missed a page of fine quotes go back
now and then
Teeny: Roberta, truth or dare?
Roberta: Truth.
Teeny: Just how big are your boobs now?
Roberta: Drop dead.
Teeny: She has to say, doesn't she, Sam?
Sam: She doesn't have to say if she doesn't want to.
Teeny: Then can we see them?
Roberta: No, you can't see them!
[Explaining sex to her daughter.]
Chrissy's Mom: All women have a garden, and a garden needs a big hose to water it... or a small hose... as long as it works.
Scott: Uh, Roberta, um... I was just wonderin'... uh... canIkissyou?
Roberta: What are you mumbling?
Scott: Uh, I wanted to know... can I kiss you?
Samantha: As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't.
Chrissy: It makes me look fat.
Teeny: You ARE fat.
Chrissy: I am NOT fat! Am I fat?
Samantha(voice): that was the day that roberta stopped taping her boobs...
She's all that
Dean Sampson: She's an institution. Every girl wants to be her and every guy wants to nail her
Preston: Basically you, with tits
Laney Boggs: Am I a bet? Am I a FUCKING BET?!
Dean Sampson: Is that a no?
Laney Boggs: That's a hell no!
Zach Siler: What was that?
Laney Boggs: I was busy.
Zach Siler: Yeah, busy wiggin'.
Laney Boggs: I did not wig.
Zach Siler: Oh, there was major wiggage.
Laney Boggs: Thank you. For a minute there, I forgot why I avoided places like this and people like you.
Taylor Vaughan: Avoided us? Honey, look around you. To everyone here who matters, you're vapor, you're spam, a waste of perfectly good yearbook space, and nothing's ever gonna change that. Oh, you aren't going to cry are you?
Zach Siler: Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good.
Out cold
Luke: No regrets, that's my motto. Well... that and everyone Wang Chung tonight.
Jenny: I seriously think it's time for you to move on and stop this broken heart stuff.
Rick: Alright. Sooo....you still wanna hook up?
Jenny: You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Rick.
Rick: [pause, in a more sly way] Sooo.....you still wanna hook up?
Rick: You're pretty good with these kids. They seem to like you.
Jenny: Well, I seem to have experience dealing with immature boys.
Rick: Ouch.
AMERICAN PIE!!!! long live stifler!!!
[On being sensitive]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
Victoria 'Vicky': I want it to be the right time, the right place...
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.
Michelle: And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.
Jim: [Choking on his beer.] Excuse me?
Michelle: What, you don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed! So, are we gonna screw soon? 'Cause I'm getting kinda antsy.
Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section", right?
[While looking at a picture of Stifler's mom]
Milf guy 1: Dude that chick's a MILF!
Milf guy 2: What to hell is that?
Milf guy 1: M-I-L-F Mom I'd like to fuck!
Milf guy 2: Yeah dude! Yeah!
American pie 2 yesssss!!!! dildo's for everyone!!!
Stifler: Jim! Can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away!
Stifler: Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls! Wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Jim: I guess I've always been a band geek. I was just never in the band.
Stifler: You're a disgrace to men everywhere. I mean, look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year, and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby.
Oz: Here's a new idea for you Stifler. You find a girl, you two become best friends and you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other you just laugh at the people who do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass!
Stifler: There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!
Michelle: You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
Stifler: Holy shit dude! I found a dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Dildo! Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! The people demand rubber dicks!
Jim: What are you doing?
Stifler: Looking for more lesbian artifacts!
[hands Jim the dildo]
Jim: Where did you get this?
Stifler: Finch's ass!
Stifler: I'm in a lesbian stronghold!
Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one.
Stifler: Jim, you're the only guy I know whose dick needs and instruction manual.
Stifler: [answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stiffler's palace of love...STRAIGHT love.
Stifler: Why don't I give you a spoon?
Jim: Why?
Stifler: So you can eat my ass!
Heather: [On the phone to Oz] Oz what should I do now?
Stifler: [Also on the phone pretending to be Oz] Oh Heather baby! Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's!
Oz: Stifler get off!
Stifler: I am getting off listening to the two of you! Keep going!
Jim: That counted!
Stifler: That totally counted!
Danielle: That's the way to kiss you're mother!
Stifler: [to Finch] DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!
Stifler: He fucking bit me, man!
Finch: You touch me, I bite.
American Wedding (american pie 3)
Steve Stifler: Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand?
[Hits Finch in the groin]
Steve Stifler: Bang-cock!
[At the wedding]
Paul Finch: Grandmotherfucker.
Steve Stifler: Motherfucker.
Paul Finch: [smiling] Yes, I am!
[Kevin and Finch are looking for Jim's grandmother]
Kevin Myers: Guys, what are you doing here?
John: The old bitch sucked, so we ditched her.
Steve Stifler: Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake!
Steve Stifler: I gonna hang out with my wang out! Rock out with my cock out!
Kevin Myers: [raising a glass to toast] Gentlemen, to the next step...
Jim: Oh will you stop with that 'next step' bullshit.
Paul Finch: Put down your glass!
Jim's Dad: Michelle, do you know why they call it "making love"?
Michelle: No, I just call it boning!
Steve Stifler: Dick. 'Fucking hate not hating you!
Paul Finch: I did fuck your mom.
[smiling]
Paul Finch: Twice...
Steve Stifler: Hoo... That's better fucker!
Paul Finch: But, as they say, "We'll always have Paris."
Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
Paul Finch: And the car.
Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs.
Paul Finch: Come on you!
[pulling her to the staircase]
Michelle: Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it! It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time!
Evolution (cause we are so obsessed with 'stifler'
Ira Kane: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
Harry Block: Lingerie.
Ira Kane: Not you, the bird.
Harry Block: Lingerie.
[An alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg]
Harry Block: No, not the leg. Ira, don't let them take my leg.
Nurse Tate: Doctor! It's moving.
Dr. Paulson: It's headed for the testicles.
Harry Block: Take the leg! Please take the leg!
Harry Block: Great googa-mooga!
Wanye Grey: [trying to get the aliens attention] Ka Ka Tukki Tukki.
Harry Block: I think we have established that, "Ka Ka and Tukki Tukki," are not working.
[Wayne starts singing into a microphone.]
Wanye Grey: You are so beautiful to me!
Ira Kane: Harry, move, I'm gonna shoot him.
Harry Block: Stand down! I'm taking him out myself.
(just like steph and bridget when i do something...give the waynes of this world a chance people!!
8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter
Kerry: Your oldest daughter has been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.
Paul: An hour? What is she doing in there?
Kerry: Well we can rule out reading.
Paul: Would somebody like to listen to my announcement?
Kerry: Switched at birth. Please say I was switched at birth.
Rory: Uh, Dad...
Paul: Not now Rory!
Rory: But it's important!
Paul: I said just a minute!
Rory: [opens front door] Well ok...
Paul: Is that Bridget? Is that Bridget driving my car? Without a license?!
Rory: Oh so now you wanna know.
Kerry Hennessy: Two! Four! Six! Eight! These mashed potatoes are really great!
Paul: Hold it, I can see your bra and that sling-shot you're wearing.
Kerry: Must be Casual Sex Day at school.
Bridget: It's a thong.
Paul: It's floss.
Kyle: Hey Bridget, you should wear a bikini to the party and go as "hot."
[Paul has a dream and is in the "Threes Company" house]
Paul: This looks strangely familiar.
Kerry: Don't mess with the middle child!
Paul: One more smart remark like that, young lady, and there will be serious consequences.
Kerry: My life is a consequence.
Kerry: Your oldest daughter has been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.
Paul: An hour? What is she doing in there?
Kerry: Well we can rule out reading.
THE SWEETEST THING!!!!!!!!
Christina: Don't go looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now.
Jane: My body is a movie and your penis is the star!
Christina: I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!
Christina: Ew! What is that?
Courtney: What is what?
Christina: You don't smell that?
Courtney: Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Christina: Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!
Courtney: I don't smell anything!
Christina: It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!
Courtney: Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.
Christina: You did!
Courtney: I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!
Courtney: How could you not know what a glory hole is?!
Christina: Well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockcliff, I don't usually spend much time in men's public bathrooms.
[To little boy sitting in the pew in front of her in church]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Turn around.
[Little boy shakes his head]
Courtney: Look, it's Jesus. Look at Jesus!
Jane: I can't believe I'm fucking a big purple elephant!
Courtney: What you did was incredibly brave. You dropped all your boundaries and you met him half way... shit you met him more than halfway you went all the way to Somerset.
Happy gilmore!!
Shooter: You're in big trouble, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Happy: The price is wrong, bitch!
Happy Gilmore: I'll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
Virginia: Do you always carry a puck with you?
Happy Gilmore: Yeah.
[Virginia shoots puck and scores]
Happy Gilmore: Holy shit. Talk about your all time back-fires.
Happy Gilmore: You're gonna die, clown!
Pleasantville (i'm a big reese witherspoon fan can't u tell??
Jennifer: Can I ask you a question?
David: Sure.
Jennifer: How come I'm still in black and white?
David: What?
Jennifer: I've had ten times as much sex as the rest of these girls, and I still look like this. I mean, they spend an hour in the back seat of some car and all the sudden they're in Technicolor?
David: I don't know. Maybe it's not just the sex.
Skip: I don't know if I ever told you this before, but I think you're just about the keenest girl in the whole school!
Jennifer: Oh, really Skip? The keenest?
[After Mary Sue explains to Betty about sex.]
Betty Parker: Your father would never do anything like that.
Jennifer: Ohhh. Hmm. Well, you know Mom, there are ways to enjoy yourself without Dad.
Jennifer: I did the slut thing, David. It got kinda old.
David: They're happy like this.
Jennifer: No, David. Nobody's happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
All i wanna do!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kirsten dunst!!! yay!!! this is an awesome movie!!!!
Odette: Up your ziggy with a wa-wa brush!
[Browsing an adult catalog.]
Miss McVane: Oh, look, this one has three speeds!
Odette: They think I'll be safe surrounded by high walls and lesbians. This is the end of the world.
Odette: They're just boys Verena, not communists.
Verena Von Stefan: I'm not going to live in the shadow of the hairy bird!
Tinka Parker: Well that's your problem, you're afraid of boys.
Verena Von Stefan: You'd be afraid too except that you have nothing left to lose Ms Tinka!
Tinka Parker: Prude!
Verena Von Stefan: Tramp!
Tweety: Guys, please, have some ravioli!
Tinka Parker: It's what we've always wanted, boys at Ms. Goddards!
Verena Von Stefan: Oh yeah you'd just go out and greet them with open legs!
Odette: Hey now they're going to have to call it Ms. Go-nads!
Tinka Parker: Real life is boy, girl, boy, girl.
Verena Von Stefan: No, real life is boy on top of girl!!! *how true, eh?*
Verena Von Stefan: Coed school will be a nice change.
Odette Sinclair: Excuse us please. You hypocrite. I thought you said you hated boys.
Verena Von Stefan: I've been thinking, perhaps they are like dogs. If we don't take them in, they run wild and are a danger to society.
Verena Von Stefan: No more little white gloves!
Odette: None of your Floppin Buggies.
Go!!
Claire: Gay men are so hot. It's tragic. **soooo true!!!!!**
Marcus: If you were any more white, you would be clear.
Tiny: Her contact lens. it's stuck on the end of my dick
Marcus: Was it hard or soft?
Tiny: What, my dick?
Singh: The contact lens
Ronna: Todd, I would never fuck you like that.
Todd: How would you fuck me?
Malcolm in the middle such a kickass tv show!!!!
Malcolm: This is the world. 196 million square miles. If I covered 100 square miles every hour for the rest of my life, I'd only see half.
[We see Reese's nose]
Malcolm: And this is my brother Reese's left nostril. It squeaks...all night long.
[We see Dewey's feet]
Malcolm: And these are the feet of our little brother Dewey.
[We see a picture of Francis]
Malcolm: This is my favorite bother, Francis. So naturally, my parents sent him off to military school.
[We see Malcolm]
Malcolm: My name is Malcolm. You want to know the best part about childhood? At some point, it stops.
Francis: Okay, I'm going to show you guys the coolest thing you have even seen. Get me some lighter fluid, a waffle iron, and one of Dewey's stuffed animals, the furrier the better.
[Malcolm is unable to talk Reese out of becoming a cheerleader...]
Malcolm: I tried talking to him, I gave him advice, I tried reasoning with him, there's only one thing left to do: Sit back and laugh my ass off!
Lois: Fate is what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over.
Dewey: Is Malcolm a robot?
Reece: Happy thoughts, happy thoughts... Puppies, ice cream, fat people falling over...
Lois: Drink your milk.
Dewey: It's lumpy.
Lois: Then chew it.
[Reese is holding a spoonful of mashed potatoes, aimed at Lois]
Malcolm: [to the camera] It would take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I'll just simplify.
[points to Lois]
Malcolm: Dynamite.
[points to Reese]
Malcolm: Kid with matches.
okay...so u still haven't had enough?? link here, but u might just want to copy and paste it cause it won't let u go thru if u just click on it:
https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/theblondehikaru/moviequotes3.html