Disclaimer:

I do not own Weißß Kreuz or any of its characters. I just love them to no end and have a very twisted imagination. Please be aware that I am extremely poor so suing me will do you no good. Thanks.

Warning: Lemon Yaoi - Hints of Yuri / Hardcore Violence & Rape / Explicit Language / Angst / AU

Pairings: Ran x Yohji / Ken + Omi / Birman + Manx

FYI: Inner thoughts - [ Flashback ]

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! Here's Circle of Time's long awaited Chapter 7! Sorry that it took me so long to update CoT but I hope that this 'longer than the norm' chapter was worth the wait. It's full of my usual dose of angst, plus it will reveal more of Yohji's past to us. My poor Yotan. I'm so abusive. *grins wickedly* Also, as another added treat, we have our first Ran and Yohji lemon!!! *jumps up and down in perverted excitement* Yeah, they're both underage but what the hell. Teenagers are teenagers and if you even believe that teenage sex doesn't exist, then you really shouldn't be reading this. I'm as realistic as they come and my writing will almost always reflect my thoughts and views on life in all its shitty glory. So again I stress, if you're offended by the portrayal of two lusty teenagers (male at that) getting it on, then turn away now. Like I said before, you shouldn't be here. But for my wonderful fans and newcomers alike who enjoy such wicked play, by all means scroll down and enjoy! Lemony love awaits you. ^_^

Thanks to all,

Forsaken

Circle of Time

"Hey Ken," Yohji called out, "Mrs. Tsumori is waiting for her order." Yohji looked at the short heavy-set woman standing in front of him warily. The woman was infamous for getting on ones nerves if not 'properly' attended to.

"I'll be done in 'two' minutes," replied Ken from within the back room.

Ah shit, she's gonna blow, Yohji thought miserably as the older woman glared at him. He smiled and prayed for mercy, knowing somberly that he wasn't going to get any. "The order will be out shortly, Mrs. Tsumori."

The pudgy woman glared at him and crossed her stubby arms over her large chest."I don't have all day, young man. This was why I called in the order to begin with."

Man, get over it lady. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am. I'm sure that it won't be long."Come on, Ken, you slow ass bastard. Jesus Christ. He hated kissing ass.

"Honestly, with service such as this I'm amazed you've stayed in business this long."

Yohji gritted his teeth as he tried to keep his face void of the anger now flaring to life within him.Keep your mouth shut, Kudou. Last time you blasted a customer, you got clean-up duty for a month. Just calm down and ...

"Goodness," the overbearing woman said, her gaze roaming around the room. "This is utterly ridiculous. Just what you get when you hire teenagers that have no idea as to what they're doing. "

That does it. Yohji was about to give the old fart a piece of his mind when a hand fell upon his shoulder.

"Mrs. Tsumori, why don't you come with me while you're waiting. I have those lilies you were inquiring about last week," Ran stated as he came to stand next to Yohji behind the counter.

"Oh, really?" the woman replied, her interest already elsewhere. "How wonderful. Lead the way, young man."

Yohji shot Ran a grateful look, his eyes silently thanking the redhead for the save. Ran rolled his eyes before he turned away, leading Mrs. Tsumori over to the refrigeration units but Yohji had clearly seen the small grin tugging at his boyfriend's lips.

Yohji smiled as he turned back toward the register. Boyfriend. Yohji still got giddy whenever he thought of Ran that way. Sometimes it was just downright unbelievable how things between him and the once stoic redhead had changed.

Ever since that night almost three weeks ago when he and Ran had revealed the unsavory facets of their pasts to one another, when they had shared that first perfect kiss, the bond that had been slowly forming between them had solidified. They were no longer two lost souls wandering endlessly in a maze full of pain and despair. No. They had each other now. The official ruling of their relationship hadn't yet been voiced but Yohji considered Ran to be his boyfriend just the same and vice-versa. Yohji frowned suddenly as he wiped the counter with a small striped rag.

He had to admit, however, that Ran's reluctance to take that final step was beginning to bother him a bit. Ran refused to openly display any affection in front of other people, even Ken and Omi. At first, Yohji hadn't protested, understanding that Ran still had a lot of issues to deal with when it came down to trusting others. But now, Yohji was having second thoughts about the whole thing. Dammit, I want to be able to hold him, to kiss him. I don't give a shit about who sees us.

Yohji sighed, his eyes narrowing as he scrubbed the counter even harder. Was he being selfish in wanting more from Ran? The last thing he wanted was to pressure Ran into something he wasn't ready for. It had taken them a long time to get to where they were now. Was he willing to risk that for a bit of public recognition? God, my life's a fucking soap opera. And I'm not even legal yet.

Yohji shook his head. The bell above the entrance door rang and his gaze quickly shifted in the direction of the glass door. Smiling, he prepared to greet the five young women entering the shop when something suddenly caught his eye from behind them. Yohji frowned, leaning forward a bit as he focused his eyes on a lone figure standing across the street. Who the ...

He couldn't really see the guy. A long black trench coat covered the man's body and a hat and a pair of dark sunglasses prevented him from seeing more detail of the person's face or hair color. He didn't doubt that the person was a man; the obvious physique beneath the dark leather unmistakable. Why's he just standing there? He's freaking me out.

Yohji wanted to move away, to hide from the man's view, but he found himself unable to. There was something familiar about ... Fear suddenly washed over Yohji, nearly overwhelming him and it took all of his power not to cower away from the open doorway. Nauseating terror began to spread though him, quaking his insides, making Yohji take in a deep breath as his hand clenched around the cloth it held. Yohji couldn't understand the reaction, let alone explain why it was gripping him in its unyielding vise. All he could do was stand there, his back straight as a board, his eyes locked on the man still facing him as time moved slowly around him.

"Earth to Yohji."

What?

"Yo, Kudou. Is anyone there?"

A hand suddenly waved in front of him, effectively breaking the trance he'd been under. The shop's door swung shut as time once again resumed its course and Yohji blinked, turning his head to look at a very annoyed Ken.

"What?"

"I've been standing here for almost two minutes trying to get your attention," Ken replied as he motioned toward the large floral arrangement now on the counter. "It's done."

At Yohji's blank stare, Ken rolled his eyes before he walked away from him, calling out to Omi about something. Yohji took a deep breath and hesitantly looked back toward the door. Relief shot through him in an instant. He's gone.

Almost against his will, he moved away from the counter, his mind propelling him toward the glass door, ignoring the calls of the young ladies trying to get his attention. Yohji's eyes darted around, searching for the black garbed man but didn't see any sign of him. Yohji released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and ran a surprisingly shaky hand through his golden locks.

Shit, what's wrong with you, Kudou. What's the big fucking deal? It was just some guy looking into the shop. He wasn't doing anything so what the hell are you so edgy about? Yohji's hands fisted at his sides. Why was he trembling? Cause I'm fucking scared shitless. And he hated it. Hated feeling the tremors that were now running through his frame, sending shivers up his spine. He had sworn long ago to never allow himself to feel that way again and here he was shaking like a leaf, his heart pounding against his chest.

But why? Why had a stranger triggered such a response from him? It had been almost as if he'd recognized the man. Don't go there, Kudou, Yohji told himself. The last thing he needed was to start getting paranoid. It's just your damn imagination. Nothing more. Get over it already.

But what if it were true? he asked himself. What if his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him? Something in that man had evoked fear in him, something he hadn't felt since he had been a boy, scared and lost in a world that had held nothing but misery for him. What if …… Shit! Yohji hissed inwardly. What the hell are you doing? Stop thinking about that shit, goddammit. Stop it right now!

He didn't want to remember. Didn't want to relive his past again. Talking about his life, revealing his dark secrets to Ran had been awful enough. He'd had nightmares for a whole week afterwards. No. He wasn't going to do this to himself again. Yohji walked away from the door and focused his gaze on the arrangement Ken had placed next to the register. Just forget you saw the guy. He wasn't there, alright.

"Oh good, it's 'finally' ready."

Yohji looked up as Ran and Mrs. Tsumori approached him. Violet eyes locked onto his own and Yohji quickly shifted his gaze back to the register. The redhead had a knack for reading people and Yohji didn't want to take a chance in Ran sensing that something was bothering him. With his uncle giving him shit on a daily basis, Ran didn't need to be worrying about him on top of everything else. Yohji 'refused' to become another burden for Ran to carry.

He rang up the order, once again trying to keep his temper in check as the old windbag complained her heart away. Thankfully, Ran had stayed nearby or he would've lost it for sure. He was lucky that the redhead was able to somehow calm his temper. Lord knew that no one else could.

With Mrs. Tsumori gone, the shop was now empty of customers for the first time that evening. Yohji looked down to his watch and whistled. "Shit, guys. It's almost fifteen past eight. We should've 'been' closed."

"We don't close until the very last customer has left. You know that, Kudou," stated Ran from behind him, as he removed his apron from around his waist and walked over to turn the 'open' sign on the door to read 'closed'.

"Awe maaann," Ken whined. "It's already dark outside. It's gonna be bitch to ride my bike home. It's fucking cold out there."

Omi, who had been cleaning up the shop, walked up next to Ken and elbowed the dark haired teen right in the stomach.

"Ouch! Shit, Omi. That fucking hurt."

"Good, because you're being a stubborn jackass. I told you that I would be more than happy to give you a ride when you needed one."

Rubbing his side, Ken rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Not wanting to bother you doesn't make me into a jackass. I'm trying to be polite."

Omi opened his mouth, about to say something when Yohji began to chuckle, reminding the two teens that they weren't alone.

"What the hell are you laughing about?" Ken demanded, as he glared at the blonde.

Yohji shook his head and grinned. "You guys are fighting like an old married couple." The two boys blushed to the roots of their hair and Yohji laughed once again. "Oh, that's just precious. You should see yourselves."

The two teens had somehow become an item in the past couple of weeks, much to everyone's surprise. It wasn't anything heavy duty. Just the occasional holding hands, brief touches, the goofy smiles. Well, there was this one time last week when he'd caught the two of them necking out in the back. From that day on, Yohji had taken to teasing the two boys whenever he got the chance. Yohji's chest tightened all of a sudden. He was happy for them, but …… he was envious too.

"You should be the one to talk, Yohji," Ken stated, a grin of his own now curving his lips.

Yohji blinked. "What? What do you mean?" he asked, casting a dubious eye on Ran as the redhead came to stand near him.

Ken snickered. "Nothing, Yohji. Nothing at all." Ken looked at Omi and nudged his shoulder. Omi looked at him and smiled, as if the two were sharing a secret.

Yohji raised a winged eyebrow. Shit, do they know? Are we that damn obvious? He looked over at Ran and sighed inwardly. From the glare Ran was sending Omi and Ken's way, it was quite clear that the man was anything but pleased over the realization that their 'relationship' wasn't as undercover as they had thought.

"Are you four going to stand there all night?" Birman asked them as she walked into the room with Manx right behind her.

"Maybe they're offering to stay and give the shop a more extensive cleaning, Mika."

"No way!" Ken exclaimed, shaking his head as he stared at the two grinning slave drivers with panicked eyes.

"Yeah," Yohji added as he began to edge toward the door, pulling at Ran's coat sleeve as he did so. "Omi did an excellent job as it is. We wouldn't want him to feel unappreciated."

"Exactly," agreed Ken as he grabbed Omi's hand. "Come on, Omi. I need a ride home."

Omi shook his head, a smile curving his lips as he allowed himself to be led out of the shop. "Good night," he called out just before he disappeared outside with his brunette boyfriend.

"Yeah, good night. See ya tomorrow," Yohji said, as he and Ran rushed through the door as well.

Once outside, Yohji whistled as he caught sight of the shiny black limousine waiting by the curve. "Shit, Omi. Can I get a ride too?" Yohji grunted when Ran elbowed him in the ribs. "What? I was only kidding." He moved closer to the object of his desire and frowned when Ran took a step back.

"Not here, Kudou."

"Jesus, Ran. It's not like they haven't guessed already that we're together," Yohji whispered angrily, his temper once again flaring to life over Ran's attitude.

Ran glared at him but remained silent.

Yohji rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Hey, guys. I can give you a ride if you want one," Omi offered as he and Ken stood near the limousine's open passenger door.

"Nah, we'll walk," Yohji replied. "Thanks though."

"No problem," Omi replied. He turned to Ken who was making no move to enter the vehicle and looked at him with questioning eyes. "Ken, get in."

"Omi …… I don't know. This is a bit too much for me."

"Oh, come on Ken."

"Looks like there's trouble in paradise," Yohji snickered as he and Ran walked away from the two teens.

"Shut up, Yohji. It's none of your business."

Yohji sighed. "Yeah, yeah." But you are and we're going to have a little talk tonight. "Hey, you coming over tonight?"

Ran shook his head. "I have a lot of chores to do tonight. I'm going to be too tired."

"Ran ---- "

"No."

"Pleeease?" Yohji begged, grabbing the shorter man's arm imploringly. "I'll give you a massage. You know you always feel a lot better after I give you one."

Ran hesitated and Yohji smiled. The massages had become a regular habit during the course of the past three weeks. Ran would come over to his house exhausted from doing menial tasks for his uncle and Yohji would bend over backwards trying to relax the redhead so that they could enjoy their time together.

Ran gave him an exaggerated sigh. "Fine, I'll come over. 'But', only for an hour or so. I'm not staying up all night again. And no funny business," Ran added with knowing eyes, pointing a finger at the blonde.

Yeah riiigghht ... Yohji put a friendly arm around his beloved redhead and he raised his free hand to his forehead in a mock salute. "Yes, sir!"

Ran shook off his arm, but Yohji didn't really mind. Ran was coming over tonight and that's all he cared about at the moment. Already planning the night for the two of them, Yohji chattered away excitedly as Ran walked silently by his side, talking on occasion with a grin on his handsome face.

The two young men continued to walk toward their homes, focused only on themselves, not once noticing the dark two-door sedan behind them, following them at a slow pace.

"Are you going to sit there and sulk the entire way to my house?" demanded Ken, frustrated by the silent treatment Omi was giving him.

Blue eyes glared at him. "And why not?" Omi asked. "You're acting like a child. Why shouldn't I behave the same way?"

"I am not acting like a child," Ken denied angrily. Why couldn't Omi just understand that he felt uncomfortable in this damn limousine?

"Yes, you are," hissed Omi.

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Oh for the love of ---- Can't you understand how uncomfortable I'm feeling right now?" Ken went silent as Omi's eyes softened and he looked away, deciding it would be better to aim his gaze through the car window instead. Great. Now, I just embarrassed myself. Good going, Hidaka.

"Ken?"

Shit. Ken swallowed, wishing he could just disappear. "What?"

"Why are you feeling uncomfortable?" Omi asked him, his tone soft yet curious.

Ken sighed. He turned his head away from the window and faced the boy who had somehow captured his heart. Might as well get this out in the open. God, why can't I ever keep my mouth shut?

"Ken?"

"It's just that ..." he paused, not sure as to how to put his feelings to words. "This limo isn't me, you know? I'm not rich like you Omi. I'm just an ordinary guy who lives with his grandparents in a small house in the suburbs. And half of the time, I don't even feel like I belong there."

Ken looked at Omi with pleading eyes, wishing to somehow make Omi understand what he was trying to say. "I feel really out of place in this 'thing'." Over his lap, his hands clenched in anger and self-disgust. "I... I don't belong in here, Omi." With you, he continued silently.

Ken lowered his head, unable to say anything else without making a greater fool of himself. He didn't know what was worst. Feeling low-class or seeing the pity now surely whirling within Omi's beautiful blue eyes. Again, he wished he would just keep his big mouth shut. It was getting fucking irritating having to remove his foot from it all of the time. I'm such an idiot.

Gentle hands suddenly gripped his fisted ones and Ken looked up in surprise. His breath caught at the site of Omi's angelic face a mere inches away. He's so beautiful, he thought, as he gazed into those blue pools of warmth and kindness. How he could've missed before the special light they held only for him was beyond his guessing.

It still amazed him how Omi had initiated things between them. Ken could still remember the shock, the total surprise that had gone through him when Omi had kissed him for the first time in the park almost a month ago. At first, he hadn't been able to move let alone react, but when he had felt Omi beginning to pull away something inside of him had snapped free. He had kissed Omi back, pulling him close, desperate for more, leaving them both breathless and awed.

It was Omi who'd asked for the two of them to be together as something other than friends. And it had been Omi who had offered his friendship and his heart to a 'boy' who was not only still confused about his own sexuality, but whose fears of emotional intimacy where holding him back from sharing himself completely. What do you see in me, Omi? I'm such a fucking headache.

"Ken, I understand what you're saying more than you know," Omi told him, his face serious.

"You do?" he asked in surprise.

Omi smiled and nodded his head. "You see, I wasn't born as a Tsukiyono. I was adopted. And knowing that hasn't been easy for me mainly because I don't feel like I'm good enough most of the time. That's why I always trying to please my father. To do the right thing by him even if sometimes he doesn't deserve it. I mean, he adopted me, a nobody, and raised me as his own. He's given everything to me, Ken. And so, I owe him everything in return." Omi sighed. "But …… it's hard. I don't feel like I belong. Like I'm ever going to be able to live up to what's expected of me. So trust me okay? It's not so easy on my end either."

Ken swallowed as he looked into Omi's eyes, eyes that were dulled slightly by the pain such doubts obviously caused. He didn't know what to say. If he did, he wouldn't be having the same problem.

"But you know," Omi continued, "if I let myself get depressed over it all, I'd be totally fucked up." Omi grinned lopsidedly. "Then I wouldn't be the guy you like so much."

Ken smirked and lightly jabbed Omi in the stomach. "Shut up."

"I'm being serious," Omi replied with a smile. "And you have to do the same. Stop this 'I don't belong' crap. We're in the same damn boat. You're no different than me. Understand?"

Feeling a lot better, Ken nodded his head. "Yeah, I understand. I understand that our lives suck." But he didn't really mind so much anymore. He had Omi now and Omi had him. Maybe things would get better now that they had each other.

Omi giggled. "True. So very true." Omi reached out and brushed his fingers down Ken's cheek. "So, are we okay now?"

Ken's blue-green eyes darkened as that light caress sent shivers up his spine. He wasn't sure what he wanted anymore, his young body unsure as to what it was feeling. But as he nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against Omi's, Ken knew that he was willing to find out.

He moved away and opened his eyes, taking delight at the sight of Omi's blushing face. "Yeah, we're okay."

Definitely.

"Ran, what the hell are you doing?"

Ran looked over his shoulder at Yohji, raising an eyebrow at the question. "I think's it's fairly obvious."

Yohji walked up to him with a look of pure disgust on his face. "You're washing dishes?"

Standing in front of the sink, Ran shrugged as he continued to scrub the white dish in his hand. "And?"

Yohji looked at him incredulously and Ran fought hard not to laugh in his face.

"You come over here after doing tons of chores at 'your' house to wash dishes? Are you nuts?"

Ran rolled his eyes. Yohji really could exaggerate things when he wanted to. "I'm being polite," he replied. "You cooked us dinner and so I'm washing the dishes. Fair trade."

"Fair---- Put that dish down right now," Yohji commanded as he glared at Ran.

Placing a wet hand over his hip, Ran looked at the blonde with daring eyes and for some unfathomable reason decided to tease him a bit. "Make me."

Yohji suddenly blinked in surprise for a moment before a wicked grin curved his chiseled lips, making Ran question his own sanity for having instigated something he was probably going to regret.

"Okay, I think I will," was Yohji's retort just before he came up behind Ran and wrapped his arms around Ran's waist.

"Kudou, what the hell ---- " Ran's words cut off along with his air supply as Yohji's hands slipped under his t-shirt and began to caress the warm skin underneath. Oh, God.

In the past few weeks, the art of exploration had become a lesson he and Yohji had been all too eager to learn. Ran knew that their passionate kisses and touches would soon lead to something more, to something that would change their relationship forever and he had to admit that he was afraid of what would happen afterwards. Would things change between them? Would he be ready for it if it did? His mind was becoming dazed, however by the passion now rising within him and the questions that had gripped him momentarily suddenly vanished.

He moaned as Yohji's talented hands pinched his nipples, causing the pink nubs to harden beneath the navy material covering them. He let his head fall back onto Yohji's shoulder, letting go of the dish he'd been attempting to clean and gasped as Yohji's tongue slid along the column of his neck, his body becoming a throbbing mass of nerves. He could feel himself hardening, his jeans becoming painfully tight and Ran knew that the next step in their relationship would come soon if they didn't stop now.

"Yohji," he whispered, unable to catch his breath, as he tried to slow things down, attempting to see reason, "We have to st..." He moaned again, his words trailing away as Yohji began to grind his hips against him. God, that feels so good. Ran closed his eyes and licked his lips as his own body began to move to meet Yohji's thrusts.

His brain was malfunctioning, having lost all thought and comprehension. What the hell was I going to say? His befuddled brain was unable to respond however, as Yohji's hand moved past the waistband of his black jeans, reaching toward the evidence of his desire. Ran could do nothing but hang on to the edge of the sink, panting and shivering as an exquisite warmth wrapped itself around him. Mmm, don't care.

And he didn't. He really didn't care. His body was in control now, pushing aside his doubts and inhibitions; the pleasure spiraling through him just too much to hold back, too dominant a force to control. Ran couldn't stop it and he found himself not even wanting to try. He could care less right now if they were both moving into sex too soon in their relationship or that his virginity would soon be non-existent. His need for the pleasure to continue was overriding all logic, all thought and Ran was more than willing to let run its course.

"God, Ran," Yohji whispered into his ear, his voice husky and full of need. "I want you so much."

Ran moaned at the words and spoke without thinking, without fear or caution. For the first time in a long while, he spoke from his heart. "I want you, too. And ... I don't want to stop."

He heard Yohji's intake of breath just before the long arms that had been embracing him tightened around him.

"Are you sure?"

He was. Completely, entirely sure. "Yes."

Yohji released him slowly and moved away slightly, grasping his hand as he did so. They walked out of the kitchen and silently trekked across the living room to the stairs, looking deeply into each other eyes along the way.

Ran could feel his heart ramming again his chest and his stomach beginning to twist nervously, but not once did he move to stop what was about to happen. He wanted this. Aside from wanting to see his sister walk again, he had never wanted anything more.

Once in Yohji's bedroom, their mouths met in a frenzy of lust and need and Ran allowed himself to ride the powerful surge of passion now flooding his insides. He plunged his hands into Yohji's golden mane, tugging at the long, silky strands as he devoured his soon-to-be lover's mouth, savoring the taste of him.

Together, they moved toward the full-sized bed near the window and fell upon it, rolling around on its quilted surface in a tangle of trembling limbs. Clothes were discarded clumsily but quickly as he and Yohji used their hands and mouths to explore and entice the other.

Shyness or embarrassment held no power over him as he found himself in between Yohji's parted legs, moving his hips so that their erections were pressing against one another. He was following his instincts, letting his body dictate his actions, allowing his hunger for the man beneath him to run free, unobstructed by hesitation or worry. He wanted to become one with Yohji, to let his almost primal need for completion grab a hold of him, to guide him to the ultimate heights of pleasure.

Yohji's long legs suddenly wrapped around his naked waist and Ran's eyes snapped open, his mind clearing enough to comprehend the position he'd just taken. I'm ... on top. Surprised, Ran looked into Yohji's glittering eyes. "You want to be bottom?" he asked in bewilderment, unable to do otherwise.

He had to know whether this was what the blonde wanted. Yohji didn't seem like the 'bottom' type. Not only that, but due to Yohji's horrible past Ran had thought that Yohji would've preferred the more dominant role. What the hell are you thinking, Yohji?

Yohji nodded and smiled as he sat up slightly, leaning back onto his elbows. "Yeah, I want to be bottom."

"But why?" he asked, completely stunned. Didn't Yohji remember that he was a virgin? He wouldn't know what to do, let alone do it right. Shit.

Yohji looked away briefly and swallowed before he turned his gaze back onto him. Pain flickered in those beautiful jade orbs and Ran suddenly wished he would've just kept his big mouth shut.Dammit, talk about ruining the moment. If he could've kicked himself in the ass, he would have.

"I'm sorry," he blurted. "It's your choice. I should be----"

"Stop," Yohji interrupted him. "I want to tell you something but ..." Yohji paused, his brow furrowing.

"But what?" he asked encouragingly. Tell me, love. Please.

Yohji swallowed yet again and Ran noticed how Yohji's slender form was shaking. Cursing his stupidity for having interrupted what would've have been a special moment in their lives, Ran reached down for the sheets that had fallen in a disarray onto the floor and pulled the quilted material over their naked bodies. Yohji was on his back again and Ran was resting on his elbows on either side of Yohji shoulders as he waited for the blonde's answer.

"I'm afraid you'll think less of me. That you'll look at me and feel sick to your stomach. That you'll ... hate me."

The last words were a mere whisper. A whisper full of fear and anguish. Ran reached out with his hand and began to caress Yohji's blonde hair. "I would never hate you and there's nothing you could possibly that would ever change what I feel for you."

"I ... I raped someone, Ran," Yohji finally admitted, keeping his tortured eyes on Ran's chin, unable to meet the violet eyes now wide with shock. "I didn't want to do it but ... he had a gun pointed at my head! A gun! And I was scared, Ran. So fucking scared."

Yohji's voice broke on the last words, tugging at Ran's wrenching heart. He wanted to scream, to find Yohji's father for he knew somehow that it was him and kill him with his own hands. To make him pay for the abuse he had subjected his loved one to.

Tears were now tracking from Yohji's eyes as words continued to tumble out of his mouth uncontrollably. "Her name was Asuka. She was pretty and kind. She would talk to me for hours about stupid things. I didn't care though. It felt nice ... to have a friend. To have someone who cared." Yohji was staring up at the ceiling, his watery eyes sightless as he lost himself to his memories. "One day, my father caught wind of our friendship and he got pissed the hell off. He dragged me by my hair, down the hall and threw me into Asuka's room."

Yohji's body was shivering and Ran lowered himself onto Yohji's chest, trying to add more body heat to the trembling boy. Oh, God. He didn't know if he wanted to hear anymore. But as he felt his heart pounding against his chest, a heart that belonged to this tortured man before him, Ran knew that he had no choice but to listen. Yohji needed him and he would be damned if he failed him now.

"I saw her and I started to cry," Yohji continued, his voice wavering with tears. "She was tied to the bed. Her legs spread open. You could tell that my father had already beaten the shit out of her." Yohji took a deep shaky breath. "He shoved me on top of her, Ran. Right in between her legs. Telling me to stop crying like a bitch and act like a man."

Ran's eyes widened in dismay. No, please no.

"He put a gun to my head and told me to fuck her for the whore that she was. I didn't want to do it, Ran," Yohji said desperately, clutching at the arms now wrapped around him. "But I was terrified that he'd finally kill me and ... I raped her. I raped her until I came." Yohji looked into Ran's teary eyes. "She was smiling at me the whole time, Ran. I was fucking raping her and she was smiling up at me. She never screamed, never fought me. She just kept staring at me with a smile on her face."

Ran was crying now. He couldn't help it. His heart was breaking for the little boy Yohji had once been. For the little boy who had been forced to do an unspeakable act against someone he'd cared about. How could anyone have been so cruel? How could a parent betray their child that way? Ran just couldn't understand it. Why did you have to suffer so much, Yohji? Why? Fate was too cruel at times and Ran wondered what was the point in living a life that felt as if it were an eternal penance to a nameless sin.

"She disappeared after that," Yohji said, interrupting Ran's revere. "My father took her away and I never saw her again. The bastard didn't have to tell me that she was dead though. I knew what he was like. The things he'd done."

Yohji's hand tightened painfully over Ran's shoulder, but Ran refused to flinch or pull away. He kept still, moving only to place a gentle kiss over Yohji's forehead.

"It was my fault she died."

"No, Yohji," Ran protested, voicing his outrage for the first time. "That wasn't your fault."

Yohji shook his head, tears once again falling from his green eyes. "It was. If she hadn't been my friend, my father wouldn't have killed her. I knew better, dammit. I knew I wasn't supposed to form attachments. It was forbidden. But I didn't listen. I fucking didn't listen and----"

"Stop it!" Ran demanded, holding Yohji's face in between his hands. "Listen to me. Listen!"

Yohji stilled and closed his trembling mouth, looking deeply into Ran's angry violet eyes. Ran took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, as he tried to speak past the lump in his throat.

"What your father made you do was 'his' sin alone." Yohji tried to shake his head in protest but Ran kept him still as he continued to speak. "He made you do something you would've never done. You were only a boy, Yohji. A normal boy who had every right to be scared shitless. He had a gun to you, Yohji. Of course you were afraid."

"But Asuka----"

"Asuka didn't blame you either," Ran told him, his voice sure and determined to make Yohji understand. "She was smiling for a reason, Yohji. She was telling you that it was alright. That she didn't blame you for what your father was forcing you to do to her. It wasn't your fault. Understand? It wasn't your fault."

He could tell that Yohji wanted to believe him, was hoping that his words were true as he tenderly wiped the wetness from underneath Yohji's eyes.

"It doesn't matter," Yohji whispered. "She wasn't the first."

Ran couldn't say anything then. All he could do was stare into Yohji's hardened gaze.

"I raped other girls ... and boys. He used me to break them in, to give them a taste of what their life was going to be like as long as they worked for him." Yohji shifted his gaze away from Ran's stunned one. "There wasn't always a gun pointed to my head, Ran. After a while, he didn't need it. I gave up fighting him. I would just do as I was told." Yohji looked at him once again. "Can you honestly say now that it wasn't my fault? That I'm not to blame for raping a bunch of innocent kids?" Yohji paused. "That you still want to sleep with me?"

If Ran could've broken down at that moment, he would have. He would've have let go of the nearly strangling sobs that wanted to burst free from within him. How could Yohji have survived such an agonizing childhood? God, why can't he see how strong he is? Yohji had managed not only to survive such a horrid life, but to retain his humanity along the way. And because of that, Yohji was full of regret, of self-hatred, proving that his father hadn't managed to break his spirit or his heart.

You're amazing, Yohji. Absolutely amazing. I love you so much, Ran declared silently. And it's about time that I told you.

Misunderstanding Ran's silence for rejection, Yohji moved to get out from underneath the redhead. Startled out of his thoughts, Ran managed to hold Yohji still, preventing the blonde from moving away.

"Let me go," Yohji told him, his voice hard but full of hurt.

"No," Ran replied, as he placed a hand underneath Yohji's chin, forcing the green-eyed boy to look at him. "You're staying where you are and you're going to listen to what I have to say. Got it?"

After a tense moment, Yohji sighed but relented, nodding his head reluctantly.

"Everything you just said only confirms one thing to me." Ran smiled, his eyes rebelliously tearing once again. "That you're an amazing person. So full of strength that it astonishes me." Yohji looked at him with disbelieving eyes and Ran's smile widened. "It's true. Believe it or not, but it's true. You had a life full of pain and you were forced to do things that would've destroyed a weaker person. God, Yohji. Don't you get it?" Ran cupped Yohji's face and stared into his wide eyes. "You're a miracle, Yohji. A goddamn miracle and..." Ran swallowed but looked steadily into Yohji eyes, willing the blonde to believe him. "I love you, Yohji. I love you so very much."

Yohji's lips began to tremble, as his eyes filled with tears yet again. "You love me?" he asked in a whisper, his hoarse voice full of awe.

Ran nodded, his cheeks now wet from the tears cascading from his own eyes. "Yeah. With all my heart."

Yohji began to cry then, almost uncontrollably and Ran held him against his chest. "It's okay," he whispered shakily. "I'm here. I'll always be here."

"I love you, Ran" Yohji cried, as he gazed into Ran's violet eyes. "I love you."

Ran kissed Yohji then, hungrily and without reservation, letting lose all of the pent up passion that had been trapped inside of him. Yohji's hands buried themselves within his red hair and Ran groaned, his body once again coming to life.

"Take me, Ran," Yohji gasped into Ran's mouth. "Make me yours."

Ran realized at that moment why Yohji wanted him to be on top. It's because of what he did. Because of the rapes. He raised himself onto his hands, breathing heavily and began to grind his hips against Yohji's warm body. He understood now what Yohji needed and despite his virginity, Ran was determined to grant Yohji's wish.

"Do you have something?"

Yohji nodded and pointed to the night stand. Ran reached over and opened the small drawer there and retrieved a light blue tube from it. His hands shook as he opened the small tube of lubricant but he managed to coat himself without making a fool of himself.

"Do me," Yohji told him.

"Right." Ran wanted to kick himself for almost forgetting to do the same for Yohji. It wasn't like he didn't know what to do. Having known early on about his sexual preferences, he had been sure to read up on the matter of homosexual lovemaking. But he was nervous, forgetting was he'd learned. Calm down, dammit. You're going to ruin it.

Ran took a deep breath as he inserted a finger into Yohji's tight entrance. Yohji gasped, but not in pain, as Ran moved his finger in and out of the puckered hole. Ran could feel himself hardening even more at the sounds of pleasure Yohji was making. He inserted another finger and then another until Yohji was moving against him, trying to take in his fingers further into him.

"Now, Ran. Do it now."

Ran removed his fingers and replaced them with his painfully hard erection. Not wanting to hurt Yohji, Ran pushed into the blonde slowly, resisting the urge to plunge into the wonderful heat encasing him. Never before had he felt such pleasure and Ran gritted his teeth as he willed his virgin body to hold on to its control. But it was hard. So fucking hard.

Once Yohji's body took him in to the hilt, Ran began to move, thrusting back and forth in a growing rhythm of frantic need. Over and over again, he rammed himself into Yohji, loving the feeling of being gripped and released. He was going wild, mindlessly lost to the exquisite agony now engulfing him. Fire was coursing through him, spreading throughout his body and Ran basked in all its burning glory.

Yohji arched against him and Ran growled at the sight of his lover's slick body moving against him. He ran his hand down his beloved's chest until his hand wrapped itself around Yohji's swaying erection. Yohji began to whimper as Ran pumped the hard shaft within his grasp relentlessly.

"God, Ran. Oh, God," Yohji cried out as he came, his seed jetting into the air, covering both of their stomachs.

Ran felt Yohji's body clamp around his pulsing erection and he hissed as pleasure spiked through him, making him lose all control. He rammed into Yohji's form mercilessly, aiming for what his body was demanding of him, unable to stop himself from claiming what was his. He gripped Yohji's shoulders, giving him little room to move but increasing the friction between them by a tenfold. His seed exploded out of him in a wave of intensity beyond his imaginings and Ran shouted Yohji's name as his body was drained not only of his seed, but his strength as well. All thought was purged from his mind as he fell, panting and shivering, upon Yohji's giving body, unable to hold himself up any longer.

Completely sated and barely able to form a thought, Ran shifted his body until he was lying on his side. He reached out and pulled Yohji against him, embracing his new lover as if he would never let him go. Yohji moved into the embrace and placed a gentle kiss against his neck. Ran smiled even as sleep began to dull his senses and his eyes began to close on their own accord.

It's going to be alright, he thought sleepily, as he rested his head over Yohji's. We'll always be together. That was his promise to the one he loved. And as sleep finally overtook him, Ran swore that it was a promise he would forever keep.

"I found him."

"Where?"

The man snickered as he spoke into the payphone. "Guess."

"Kudou?"

"Got it in one."

"Fucking bastard," the voice on the other end of the call spat.

"So what now?"

"I'm working on it. Just keep an eye on the little prick for now."

"I'm not one for waiting, Kei."

"I know you aren't but this time the waiting will be worth it. Trust me, Marshall."

Marshall smiled wickedly as he hung up the phone. Adjusting his collar as he looked around, he existed the phone booth and walked away from it, his thoughts already making plans of his own as he disappeared into the street's busy crowd.

Soon, green eyes. Soon.

To be continued ...

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