that the apprentice's hair be shorn by his new master. It is a symbol of the apprentice's new life in the Order, of the solemn dedication of the apprentice to obey and serve his master in all things. It is also a symbol of the master's dedication to the training of the apprentice, until he rises to the level of Knight."

Through the connection to his new master through the Force, Obi-Wan received a brief glimpse of the thousands of other human padawans whose hair had been cut by their new masters with those scissors. He saw Qui-Gon's own Master, and gasped, realizing it had been Master Yoda. Obi-Wan had not known that his master had been the great Jedi Councilor's last apprentice.

Obi-Wan shuddered as the vision faded, then froze as Qui-Gon began cutting his hair. How long has it been since he cut anyone's hair? Obi-Wan wondered in the undisciplined part of his mind. Brows furrowed in deep concentration, Qui-Gon began on Obi-Wan's left side, carefully grasping one small section of hair, cutting it close to Obi-Wan's head, then starting on another. As Qui-Gon worked, the only sound was the scissors' rasping cuts. Through the mirror, Obi-Wan watched as more and more of his hair fell to his shoulders, to his knees, onto the floor. Seeing that Qui-Gon left the shorn sections neat and even, Obi-Wan forgot his worries about Qui-Gon's skill with the scissors.

Muscles straining to keep himself absolutely still, Obi-Wan felt the weight of childhood worry and care lift from his shoulders, as each section of hair was lifted and its weight released as it was cut. With the fall of each section of hair, Obi-Wan saw his childhood falling, bit by bit, behind him. He was no longer a desperate twelve-year-old, seeking comfort and reassurance in familiar childhood games and sparring as his chances to become a Knight faded with the approach of his thirteenth birthday, closer and closer each passing day. He was no longer the boy who, out of despair, had begged Qui-Gon to take him as his apprentice, and had his spirit crushed after being rebuffed too many times. He was no longer the farmer-to-be on Bandomeer, glumly resigned to a future without a place in the Order. He was no longer a Jedi student. With each cut, he belonged more and more to his new master. He was now Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Padawan Learner to Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He would follow Qui-Gon's every step, obey his commands, be the best apprentice in the Order.

The rhythm of cutting slowed when Qui-Gon reached Obi-Wan's right side. Qui-Gon set down the scissors, leaving a square of longer hair above his right ear. It was long enough only to reach the bottom of his earlobe.

Qui-Gon broke the silence that had dominated the room. "Human padawans display their dedication to their training by keeping their hair shorn, free of all style and ornament, except for their braid, which is a symbol of their status as Learner. Only when the Padawan becomes a Knight is the braid cut by his former master." Qui-Gon paused, looking into Obi-Wan's eyes reflected in the mirror in front of them. "It shall be my pleasure to cut your braid when you pass your trials, my padawan." Obi-Wan smiled at the certainty in his master's voice, that he would be able to pass the trials in the distant future. Obi-Wan's smile faded, however, when he saw his master's face. Qui-Gon's eyes were focused inwardly; he was frowning. Obi-Wan felt momentary doubt emanating from the older man. Before Obi-Wan could ask his master what was wrong, Qui-Gon came back to himself with a small shake of his head.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath, then picked up the inlaid wooden box from the floor where he had set it earlier. He hesitated momentarily, then touched a button on one side of the box. Obi-Wan heard a quiet hiss of air as the box opened, its vacuum seal broken. Through the mirror, he caught a brief glimpse of its contents. A long, narrow, light brown braid of hair rested on the green silk lining. Obi-Wan knew instantly that it was Qui-Gon's own padawan braid. Tightly woven and bound at each end, the braid looked to be nearly half a meter in length. At one end, the grey hair was interwoven with the light brown.

Qui-Gon cautiously lifted the braid from its box, then set the box down. He held the braid in the middle, and moved the binder at one end several centimeters toward the middle. After retrieving the scissors, Qui-Gon cut the braid just under the binder's new position. Qui-Gon then returned both the scissors and the longer portion of his braid into their boxes. Grasping the shorter portion of the boy's braid, the Jedi master held it so it touched Obi-Wan's hair at the end of the remaining longer section near his earlobe. Qui-Gon hesitated, deep in thought. The older man's braid slowly unwound.

Obi-Wan felt a hint of uncertainty from his master, and shifted his weight awkwardly in his kneeling position on the floor. He thought about what Xanatos had told him about Qui-Gon when they were on Bandomeer. He denies you his trust. Yet he demands everything of you. Obi-Wan realized, with sudden insight, that Qui-Gon's reserve was borne out of fear -- yes, fear -- of betrayal, and vowed to himself that he would never to give Qui-Gon any reason to mistrust him. He would rather die first. He would learn to live with little praise, if that was the price of becoming part of this great man's life.

Obi-Wan looked into the mirror, and caught Qui-Gon looking at him. His master's emotions had changed; satisfaction and confidence now resonated from the older man. A smile lit his face.

"We are all connected, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said after a moment. "Not only through the miracle of the Force, but also through our dedication to learning and practice and living as tools of the Force's will. As my master before me, so do I give a part of myself to you as symbol of our bond to one another. My padawan braid joins the beginning of yours as symbol of the continuity of life within the Force and life within our Order."

With practiced hands Qui-Gon neatly wove the longer strands of his own braid into Obi-Wan's shorter hair above his right ear, then bound it with a tie. The braid now hung nearly to Obi-Wan's shoulder, the two hues of interwoven brown clearly visible. Qui-Gon pushed the braid behind his padawan's ear, then looked up and smiled.

Obi-Wan stared into the mirror, wide-eyed, at Qui-Gon and at his new braid. His heart pounded as if he had run the length of the Temple. Carefully, he reached up and felt the braid, fingering it reverently. His master's hair was now part of him. As he looked at Qui-Gon in the mirror, he suddenly saw hundreds of masters, clothed in the simple robes of the Jedi, standing and smiling proudly in sequence, behind Qui-Gon. It seemed as if he could see each master and padawan, men and women, human and alien, to the beginning of their Order. His own reflection began the line. At that moment, Obi-Wan realized his place as the recipient of a great inheritance: the wisdom and power of a long and noble line of Knights and Masters, and felt privileged to be part of their heritage. Briefly, he wondered who, in time, would step ahead of him, becoming his own padawan learner when he was a Knight. Who will receive part of my braid? he wondered, realizing the person would probably not be born yet. Who will kneel before me in the mirror, and join the line?

Qui-Gon, still behind Obi-Wan, regarded his new apprentice through the mirror's reflection. Noticing Obi-Wan's awe, he merely smiled, and said brightly, "You are now my apprentice."

Obi-Wan's heart filled with pride. He wanted to jump up and shout for joy, but Padawans, he thought, should maintain their dignity. Instead, he simply grinned at his new master.