Yui Miyamoto 
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Pairing
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Disclaimer: Zetsuai is held by the awesome Minami Ozaki-sama. I just am so in
love with the story that I just had to finally make a fanfic. Unworthy as it
is...
I thought nothing could break me.
Apparently, he didn't
either, but he did anyway...What I Held
As he
laid there with a fever, he began to mumble quietly. "No, no, Mother.
Don't!"
And I couldn't understand what he was talking about. It was mentioned
to me by his teacher. But he wouldn't tell me anything about that incident. And
so the this boy that I didn't know at all, he became more mysterious. He had
taken me from the pouring rain and began to care for me as if we had been
childhood friends.
Through that hard exterior, through all the insults,
through the sterness he he had tried to foster in front of me, I earnestly took
this minor abuse to my ego or so on. There was something endearing about
it.
He was just being himself, I had found out.
And here I was kneeling
next to him in concern and worry. Though he seemed all right, he began to have
nightmares and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about
them.
Nothing at all...
At that moment, I began to cry. Touching
my tears, I was so alarmed at my emotions.
I had never done this
before...
When my brother got upset with me for sleeping with his
girlfriend...
When I was picked on by my family...
When I got angry for
being pushed into sword training...
Never had I shown any type of strong
emotion. No anger. No sadness. No happiness.
I had always kept a clear
eye out for the future though I acted so recklessly. And as I looked at Izumi, I
began to realize all that I had been lacking.
I began to see all the things
that had hurt me so much but I had kept a straight face lest I lose my honor.
This indefinite pride that I kept inside of me though it was sometimes too much
to maintain, but nonetheless kept.
Crying even more, I placed my hands on
the ground and looked at him more. By now, he was sleeping soundly.
That
peaceful face at sleep...
Hiding everything behind that tough mask, he
was letting his dreams slide by the wayside. He had too many to protect.
He
had too many secrets to hide.
And he wouldn't tell me.
None of
it.
I didn't blame him.
What could I do for him? What could I possibly
do for him?
I want to know more about you. I want to help you.
I want
to...
to...to love you...
Reaching out to him in the darkness, he
stirred as if he knew and turned to one side. An unconscious
rejection...
It was then that I held my mouth and began to pour even more
tears down to the ground. Sobbing quietly, I was now aware of myself.
All
the tears I had held inside were gushing out of me.
And I didn't know that
there had been so many.
Almost in a rage, I wanted to scream at Takuto
Izumi sleeping like my fallen angel right in front of me. It was his fault for
making me confused, for making me think twice about everything now...
But
I knew there was no one...
No one to blame but myself.
I had looked
for so long for this feeling. And I was so unaware of the impact it would have
on me.
It was because of Izumi...
it's because of you, Izumi.
You
had brought it out.
You brought to my attention.
And so if I lose you
now, if I let you leave me...
I couldn't finish my thought.
I
can't...
...live without you now.
My sobs became a murmur and I
continued to cry as I stared at Izumi, who unknowingly had become the object of
my twisted desire. I couldn't hold my tears anymore and nor could I take back my
feelings.
There was no return...
None.
No
mercy.
--
Author's note: I love Izumi, but Koji is the scary one that
I identify with...
Yui Miyamoto
Author
Pairing
Rating
Subject
