Akuma 
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Title : Cross My Heart
part 16
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Feedback : yes! Please send it to
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Pairings : 2x1
Rating : Overall....... NC-17
Warning
: yaoi, crossdressing, uhh...angst? ^_^;;;
Disclaimer : GW characters are not
mine.
Notes : I have written this before I wrote Confusion of the Heart,and
I still haven't finished it yet.... so..... expect long chapters *sweatdrops*
Cross My Heart Part 16
The first thing Heero realized when he opened his eyes was a pair of
arms was holding his hand. He blinked for a second, trying to remember what
happened to him while turning his head to see the person holding him. A releaved
heart-shaped face greeted him. "Duo?" Heero croaked in confusion as he noticed
the day had turned into night. What the hell was Duo doing here in his
room?
"You're awake." Duo murmured and kissed the hand in his grips. "How
are you feeling?"
Heero frowned and assessed his condition. His strength
hadn't recovered yet, not even reached 40% and he still felt some parts of his
body throbbed in pain. "Still tired and sore." The Japanese boy felt Duo's grip
tightened at his last word. "Duo?"
"Sorry, Heero." Duo clutched Heero's
hand tightly. "I'm really sorry. You have every right to hate me for what I've
done to you."
"What have you done to me?" Heero was confused.
"That night after the party." Duo swallowed. "I shouldn't have done
that. I really shouldn't have done that!"
Noticing the regret on Duo's
face, Heero felt his heart throb in pain. Duo really didn't want that night to
happen. Was what happened on that night just an influence from the drug? All the
caresses, the kisses.... Duo's whispers of love, Duo possessiveness for him
........ it was all because of the drug? So what happened on the cabin last
night was only his fever indulged dream then? Heero felt his eyes stung and
looked away. The night, that meant everything for him, meant nothing for
Duo...... "I understand." He murmured weakly. "You didn't mean .... what you
said on that night.... .and .. " Heero swallowed, feeling the pain in his heart
increase by ten fold. "......it was the drug that .... made you make love to
me..."
"That's not making love!" Duo angry voice startled Heero. The
Japanese boy turned his head back to Duo and saw the anger in Duo's violet eyes
while the braided boy spat his words. "Don't you ever dare saying that what we
did that night was making love, Heero. Never ever! That'll be the first and last
time I did that thing to you. I never want to do it again! Do you understand
that? That's not a love making!"
"Aa..." Heero felt his throat dry as he
nodded. Every word Duo said stabbed Heero straight in his heart. Duo was angry
with him. Duo didn't want him. Was he so disgusting that Duo didn't want to
think it as making love? Heero felt something fragile inside him break and
closed his eyes, turning his head away from Duo's angry glare. Stupid... how
stupid he was that he thought a soldier like him was loveable.... This time
Heero was unable to prevent his tears from escaping from his closed eyelids.
"Heero?" Duo was startled at Heero's reaction. What had he done wrong
this time? "Heero, why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?"
"No."
Despite the obvious tears rolling down his cheek, Heero wasn't sobbing. His
voice didn't croak though Duo could sense the defeat and pain in that single
word. "I understand now. You didn't mean what you said that night.... You didn't
.... " Heero swallowed and whispered brokenly. "You didn't make love to me. You
only had sex with me..."
"We didn't have sex on that night, damn it!!"
Duo wanted to shout loudly if he didn't remember it would wake up the
dormitory's resident. What was Heero thinking? How could Heero think that the
way he raped and hurt him was a love making or sex. He grabbed Heero's chin,
turning the Japanese boy's face to him, and looked straight into Heero's blue
eyes that had opened in surprise and hurt. "Listen to me Heero. What I have done
to you that night isn't making love and isn't sex either. It's not consensual
and I refuse to think pf it as sex or a love making. Do you understand?!"
"Aa...aa.." If Heero thought Duo's earlier words were like a knife
stabbing in his heart, his current words were slicing his broken heart into
pieces. Not consensual.... Was he so unworthy that Duo felt forced and repulsed
of the act? He still could hear the love words Duo whispered to him. He still
could feel Duo's touch all over his body. Kamisama, were all Duo's words in the
cabin last night just a dream?
It was so cruel....
Heero couldn't
take the pain anymore. Getting stomped by a mobile suit might be less painful
than what he was having right now. He curled up like a baby and hid his face
beneath his arm, trembling violently.
"Heero?" Duo was really worried at
Heero's reaction. What had he done wrong this time? "Heero, what's wrong?" Heero
didn't answered and that made Duo more worried. He leant closer to check the
Japanese boy and caught the broken whisper.
"Duo doesn't love me.... it
wasn't a love making..... Duo doesn't want me..... it wasn't sex....... "
Duo felt like struck by thousands of lightning as Heero repeated the
four sentences over and over. The understanding dawned to him. That night after
the party was Heero's first time. Heero thought it as a love making since he
told his love during the rape. He had stolen Heero's innocence and yet Heero was
still innocence nevertheless. The Japanese boy didn't know it was a rape.
Shit!!! Duo cursed himself again and again. No wonder Heero acted like this. The
Japanese boy thought he denied all what he had done and said to him. Damn it to
the hell!!! At this time, Duo really hated himself most.
"Heero, listen
to me." Duo grabbed Heero's hands and pulled them down to reveal Heero's wet
face. His heart felt broken at the hurt and pain shown on the beautiful face. He
really didn't deserve this angel. All he could do was breaking his heart..... He
had to leave Heero.... but first.... "Heero, listen!" Duo shook Heero a little
to gain his attention. "What I have done to you at that night after the party is
a rape, Heero. Do you hear me? I raped you! I RAPED YOU."
Heero's
stopped trembling and looked at Duo in confusion. "Rape?"
"Yes, I raped
you! I took you without your consent. I forced myself into you. I made you
bleed, I caused you pain, and I cared nothing for your wounds. I'm a bastard!"
Duo spat the words and panted slightly. He looked at Heero's surprised blue eyes
and caressed the Japanese boy cheeks gently. "Don't ever think that I don't love
you." He whispered softly. "I love you Heero. I've loved you from the first time
we met. I want you, but not like that. I never ever wanted to hurt you.
Never......" Duo closed his eyes and felt a tear rolled down on his cheek. "But
I did.... I raped you.... God... I raped the one I love...." Not aware of what
he was doing, Duo leant down and captured Heero's slightly opened mouth. He
kissed the soft flesh gently, softly, and desperately, pouring all his feelings
to one single kiss.
Heero felt his feelings were like a jet coaster at
the moment. One second he felt the most tremendous pain and the next second it
was replaced by happiness. All because a simple 'I love you.' and a kiss from
the one he loved. He cared naught for the others.
He panted slightly when
Duo broke the kiss. He felt the American pilot's thumb caressing his lips as if
they were the most precious thing in the world. Looking up, Heero saw Duo gazing
down at him in regret. "I. Raped. The. Person. I. Love." The braided boy spat
bitterly in self hatred and regret.
Heero's mind was short circuiting at
the complicated feelings he was having in the short time. He was happy because
Duo loved him and at the same time, he was sad because Duo seemed to blame
himself for what happened. His head throbbed in pain as he searched for a way to
end all their misery. Kamisama, he just wanted to be with Duo. Why was it so
hard? The fifteen years old boy inside him was confused, not knowing what to do.
And that's when his soldier side suggested a method.
Reset.
That
wasn't a bad idea. His mind calmed down as he saw the way out of this
complicated situation. Heero took a breath and gingerly sat up, flinching
slightly as some of his muscles protesting at the movement. Duo was there in a
flash to help him. "Heero, you should rest... "
Heero held up his hand,
indicating Duo to stop speaking, and leaned against the headboard. He looked
long at Duo, who looked back at him in confusion. "You raped me." Heero stated
flatly.
Duo flinched and his shoulders sagged. "Yes. If you want to kill
me, just go ahead. I'm destined to be killed by you anyway."
Heero shook
his head. "Forget it."
"What?" Duo's eyes bulged out of his sockets.
"Just forget it." Heero waved his hand dismissively. "I never thought of
it as rape."
"But it was rape, Heero. It's not something you can dismiss
easily." Duo scowled.
"Don't make things more complicated, Duo." Heero
tilted his head. "Do you love me?"
Duo sighed in defeat and leaned back
against the chair. "Yes, yes, and yes! God, I love you so much. If not I
wouldn't be suffering this much!"
"Why did you take Anne as your
girlfriend then?"
"That bitch .. " Duo growled. "I saw you and Mario
kissing. I was heartbroken and she was there, offering herself as your
replacement."
"So you don't love her?"
"Never, I love only you."
Duo sighed. "Only you, Heero Yuy."
Heero felt all his pain disappear
instantly with those words. "Love me then, Duo. Don't just wallow in your
mistakes and ignore me."
"What?" Duo's eyes bulged out again. "You still
want me? After what have I done to you?"
Heero scowled. "I told you to
forget it. What happened happened, you can't change it. Let's just start anew
from here, shall we?"
"But.. I raped you!"
Heero sighed. "You
like being complicated, don't you Duo? Look, I don't think of it as rape. I know
you weren't yourself at that night and yet I still let you have your way with
me. It was painful, yes, but I don't regret it.
"I do." Duo spoke
bitterly. "If I was in my right mind, it wasn't supposed to be painful. I hurt
you, Heero."
"Show me the proper way then."
"HUH?" Duo's eyes
widened for the third time.
"Show me the proper way to make love then."
Heero repeated. "Or do you prefer me to ask someone else to show me?"
"No!" Duo shouted without thinking as an image of someone else taking
his Heero flashed in his mind.
"Then you do it."
Duo chewed his
lower lip. "I.. I don't deserve you...."
Heero closed his eyes and sighed
in defeat. "Why is it so hard to forgive yourself? I forgave you for what you
did without you knowing it, but you don't want to be forgiven. All what happened
to me is not entirely your fault. Anne and Mario had their parts in creating
misunderstandings between us. Now that all the misunderstandings are cleared, I
just want to be with the person I love and love me back. And yet, you won't
grant that simple wish to me."
Silence stretched in the room for some
minutes. Duo didn't say anything and Heero was trying to keep his emotions at
bay. He thought it would be easy to *reset* their relationship but it seemed Duo
was a stubborn bastard. So much to get a hug from the person he loved. Heero was
about to ask Duo to leave when a hand cupped his cheek and caressed it gently.
Heero's eyes flew open and looked at the braided boy.
Duo was smiling
sadly. "You forgive this bastard that easily?"
"Is it so hard to
believe?" Heero murmured dejectedly.
Duo didn't answer. He stood up from
his chair and sat down next to Heero, gathering the Japanese boy into his arms
and lap. "You're happy just with me? You can get a better boy or girl, you know.
Like Relena...."
"I don't love them." Heero snorted. He suddenly blushed
and hid his face between Duo's shoulder and neck. "I love you..."
Duo
chuckled, feeling the weight in his heart gone for the first time in the week.
This was his shy Heero in his arms right now. He would be very stupid to let go
of this innocent angel. "I love you too, Hee-chan. Thank you for giving me the
second chance to love you." He kissed his beloved's forehead gently and hugged
the Japanese boy tighter.
"Love me, Duo." Heero purred and relaxed
against Duo. Finally, they could be together again.
Unknown to Heero and
Duo, white smoke slipped into the room from beneath door. They fell unconscious
seconds after the white smoke entered their nostrils. Five minutes later, Anne
stepped into the room, glaring maliciously at the tangled couple in the bed. So
this was where Duo had gone. She should have known it. She shouldn't waste her
precious time by waiting for the braided boy to come back to his own room. Yuy
bitch, she had managed to get Duo stay with her.
Anne quickly locked the
door behind her back and went toward the unconscious couple. She roughly pushed
Yuy away from Duo and checked the braided boy's pocket. When she found the
microfilm, she grinned triumphantly and pocketed the microfilm. Then she turned
her attention to her rival.
She still had half an hour left before she
had to give the microfilm to Ryoko. It was enough time to torture Yuy to her
delight. This bitch was the one who had ruined her plan and made her life in
danger. Now, she would make the bitch pay for it. Grinning evilly, Anne grabbed
Yuy's hair and pulled the unconscious girl down to the floor by her hair. It
would hurt like hell when the bitch woke up and she was going to love it.
Anne pulled two handcuffs from her pocket and cuffed Yuy's wrists and
ankles. She then put a gag into the girl's mouth. As much as she liked to hear
the bitch screaming, it wouldn't do her good to wake up entire dormitory.
Anyway, looking at the bitch's pain-contorted-face would be a satisfaction for
her.
Finished with her preparation, Anne took the ammonia bottle from her
pocket, opened it, and waved it under Yuy's nose for some seconds before putting
the bottle on the nightstand. Noticing Yuy began to stir, Anne sneered and
kicked the Japanese girl hard.
"HMPH!" Heero jerked up in pain as he
felt the pain explode on his stomach while his head throbbed loudly. His eyes
flew open and saw Anne grinning down on him. What the ...
"Awake,
bitch?" Anne sneered. "Because of you, my plan failed. What's so good about you
as a gundam pilot? You're weak and stupid. I'm ten times better than you."
Heero frowned, not understanding why Anne was angry with him. He tried
to move and realized his ankles and wrists were cuffed. Damn, this wasn't a good
situation for him..... He looked at the bed and saw Duo slumped against the
headboard. "Dummmph!"
"Trying to call your prince charming for help? Not
likely. He's unconscious and won't be awake for several hours." Anne kicked her
rival's stomach once again.
Heero doubled over in pain as his stomach
got another bruise addition. His soldier's instinct kicked in. This was an
enemy. He had to find a way to eliminate this enemy. He was looking around for
some sort of weapons when he felt a foot come down on his head. Anne was
laughing above him, one leg pushed down on Heero's head. She held up some
two-inches-length needles between her fingers and sneered evilly. "This is a
Chinese ancient torture method. Since I'm not allowed to kill you, I'll use
these instead. They won't leave any marks on your body, but they'll hurt like
hell."
Anne attacked.
Heero rolled over, evading the needles and
bumping against Anne's legs. The spy girl wobbled and bumped against the
nightstand. "How dare you!" Anne hissed and pounced on the Japanese pilot. This
time Heero had no time to evade completely and three of the needles made their
way into his forearm's flesh. Anne withdrew the needles with lightning speed,
causing burning like sensation on the injured flesh. Heero jerked up and gasped
in pain into his gag. However before he managed to finish his gasping, Anne
managed to thrust all her five needles into Heero's bottom and pulled them out
as fast as she thrust them in.
"HMPPPH!!" Heero's howl was muffled by
the gag.
"Hurt eh?" Anne giggled cruelly. "It'll hurt much more when I
put them in your breast."
Heero's eyes widened at Anne's words. But
before he could do something, Anne rolled him onto his back and sat down on his
stomach, driving the air from him and trapping his cuffed hand under her bottom.
"Breast torture, I like that." Anne held up her hands, holding the needles
between her fingers. "I guarantee you can't touch your breasts without flinching
for some days after I finish with you, slut." And then Anne brought her hand
down onto her rival's chest.
"UGGGHHNNN." Heero arched up, lifting his
back and Anne as well when his chest exploded in pain.
Anne, on the
other hand, was stunned. When her hands touched Yuy's chest, she expected two
mounts of flesh but instead, her hands met flat chest. She looked at where her
hands rested in disbelief as the realization struck her. No way... no way....
Yuy was..... Anne roughly grabbed Yuy's gown collar and ripped it down, pulling
the needles along with the shredded clothes.
At that time, Anne heard
three different sounds. Her rival's gagged cries, the sound of clothes shredded,
and a snarl.
An enraged snarl.
That was all the warning she got
and the next second she felt a blow on her head. Anne hadn't had time to yelp
when a strong hand caught her neck and lifted her up from where she sat on
Yuy's. Anne gasped when she came face to face with a pair of blazing violet
eyes.
It appeared that when Anne bumped into the nightstand, she knocked
the ammonia bottle down onto the bed. It needed sometime for the smell to reach
Duo's nostril but it did and what those violet eyes saw at the first time they
were opened was the pain expression of his mate. That was enough to set
Shinigami in charge.
"I told you I wouldn't be kind the next time we
met." Duo hissed as he tightened his grip around the spy girl's neck. At the
same time, Anne gasped as her body shook violently. She recognized the symptoms.
Her eyes widened as she realized she had been in the room longer than thirty
minutes. Without mercy or any further delay, her body just melted and then
evaporated. The last thing she had in her mind was .... .
...... there
was no female Gundam pilot......
TBC...
*peeks out of her
turtleshell* is it safe to go out now? *sweatdrops*
Akuma
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