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Lyric #1

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The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real slim shady please stand up
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up
we're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like you're never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoppin her a__ worse than before they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture
ahhh!
It's the return of the...
awe wait
no way
you're kidding
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?
and Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead he's locked in my basement
feminist women love Eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady
"I'm sick of him"
"look at him"
"walkin around grabbin his 'you know what'"
"flippin the you know who"
"yeah but he's so cute though"
yeah I prolly gotta coupla screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedrooms
sometimes I wanna get on tv and just let loose but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your lips
my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's cli____ is
of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit fourth grade they got the
discovery channel don't they
we ain't nothin but mammals
well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like animals
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then they'res no reason that a man and another man can't elope
but if you feel like I feel
I got the antidote
women wet your panty hose
sing the chorus
and it goes

I'm slim shady
Yes I'm the real shady
all you other slim shady's are just imitating
so won't the real slim shady please stand up
please stand up
please stand up (X2)

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fu__ him, and fu__ you too
you think I give a da__ about a Grammy?
half of you critics can't even stomach me
let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win? wouldn't it be weird?"
why, so you guys can just lie to get me here?
so you can
sit me here
next to Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave h__d to first
little bit_ put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah I think he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I said download to audio on mp3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me
who just don't give a fu__ like me
who dress like me
who walk talk and act like me
it might just might be the next best thing
but not quite me

CHORUS

I'm like a head trip to listen too
cuz I'm only givin you things
you joke about with your friends inside your living room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
and I don't gotta be false to sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it
I just sh__ it better than 90% of you rappers out there
then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valumes
it's funny
cuz at the rate I'm going
when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
pinching nurses a__es when I'm jackin off with Jergens
and I'm jerking
but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin
and every single person is a slim shady lurking
I could be working at Burger King
spitin on your onion rings
or in the parking lot circlin
screamin "I don't give a fu__"
with his windows down and his system up
so would the real shady please stand up
and put one of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind
and outta control
and one more time as loud you can
how does it go?

CHORUS x2

hah
guess there's a slim shady in all of us
fu__ it
let's all stand up

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