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Incoming Message from NytsGrrl. Will you accept? Y

NytsGrrl: Hello GltrNyt

GltrNyt: Hello NytsGrrl

NytsGrrl: You're a knight? As in Jedi?

GltrNyt: You got it.

NytsGrrl: Ooh... Jedi are so sexy...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obi-Wan grinned at the computer terminal, casting a quick glance at Reeft. "You won't believe this. I just logged on and someone's messaging me!"

Reeft came to the terminal in disbelief. "You're kidding! You've only been on a few seconds!"

"I know," Obi-Wan laughed. "No wonder we're not allowed to go on the network. They jump all over you." He brought up the profile of NytsGrrl and read it to the group. "Listen to this... 'Female, red hair and green eyes. Interests... Jedi Knights.'"

"I still can't believe you pulled it off Obi-Wan," Bant said, pulling up a chair. "If we get caught..."

"We won't get caught," Reeft answered. "Obi-Wan wired the whole thing with a bounce through Councillor Mundi's lines. No problems."

Ishara shook her head, standing behind Obi-Wan. "I have a bad feeling about this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: So you like Jedi?

NytsGrrl: Oh yeah, they are the best *swordsmen*

GltrNyt: Well we do study techniques from all over the galaxy.

NytsGrrl: So you know how to handle your lightsword?

GltrNyt: Lightsaber my sweet, saber.

NytsGrrl: As long as you know how to use it...

GltrNyt: I was trained by the best. Now I am the best

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mace called Qui-Gon over to the terminal. "Hey Qui, here's another one."

Qui-Gon took a quick gulp of his beer. "Another wannabe Knight? Gods, can't people be creative for once?"

Mace pulled up the keyboard. "Remember when we used to do this when we were padawans?"

Qui-Gon grimaced. "The irony is that it's how many years later and we still aren't getting any?"

Mace snorted and began to type.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: So tell me about yourself.

GltrNyt: Not much to tell.

NytsGrrl: You're being modest.

GltrNyt: Jedis are not prideful. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Prideful, Obi-Wan? Are you sure that's a word?" Reeft asked.

"Of course it is," he answered smugly. "Master Qui-Gon uses it all the time."

"As in 'Obi-Wan if you don't get your prideful posterior out of bed..." Shara snickered. Bant giggled.

"Oh hush," he answered, typing furiously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: But what about you, tell me about you, sweet.

NytsGrrl: Me? I'm not that interesting..

GltrNyt: Now who's being modest?

NytsGrrl: Ok. What would you like to know?

GltrNyt: Are you fat?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mace stared at the screen. "What does he mean 'Am I fat?'"

Qui-Gon took another sip of his ale. "I never understood that myself. It's like some secret society handshake. Did Depa ever ask you that when she was your padawan?"

Mace nodded. "A few times. I always said she looked beautiful, and she always began to cry and then would run off and sulk for a few hours. After the third time, I gave up." He looked back at the screen. "So what should we say?"

"Ignore it," Qui-Gon answered. "Let's stroke his 'Jedi' ego a bit more."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: What about you? Are you tall?

GltrNyt: Tall enough. My padawan has to run to keep up with me.

NytsGrrl: I bet I could keep up with you.

GltrNyt: Only one way to find out...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe you did that Obi-Wan!" Bant hissed. "Asking her if she's fat..."

"Well it worked didn't it?" Obi-Wan pointed to the screen. "She's all but begging me."

Shara smiled, "But you notice she didn't answer the question? How do you know you're really talking to a girl?"

Reeft looked at Shara in disbelief. "C'mon, 'NytsGrrl?' The way she's hitting on us? Besides, what kind of weirdo would be posing as a girl online?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: So true.

GltrNyt: So tell me more.

NytsGrrl: Like what?

GltrNyt: What else do you like about Jedis?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Qui-Gon stared at the screen. "This guy is an idiot."

Mace just chuckled. "So what else do we like?"

"I don't know. Make something up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: Well all the knights look so sexy in the uniforms.

GltrNyt: Oh, you like the beige?

NytsGrrl: Oh yeah, and the Boots... I just love the boots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reeft nudged Obi-Wan then. "See, she loves the boots."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Chicks dig the boots."

Bant looked back at Shara. "We do?"

"Apparently."

Bant nodded thoughtfully, glancing at her footwear, then to Obi-Wan's. Shrugging, she turned back to the screen.

Obi-Wan gasped. "She likes the belt too. Thick leather turns her on."

Shara folded her arms. "I still say it's a guy."

Reeft stared at her in shock. "You think a guy would write something like that?"

"Leather? Please. It screams 'I'm a pervy guy who wants to mess around with a Jedi Knight.'"

"Actually Shara, I like..." Bant cleared her throat. "I mean I know some

people who like leather."

They stared at her, eyes wide.

~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: I have a thing for leather. Do you find that strange?

GltrNyt: Not at all. I find leather quite... Stimulating.

NytsGrrl: So you wouldn't be mad about my toys then.

GltrNyt: Toys?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mace wiped the ale off the screen. "You know that now this wannabe Jedi is gonna be getting off thinking about some girl trussed up in leather."

"With a bullwhip."

"Bullwhip?"

Qui-Gon smiled as he typed. "If he's gonna dream, let him dream big."

Mace snickered, then went to get another drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: So you're the adventurous type?

GltrNyt: Jedis do not crave adventure.

NytsGrrl: They don't?

GltrNyt: We prefer more enlightening pursuits.

NytsGrrl: So it's true about you then?

GltrNyt: What's true?

NytsGrrl: That you play the most exquisite mind games?

GltrNyt: Games?

NytsGrrl: Uh huh. I heard you can make a person climax with a thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"WE CAN???" they yelled in unison.

"I have to ask my master about that," Reeft mumbled.

"What are you doing Ben?" Shara asked, watching him type.

He sent the message. "Bluffing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: Yes. We can :)

NytsGrrl: Maybe you should think about me.

GltrNyt: That can be arranged sweet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Qui-Gon wiped the monitor off this time.

Mace handed him another ale. "Oh gods, I can't believe he fell for that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: What else can you do? Are you flexible?

GltrNyt: You'll just have to find out I suppose.

NytsGrrl: I guess I will.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Before you boys get all hot and bothered, you might want to find out if 'she's' the same species," Shara drawled.

Reeft answered, "Oh right. And how are we supposed to do that?"

Obi-Wan snickered, "Hey are you a female humanoid? Are our parts compatible?"

Bant laughed. "You could be a bit more diplomatic."

Obi-Wan shoved the keyboard over. "Go ahead Miss Diplomat. You do it."

Bant thought a moment and typed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: Dear She/He/It: I would like to inquire which species you belong to, what is your gender affiliation and preference and what stage of development you are in..."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mace and Qui-Gon stared at the screen. "He's getting suspicious, Mace. Type something femmy."

Mace turned to Qui-Gon. "Femmy?"

~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: Um...

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe you typed that," Obi-Wan sighed, hand over his eyes.

"Sith Bant, we want to meet her, not put her in a zoo!" Reeft added.

Shara grabbed the keyboard. "Do I have to do everything?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: Thongs or bikinis?

NytsGrrl: What makes you think I'm wearing any?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Qui-Gon stared at Mace. "Gods, do you have to be so obvious?"

Mace downed his drink. "Hey it's either this or we go back to your place and..."

"Just keep typing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: Ooh, tell me more.

NytsGrrl: About me?

GltrNyt: Please? ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Obi-Wan picked himself up off the floor. "Now do you think it's a guy?"

Bant stared at the screen, then handed Shara 20 credits. "You were right. It's a guy."

"Come on," Reeft protested. "No guy could ever write like that."

Shara laughed. "Yeah right. And she never did answer the 'are you fat' question." Bant nodded.

"She's just sensitive," Obi-Wan said.

"Sensitive? She claims to have a bullwhip!" The ladies said in unison, "Guy."

"Fine." Reeft grabbed the keyboard away. "Here. We'll ask it another way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: So are you built for speed or luxury?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Speed or luxury? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mace scratched his head.

"Maybe it goes back to the fat question?" Qui-Gon mused.

"Possibly. But why would it matter?"

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Some like more padding than others?" He sipped his drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: Speed, definitely speed.

GltrNyt: Good, I love speed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shara sat up from the floor wiping the tears away. Still giggling, she said, "Reeft, it's a guy not a speeder."

"Well, she got it. Luxury means fat and she whaaaaaa....!" Reeft found himself on the floor being pummeled by the two young women. "Hey I never said you were fat!"

"Besides," Obi-Wan said, pointing to the screen, "She loves poetry too. No guy would ever admit to loving poetry."

"Your master does." Bant mused.

Obi-Wan glared at her. "Wait, she wants me to quote poetry. Help me out here."

"Poetry?" Shara knelt, grabbed the keyboard and typed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: There once was a Jedi from Venus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Qui-Gon groaned. "Gods, it's the Venusian limerick."

Mace quipped, "Hey I like that one."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

Mace shot a look at him then asked, "So now what?"

"Type something femmy." He answered. "Or better yet..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: ::swoon::

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She swooned." Obi-Wan and Reeft traded high fives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: Oh Gltr, you're so masterful.

GltrNyt: I am a Jedi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Qui-Gon was clutching his sides then, laughing. "That was terrible."

"So now do we go in for the kill?" Mace chuckled?

"What do you have in mind? Has to be femmy."

"Trust me Qui-Gon. I know femmy."

Qui-Gon shuddered. "You wouldn't know femmy if it hit you with a stick."

"Oh yeah?" Mace drawled. "Watch this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: I'd like to suck you, you big hulking animal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reeft's jaw dropped open. "Gimme the keyboard."

Obi-Wan shoved him aside. "Oh no you don't"

Bant grabbed it from the two of them. "I'll handle this..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: Designate is male humanoid. Please define what species of animal you wished to suck and how you would propose to accomplish said task.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Huh?"

"Well what did you expect Mace? A girl never puts out on the first date. It makes her seem cheap."

Mace stared at him speechless.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Move." Taking the keyboard...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NytsGrrl: YOU! I want to suck you, you big hulking stud muffin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We HAVE to meet this woman Obi!" Reeft demanded.

Bant shook her head. "It's a guy, I'm telling you. A guy." She turned to Shara, who sat at another terminal. Ignoring the guys, she walked over. "What's up?"

Shara typed in a few codes. "Just curious..." She waited for the screen to clear. "Tracking... oh..." She looked at Bant and whispered, "Is this when we tell them the 'woman' is using Master Windu's account?"

"Master Windu?" Bant giggled. "No, let them dream."

Bant stretched her arms and yawned exaggeratedly. "Guys, I'm out of here. Too much fun for me."

Shara took her cue and yawned too. "Me too. Sleepy time." She went to Obi-Wan and kissed his cheek. "Breakfast in the morning?"

Obi-Wan nodded absently. "Yeah whatever."

Shara raised an eyebrow, grabbed her cloak and followed Bant. "Goodnight boys." The two young women giggled as they left the lab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GltrNyt: We have to meet sometime.

NytsGrrl: Where and when?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rees Toth entered Mace's quarters carrying another pack of ales. "Are you two at it again?"

Qui-Gon kept typing, ignoring Rees. "Gods Mace, he wants to meet us."

Mace spewed his drink. "Yes, we have to set up a meeting place. I have to see this 'Jedi.'" They both started laughing hysterically.

Rees went to the computer and scrolled up the log. "I can't believe this is what you two do on your off time. We could at least rent a holo or catch a show." He got to the top of the log when something caught his eye. He took the keyboard and punched in a few codes. "Uh, Qui-Gon?"

Qui-Gon, still chuckling. "What is it now?"

"Did you know this person is using your secondary account?"

"Secondary..." Qui-Gon went to the monitor, immediately serious. "Obi-Wan..."

"You've been chatting with your own padawan?"

Mace laughed loudly then, falling out of his chair. Rees eyed Mace then. "Come on Mace, I've known for years you've wanted to screw his…"

"Rees!" Mace yelled, cutting him off. Qui-Gon stared at Rees then to Mace.

Rees smiled then finished his drink quickly. "I think I'll call it a night."

In the hallway Rees passed his padawan and her friend. They bowed politely, still giggling quietly.

"Where are you two off to this late?" he asked.

"Just leaving the datalabs, master. We got hungry. Reeft and Obi-Wan are still at work." Bant started to cough suspiciously, while Shara fought to restrain a smile. "I though you were going out with Master Windu and Master Jinn?"

Rees let a ghost of a smile curl on his lips. "I found myself getting hungry too." He gestured in front of him. "Shall we?"

Rees escorted the ladies to the dining hall, glancing briefly at the two Jedi masters near-running in the direction of the datalabs. He looked at the two padawans and after a moment of quiet understanding, burst into laughter that echoed down the temple halls.




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