Yeah, I know that is BS. You will never know how many people actually did look at the site.

By the way, (this is the truth) more than 30 people have actually seen this site!

CONTRACT - it took me a long time to write this okay...

Anyone who wishes to be part of this service must abide by the following terms and conditions (may change without notice)

(Then again, I update the news every time I update this so check the news everyday.)

Customers:

1. You must NOT access this website from the school. If you do then I'M STUFFED.

2. You DON'T have to handshake for this contract. Isn't that great? Just using the service signifies your agree-ness. By the way, if you use our service I assume you've seen this. If you haven't well TOO BAD.

3. There are fees you know. A $1.50 unauthorized page viewing free, a 10c short fee, a 30c fat fee, 10c short fee, 0c normal fee, a 50c gay fee, $1 pig fee,30c tight fee (tight fee is for people who do such tight things as: knocking things out of people's mouths, shoving donuts in people's faces, throwing sandwiches at people, believing in creation, etc. You may get discounts if you're cool. Late breaking news: a new fee - small head fee. Ping Pong ball and smaller - $25. All other sizes OKAY.

4. Plus 5c hidden charges

5. Plus 10c/10% interest every week. (Whatever is higher)

6. The service is not available to female teachers, male teachers MAYBE.

7. You have to provide correct and accurate information in the forms. If you don't well then that's just problems for YOU. Remember your IP address is recorded in our servers to protect against any false information. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! If you don't believe that I can get all this info about you, click here to see a sample email. It'll show you the power that I have.

8. Membership/Proof of Purchase cards expire in 7 days at 12am.

9. For those who have been bagged then you are here on THE BLACKLIST. Click on the links down the bottom of the page.

Employees/Members:

1. Yeah employees get paid. Only if you want to though. Maximum pay is 10% of total profit p/week. Of course you get extra privileges if you don't want pay. And you only get paid if you do something. I'll decide. If you think something's unfair, call Consumer Affairs. See if they do anything.

2. Members don't get extensions on their membership card unless the fee of $1 is met. This is the same as buying a new one every week except we don't have to make a new one every time.

3. I'm afraid that we can't employ anyone who more than two hidden fees apply to. For example, the tight fee (30c), the short fee (10c) and the hidden fees (5c). It's just too much hassle.

Others/Teachers

1. If you're a female teacher we clearly disallowed in the on the front page/contract, we're going to have to ask for a $25 compensation fee for the following reasons

   1. Umm... Like making our lives worse than they already are?

   2. For the fear of detention, etc.

   3. Being mean to us and then BEGGING us to make you laugh.

   4. Homework

   5. Well other OBVIOUS reasons which would be insulting/offending/absurd to mention. The nature of this website and business does not attend to that kind of consumers. That's the best I can say it. 

Click to see how I deal with false information you give me.

 © 2002-2003 The xXx Files Inc.

Don't be gay!

Did you know that every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves trying out new sexual positions? If you want positions, click here. (not up yet)