Elyndys 
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Disclaimer: If I owned GW, I would be happy. I am happy. But to draw
the conclusion that I own GW from those statements would be to affirm the
consequent, and would therefore be an invalid argument.
See?
Pairing: 1+2+1/1x2x1; reference to past 1xR, R+1.
Warnings:
Part 15 contains a masturbation scene. For all other warnings see part 1
and individual parts. This is an AU fic.
Notes: I was pretty proud
of this part. I hope I explain adequately what I mean about Heero's past,
and his feelings, at the beginning of the part; I also hope that my
attempts at history in the colonies don't go too awry either. I may expand
on this in the future. Also, please don't forget that I raised everyone's
ages at the time of the war (this was purely to facilitate Heero's
marriage to Relena, I admit) but what I did was, moved the war, not the
year they were all born – consequently, and I hope this is clear from the
fic, the war occurred in AC198. It is entirely possible I have already
contradicted this in previous parts, and I may continue to do so – the
hazards of having my silly brain, unfortunately. Sorry about the mass of
notes!! These were just to clarify, but I hope they are clear from the fic
anyway! ^_^
Escaping Part 15
I thought about Duo.
Before I went to sleep, I thought about
Duo.
When I woke up, I thought about Duo.
In the shower,
getting washed before going to work, I allowed myself to think about Duo…
About the lingering kisses placed open-mouthed against my neck. About warm
hands tracing sparks on my skin; about my own hands teasing shivers forma
sensitised place on another wiling body, places I had never explored
before.
Duo had unlocked something inside me. And he had awakened
inside my mind that I had never had a chance to examine before.
When I was very young I was trained to control my body: heart
rate, brain waves, respiratory pattern, bodily or subconscious reactions
to any sort of stimuli. During the war those skills proved several times
to be invaluable to me, and for that I found myself very thankful. It
wasn't that, since the war, I had found myself incapable of breaking some
of those habits: but it was that I had found no-one for whom I had the
inclination to make the effort.
Until now.
Sexual desire:
I had never felt it before. I had never followed the ingrained path of
things that other people felt, or thought they were supposed to feel,
because it was never ingrained into me. I had known since I was very small
that the only things worth feeling were the genuine things, the important
things – all the rest is pointless. It is the real feelings that I was
always taught I should act upon.
That lesson had been slowly
buried in me over the years… Tarnished under Relena's pleas for normality.
She wanted me to be a normal man, with a normal job, not a soldier
anymore. I wasn't. I wasn't either of those things, anymore – but she
still saw in me those warlike tendencies she did not wish to see. So she
tried to reshape me, and I tried as well. But it failed, and I saw that,
now, through Duo's eyes: I didn't want to try anymore. I didn't want to
wonder anymore why I should want to feel those erroneous things. Because I
didn't. Any of it.
She tried to make me into a good husband, who
did those things that husbands should: I had reluctantly made my body give
in to her persuasion, in her aspirations for normality – but she had never
touched my mind. As time had gone by I became more and more determined
that she never would. And when I met Duo, I knew that she never could.
He could.
He could, and he had.
And so it was that
now I felt those real feelings for the first time… Standing under the warm
water of the shower spray with the cold plastic at my back, I relived the
moments I had spent with Duo and knew that, for the first time in my life,
I had found someone who could do this to me… I stroked myself, slowly,
unwilling to waste the pleasure I felt at remembering Duo's touch, his
kiss, his heat, his passion. Soon, though, I wanted to let go – the
pictures in my head more vivid, of things we hadn't done. But, I knew,
with a sense of resignation which couldn't quite hide my anticipation, we
would do them, in time.
I imagined, now, his hand on me, his touch
more enticing than my own. Faster; my heart rate faster; my thoughts
fragmenting and I broke. I gasped as I watched my own climax through
slitted eyes, shuddering and leaning back against the plastic wall. It had
never felt like that before… Those few times with Relena were… mechanical,
trying to pretend I was giving her something I knew in reality I never
could. I never let her in. She wasn't like me. She wouldn't understand;
she didn't understand.
Duo.
As I rinsed myself, dried and
dressed, I thought for the hundredth time that I should feel guilty, dirty
even – I was married, and to a woman! But those feelings wouldn't come. I
could only think of Duo, and the intensity of the sensations that shook
me, physically and emotionally.
I couldn't help myself. And I
didn't care. 
"Your message said you wanted to see me
as soon as I got here."
Heero looked up at Trowa standing in the
doorway of his office. "Yeah. We've got to get on with the investigation
to prove to the DCI that it's not a waste of our time."
Trowa
nodded. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want us to work together.
We have to find out how there would be a revolution, and, most
importantly, who would be behind it." He kept his face straight, but there
was just a trace of wit there that he knew Trowa would understand.
Trowa raised his eyebrows slightly. "And that's what you think is
likely to happen?"
Heero looked the sergeant in the eye. "It's as
likely as anything else."
"What's made you come to that
conclusion?" Trowa took a seat beside Heero's desk.
"Several
things. Firstly, what you said about the lack of extremists protesting at
the summit. You were right. It's suspicious. It's something we have to
think about. Secondly… my informant thinks the same." He waited for
Trowa's reaction.
The sergeant's expression didn't change, but his
tone was just a little colder. "You really believe he's genuine."
Heero stared at his colleague for several minutes. "Yes. I've told
you before. I believe him; I believe you. I have just as much reason to."
Again he waited to see what Trowa's response would be.
He watched
the sergeant contemplate for a moment before replying in a still-steely
tone. "Don't blinker yourself Heero. Don't let your emotions get in the
way of doing your job properly."
"Trowa, this isn't just about
having emotions. It's using them that's important. If we didn't do that,
we would be no detectives at all. It's how we get things done, Trowa – by
trying to use these things together: motion, instinct, skill." He paused a
moment. "I don't want this to get in the way of what we should be
focussing on." He looked at Trowa steadily, trying to reassure the other
man.
Eventually Trowa nodded slightly in acquiescence. Heero
relaxed, and began to speak immediately.
"I've been doing research
into events that have happened in the colonies over recent months and
years, that might have some connection to our investigation. All I did was
look at news reports, and found several things that individually might not
have been noticed, but they possibly have some significance. They start
about five years ago" he took in Trowa's surprise "here's the first.
August, AC 200." He brought the file up on the monitor, an archive of a
colony newspaper. "Look. L2, F-25819: strike action by workers on the
reconstruction of the war-damaged areas of the colony. They were
dissatisfied with the aid they had been receiving from Earth, and the pay
they were receiving from the ESUN government. The issue was resolved by
giving the a small pay rise, and Earth subsequently sent a shipment of new
equipment."
He watched as Trowa read over the article, but
continued to speak. "Eighteen months later, on L3-F2800 there were
protests on the first of May, outside the Earth embassy, drawing attention
to the poverty of the colonies in relation to Earth. Seventeen people were
arrested, but there was no serious damage." He pulled up another article
onto the screen. "Apparently, centuries ago, May the first was a
traditional day of protest against the rule of wealth and economic
inequality. The protestors clearly knew their Earth-history. And thousands
of them turned up to the protest." Heero went on mercilessly. "Then, here,
a year later." He brought up another article. "July 203. The President of
the ESUN visits L1 D-4792. There is general unrest, and more protesting in
the streets. Many are arrested for various disturbances, vandalism,
fights. The protestors wanted to draw the President's attention to the
situation in the colonies that hadn't improved significantly since the
war; but at these protests, as you can see from the news reports, there
was an atmosphere of great unease – people were genuinely angry. Hence the
violence." Heero closed the window with the article in it and turned to
Trowa. "There are more reports like these; reports on the poverty in the
colonies, the need to do something to turn things around. The unstable
situation there at the moment is just the sort of environment that breeds
underground movements, built on resentment and secrecy." He paused a
moment. "What does all this say to you?"
Trowa's response was
immediate, soft, serious. "That these rebels, whoever they might be, have
to be stopped."
Heero looked at him for several moments. "That
isn't the important part. They have to be understood."
Trowa
looked at him, almost unseeing. Heero carried on. "It's our home, Trowa –
you're a colonist too. Don't you feel a responsibility? Don't you want to
help them?" He didn't wait for Trowa's reply. "Regardless of *any* rebel
movements, we have to be sympathetic to the people of the colonies.
Failure of understanding between groups of people is what leads to war.
Now I have plenty of issues we need to think through and take up with
various people." He hesitated for a moment. When he continued his voice
was soft. "I want you to contact Preventers."
Trowa looked
serious. "It's got to that stage?"
Heero nodded grimly. "Yeah. I
need to speak to them about this."
Trowa nodded silently, and left
the room. Heero turned back to his monitor, deep in thought. `Now, if I
were planning a revolution now… where would I start?'
Elyndys
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