MangaJuggalette 
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Broken Home
Quatre watched as Trowa lay sleeping silently
on the couch. They’d had yet another argument. They’d been having a lot of those
recently .It seemed that the perfect couple, the two soul-mates who were
destined to be together, were not as perfect as first thought. ‘He looks so
peaceful when he sleeps… he always told me I was the angelic one, but when I see
him as peaceful as he is now…’ Quatre sighed. He walked towards the couch,
pulling the blankets closer around Trowa. He sighed once again, running a finger
through his hair. He really was beautiful. Quatre leant down to kiss the
sleeping boy on the forehead, but stopped himself before he could, attempting to
keep his ever waning self control. Standing upright, he walked out the room,
glancing only once over his shoulder regretfully. ‘If only perfection lasted
forever…..’
img src="blueline2.gif">"Mmmmm… Quatre baby, please,
don’t stop, don’t stop"
"Trowa….., I, I"
"Quatre… Please.. yes! Right
there.. don’t stop now, not now.."
"Trowa, I love, I love-"
"Oh
Quatre…."
"Trowa, I love y’"
Trowa awoke with a start, wiping
sweat from his forehead and face as he slowly focused back into reality, the
painful memories still clear in his mind. Why did they keep haunting him, those
days when things were still untainted. The days when he and Quatre could still
love each-other without incidents from the past interfering. ’If only I hadn’t
spent that night away…. If only we hadn’t had that argument… if only I hadn’t
been drinking.. if only he hadn’t been there to comfort me… if only I hadn’t
taken advantage of him.. if only he had known..’ Trowa buried his head in his
hands. There was so much regret between them. Quatre was willing to forgive and
forget the incident, even though Trowa could tell he was really hurt. They had
tried to sort it out with words, and eventually they agreed it was a mistake and
that nobody was to take the blame. Quatre said everything was fine and was
always willing to keep a promise to a loved one. Or so he said, but every time
they became intimate again, somehow his name would get into it and thus an
argument would break out. It was as if every time they felt they moved forward,
in reality they had moved three steps back. Trowa sighed, attempting to stand
up, his back sore from yet another night on the couch. He knew he still cared
about Quatre, he knew he still loved Quatre, but things were just so messed up…
Trowa sighed and made his way to their bedroom. Maybe they could talk some more.
Quatre ignored Trowa as he talked through the door, occasionally
pounding his fists against the wooden frame in an attempt to get a response
since none of his words were getting through. He couldn’t take this pressure.
Everything seemed to hurt too much. Last nights argument had been the toughest
yet, leaving him in tears and Trowa standing stuttering, trying to find away to
rephrase anything and everything he had just said. But no words could help now.
Quatre’s confidence had been shattered, Trowa had actually suggested that he
wasn’t good enough, and there was a reason he had been unfaithful that night.
Quatre bit his lip and fought back tears as he remembered those harsh words.
‘Was he serious? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was. I am probably not good
enough for him…. Not for anyone…’ Quatre shook his head. Why couldn’t Trowa just
leave him be?
Trowa banged his head against the door. He was being
ignored. Blatantly. And it hurt more because in every other difficult situation
they had ever found themselves in, he had always been willing to listen. He
fought back tears of anger. He had said everything wrong last night, agreeing
where he had meant to deny, denying where he had meant to agree, and now Quatre
believed that Trowa had cheated on him for a reason of need. He threw his head
back and swung around angrily, storming down the stairs. He wasn’t leaving for
good, he would be back soon, but they both needed some time to figure these
things out, and perhaps he left him alone for a bit, then they’d both be level
headed when they next talked.
Quatre sat rocking back and forth,
no longer in his room but downstairs. He felt so awful. Trowa had been gone for
three hours now. He probably wasn’t going to come back either, and it was all
his fault. Maybe he should have listened to him. Maybe he should have spent the
time trying to sort things out. But it was too late, and now Trowa was gone. The
only person he had ever loved was gone. "Probably away fucking that little bitch
of his…" Quatre muttered shocked at his outburst but somehow it not seeming to
matter anymore. "I’m not a decent human being" Quatre spoke out-loud "I don’t
deserve to live" He pulled himself up from the floor and stormed into the
kitchen, grabbing a knife from the draw. He stared at the sharp blade,
contemplating his end. "So this is how it’ll be then… I’ll die like the coward I
am.. running away from my problems.." Quatre whispered, not sure if his words
were of anger or admittance. He ran his finger along the blade, just lightly
enough so as not to draw blood. It felt so smooth. It felt so right. At this
moment it was all he needed.
Wufei knocked quietly at the door of the
winner estate. He looked to the sky, the stars seeming sadder than usual. He was
here for unpleasant business, and he would do anything to run away from this
place and hide from what had happened, but if honour meant anything to him than
he would have to do this. He knew it was his fault that Quatre and Trowa’s
relationship was in the turmoil it was. He hadn’t meant to spend that night with
Trowa, but when Trowa turned up on his doorstep, tears streaking down his cheek,
he’d had no choice but to comfort him. The boy was obviously drunk, he could
tell that much, but somehow this had made him stronger than usual, and before he
knew what had happened, he had found himself from having a comforting arm around
his neck, to being pushed back onto a bed, Trowa showering him with sharp,
fierce kisses. At first Wufei had protested, knowing it was wrong, but Trowa
just kept saying that he needed it, and wouldn’t let go, not allowing any
escape. And then it had happened…. Wufei shook his head free of flashbacks,
looking back at the door which had remained in the same position, having not
been answered. He tried knocking again. Still no answer. Glancing around he knew
somebody was in; the lights were on upstairs and in the kitchen. He tried the
door, and was half relieved, half panicked when it opened, obviously unlocked.
He drew a deep breath and walked in.
"Hello?" he called. No answer, but
there was the slight clattering sound of a draw being slammed shut from the
kitchen. Cautiously Wufei approached. He swung the door open to find the blonde
former pilot sitting on the table, a knife to his wrist. "Quatre no!!" he yelled
running forward.
Quatre looked up as he heard the
front door opening? ‘Trowa ?’ he thought, for a split second his hopes raised,
before remembering what he was doing. ‘No.. I won’t torture Trowa any longer..’
Quatre clenched his fists, picking up the knife roughly in his hands.
Swallowing, he concentrated on the task at hand, his eyes blurring with a mix of
tears and anger, anger at himself.
"Quatre no!!" a voice sounded. He looked
up sharply to be greeted with the sight of Wufei. He growled. This was the last
person he wanted to see. For a moment Wufei stopped, staring into his eyes, and
then a look of fear crossed his face. "Quatre? What are you doing?" Wufei
whispered, trying to block out the fear in his voice as he stared at Quatre but
failing. ‘His eyes…’ Wufei swallowed harder… ‘his eyes…’ Quatre stood up slowly.
"You" he pointed the knife at Wufei, who had now forgotten about hiding his
fear, and was edging towards the door in a last attempt at escape . All thoughts
of suicide vanished from Quatre’s mind to be replaced with rage, pure anger at
the sight of this boy who had torn his relationship apart in one night. Without
a seconds thought he lunged at Wufei, knocking the Chinese boy to the ground as
he screamed. "I hate you!!" Quatre yelled, Tears swelling up in his eyes "You
fucking bastard!! You ruined it all!! You’ve killed any hope!! If it wasn’t for
you I’d still be happy!! If it wasn’t for you we’d still be happy!!" Wufei
thrashed around frantically, desperately trying to free himself from Quatre’s
grasp, the blonde boy displaying amazing strength in his rage. Wufei screamed as
loud as he could, hoping someone could hear him, hoping anyone could hear him.
In a blind panic, Wufei raised an arm to hit Quatre in the face, forgetting his
aim not to hurt him, desperation causing him to try anything to get away. Quatre
ducked and brought his hand down sharply in self defence. Wufei wasn’t getting
away!! And then there was silence as Wufei stopped screaming, all the breath in
his lungs seeming to have been drained for him. He slowly moved a hand to his
chest, before holding it up in front of him, revealing dark crimson blood
dripping from his fingers. Quatre started to shake violently as he realised that
when he had brought his hand down, he had stabbed the knife into Wufei’s chest.
"Qu.. Qua… Quat.. " Wufei struggled to speak as a searing pain rushed
through his whole body.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god" Quatre yelled, pulling the
knife out from Wufei’s chest, only to cause a sudden rush of blood to come
spilling from his wound. Without thinking he ripped the shirt from his own body,
exposing his pale skin, pressing it down onto Wufei’s chest, praying that he
could make it all better.
"I’m sorry…" Wufei whispered, desperately trying
to move his hand to his pocket. "about everything…"
"Oh god…" Quatre
repeated, disbelief at what he had just done leaving him speechless.
"I
wanted to give this to.." Wufei paused to cough slightly, leaving a small trail
of blood running from his lip "to Trowa, to give to you.. but I suppose I’ll be
the messenger…" fumbling slightly he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.
"Oh god…" Quatre couldn’t stop shaking unable to draw is eyes away from the
shirt that was swiftly becoming soaked with blood, the warm liquid pooling out
onto his palms
"I’m so sorry for what has happened…." Wufei managed to
whisper hoarsely, his voice almost completely gone… "I hope… this.." he glanced
towards the piece of paper.. "helps.." and his eyes fluttered to a half closed
state, his whole body becoming limp and the note dropping from his hand as he
took one last breath.
"Wufei? Wufei ,wake up? Please wake up!! You can’t be
dead!! You can’t!! I couldn’t kill you!! I can’t kill a friend.. I couldn’t kill
a friend.." but Quatre stopped as the painful realisation came to him that he
had not only just killed a friend, but he had killed many people in the past..
including nearly killing the one he loved, the one he had done all this
for…
"Trowa…" Quatre cried, tears running down his cheeks. Still shaking,
Quatre managed to pluck the note from the floor, where it had fallen out of
Wufei’s grasp. His eyes flitted lightly over the words. It was an apology. An
honest apology where Trowa had exposed his heart and soul in an attempt to
explain himself. More tears streamed down Quatre’s face as he read those loving
words. He paused to take a look around. Everything was a mess, the kitchen
demolished during the struggle, blood all over the floor, the walls, Wufei’s
lifeless body, and all over his own hands, dripping as he held the note before
himself. And in the middle of it he sat, covered in blood and tears, shirtless,
cold, and a letter in his hand, now also covered with blood. He glanced back at
the roughly scrawled words to read the last few lines…. Fresh tears fell from
his eyes, tears of happiness tinged with a sadness that burned him from the
inside out, as the last words were printed clearer than anything else on the
page.
‘I’m not as dumb as you think I am, and out of all the things I
don’t know in this world, there is one thing I am sure of: I really don’t care
about nothing at all, but I think the world of you. I love you
Quatre….
"Trowa!!" Quatre cried, burying his face in his hands, the
blood now in his hair and on his cheeks, his whole life a wreck. Everything had
been perfect, he was just too confused and hurt to see it. And now everything
was ruined, and nothing could ever be the same. If only he had listened…..
Quatre cried long and hard, the ink on the letter running from his tears, all
the words becoming a blur except for the last four words…
And then Trowa
walked in.
~ End ~
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