The Slayers characters aren’t mine. In fact they belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, Kadokawa Shoten, TV TOKYO, SOFTX and Marubeni.*passes out do to lack of oxygen…if only a bishounen would come and give me CPR…wink, wink….UGH! Not Xelloss!* This story contains a m/m pairing. Anyone play Lunar Silver Star Story Complete? If you did the Bromide side-quest then you know what you’re in for…*grumbles* I still think they should have had Bromides for the guys. Especially Kyle and Ghaleon…now that’s an odd pairing.

Bromides

A group of teenage girls stood in a giggling huddle. Normally Lina considered herself above silly teenagers. She was Lina Inverse, controller of such greater powers like the Dragon Slave. But these annoying twits were standing right in front of the inn's doorway. Lina sighed. And this inn was supposed to have the best roasted-chicken of this kingdom.

"Excuse me," she said in a calm but annoyed voice.

The girls ignored her.

"Excuse me!" the tone was harsher.

And the girls continued to giggle and ignore her.

"Flare Arrow!" Lina aimed the spell toward the middle of the huddle. The girls fortunately were paying attention enough to scatter before they got hurt.

"Hey Lina! What's going on?" Gourry's voice asked from behind.

Lina looked to see that her traveling companions had caught up with her. She whirled around, flipping her flame-colored hair over her shoulder. "Just some brats trying to be cool. Hmm, ignore the great Lina Inverse, will they? I hope I wasn't too tough while teaching them their lesson."

"I'd say that you were your usual self," Gourry said.

"Hey!" Lina yelled as she reached up and smacked the swordsman's head.

"Knock it off you two!" Zelgadis snapped. He looked over and saw that the girls had left something behind. At first it seemed to be a scrap of paper. The chimera knelt down and picked it up.

"Gourry!"

Lina and Gourry stopped their argument at Zelgadis' shout. Zelgadis held out the paper with a shaky hand. "I don't understand," the chimera murmured.

Amelia, Sylphiel, and the rest of the group crowded around the paper now in Lina's hands. The reactions of the group were varied. Sylphiel's eyes rolled back and she fainted. Amelia shrugged it off. Lina started to scream. Zelgadis barely managed to reconstruct his usual mask of indifference. And poor Gourry stood in utter confusion.

A small portrait was drawn on the paper. It depicted Gourry coming out of bath with only a damp towel preventing total nudity.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" Lina yelled, "Where the hell did they get this, Gourry?!"

"I don't know. I didn't pose for that!" Gourry meeped as the fiery sorceress started to beat up on him.

"Right! And I'm supposed to believe that!" Lina developed a scary red battle aura.

"Actually he's telling the truth." The group had to step back in surprise when Xelloss materialized right middle of their loose circle.

"Not a bad likeness," the Mazoku said after he took the picture from Lina and examined it, "It's the latest craze. They're called bromides. Small pictures of people, usually in suggestive positions. And of course the famous Lina Inverse and her companions are the most popular."

"WHAT!?!" Lina now directed her anger at the purple haired man, "You mean that people are making money off of pictures of us?"

"This is truly unjust!" Amelia finally decided to pipe in, "These people are taking advantage of not only us but the people who buy these!" She struck a dramatic pose, which the group had learned to ignore.

"Shut up, Amelia!" Lina blurted out and then turned her fury back to Xelloss, "You mean that people are making money off of my image and I'm not getting paid!"

The rest of the group face-faulted, including Sylphiel who had awakened during the conversation.

Xelloss rubbed the back of his head and gave a nervous grin. "Well it isn't that bad, Lina. There are even pictures of me," he rummaged through his cape and pulled out another piece of paper from a hidden pocket, "What do you think?"

This picture was of Xelloss, wearing nothing but a wide smile and a strategically placed fan. The fan was made of large brightly colored feathers that matched his purple hair perfectly.

"Give you any ideas, Zel?" Xelloss opened his eyes and gazed at the chimera with a look that made Zelgadis ill.

"Other than gagging? None at all, fruitcake," Zelgadis crossed his arms over his chest.

The Mazoku was about to retort but was interrupted when Lina grabbed him by the collar. "I'm going to get the bottom of this," she growled, "Take me to where they're selling these."

"All right! Where's the idiot that's selling these stupid bromide things!" Lina yelled when they arrived at the marketplace.

"There's a shop selling them!" Amelia pointed out.

Lina posed in front of the small rickety table that was covered with piles of the papers. The shopkeeper's eyes grew big started to step away. "Darkness beyond…"

"And there's another one!" Gourry gestured to another stall.

"WHAT!?" Lina shouted.

"I said that they were popular," Xelloss calmly stated, "So a lot of people are selling them."

"Unless you want to destroy the marketplace, there's nothing you can do" Zelgadis said, rolling his eyes.

"Wanna make a bet? I can find the idiot who's painting these and show him a new world of pain!" Lina grabbed Xelloss' arm, "Come on, Xelloss!"

"Why me?" Xelloss asked as Lina dragged him away.

"You knew about these. So you can help me find the person who's making them. I'm bringing out the big guns."

"Oh dear," the group heard the Mazoku sigh as Lina dragged him out of sight.

The rest stood around. "What do we do now?" Sylphiel asked.

"I don't know about all of you but this seems like a nice enough place to stock up. I might just take a look around," Zelgadis said.

"That would be fun!" Amelia chirped.

"That sounds like a good idea," Sylphiel agreed but then looked around, "Gourry dear?" She looked around but the blond had disappeared. "He left?"

"Maybe you can join me and…" Amelia started to say.

"See you all later back at the inn," Zelgadis said as he walked away from the girls.

"I guess just me then," the princess' tone was slightly huffy.

"Don't worry. We can have fun…" Sylphiel looked longingly at the nearest stall that was selling the bromides.

"Yeah," Amelia's voice was distant as she was staring at the same stall. A heartbeat passed by and then both girls ran straight for that stall.

After a long day of shopping, the girls and Xelloss had returned to the inn and were now having dinner.

"Where are those two?" Lina complained, slurping down her soup.

"I guess they're still at the market," Amelia said.

Sylphiel sighed happily. "I saw dear Gourry buying some of those bromides. I wonder who they're of."

"As long as they're not the Prince Phil ones, I'm not going to worry," Lina said as she expertly stole Xelloss' biscuits from his plate.

"Mr. Zelgadis was buying them too!" Amelia got all starry-eyed, "I just know that they're of me!"

"Yeah right," Lina snorted and turned her attention to Sylphiel, "So what makes you think that Gourry bought pictures of you?"

"But dear Gourry…"

Lina interrupted rudely, "Has a slight crush on me. Can't say I blame him. I mean who wouldn't fall for a glamorous gorgeous sorceress like me," Lina sighed, "I'll have to let him down gently."

"Miss Lina! I think you might be wrong about this," Sylphiel protested.

"Yeah right!" Lina stood up with an evil glare in her eyes.

"Well there's one way to find out," Xelloss said. He had remained silent and watched the entire conversation. "You can always sneak into their rooms and take a peek at the bromides they bought."

"Isn't that unjust?" Amelia asked in a small voice

"Well you know the saying, all's fair in love and war," Lina said.

"When they didn't show up for dinner, I had asked the innkeeper and he said that they had stopped by at different times during the day to drop packages off," Sylphiel stated.

"Perhaps you should go get the pictures and bring them down here before looking at them. That way we can unveil the truth for all to see," Xelloss said in a matter-of-fact tone.

The girls barely let Xelloss finish his speech before they sprinted up the stairs. As the Mazoku watched them go, he smirked, thinking that this was going to be interesting.

Just then Gourry and Zelgadis entered the dining room. They sat at the same table as Xelloss. "So where are the others?" Zelgadis asked.

"They'll be coming down shortly," Xelloss said. Zelgadis resisted the urge to pound the smug smirk from his face. Gourry had taken advantage of the fact that Lina wasn't there and was now eating.

The three girls came running down the stairs. "Got them!" Lina yelled as she slammed a flat brown-paper bag onto the table. Amelia just smugly smiled and placed a similar bag on the table.

"What's that?" Zelgadis asked.

"Well the girls spotted you two buying the bromides and were curious about them," Xelloss smiled, "So I figured we'd all play Show and Tell."

"What!?!" Zelgadis yelled. He stood up and stared at the rest of the group in horror.

"Oh geesh Zel, we know that you've got a crush on Amelia," Lina said as she sat down, "As much as I don't want to see pictures of her trying to be sexy, you've got to admit to the truth sometime."

Zelgadis was about to say something when a shaky voice interrupted. "Please Lina. Don't do this."

Everyone looked over to see Gourry. The blond was pale with fright.

"I'm sorry Gourry dear," Sylphiel stated, "But it's about time that we all knew the truth."

"On the count of three," Xelloss paused for dramatic effect, "One…Two…THREE!"

At the same time, Lina and Amelia picked up the bags and turned upside down. One bromide fell out of each back. They both landed in front of Lina and Amelia face-up.

The sound of Amelia's scream drowned out the sound of Sylphiel hitting the floor in yet another faint.

Lina had closed her eyes in nervousness but the screaming caused her to open them. She then started to laugh in relief. In front of her was a picture of Zelgadis. He was sleeping nude with only a sheet pulled up to his chest. One hand held the sheet to his chest. His other arm was tucked under his head, pillowing it. It appeared that the chimera was having a good dream from the content expression on his sleeping face.

The other picture that had landed in front of Amelia was that of Gourry. The swordsman was wearing nothing but a pair of blue shorts. He was sitting Indian-style and had a long-stemmed yellow rose in his hands. He had brought the rose to his nose and was sniffing it. His eyes were closed and his usual cheerful grin was present.

"Gourry? How? Wha?" Zelgadis stammered as his gaze was fixed to the picture of him that Gourry bought.

"Since always. I even felt something when I heard your voice on the other side of that door and you asked Lina to let you buy that statue." The blond looked at the chimera with disbelief and confusion.

"Before that," Zelgadis couldn't believe that he was admitting this, "When Zolf was hunting Lina down, I used magic to track her. But I…I couldn't because all I kept finding was you."

"Zel?" Gourry said as he stood up and stepped over to Zelgadis.

The shaman reached up and pulled Gourry's face to his own. They shared a small sweet kiss. "We need to talk," Gourry decided aloud when the kiss ended.

"We do?" Zelgadis asked in a bewildered tone.

"Yeah, in private," the blond emphasized the last word.

The chimera let off a rare laugh, "Race you then." He stood on tiptoe to kiss the swordsman's cheek and then ran up the stairs. Gourry quickly followed him. He was careful to step over Sylphiel's unconscious form and Amelia who was now on the floor. The princess was in the fetal position and making strange whimpering noises.

The Mazoku and the sorceress had watched the scene in silence. When the men were out of sight, Lina announced, "Pay up!"

"And here I thought you were getting them together out of the goodness of your heart. You're not really going to hold me to that bet…are you?" Xelloss said, a sweat-drop forming.

Lina glared at him and held out her hand. "Oh no! I was right. Those two had the hots for each other. All they needed was a little persuasion. Now quit whining and pay up!"

Xelloss sighed and pulled a small bag out of his cloak. Lina snatched it out of his hand. Pouring the contents into her hand, she nearly drooled at the perfectly clear gemstones. "I always said that diamonds were a girls best friend."

"Hmmm, it's a shame…" Xelloss scrunched up his brow in thought and didn't finish the sentence.

"To let the bromide business fade away even though it's served its purpose," Lina completed the sentence after she ripped her attention away from the diamonds.

"Well it is making a lot of money," the purple-haired man said suggestively.

"Exactly! And I have just the ideas to expand it."

But before Lina could explain her ideas, there was a cracking noise and then a loud crash from over head.

"Was that?"

"Yep."

Lina shrugged, "Oh well, they're paying for their own damages. Now let's get down to business."

~The End~

Dianyx Author Pairing Rating Subject