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The nights are too hard.

 

Me: kill me now

Her: why?

Me: it's all too much

Her: life?

Me: yeas
Me: that and school
Me: one or the other, i could do, but not this much, not now

Her: i agree

Me: kill me now

Her: no

Me: why not?

Her: id have no one to answer my questions

Me: oh, good enough

Her: plus if anyone was gonna die itd be me..you can get through this..i cant im not strong enough

Me: neither was i
Me: get what i'm saying?

Her: yeah

Me: i've found it's not that anyone is "strong enough"
Me: it's that time passes, whether we like it or not

Her: so im being dragged along and theres nothing i cant do about it?

Me: that's right
Me: supposedly, where you're being dragged is worth the trip
Me: i have my doubts

Her: worth the trip? nothing is worth this hell

Me: somethings, like love, and seeing the light
Me: put it this way: as hard as this is, would you go back to being one of "them"
Me: ?

Her: i guess not
Her: I dont know. they seem pretty happy...

Me: trust me, it's worth it

Her: alright ill hold you to that

Me: you do that

Her: i broke my ass

Me: how?

Her: hockey

Me: how broken?

Her: im not sitting right now it hurts to much

Me: does this mean that you can't play hockey?

Her: no it means I cant sit down

Me: huh

Her: mhmm

Me: not even on an ass pillow

Her: nope..it kills

Me: rough

Her: yeah..im gonna use it as an excuse not to go to school tomorrow

Me: nice

Her: but ill end up going...because i always do

Me: NO don't go

Her: i dont have a choice

Me: says who?

Her: everyone

Me: fuck them

Her: ill get no grade
Her: ive already cut like 5 times

Me: oh
Me: then go, and sleep through class

Her: i do that anyways...but its almost not worth it...its not real sleep..its like the kind where you fall asleep and then like you franticlly wake up and wonder where you are

Me: i hate that

Her: well i dont remember what its like to reallly sweet

Her: *sleep

Me: i used to take tranqualizers for that

Her: i take 2 benadryls and 2 tylanol PMs and then im usually good

Me: damn

Me: why not take simply sleep?

Her: i dont know....this is good

Me: okay

Me: by the way, your profile a few days ago about "a persian bazzar of self help"....nice.

Her: ive been pukeing everyday for the last week and im trying to figure it all out
Her: tuesdays with morrie

Me: is it? huh

Her: yep

Me: you remind me of a young me
Me: that is a compliment i have never given before

Her: well..thanks
Her: so you've been here before then, tell me how to get through another day

Me: shit, that's a tough question.....
Me: can you dull yourself to the pain?

Her: i dont know...i cant really tell what i feel

Me: get through another day any way it looks like you can, like, sleep in class, and when you're not sleeping, read a book, and when you're not doing that get a pass to the can and wander the halls
Me: that's the best i can do for right now
Me: i'll probly be back later

Her: k thanks

Me: bye

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