Question of the Month:
Dear Monty,
I am 98 and a half years old and my dentures just don't want to stay in at night. I have tried everything from double sided tape to extra stick super glue. I have already swallowed three sets of dentures and the doctors think swallowing more will hurt my system. Please Help.
Sincerely,
Toothless in Seattle
Dear Toothless in Seattle,
You are 98 years old? It is not a question of how to keep your dentures in, but a question of life. Die already!!! Don't you think that you have used up your share of this earth's resources? Old Prunes like yourself need to be considerate of other people. Give up your bed to someone smart enough to know that dentures should be taken out at night.
With deep affection,
Monty
**NOTE TO READER**We appologize for Monty's harsh answers. He wasn't the best person for the job, but as he was the only Mooing Monkey to apply for the column, we had to give it to him or we would have faced charges for discriminating against a minority and unfair treatment of animals. Sometimes you have to sacrifice the quality of something to ensure you have done the politically correct thing.
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