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Kelsey Grammar Vs. Roseanne |
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The battle of the snob versus the blob! After Rosanne pulls off a few fat-attacks, Kelsey pulls off a pirouette and smacks into Rosanne, sending her flying like a pinball. They show off moves they learned from one place or another, which results in Grammer being thrown out of the ring. Rosanne pins him and refuses to get off until he admits "he plays a pretentious piece of psycho-crap". Mills gets impatient and sets a clock for five minutes. If he doesn't get out of that pin, he'll be disqualified. After the Brandy-Love fight, the alarm goes off, and Mills gives Kelsey five more seconds. At the count of five, Kelsey literally jumps out of his skin. This scares Rosanne so much she has a heart attack and dies.
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Brandy Vs. Courtney Love |
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Courtney Love is pissed off that Brandy got the title role in "Cinderella" so where else to settle it but Celebrity Deathmatch? Brandy is of course a good little girl and has no idea what's going on. Love mops the floor with Brandy then tosses her into the ring corner. Brandy complements Courtney on her dress, so she is wrapped around with it while her head is jammed into the ground. Brandy frees herself and spits out a few teeth. Despite this, she still gives Courtney a present. It's a wild baby bear! Although it seems the girls were about to make up, Momma Bear comes in and rips Courtney to shreds.
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Jackie Chan Vs. Jean-Claude VanDamme |
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Chuck Norris is our guest ref, but Jean-Claude gets confused and kicks Chuck in half. Jackie Chan starts off with a punch to the jaw, which fails because of Jean-Claude's dense head. Going to Plan B, Jackie appears as a blur that tramples Damme, but Celebrity Deathmatch Slow-Mo reveals Jackie really quickly ran to his limo, grabbed a tire iron and smacked Damme over the head with it. But Jean-Claude counters with a "Belgian Helicopter" which Jackie stops. Chan walks over to Norris's top half and starts to beat his opponent senseless with it. They start to fight over it and Jackie rips Chuck's arms off. He sees this as an advantage and warns Van Damme. "Die gonna you, Jackie!" is all he says. Jackie moves toward him and starts to slap him with the arms. In the process this cuts Jean-Claude's head right off, which a little boy catches and has Chan sign.
