Backseat Driver


By Maddy


To explain this random bit of silliness...

This little scene popped into my head several weeks ago thanks to a discussion on a Star Wars mailing list regarding The Look Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchange in the bongo when the vessel loses power. Qui-Gon appears to be thinking, "Hey, kid, you are the driver. You figure it out." The whole idea of the Jedi Master being a backseat driver unfurled in my head, and this is the result.

Yet lest anyone think I'm the only one who comes up with stuff like this, the recent Jedi Apprentice book (#4 in the series) contained a preview for the next book, and it contained a frighteningly similar scene in which Qui-Gon chides Obi-Wan about his driving, and Obi-Wan gets a little flare of irritation in response.

* * *

Qui-Gon: "Mind the asteroids."

Obi-Wan: "Master, I've got my pilot's license. I know what I'm doing."

Qui-Gon: "Of course you do, young padawan. I merely thought you'd want to heed the advice of one who has flown many times before."

Obi-Wan: (petulantly) "I'm not a kid! I can handle this myself!"

Qui-Gon: "Just stay mindful of the view screen, or we're going to end up splattered on that comet over there. And slow down, for heaven's sake. We're not in that big a hurry. Do you have to go so fast?"

Obi-Wan: "My speed is well within safe parameters for a vessel of this type. It's not MY fault you pilot like an old lady. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me going through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops."

Qui-Gon: "Well, it ISN'T. Watch the view screen! Don't you see that shuttle over there?"

Obi-Wan: "It's light years away! Look, couldn't you go find something else to do other than sit there and tell me how to steer? I mean, make yourself useful and check the nav read-out. I need to know when to drop out of light speed."

Qui-Gon: (peering at nav screen) "Um...When the blue light intersects the green light?"

Obi-Wan: (rolling eyes) "Oh, you're a BIG help. And it's upside down, anyway. How'd you manage to do that?"

Qui-Gon: "Well, if you're going to be THAT way abou;t it, I won't help at all."

Obi-Wan: "Fine."

Qui-Gon: "Fine."

Obi-Wan: "Good."

Qui-Gon: "Good."

(lengthy pause)

Qui-Gon: "Have you seen my Slim Jims anywhere?"

Obi-Wan: (whistles innocently and concentrates very hard on the view screen.)




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