Yui Miyamoto 
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Disclaimer: Gravitation = not yui's. Gravitation = Maki Murakami-sensei. Luna
Sea and Zetsuai/Koji aren't mine either. Only the song 'Infatuation' is mine (as
with all other 'songs' in my Gravi fanfics ^_^).Infatuation
Chapter 15 - My own happiness.
When
the whole mess was finished, everyone went hope safe and sound. Thankfully,
there was no one hurt after the all the commotion.
As for Tatsuha and I,
we went all the way back to the hotel room in silence.
We knew what had
happened and what was going to happen.
If this didn't happen, I know I would
have stayed with him forever...
But I'll never tell that Yuki. It's a
secret too painful and deep to say.
I took Tatsuha to the bedroom and
closed the door behind us. Even if there was no one else there, it still felt
like the door should be shut.
What was here should always be kept among
these four walls.
"Tatsuha?" I finally broke the silence as I drew the
curtain to look out the window.
He smiled wistfully and held me as we
looked down to the lights shining below us.
"I know," he
whispered.
"It's not that I picked you over your brother..." I sighed and
stopped. Then I started as I held his arms wrapped around my shoulders tighter,
"If it weren't for this, I know I would have-"
Tatsuha put his finger on
my lips and shook his head. "I know it's not."
He then answered, "When
it really came to a crisis, we chose who we'd protect. Ni-chan chose you. Not
Touma-san or anyone else. He had only one person in mind. And I knew that. And
it's not that I don't love you...but I ran instinctively to
Ryuichi."
If...if you could have seen Ryuichi's face when you took
his hand, Tatsuha...
With this, we held each other in silence. It didn't
need to be said at all from then on.
We cared so much for one
another...
Very intense, ne? To think that you could find someone who
understood you and everything...and to find that...
...in the end, there
was someone whom we cared for even greater than that.
With this last
thought, I smiled at him and wrapped my arms Tatsuha's neck. "Thank you...for
everything."
I then kissed his cheek and packed all my stuff to
leave.
"Do you think I should leave poor defenseless Ryuichi-san here
with you?" I said to Tatsuha with a wink. "You might wear the poor guy
out."
"Don't worry, I won't." He blushed and looked every which way. "It
might be the other way around!"
Just as he said that, Yuki was at the
door. They looked at each other and hesitantly smiled. Yuki cleared his throat
and was about to say sorry when Tatsuha put his hand up.
"You'd think I'd
let _you_ say sorry, Ni-chan?" Tatsuha laughed. "I didn't mean
anything-"
"Nor I." Yuki answered back in an interruption.
Then,
Yuki patted his shoulder and smirked. I smiled at that.
When we were
going to leave, Yuki said, "Yo! Tatsuha."
"Yeah?"
"Ahem. Tou-chan
asked that you had to take care of him." Yuki opened the door.
There was
Ryuichi-san in the doorway with Kumagorou and his luggage. "Mind if I stay here
with you?"
Tatsuha, who was standing there next to me like a deer caught
by the headlights, stood there frozen with eyes blinking as if he couldn't
figure out if he had been dreaming.
"If you mind, I'll leave." Ryuichi
said.
"My room is yours?" he immediately said as he gulped while pulling
Ryuichi to the living room.
Yuki smirked and whispered, "That's how _I_
say sorry."
Tatsuha pointed at him and said to Ryuichi, "Please stay here
one second."
I went over to Ryuichi. He tilted his head and smiled.
"Thanks."
"For what?" I asked.
With a meaningful smile,
Ryuichi-san said, "You knew how much I like him...That's why you-"
I
shook my head. "He chose you. He'll always choose you."
Then, we heard a
loud "THANKS, NI-CHAN!"
Ryuichi and I looked at each other and laughed. I
nudged him and winked while nodding to him, "You're only defense is to _not_
sing. If you do...well, you'll find out. Bye!"
As Yuki and I
entered our apartment, Yuki closed the door behind us.
Turning around, I
said, "Tadaimasu."
"Okaeri."
Yuki then again was going to sit in his
office. He sat in his chair.
"Going to do work again?" I complained as I put
my stuff down and walked over to him. "I just got here!"
He then pushed
his laptop to the side and grabbed my waist and placed me carefully on the desk
in front of him. "Yeah, I'm going to do a _lot_ of work."
My eyebrow went up
with a slight smile on my lips. "Oh, is that so?"
Yuki then kissed me so
passionately that I gasped for air. "I-I can't breathe."
"Kiss me until I
can't breathe," he began to sing a little.
I pushed him a bit so that I could
look at him. "Have you been listening to my Luna Sea cds?"
"You can learn a
_lot_ from Sugizo, I've learned," he answered with a sly smirk. Then, he blinked
his eyes in innocence. "And Koji Nanjo's performance on 'Katuai'?"
"Well,
we'll see if you'll past the test for these lessons of yours," I answered back
just as playfully.
At that, we resumed kissing as he pulled my shirt to come
down to my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed just as
hard back.
Then, I he began to search every inch of my body until he had
consumed all of me.
"Kono ai ga todokanai
Aisenai..." he sang as he
brought his hands softly up and down the contours of my body and settled them on
my waist.
My muscles tightened up and I grabbed him as he picked me up to
transfer the bedroom. Then, as he placed his body over mine.
He whispered
to my ear,
"You think I ask too much
Then just push me away...
I don't
want just your heart
I don't want just your mind,
I don't want just your
soul.
I want everything."
Then, at last, he whispered, "I need
you."The next day, I went back just as energetic to get on
with the next recordings for our new album. I handed over my lyrics for them to
look at and nodded as they said, "Wow you got this done quickly this
time."
They looked at each other. Then, they looked at Yuki in the
doorway who was scratching his head with a slight blush. And he looked every
other way except theirs.
"Yu~ki needs me," I was singing in my head.
"Yuukiii~ needs me..."
"We can hear you," Sakano, K, and the rest
said.
"Ehehehe." I laughed.
"Hiro smiled at me and hit my head
with the usual, "Don't worry me like that, you idiot."
I turned once
again into a chibi and jumped into his arms, "Ah, you know you love
me."
Hiro cleared his throat as he sweated. "Just sing your
songs."
He never could resist me. No, no. I know he just can't. * chu
*
Hiro then started to play around with his guitar.
I ran to Yuki
and kissed him on the lips before entering the recording booth while winking,
"Just for good luck."
And we started to record, "Infatuation":
[I
look at Hiro.]
My tired heart has had it fill of sadness,
and I don't
think I can drink any more blood.
And when this day came,
I thought I was
going to die...
[Closing my eyes, I think of Ryuichi.]
Don't know
why
Taking all the pain and swallowing.
Don't know why
I love you so
much it hurts!
This isn't Infatuation.
Just say that you need
me.
You think it's too much
then tell me and I'll stop,
That is
Infatuation.
Tell me that you want me
And I won't ask for anything
else.
I promise.
[I think of Tatsuha...]
There are too many
lovers,
You can say 'I love you' to anybody,
but when I said it to
you,
I knew it was different.
Thought it was the same my way.
Don't
know what
love is really, but I'm understanding.
Don't know how
to show
it without being too passionate.
Infatuation
is when your heart
doesn't stop beating
so fast that you think you won't survive.
Want to be
with you always, no that's not it.
Infatuation
isn't the kind of idea I
want,
that is just a feeling.
I want the real thing.
[Looking
directly at Yuki...]
(whisper) You think I ask too much
Then just push
me away...
I don't want just your heart
I don't want just your mind,
I
don't want just your soul.
I want everything.
[Closing my
eyes, I sing as if pouring my heart out...]
This isn't
Infatuation.
Just say that you need me.
You think it's too much
then
tell me and I'll stop,
That is Infatuation.
Tell me that you want
me
And I won't ask for anything else.
I promise.
Infatuation (it's
just an intense concept)
is when your heart doesn't stop (an illusion in the
least)
beating so fast that you think you'd die, (that's if I lose
you)
Infatuation (It's just a frame of mind)
isn't the kind of love I
want, (it's just fake)
that is just a feeling. (I don't want a part.)
I
want the real thing. (I want all of you.)
Then, I added in a low and
seductive whisper in the end, "Show me."
Nodding my head with my eyes
closed as if to cry, I smiled confidently to myself.
"This is my own
happiness," I whispered to myself.
Opening my eyes, I felt the intensity
of it all. My body feels tired, but it can still go on. The sweat drips down my
face. My heart is pounding inside of chest...
I now understand
Ryuichi-san...this feeling you spoke of...
--
Author's notes:
they're on a separate page this time. So please read it. ^_^ Thank
you!
your friendly author, yui miyamoto
Yui Miyamoto
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