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SUZUKI, CLINTON, AND ANDERSEN
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- It was the first day of school and a new
student named
- Suzuki, the son of a Japanese
businessman, entered the
- fourth grade. The teacher said,
- "Let's begin by reviewing some American
history. Who said
- "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
- She saw a sea of blank faces, except for
Suzuki,
"Patrick Henry, 1775."
He said.
- "Very good! Who said 'Government of the
people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish
- from the earth'?"
- Again, no response except from Suzuki:
- "Abraham Lincoln, 1863", said Suzuki.
The teacher snapped at the class,
- "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki,
who is new to our
- country, knows more about its history
than you do."
- She heard a loud whisper:
- "Screw the Japs."
- "Who said that?" she demanded.
- Suzuki put his hand up.
- "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
- At that point, a student in the back
said,
- "I'm gonna puke."
- The teacher glares and asks
- "All right! Now, who said that?"
- Again, Suzuki says,
- "George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister, 1991."
- Now furious, another student yells,
- "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
- Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his
hand and shouts
- to the teacher,
- "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
- Now with almost a mob hysteria someone
said,
- "You little shit. If you say anything
else, I'll kill you."
- Suzuki frantically yells at the top of
his voice,
- "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
- The teacher fainted. And as the class
gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
- "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"
- and Suzuki said,
- "Arthur Andersen, 2001."
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