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Institutionalized Part 2

"I should know. After all, I *am* Shinigami!" Now why did I go and say that? I could feel myself slipping back into my other self. I get a bit weird when I start talking about being the God of Death. I hope like hell I don't have scizophrenia or something.

"Shinigami? You..."

"You two hurry up and get dressed. It's time for group." I turned to see a fat, balding man. The collar of his shirt was tight around his neck, pushing up rolls of fat into his face and making his cheeks puff out to an unimaginable plumpness. He looked like a shar pei, poor man.

"Group?"

"Bullshit. We sit in a group and talk about our feelings." Heero stuck his head back under the shower spray and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.

"Feelings? This sucks!" I started laughing again. He was looking at me like I was crazy again. Not that he had any reason to think otherwise, ne?

"Hn."



After we'd finished drying and dressing, I followed Heero down the hallway to a large, open area. The different patients had set the large, wooden chairs with plastic pink cushions into a big circle and were sitting and talking amongst themselves while the balding shar pei was lecturing something about self-esteem.

"Well, now that everyone's here, we can begin." The general clamour of the group calmed down and the shar pei gestured with a plump hand at two open chairs across from him in the circle. "Have a seat."

I plopped down in a chair and tucked my legs underneath me, leaning in towards the open chair that Heero glared at for a moment, then occupied. He looked pissed, and crossed his arms over his chest, giving shar pei a 'Heero Yuy Death Glare.' He does that a lot.

Shar pei didn't seem to notice. "For anyone new, my name is Doctor James. I think we should all, you know, just go around the circle and tell everyone our names, and why we're here." This man was far too expressive with his hands, gesturing wildly to add emphasis to the slightest phrase. "Let's start to my left." He gestured to a skinny, frizzy red haired girl with an enormous amount of freckles.

The girl mumbled something and began wringing her hands. "...suicide attempt..." That was all I was going to hear from her. A few more patients took their turns whining about their problems. I only paid attention to a few. The other times, I was either zoning out or watching Heero out of the corner of my eye. He never moved.

My attention was caught by a slight, innocent-looking blonde boy. He was curled in his huge chair and his large blue eyes were nervously scanning everyone's face. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Not that I've ever seen one. It's just an expression. He cleared his throat nervously. "My name is Quatre Raberba Winner." His voice was weak and nervous; nothing like Heero's. He started twisting his cream colored silk handkerchief in his hands. "I'm here because when my father died, my sister's got worried about me. They fear I may have depression."

"And do you believe you have depression, Quatre?" Shar pei gestured at the group in general. "Please tell us how you feel."

"I suppose it is possible. I haven't been myself lately. I just want help to get over my father's passing."

"Well, it's good to remember you have sisters who care. How many sisters?"

"Ummm...twenty-nine, actually." Quatre lowered his eyes. Geez. How did someone *get* so many sisters? "And I am very happy that some of them care so much about me." He perked up and a sparkle came to his eyes. This guy was just too sweet for words. And too sweet for my taste. I don't like people like that. They get annoying sometimes, so I ignored him for a moment, and worried myself with the guy next to him. He was tall and lanky, with a set of bangs I'd never seen anything like in my life. It was like they defied the laws of gravity, sticking out like that. I'm serious. They stuck out almost horizontally from his head, obscuring one eye. I wondered how he could watch TV with them. Maybe he only saw half the screen. He was funny to look at, but there was something in those eyes. Something that told me not to make fun of him, lest I want to attend my own funeral. Yipes... He refused to talk at first, mindlessly staring off into space. Shar pei continued to calmly ask his name.

"Nanashi. No name." No name? Alright. That's fine. I can deal with that. Just so long as he's happy and not coming after me to rip my head off and shove it down my neck. I'll *gladly* call him Nanashi. I grinned at him. He didn't notice.

"It says here your name is Trowa Barton. Is that your name?" Trowa Barton? Alright. Maybe I'll call him Trowa. It's a nice name. I can't imagine why he'd disown it.

"Alright." He cast a glance at the blonde next to him, who was staring back with eager, wide eyes and smiling. I quirked an eyebrow. Like *that* wasn't obvious. I can see it in your eyes, Quatre. I smiled and rest my face in my hand. It was cute, almost.

For a moment, I didn't notice Heero glaring at me. I finally felt his eyes burning a hole in my head and turned to face him. He looked pissed. Apparently, I'd rested my elbow on his hand. I slowly removed it and gave him an apologetic smile.

"Hn." He grunted and glared at me.

"So, what do you think of these guys so far? Pretty weird, ne?" No response. He just stared at me. "Not like us, ne? We don't have problems." I snickered a little. I could tell he was repressing a smirk. I could see it in his eyes, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

I turned my line of sight from Heero's intense eyes to another guy across the circle from me. He was glaring at everyone like he wanted to blow up the place. He had black hair tied back in an amazingly tight ponytail at the nape of his neck and black, slanted eyes. He stopped glaring at everyone else and began glaring at me. I raised my eyebrows at him. "That guy's staring at me." I nudged Heero.

"Maybe he likes you." Heero raised an eyebrow at me. My eyes got huge and I busted out laughing. Heero didn't laugh. Neither did anyone else.

"Is there a problem over there?" Shar pei was looking curiously at me. Everyone else was staring at me like I was crazy. Great. I'm in a mental institute and now I'm busting out laughing and making everyone believe I've totally lost it. This is not what I needed right now.

I controlled my laughter with a hand and waved a dismissive gesture at Shar pei. "Everything's fine. I was just...remembering something funny." I grinned widely. He didn't seem convinced, popping up that eyebrow like that, but he accepted my lame excuse.

"If you can't get under control, you can go sit in quiet time." Quiet time? I started laughing again. Heero shifted in his seat. I could tell my laughter was contagious. Quatre was giggling and nudging Trowa. The black haired boy was still glaring at me, but he smirked a little. "Okay, go sit in quiet time."

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop laughing, and that dumbass wouldn't quit trying to make me laugh. I couldn't walk, I was laughing so hard. I looked over and Heero was covering his mouth with his hand, muffling his laughter as well. That made me laugh even harder, seeing him like that. He looked like he'd burst if he didn't take a breath. Quatre was wailing with laughter. A few others were snickering as well, but I was the only one rolling around on the floor like a dog. "Mary, could we get someone in here to take him to seclusion?" Seclusion? Holy shit!

I got up and immediately wiped the smile off my face. I couldn't be put in seclusion. I can't stand being alone, much less in a tiny little padded room. I started looking around for somewhere to escape to, not that I thought I'd find anywhere to go. Two big, burly men were walking towards me. I started breathing faster, and I could feel my face begin to sweat.

"Daijouba ka, Duo?" Heero grabbed my arm and I stared at him like he was a ghost. He actually looked worried. I shook my head and whipped around when I felt a large hand on my shoulder. One of those gorilla men was hovering over me.

"Come on, you." The other gorilla grabbed my shoulder. I freaked and started screaming like mad. "Calm down, dammit." I tried my best to fight them off. I broke loose of the tight grip on my shoulder and punched the other guy with my free hand. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose.

Some pink lights on the ceiling started flashing and I heard an announcement being made. "Code Pink. Code Pink. South Wing." A few more guys came through the heavy door from the nurse's station and started running at me. I stood up on my chair and kicked the gorrilla with the already broken nose. He fell to the floor in a pained heap. I kicked the other gorilla a few times in the face, then jumped back down off my chair and kneed him in the groin, sending him into a pathetic ball of pain on the floor, writhing and wimpering.

The large room turned to complete havoc, with gorilla men chasing after me, me running around like crazy, and a few of the other patients screaming while some of them joined the fight. I fell to the floor when a large gorilla guy toppled on top of me and pinned my arms. I kicked as much as I could to try and stop the others from pinning my legs. The heavy weight was lifted from my body as Heero punched him square in the jaw and pulled me from the floor by my braid.

"You certainly have started something, here." Heero gave a light tug on the braid still in his hand. We looked around the room. Most of the gorilla guys were shuffling the wild patients back into their rooms while the others were fighting off attacks from the patients. I saw Trowa pick up a chair and hurl it at one of the men who was going after Quatre who was hiding under a table. How he'd picked up that damned heavy chair like that was beyond me. The black haired chinese boy was kicking some ass, karate style. He did a roundhouse kick and knocked down two guys. It was cool.

"I didn't mean to! I just don't want to be put in seclusion!" I screamed as another gorilla man jumped me from behind and pinned me again. Heero's arms got grabbed from behind before he could help me. I saw him fight off two of them, but they quickly had him pinned on the floor, too, right in front of my face. We stared at each other for a moment. I bet I looked pathetic. I was nearly crying from fear, but boys don't cry, so I screamed through my clenched teeth. I felt something stick me in my hip and after a few seconds, my body went limp. I tried to move and kick and scream as they picked me up by my arms and legs and carried me into a tiny cell, but my body wouldn't listen to me. I caught a last glimpse of Heero before they got me in the room. He was being given an injection as well. He had five guys on top of him, but he was still able to move and punch and kick. The woman with the needle had a time trying to get him to hold still long enough to jab him with it.

When they got me in the room, they laid me on a small, white sheeted bed and put restraints on my arms. Then they put a thick, leather belt around my waist and some restraints on my ankles. I could easily get out of these pathetic straps, if my body wasn't temporarily immobile. I could barely move my face. Whatever they'd given me, it'd worked. And fast.

Damn. Now I was alone, and strapped down, and the room seemed to be getting smaller by the millisecond. I felt the walls caving in on me. I tried to calm myself down. Last thing I needed now was to hyperventilate and pass out. 'Come on, Duo. Everything's fine. Just stay calm, and you'll get out of this eventually.' Yeah right... I'd probably be in here forever, having broken so many people's noses like that. They'd be pissed at me for awhile.

I looked at the ceiling. There was a type of skylight over my face and an extremely bright light on over my stomach. That was it. The ceiling was plain white, as were the walls and probably the floor as well. No designs, no patterns. Just plain, smooth, still white. It was way too bright for me, so I closed my eyes. It was hot in there, and I started sweating a little. I took a deep breath and tried my best to stay calm, which was very hard for me. It took all my strength not to start screaming like mad and biting off my own arms and legs to get them free. That is, if I could move.

Speaking of which...I tried to move my fingers. No dice. One finger twitched a little, but that's it. I wasn't happy. All I could do was close my eyes. I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I opened my eyes again, the skylight above my head was dark. It must be nighttime outside.

The door in my tiny cell room opened and yellow light cascaded across my face and the bed. The door was above my head where I was laying, so I had no clue who was coming in my cell. I hoped like hell they weren't going to give me some more of that shit they'd pumped into me earlier. "Duo, are you ready to be released yet?"

That voice sounded familiar. I'd guessed it was the doctor I'd talked to earlier. The female one. "Doctor...?"

"Sheryl Taylor. Do you remember me from earlier?" She walked over and stood above me, where I could see her. Yeah, I remembered her. Who could forget those ridiculous glasses?

"Yeah. And, yes, I'd *really* like to get out of this damned room. I hate being alone, and I think I'm a little claustrophobic. And the light in here is too bright. And the walls are all really bright white and I don't like white very much." Yeah, I was talking alot, but I hadn't takled much in a while and I needed to get it out of my system.

"Okay, I think we can at least get those straps off of you now, if you'll promise not to hurt anyone else."

Promise? That's all I had to do. Great. "I promise. I won't hurt anyone." I gave her my 'genuine' smile. She smiled back and started undoing my restraints.

When I was released, I sat up and rubbed my wrists. They were a little red. Those sons of bitches strapped me in too tight. Jerks. "Now, Duo. I'd like to talk to you now about why you're here."

I sighed. I didn't really feel like talking to her about it, but this woman was obviously very persistent, so I may as well give in, ne? "Whatever. I'm here because I tried to kill myself. I got caught. I got sent here. Is that good enough?"

"Yes, but why did you try to kill yourself?"

"I wanted to see what would happen."

"Do you ever feel depressed?"

"No. I'm perfectly happy with my life."

"Even though you have no parents and live in an orphanage?"

"Father Maxwell and Sister Helen are my parents. I'm happy with them."

"Are you sure?" Damn, this woman was getting on my nerves.

"Positive."

"Do you ever have trouble getting up in the morning? Sleeping? Doing everyday tasks? Eating? Feel like you're worthless? Feel hopeless?"

"No." I quirked an eyebrow at her. How many damn questions did she have to ask me? It was getting really annoying. I didn't think she'd ever figure out that I wasn't depressed. She seemed stuck on that idea. Maybe I was, but I wasn't about to tell her that. It was my business, and no one else's.

She sighed. "Okay, Duo. I'm going to put you on some antidepressants. Your diagnosis is depression and unhealthy obsession with death." I couldn't help but smirk at that one. Unhealthy obsession with death? I *was* death! How could I be obsessed with myself? She looked at me like I was showing some sign that she was right. What a know-it-all bitch. How annoying. And she really *was* stuck on the idea of depression. I guess they automatically assume that you're depressed if you're pathetic enough to end up in a place like this.

"You can go back to your room now." She waved a hand at me to follow her. The entire area on the way to my room was darkened, with only a few dim lights shining and a nurse sitting in front of the television in the meeting area. None of the other patients were up and all the doors were closed.

"What time is it?" They didn't have any clocks around. Must be hard for those people who are time-oriented. Maybe they wanted to drive you insane in this place.

"Nine-fourty. Lights out is at nine-thirty."

We stopped in front of my door and she searched around for the key to unlock it. Some men were in the meeting area rearranging the chairs and cleaning up some messes. "That's not how we set the chairs! You have to put them...Duo, wait here a minute." She stomped off to show the men the correct way to set up the chairs and I pressed my back against the wall and slid down to the floor. I wanted to go back to sleep. My stomach made a gruesome sound at me. I hadn't eaten much at all today. I guess it made me sort of weak. The door across the hall opened slowly and the black haired chinese boy stuck his head out. He glared at me for a moment then opened the door fully and propped himself up against the frame.

"Hey! I'm Duo. Duo Maxwell." Always the cheerful one. I had a feeling that if I didn't say something, we'd be sitting there staring at each other for a long while. "I saw you earlier today, when the fight was going on. You really kicked some ass. What's your name?"

He stared at me a moment like he was hoping I'd disappear. "Wufei. Why are you in here?"

"Eh..." I waved a dismissive hand at him. "They say I'm depressed. And some sort of an obsession with death."

"They say everyone's depressed. That's the immediate diagnosis. It doesn't matter why you're here, you've got to be depressed. I'm depressed too." Well, he certainly was talking now. Getting up on his soapbox about depression. "There is no justice here. They immediately dope you up with as many pills as they can. They drug us out so that we can never leave here. No justice." He shook his head.

"Why would they do that? I mean, why do they want to keep us here longer than we need?" This really didn't make much sense to me, because I thought the whole point of places like this was to get you better. Not that I had any problems.

"This place is funded by the government. The more patients they have, the more money they get. It's as simple as that. Money." He shook his head again. I started to wonder why I didn't just break out of here, or something. This place sucked. I doubted the security was all that good, anyway.

"Lights out was fifteen minutes ago, Wufei. Close your door." Wufei glared at her for a moment, then yawned, shrugged, and closed his door. "Now, Duo, let's get you to bed." She shifted up next to me and opened my door with her key.

My room was empty. I'd expected Heero to be asleep in his bed. Or at least in the room, but it was empty. I was sort of disappointed. "Where's Heero? I mean, my roommate?"

"Heero's still in seclusion. He's been very uncooperative."

"Uncooperative?"

"It's really none of your business, now is it? You have pants and a shirt to sleep in. You can put your dirty clothes in the bin outside your door and they'll be washed tonight."

"Okay." She closed the door behind her, leaving me standing in a dark, cold, and very empty room. I was lonely. I walked over to my bed under the window and sat down in the lamplight shining in from outside. It cast a yellow light on my blue bedspread. There was a pair of flannel pants and a dark green tee shirt folded on my pillow. I removed my black clothing and put on the nightclothes. The pants made my legs itch and the shirt smelled funny. I took the pants off and decided to sleep in just the shirt. I didn't think anyone would mind; No one was here. Heero would probably be in seclusion all night if they hadn't let him out yet.

I opened the door and tossed my clothes in the tiny plastic bin to my left. Wufei opened his door as I was closing mine, and I waved at him. He acknowledged my greeting with a jerk of his head and left down the hallway. Probably getting some water, or something. Hey, I made another friend. Happy day. I shrugged and turned around.

Back in the room, I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. I wasn't very tired, not that I could sleep on this damned hard mattress anyway. It was like curling up on a pile of sharp rocks. There was too much light shining in my eyes, too. The streetlight was very bright, and very close to my window. If you could call it a window. There was a tiny-holed metal screen over a set of nearly shut blinds, over a window, most likely made of plastic. Of course, the blinds were turned on a downward slant so that *all* the light shined directly in my eyes.

I rolled over in bed and shut my eyes tight, trying to slow my brain down so I could get some sleep. I was just drifting off when the room's door opened and a slim figure stepped in.

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