Elyndys 
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Disclaimer: I am not owning these characters, to use the Indian
English construction.
Pairing: will be 1+2+1/1x2x1; reference to
past 1xR, R+1.
Warnings: Part 7 has no warnings. For future warnings
see Part 1 and see individual parts. This is an AU fic.
Escaping Part 7
Heero realised he hadn't expected *not * to have dinner with Duo. He
nodded and Duo smiled.
"Great!" But then his expression was
suddenly tinged with a little concern: "Ms. Peacecraft doesn't mind me
dragging you away like this?"
Heero had never thought about it.
"She knows my work is as important to me as hers is to her."
Duo
smiled. "Yes, she does seem like a very talented individual.
Heero
said only, "I didn't tell her exactly who it was I was meeting."
Duo nodded. "I understand. She doesn't know about the
investigation?"
Heero shook his head. "No-one does."
"Of
course. So will you be around at the summit again?"
"Probably."
Duo smiled. "I'll look out for you. But how are you going to
explain it to the delegates? To your wife?"
Heero was silent for
just a moment. "I'll think about that when, and if, I have to."
"Must be difficult, not being able to talk about your work with
your partner…" Duo mused.
Heero looked at him. "I've never thought
about it. And besides, she's used to it." Heero felt strangely
uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading in, and he
couldn't quite say why. That was even more unusual. He cast about for a
change of focus, and remembered something. "What about your partner? You
were alone at the opening dinner…"
Duo shrugged, smiling. "He went
back home to L2. He has to work. I think maybe `partner' was too strong a
word - we're not that serious. He came down with me and stayed a few days
on earth before the summit, got to see a few of the sights, like the
Gundam." Just a small flash of a glance, out of the corner of an eye…
Heero looked away. "But anyway, those formal do's aren't his scene." Duo
gave a small laugh. "Not mine, either, really."
Heero knew he
didn't have to say he felt the same.
"I'd much rather have a
smaller arrangement for the whole affair. In fact," he looked serious, "it
strikes me as pretty stupid. Announcing to the world `Oh look, here are
all the leaders of the Earth Sphere gathered in one place, anyone who
wants a shot please form an orderly queue.' I mean, you don't have to
worry so much, Relena has her home to go to, but lots of us are even
staying in the same place, for god's sake! That's another reason I've been
trying to get out of the place as much as possible. And it's why I want to
help you. I thought… you'd maybe need a hand, keeping an eye on all these
dignitaries. And," his smile returned a little, "all the other people,
like me."
There was silence for just a few moments, before Duo
spoke again. "So I just want to say again. Thank you for meeting me like
this. Thanks for giving me a chance."
Heero kept his expression
neutral. "It is my job."
Duo shrugged. "Yeah, but you did say
yourself you don't have any evidence as yet… I admire you for taking it so
seriously." He smiled. "Makes me a feel a little safer."
"I'm glad
to do it. It's been a while since I've felt so… involved. Like I had a
real chance to do something; even prevent things from going wrong… That's
what this feels like it could be."
Duo nodded, still smiling. "I
knew we understood each other. Anything I can do… just let me know."
"You have enough to do, I'm sure, at the conference."
Duo
shrugged. "It's all pretty frustrating really. Everyone seems so… distant
from what they're talking about." He smiled wryly. "It's just like
everyone said it would be, but I didn't expect any different. It's just…"
his smile faded. "They don't feel for what they're talking about, y'know?"
He sighed frustratedly. "And even the ones who seem to care a bit more are
never listened to, so end up having to agree to whatever anyone else
says." He met Heero's gaze then. "No offence to Ms. Peacecraft…" He looked
apologetic, and his voice trailed away.
Heero shook his head.
"Don't worry. Relena doesn't need me to fight her battles for her." As
soon as the words left his lips he realised what he had said.
It
was true. She didn't. Relena was perfectly capable of looking after
herself in this new era of peace. Heero suddenly felt hollow. In Relena,
he saw a peace he'd never known, an innocence he'd never seen. Some
instinct, it couldn't be evoked through his raining alone, told him to
protect that hope of peace, even at the cost of his own life. And he had;
throughout the war, every time he had encountered Relena, some reflex
caused him to jump and push her from the line of fire. Stopped him pulling
the trigger himself.
But now…
Peace. What he'd wanted.
What he'd fought for…
Moments of confusion. But … he had thought
all this so recently! The prisoners! Over and over, they rejected peace
and sought to shake it. He'd been a soldier… nothing else. Now he was …
worthless… words he'd had spoken to him time and again.. he would never
change, would never be able to forget what he had done, and should never
be able to lay aside his responsibility… Familiar words that rang in his
brain. No-one expected him to be anything but a soldier, no-one expected
that he could change.
…But that was why he should try…
This was his purpose now. To keep that peace. Of course. He knew.
There was no need for confusion, for helplessness; Relena may not need his
protection as much now, but there were others that did. Ordinary citizens…
and… those others concerned with keeping the peace.
People like
Duo.
It was still his duty to protect those who worked to improve
the world…
"To atone for my own mistakes… for all I did…" He heard
his voice, barely a whisper. He was surprised to hear himself say it out
loud, but it made it real.
"Heero?" Duo watched him closely.
Heero looked up, his speech still quiet but deliberate, water
seeping through the cracks in the glass. "I have to do it. That is why I
do my job - I must pay back in peace what I destroyed in war. All the
things…" His voice dropped lower again. "I… killed innocents… I killed
pacifists… I made mistakes." [1]
"Some things are unavoidable. War
makes it so." Duo looked sincerely into his eyes. "You can't blame
yourself."
"And you don't?" Heero met his gaze.
Duo sat
back sharply, startled. "I…"
Heero shook his head. "You have less
to blame yourself for than me. You're making your amends but it will take
me longer..."
"…but you're making yours as well." Duo had leaned
forward again, a force deepening his eyes.
Heero looked into those
eyes… so full of… conviction. Heero remembered what he had thought before.
Determination. It flowed out and through channels in Heero he had once
known well and now regained, never having noticed them run dry; now it
felt like the inside of his body had been asleep, and this vital reviction
woke him and brought back sensation; pins and needles pricking.
This investigation would help him.
Duo would help him…
But making amends… Still so far to go. He lowered his gaze,
suddenly weary. Still… so far…
"I have to do it." Voice still a
whisper. "I can do it, but there is so much to do."
"I can help
you. Let me help you."
A smile in remembrance of those words,
echoed from earlier that day. But… "Still so far…" Heero looked up again,
smile gone. His whisper so low he couldn't hear it himself; merely felt
his lips move in the shape of the words. "Duo. I was the gundam pilot."
A silence. Heero waited, anticipating nothing.
Duo's hand
covered his on the table. Warmth seeped through. Heero looked up.
A low voice, but full of conviction to match his eyes. A tighter
grasp of Heero's hand. "I know."
[1] I am
following the canon timeline, even though the background is rather
different; you can take it that Heero did basically the same things,
although alone for much of the time (exceptions being eg fighting with the
mercenaries - but in my fic Heero is obviously entirely secretive about
the gundam; in the series, he just loves to tell people, ne?! "I am a
gundam pilot after all" etc, etc…).
Elyndys
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