Just Abby
song by: Tim McGraw.
It blocked the wind-it stopped the rain / She'd never leave that one So, she can't be really gone Justin walked into the bathroom. His bathroom, her bathroom, their bathroom. As he looked around, he saw the make-up table, which held various things, some of which he had never seen before until he met Abby. God, Abby. The love of his life, the woman who held all his dreams in her heart and swept away all his fears at the blink of an eye. She was amazing. Anyway, back to table. It held all sorts of make-up. Most of it hers. Some of it his. He smiled at the thought of their first make-up secession. They stayed up late one night, the first night of her first time on tour with him. And put make-up on each other and dressed the other in his and hers clothing. It was a sight to see. Definably, one of those "had to be there" moments. The table also held hair products like a portable hair dryer (because she didn‘t like carrying around those big ones), a curling iron, and all sorts of gismos. He could clearly see her sitting right there, her hair damp from her morning shower. She would be getting ready to "face the world" as she called it. First she’d put on base and light powder with a touch of blush. Next, she would move on to her lips. Those lips he’d kissed so many times. For flavor, she’d add Strawberry lip gloss, her favorite. After that, she would move up to her eyes. His favorite part of her was her eyes. They were magical and so pretty. She’d put silver with a tint of baby blue to bring out the color; they were crystal blue. Then she would take her hair down from the towel it had been wrapped up in. She’d fan it out, so long and pretty. He loved to smell her hair. It always smelled so good. Then she’d get the portable hair dryer and dry it. She never put hair spray or and gel in it. She loved going natural with her hair. He loved it. The shoes she bought on Christmas Eve / She laughed and said they called her names It's like they're waiting in the hall / For her slip them on So, she can't be really gone Justin moved to the closet. It was huge walk-in which served it’s purpose well. It housed all their belongs, that fit their bodies at least. Abby had put in a closet organizer so they would be able to tell the different between their clothes. Just looking at the thing made Justin remember the night they put it together. She was one of those women who tinkered with things. Justin liked to read the instructions. But by the time he’d finished reading them, she’d already figured out how to put it together and was actually finished with it. God, he loved her. I don't when she'll come back / She must intend to come back And I've seen the error of my ways / Don't waste the tears on me What more proof to you need / Just look around the room So much of her remains Coming out of the closet, Justin saw the bed. He sighed, almost close to tears. They’d bought the bed together, the mattresses together, and even the sheets, blankets, and pillows together. He walked over the bed and picked up a throw pillow; he smelled it. Abby’s scent was strong as if the night before she had slept on it. Justin sat on the bed, on the verge of tears, but held them in. He then noticed something that wasn’t supposed to be there. It didn’t belong in their room; "it didn’t match the decor" Abby would say. It was the IV stand. Her book is lying on the bed / The two of hearts to mark her page Now, who could ever walk away / At chapter twenty-one So, she can't be really gone Justin got up off the bed and walked to the door. He turned to look at the bed once more. Just as he was about to leave he room, he saw something. Someone. It was Abby. She was sitting on the bed, comfortable, reading a romance novel. "I’m going to the store," He would said. "Would you like anything?" "No, only you," Her smile would make the dem room all of sudden much brighter. And he would walk over to the bed and kiss her forehead. She’d close her eyes and breathe in his scent. She loved his cologne. That was the way it was, just about every morning. But some mornings Abby would be too sick from the chemo to even reach for that book she couldn’t put down. Some mornings Justin couldn’t even step out of the shower before Abby would throw up. And in the end, he would stay in bed and hold her in his arms. He wouldn’t and couldn’t let go. Not yet. Just look around this room / So much of her remains Justin slowly closed the door before the images of Abby on the night she let go, came back. He wasn’t ready to face the reality of that. That she was gone. And would never come back. She would never see her 25th birthday, she would never see him win another Grammy, she’d never see him again. He’d never see her; in the stands of a football game where he would sing the National Anthem, in the crowd of fans on TRL where he would perform his group’s latest hit, or in the audience of an award show where if he won, he would accept it and make a fool of himself by choking up during thanking her from the bottom of his heart. Her book is lying on the bed / The two of hearts to mark her page Now, who could ever walk away / At chapter twenty-one So, she can't be really gone Justin walked into the living room where they waited for him. They, his fellow band mates, his best friends. They loved her just as much or more than he did. No, no one could love Abby as much as he did. No one except the one person, who will never get to meet her. The one person, who was an infant when she died. The one person, she’ll never see; take his first step, start his first day of school, graduate from high school, get married, and have kids of his own. That one person, was Elijah. Her son. His son. Their son. As Chris handed Justin his son, something flashed a bright light that caused them to both turn and look at the top of the stairs. Some would say that it was the sun reflecting off of the wall or the window. But Justin knew better. Because he knew there were no windows nor lights in the hall, at the top of the stairs and there wouldn’t be. Because Abby hadn’t found the right light fixture she liked best enough to put at the top of the stairs. This caused Justin to smile. Maybe she wasn’t really gone after all. No, she can't be really gone |