What's for lunch tomorrow...chicken necks?

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

I'm Idaho!

I'm feeling happy... AND ANGRY!

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

OW my face is on fire!!

Hi Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!!

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!

I found a moonrock in my nose!

And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life

It's still funny...but not "ha-ha" funny.

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

Bart: Hey Ralph, do u know how to play hide n go seek? [Marge opens closet] AH! Ralph: shhh! ive been here 2 hours, and Bart still hasnt finded me!


Meow...meow...

Look Big Daddy, it's regular daddy!!

When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University!!!

My parents wont allow me to use scissors

RALPH: Goodbye witches... thanks for not eating me!
CHIEF WIGGUM: Yeah, you hags are all right!

When I grow up I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar... I love you, Principal Skinner!

RALPH: I ated the purple berries.
BART: How'd they taste Ralph?
RALPH: Oooo, ahhhhh, they taste like... burrrrning...

Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office.

RALPH: Ms. Hoover, the movie's over.
LISA: Where's Ms. Hoover?
GIRL: Hey, her car is gone.
RALPH: Maybe she drove to the moon.

RALPH: Daddy, when I grow up I wanna be just like you.
CHIEF WIGGUM: Better start eatin' kid.

RALPH: Daddy, these rubber pants are hot.
CHIEF WIGGUM: You wear 'em till you learn, son.

I'm pedaling backwards.

RALPH: My knob tastes funny
TESTING OVERSEER: Please refrain from tasting the knob.

RALPH: Can you open my milk mommy?
MISS HOOVER: I'm not mommy, Ralph, I'm Miss Hoover.

Dear Miss Hoover, you have Lyme disease. We miss you. Kevin is biting me. Come back soon. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.

I dress myself.

RALPH: Mr. Simpson.. the tar fumes are making me dizzy.
HOMER: Yeah.. they'll do that.
Hehe... it says choo-choo choose me... and there's a picture of a train!

Was President Lincoln OK?

SERVANT: Your broth.. Mr. President.
RALPH: I ask for no broth! Away with you lest my cane find your backside!
SERVANT: Umm.. yes.

CHALMERS: Are these children as smart as they look?
PRINCIPAL SKINNER: Well, let's pick one at random... ummmm how about that one?
CHALMERS: You mean this boy here?
SKINNER: Nooo! Lisa Simpson.
CHALMERS: When was the Battle of New Orleans?
LISA: January 8th, 1815. Two weeks after the war ended.
CHALMERS: First rate.
RALPH: What's a battle?

Then the doctor told me both my eyes were lazy. And that's why it was the best summer ever.

RALPH: Lisa!
LISA: Hi Ralph, you were great tonight.
RALPH: Awwww.. thanks.
LISA: I've got something for you.
RALPH: Let's be friends.... it says be and there's a picture of a bee on it!... hehe.
LISA: I thought you'd like it.

RALPH: I am so glad you cho-cho-chosed to come...
LISA: I think you should give that a rest Ralph.

RALPH: At least you guys are my friends... awwww...
CHIEF WIGGUM: Son, I know just how you feel. You've got a great little girl and the world's your oyster.
RALPH: No dad, she made a fool out of me.
CHIEF WIGGUM: Hey! Come to think of it she did. Well, she didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police... now... where did I put my badge? Hey! That duck's got it!... awww... c'mom... give it back...

PRINCIPAL SKINNER: Oh now we're into the dregs... here's Ralph Wiggum's entry. Pre-packaged Star Wars characters still in their display box? Are those the Limited Edition Action Figures?
RALPH: What's a diorama?

KRUSTY: What's your name son?
RALPH: Ralph!
KRUSTY: And is this your girlfriend Ralph?
RALPH: Yes! I love Lisa Simpson and when I grow up I'm going to marry her!
LISA: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids! [trips] Oooooh... I bent my wookie.

Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulders.

When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.

I ate all my caps...owww! [pop!]

Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove.

RALPH: Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
MISS HOOVER: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
RALPH: He was going to the bathroom.

BART: Now is the winter of our discontent.
RALPH: Oh no! Run!

PRINCIPAL SKINNER: And now with a flute up his nose, Ralph Wiggum.
RALPH: *toot*
CHIEF WIGGUM: That's some nice flutin' boy.

Somebody took my juice money.
Ewwww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!
RALPH: What's for lunch tomorrow?
PRODUCER: Next.
RALPH: Chicken necks?

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there.

I heard your dad went in a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

(in a locker with Milhouse) We're a totem pole!

I'm going to live with Underground Grandma!

RALPH: (To a wolf) Will you be my mommy? (Wolf picks him up and carries him off) You're breath smells like dead bunnies...

RALPH: And I want a bike... and... a monkey... and... a friend for the monkey...
HOSEY THE FIRE SAFETY BEAR: But you're not going to start any fires, are you little boy?
Ralph: At my house we call them "Uh-Ohs."

RALPH: My parents won't let me use scissors.
CHILDREN: Hahahahaha!
MISS HOOVER: The children are right to laugh at you Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... owwwww I bit my tongue..

RALPH: Miss Hoover?
MISS HOOVER: Yes, Ralph, what is it?
RALPH: My worm went in my mouth and I then ate it, can I have another one?
MISS HOOVER: No Ralph there aren't anymore. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning.
RALPH: Oh boy Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

SKINNER: And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
RALPH: I'm Idaho!
SKINNER: Yes, of course you are.

RALPH: ... and when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.
MISS HOOVER: Thank you, Ralph. Very graphic.

LISA: Hi, fellaaass.
CHUCK: [after she leaves] Love that chewing gum walk.
RALPH: Veerrrry Wrigley.
[Hoover's class is taking a quiz]
RALPH: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
LISA: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
RALPH: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens.

I'm a dog! [as he spreads his peacock tail]

Oooo, owwww, even my boogers taste spicy!

(After being thrown through a window) I'm a brick!

[Ralph is about to enter a door labeled "adult section]
BART: Uh uh!! You have to be four inches taller to go in the adult section!
RALPH: Ppppllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeee!
BART: Oh okay... But you have to stand on your toes.
[Ralph enters the room]
RALPH: Everybody's hugging!

I dropped my popstickle in your toy chest.

Bushes are nice because they don't have prickers, except when they do, and that one did, owww...

That's where the leprechaun was and he told me to burn things.

I'm a pop sensation!

So, do you... like... stuff?

Go, banana!

Can I walk you home, valentine?


That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!

I think I wet my bed.

(after a rat takes Chief Wiggum's key) The pointy kitty took it!

RALPH: Your hair is tall, and pretty!
MARGE: Why thank you Ralph.
RALPH: [Marge puts her hand on Ralph's shoulder] Help! She's touching my special area!

Wait mister! You're drinking a candle!

RALPH: Prinskipper Skippel... Primdable Skimpsker... I found something!
SKINNER: Ralph, that's your trough blade...
RALPH: And I found it!

Slow down Bart, my legs don't know how to be as long as yours!