Jedi Apprentice #6--Cheshire Cat style

By Cheshire Cat



Tahl looked up as Qui-Gon entered the starfighter.

"Where's your Padawan?" She asked.

"He's not my Padawan any longer." The answer shook Tahl. She knew how badly Xanatos' betrayal had cut Qui-Gon. To have it done again so soon after...

Qui-Gon said no more. He leapt into the pilot's chair and took the starfighter into space.

_*_

"Obi-Wan, what are you doing back here? You said you were going to get the starfighter," Cerasi asked, confused.

"Qui-Gon got there first," he choked out. He was trying very hard not to cry.

Cerasi's eyes flew wide open. She embraced her friend. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I know how hard this is for you."

Obi-Wan nodded, numb. He was only beginning to realize the full spectrum of consequences that came with abandoning his life as a Jedi.

_*_

Once in deep space, Qui-Gon came back into the main cabin, where Tahl was resting. Using the first-aid kit on board, he was able to treat her wounds more professionally than previously.

As he cleaned out a cut on the side of her face, she asked him, "What happened between you and your Apprentice down there?"

Qui-Gon grunted.

Although she was blind, she knew exactly where his hand was. She grabbed it and stared, unseeing, right at him.

"Tell me, Qui-Gon. Please."

"He wanted to use the starfighter. I forbade it. He wanted me to wait for him while he took it into battle." Qui-Gon took her other hand. "That was something I could not do."

"So you left him there?"

"He chose freely. He wanted to stay. He will make a new life there."

Tahl pulled her hands back angrily. "He will die there, Qui-Gon. You know that as well as I. You chose to let him die."

"Would you have me fight my own Apprentice? He drew his blade on me, Tahl. That is something I cannot condone."

"You should have made him."

"I cannot _make_ him do something he does not want to do."

Tahl huffed. "You should have turned him over your knee and given him a thundering good hiding."

At that mental image, Qui-Gon choked back a laugh. Then he sobered. "No, Tahl," he said. "If he's old enough to make his own decisions, he's old enough to experience the consequences of his actions."

Tahl smiled faintly at her old friend. "Have you thought for one moment about what Master Yoda will say when you tell him about this."

Although Tahl could not see his face, she knew Qui-Gon winced.

"He's not going to be happy," Qui-Gon said slowly.

"That's putting it mildly. If you're lucky, you won't escape with *too* many bruises."

Qui-Gon snorted. "He hasn't hit me with that stick of his since I was a Padawan."

Tahl grinned. "Liar."

_*_

Meanwhile, down on Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan faced a quandary. He was kneeling behind a bombed out wall, crouching in the muck with Nield and Cerasi. Debris and shrapnel were raining steadily from the sky. Obi-Wan, no longer in possession of his lightsabre, held a rocket launcher in his arms. It was nearly as big as he was, and as heavy. It was with some effort that he was able to carry it at all.

"Fire," Nield screamed over the noise. Cerasi pulled a cord and the launcher shuddered in Obi-Wan's arms. He held onto it with all his strength. He watched the bomb fly out of its sheath, up into the air. With a curious sort of detachment, he watched it strike a Daan floater. He watched, as if in slow motion, as the floater disintegrated in mid-air, raining burning debris down on the children in the streets.

_*_

Qui-Gon activated his comm-link. He punched in the coordinates for Master Yoda. The time had come to make his rather painful report.

"Master, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Yoda's heavy-lidded eyes opened wide. "What?"

Qui-Gon winced. He shouldn't have started the conversation that way. "Tahl's fine," he said quickly. Yoda sighed with relief. "The bad news has to do with Obi-Wan."

"Injured is your Padawan?"

Qui-Gon swallowed, trying to suppress the bitterness in his words as he said, "He's not my Padawan."

"Qui-Gon, explain you will!"

"He chose to stay. To stay on the planet. He gave me his lightsabre. He…he quit, Master." Qui-Gon suddenly felt his emotions swamp him. To lose two Padawans, one right after the other - Sith, but this was hard.

"Humph," grumbled Yoda. "Speak more on this we will. Come before the Council you must. Discuss the situation on Melida/Daan we will."

Qui-Gon bowed to the miniature hologram. "Yes, Master. With any luck, Tahl and I will be there tomorrow morning."

"Farewell, Qui-Gon."

"Good bye, Master. May the Force be with you."

Yoda nodded and ended the transmission.

Qui-Gon clicked off his comm-link and sank dejectedly into the pilot's chair. Tahl was resting in the cabin.

"Why do I keep doing this?" He asked the empty cockpit. "What is wrong with me?"

Chapter 2

Qui-Gon knelt before Master Yoda. The diminutive Jedi Master paced back and forth, leaning heavily on his walking stick.

"Disturbing this is," he said.

"Yes, my Master."

"Foolish, both of you were," Yoda said.

Qui-Gon winced. "Master, I-"

"Childishly you behaved, Qui-Gon," Yoda snapped. "Selfish you were. Left him, you should not have!" With the last, he brought his walking stick against the side of Qui-Gon's head, just above his ear. Qui-Gon was not expecting that and he nearly lost his balance. The force behind the blow was not significant, but it was enough that Qui-Gon knew the Jedi Master was seriously annoyed with him.

Qui-Gon shook his head to clear the stars he saw behind his eyes. "I didn't leave him," he protested. "He chose to stay. I tried to get him to come with me."

The tap, tap, tap of Yoda's cane was the only sound that greeted that comment. Finally, the Jedi Master turned to face Qui-Gon. "Go back you should, and fetch him you will."

"Go back?" Qui-Gon echoed. "I can't go back."

"Hmm?"

"I can't do it," Qui-Gon said, swallowing hard. "I can't. It's too hard."

"Hard, life is!" Yoda scolded. "Return to your Padawan's side you must. Stubborn you must not be." He reached out a gnarled green hand and touched Qui-Gon's cheek gently. "Not this time," Yoda added, softly.

_*_*_

"No, Cerasi," Obi-Wan said. "I'm not going to kill anyone in cold blood."

The girl had been trying to convince Obi-Wan to sneak into the Elders' Headquarters with her to take out some of their enemies.

"But Obi-Wan," she protested. "We might never get another chance like this. It'll be so easy. We just slip in through the grating, slit a few throats, and slip out again."

"No, I'm not a murderer."

"Obi-Wan, listen to me. These people have murdered more people than you can imagine. We will be doing a great service."

"For the last time, Cerasi, I won't do it."

"You're still following the Jedi Code, aren't you?" The shorthaired girl scoffed at him.

"Maybe I am," he said, "but I'm not being a Jedi now. I'm being a *good person*."

"Fine!" She snapped at him. "I'll just go by myself then."

Obi-Wan flinched. He didn't want to let her. But he knew that if he tried to stop her, she'd just get angrier. She and Nield were all he had left now. He couldn't afford to lose them. Unable to think of a response, he simply turned away. Cerasi stared at his back. She wrinkled her nose and huffed. And then she clambered up a rough ladder, made of iron staples set into the stone. She slid aside the grating on the ceiling of the sewer tunnel and scooted through.

Obi-Wan waited, nervous. He could hear her above him for a few moments, and then there was silence. He reached out with his Jedi senses, and then stopped himself. He was no longer a Jedi. He wondered vaguely if he could still use the Force. He hadn't taken the Oath of Disavowal - what the Jedi were supposed to do when they quit. The Oath stated that the former-Jedi would never use his powers for evil. But this wasn't evil - this was helping his friend. Maybe he could sense if she got in trouble and he could go help her. Finished rationalizing his behavior, he reached out, focusing on the signature that was Cerasi.

He could sense her moving through dark halls on silent feet. He felt a third presence. Then fear, quick and dark. And then the third presence was gone. Obi-Wan suddenly felt sick. He was momentarily glad that he was in a sewer as he stumbled to a corner and, leaning against the wall, retched violently.

_*_*_

Qui-Gon piloted the shuttle off Coruscant. He scowled. He didn't think Yoda truly understood the magnitude of what he was asking Qui-Gon to do. Or maybe he did.

"Manipulative little green bastard," he grumbled.

Melida/Daan wasn't far from the Galactic Capital. It wouldn't taken him long to get there. But the journey was not what he was dreading. It was the culmination of said journey. Chapter 3

Obi-Wan wiped his the back of hand over his mouth. He spit again, trying to clear the acid from his mouth.

He could hear Cerasi coming back, her dreadful mission accomplished. He listened intently. She was being followed.

Light showed briefly in the dark tunnel as the grate was flung back. Cerasi through herself down the opening, missing the top step of the rough ladder. Obi-Wan lunged forward, catching her as she fell.

She grinned at him, her white teeth in stark contrast to her face, which was streaked with grime and, more recently, blood.

"Thanks," she whispered.

He smiled back at her and set her gently on her feet.

"Come on," she hissed, grabbing his hand. "They're coming."

The two of them ran through the tunnels. Obi-Wan started off one way, but she tugged at him. "No, we can't lead them back to the headquarters. Let's go this way."

"What's over there?"

"You'll see," she said, her eyes sparkling in the dim light.

The two teenagers ran through the shallow water, purposefully making noise so their pursuers would follow them away from the other children.

They neared a part of the tunnel that seemed darker somehow--and seemed to move.

At the last second, Cerasi grabbed Obi-Wan's shoulder and yanked him into a side tunnel. Their pursuers ran past them. Obi-Wan heard them swear profusely and then he heard them begin to scream. Their screams were the most bloodcurdling noise he'd ever heard. And then they died down to a few gurgling cries before cutting out all together.

He shuddered. "What in the seven hells was down there?"

"That's where the garbage shoots converge. The sewer rodents live down there. Some of them are nearly a meter long. They're carnivorous," she grinned, gleefully.

"You knew that they'd eat them?" Obi-Wan asked, incredulous.

She shrugged. "They got what they deserved."

Obi-Wan didn't argue. He was too busy being sick again.

_*_*_

The shuttle, piloted by Qui-Gon, approached the planet warily. Qui-Gon regarded the planet from the portal. It looked so peaceful from this height. So beautiful. Browns and greens and blues. But it was not the beauty that made his heart ache. It was the knowledge that somewhere down there, his former Padawan was fighting a war he could not win. A war Qui-Gon was powerless to stop.

The planet was closer now. Qui-Gon could see the lights from the capital city of Zehava. He adjusted his course minutely. He landed in the canyon that he and Obi-Wan had landed in the last time they'd been here. His heart lurched. It seemed so long ago, but it had only been ten days. Ten days, and how his life had changed!

Steeling himself to the task ahead, Qui-Gon set off on the long hike to Zehava.

_*_*_

Obi-Wan and Cerasi barely exchanged five words on their way back to headquarters. Nield looked up as they entered. He smiled faintly.

"Well," he asked, "did you accomplish everything?"

"I didn't get them all," Cerasi admitted. "But the rodents in the Delta Tunnel finished the job."

"Excellent," Nield said, his face breaking into a wide grin. He then seemed to notice Obi-Wan for the first time.

"Why so glum, friend?

"The rodents kinda freaked him out," Cerasi said. "He'll be okay."

Nield clapped his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I understand. I don't like rodents either. Nobody does. But sometimes, they can aid us."

Obi-Wan forced a smile. "I'll be okay. I just need a moment to myself."

Nield nodded, pulling Cerasi away. "Well," he said, "you know where to find us."

Obi-Wan nodded, watching them leave. Then he climbed onto a ledge and pulled his knees up to his chest. He rested his forehead on his knees. When he was certain he was totally alone, he broke down and sobbed like a little boy.

_*_*_

"Did you and Obi-Wan have a fight?" Nield asked, concerned.

"Sort of. He didn't want me to kill them. He said it was wrong."

"Why?"

"He said it was murder. I said they were murderers first. I tried to explain to him that by killing them we were saving lives, but he it still bothered him. And then the rodents *really* bothered him," Cerasi said.

Nield frowned. "This isn't good. We need Obi-Wan. We can't have dissent amongst ourselves. We are one. If we start arguing amongst ourselves, this whole thing will fall apart."

_*_*_

Obi-Wan's tunic was streaked with grime. There were bloodstains on it too. Some of the blood was his own, from shrapnel in the streets. But the largest, newest stain was the blood of an Elder he'd never met. One of the ones Cerasi had just killed. When he'd caught her in the tunnel, the blood had come from her hands. Obi-Wan thought he might throw up again, but his stomach was empty. His eyes were bereft of tears. He'd cried for nearly an hour before he'd stopped, too exhausted to do any more.

Suddenly he sat upright, startled. He felt a flicker, a ripple in the Force. It was familiar. It was not one he thought he'd ever feel again. Qui-Gon.

Chapter 4

Qui-Gon made his way through the deserted streets. It was about four o'clock in the morning. /Most sane people are asleep right now/ He grumbled to himself.

He used his Force-honed senses to find the sewer-grate that was the entrance to the labyrinth of tunnels the Young utilized. Kneeling on the pavement, he twisted the round, mental cover out of the way. Admiration for the strength of the children who lived in the tunnels flickered briefly as he hefted its weight out of the way.

He lowered his large frame slowly through the opening, his feet searching for the iron staples he knew were there. His right boot tapped against one and he began his descent.

Once in the tunnel, he hadn't gone three meters when he sensed another person in the tunnel. "Hello," he said, levelly. "I am Qui-Gon Jinn. I have come for Obi-Wan."

The child nodded, mutely. Qui-Gon noticed it was a little girl about seven years old. His heart ached for her. She was too young to be carrying a blaster. A blaster she pointed at him. The thought made him vaguely uncomfortable.

"Can you point that somewhere else?" He asked gently.

She lowered the muzzle slightly. Now it was only pointing at his waist. Qui-Gon shrugged. It was a start.

"Can you take me to Nield and Cerasi?" Qui-Gon asked.

The little girl nodded, but made no movement.

Qui-Gon sighed. Sometimes he hated working with children. "Will you take me to Nield and Cerasi?" He asked, trying again.

The little one nodded again, and, slinging the blaster over her shoulder, set off down the tunnel.

_*_*_

Obi-Wan fidgeted. He knew Qui-Gon was close by. Had the Jedi come back for him? Or had he merely come on the Council's orders to further the peace process? Would Qui-Gon take him back as his Padawan after the things he'd said and done? Did he want to go back? Question after question plagued his mind and the boy felt dizzy.

_*_*_

Nield looked up from his maps as Qui-Gon entered, led by a small child.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, not unkindly. "Obi-Wan said you'd left."

"I did leave. But now I'm back," Qui-Gon answered, smoothly. "And speaking of Obi-Wan, do you know where I can find him?"

Nield regarded the older man levelly. "Perhaps he does not want to be found."

Qui-Gon gritted his teeth in frustration. "Very well," he said. "Tell him that I'm here. If he wants to see me, he will come."

"And if he doesn't?" Nield had to ask.

Qui-Gon repressed a shudder. It was a question he'd been asking himself. "There are formalities involved in quitting the Jedi. Obi-Wan never went through the ritual. He never took the Oath of Disavowal. He and I must do these things if he does not want to come with me."

Nield nodded to the Jedi. He spoke quietly with a boy of about nine. The boy ran off down a tunnel and disappeared into the gloom.

_*_*_

Obi-Wan looked up from his melancholy as a young boy appeared in the archway.

"Come," he said.

"Come where?" Obi-Wan asked, perplexed.

"There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" He asked, although he already knew the answer. It could only be Qui-Gon. He suppressed a tremor. He wasn't quite sure if he really wanted to see Qui-Gon again.

"A man. He's tall, and he has long hair and a beard."

"Does he look angry?" Obi-Wan asked.

"No," the boy said.

"Alright. I'm coming." Obi-Wan climbed down from his perch. He tried to dust himself off, but decided it was a lost cause. He was far too filthy.

_*_*_

Qui-Gon brightened when he saw Obi-Wan enter the large, arched underground chamber.

"Hello, Pad - Obi-wan. I'm glad to find you still in one piece," he smiled.

"Hello, Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan faltered. He didn't know what else to say. The words seemed stuck in his throat. Finally he said, "I didn't expect to see you. I didn't think you'd come back."

Qui-Gon smiled at him. "I didn't think I would either. But Master Yoda was* displeased that I left you here. He convinced me to return. I*We need to talk."

Obi-Wan nodded. "You want me to take the Oath of Disavowal, don't you?" He asked, shrewdly.

"Only if you want to," Qui-Gon replied. "There is another option." Qui-Gon paused, regarding Obi-Wan seriously. "You do not have to stay here."

Obi-Wan felt his eyes watering again. It was such a relief that Qui-Gon didn't hate him. He turned away slightly, so that Qui-Gon couldn't see his face.

Qui-Gon sensed Obi-Wan's relief. He knew the boy wanted to return to the Jedi. But would he take that step?

Obi-Wan looked up at Qui-Gon. "Do you want me to?"

"Want you to what?"

"To come back. Do you want me as your Apprentice now?"

Qui-Gon took a deep breath. Now was the time when all the pieces came together. When he spoke, he spoke from his heart. "I'd be honored to have you as my Padawan."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Then I will," he said. Suddenly his smile faded.

"What's wrong?" Qui-Gon asked, concerned.

"I did some bad things when you were gone. I--I let Cerasi kill some people. I didn't want her to, but she went anyway. I couldn't stop her," the words tumbled forth. Obi-Wan's tears could no longer be held back. They streamed down his cheeks, making little rivulets down the grime on his face.

Qui-Gon reached out a hand and awkwardly patted the boy's shoulder. "Obi-Wan, we are not responsible for the actions of others. All we can do is guide them by the force of our own example. If they choose not to follow, then the choice is theirs and theirs alone."

Obi-Wan nodded, sniffling. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, which did nothing to improve the grime. Qui-Gon smiled faintly. They'd just have to burn Obi-Wan's current robes and get him some new ones. Laundry was a far distant option at this point.

"Come on," said Qui-Gon. "Let's go home, Padawan."

"Yes, Master."

THE END




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