I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are... SEASON THREE!!!!

Anne:

Buffy: How did you find me here?
Angel: If I was blind, I would see you.

Cordelia: Where do I hide?"
Xander: "You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity."
Cordelia: "What's the plan?"
Xander: "The vampire attacks you."
Cordelia: "And then what?"
Xander: "The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice."
Buffy: You know, I just... I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm... I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the... sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W... Oh, I just suck at undercover.

Nurse: What are you doing?
Buffy: Breaking into your office and going through your private files.

Buffy: I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share.

Buffy: I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?

Dead man’s Party

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?"
Cordelia: "What's the difference?"
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."

Giles: Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!' Americans."

Xander: Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles.

Xander: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared: not good.

Faith, Hope and Trick

Willow: "I'm giddy."
Oz: "Oh, I like you giddy. Always have."
Freedom: "It's the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal! Heck, it's expected! Wow, it's, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can't just rush into this, you know? Ohh! No, I can't!"
Oz: "You can."
Zander: "See, you are."
Willow: "Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they're lying in wait to arrest me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?"

Xander: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid.

Buffy: "Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles."
Faith: "I see him. If I'd've known they came that young and cute, I would've requested a transfer."
Buffy: "Raise your hand if 'ew'."

Buffy: Angel was cured.
Giles: I'm sorry?
Buffy: When I killed him, Angel was cured. Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um... something went through him... and he was Angel again. He-he didn't remember anything that he'd done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was... it was too late, and I, I had to. So I, I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him. I don't know if that helps with your spell or not, Giles.
Giles: Uh, yes, I, I believe it will.
Willow: I'm sorry.
Buffy: It's okay. I've been holding on to that for so long. Felt good to get it out. I'll see you guys later.
Willow: Giles, I know you don't like me playing with mystical forces, but I can really help with this binding spell.
Giles: There is no spell.

Cordelia: "What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat."
Xander: "Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm."

Buffy: "Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast."
Giles: "You mean 'Kakistos'?"
Buffy: "Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?"

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns."
Giles: Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously."
Buffy: Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?"
Giles: As far as I know, yes."

Beauty and the Beasts:

Giles:"Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic."
Oz: "Just a thought: poker: not your game."
Giles: How long... *exactly* did you...rest your eyes for?
Xander: A little now, uh, a little then. But I never heard Oz leave, and he was here in the morning when I, um...when I...
Giles: WOKE UP!
Xander: You could put it that way if you want to, Mr. Technical.

Homecoming:

Cordelia: What's going on here? Did Scott not ask her to the Homecoming Dance yet?"
Buffy: "Thanks, Cordelia. Humiliation's really good for my color."

Buffy: You really love Xander?
Cordelia: Well, he kinda grows on you, like... a Chia Pet.

Buffy: Long story.
Cordelia: Got hunted.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.

Scott? There you are, honey! Hey, good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment." -Faith, after Scott dumps Buffy before prom and goes with another girl

Buffy: I don't even get why you care about Homecoming when you're doing stuff like this. "Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You couldn't understand. I just thought... Homecoming Queen. I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and... for one moment, I got to live in the world. And there'd be proof. Proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides... I look cute in a tiara.

Band Candy

Giles: 'And on that tragic day, an era came to its inevitable end.' That's all there is. Are you ready?"
Buffy: "Hit me."
Giles: "Which of the following best expresses the theme of the passage? A) Violence breeds violence, B) All things must end, C)..."
Buffy: "'B'. I'm going with 'B'. We haven't had 'B' in forever."
Giles: "This is the SATs, Buffy, not connect-the-dots. Please pay attention. A low score could seriously harm your chances of getting into college."
Buffy: "Gee, thanks. That takes the pressure right off."
Giles: "This isn't meant to be easy, you know. It's a rite of passage."
Buffy: "Well, is it too late to join a tribe where they just pierce something or cut something off?"
Giles: "Buffy, please concentrate."
Buffy: "Hmm. I broke my No. 2 pencil. We'll have to do this again sometime."
Giles: "C) All systems tend towards chaos."

Willow: 'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it.

Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!

Buffy: Giles at sixteen? Less Together Guy, more Bad-Magic-Hates-The-World-Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.

Revelations

Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them.
Cordelia: Excuse me? When your last steady killed half the class, and then your rebound guy sends you a dump-o-gram? It makes a girl shy.
Xander: But we're the best of Buffy's bestest buds. She'd tell us.

Buffy: Synchronized slaying.
Faith: New Olympic category?

Faith: Excuse me, Mary Poppins, but you don't seem to be listening.

Gwendolyn: The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you have become a bit too... American.
Giles: Me?
Buffy: Him?

Giles: That was bracing.
Buffy: Interesting lady. Can we kill her?
Giles: I think the Council might frown upon that.

She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!" -Spike, talking about Drusilla to Willow

Angel: Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!
Spike: Yeah. You're not invited.
Joyce: He's crazy. He'll kill us.
Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don't breathe.
Angel: Joyce, listen to me.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You're a very bad man.
Angel: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me. Angel, why don't you come on in?

Spike: What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. I'm nothing without her.
Buffy: That I'll have to agree with. You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser.
Spike: Yeah. You're one to talk.
Buffy: Meaning?
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Amends:

Jenny: Couldn't you just... feel her? Couldn't you almost smell her skin? You never were a fighter, Angel, don't start trying now. Sooner or later you will drink her.
Angel: I'll never hurt her.
Jenny: You were born to hurt her. Have you learned nothing? As long as you are alive...
Angel: Then I'll die.
Jenny: You don't have the strength to kill yourself.
Angel: I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise.

Angel: Oh, my God...
Buffy: No! No!
Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!
Buffy: What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because...

Gingerbread

Giles (talking to a computer): "Session interrupted? Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad. And I'll say it again."

Giles: Cordelia?"
Cordelia: "Took you long enough to wake up. My hand hurts."
Giles: "Pity. Oh... Why are you here?"
Cordelia: "Things are way out of control, Giles. First the thing at school, and then my mom confiscates all of my black clothes and scented candles. I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious... again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you're gonna wake up in a coma."
Giles: "Wake up in a... Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel." Cordelia: "Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened before I hit you."

Snyder: Just remember, lift a finger against me, and you'll have to answer to MOO.
Buffy: Answer to Moo? Did that sentence just make some sense that I'm not in on?
Snyder: Mothers Opposed to the Occult. A powerful new group.
Buffy: And who came up with that lame name?
Snyder: That would be the founder. I believe you call her Mom.

Helpless:

Buffy: Angel, what if I have lost my power?
Angel: You lived a long time without it. You can do it again.
Buffy: I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.
Angel: Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried.

Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and...and I loved you.
Buffy: Why?
Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too.

Buffy: When I hit him, it felt like my arm was broken, it hurt so much. I can't be just a person. I can't be helpless like that. Giles, please, we have to figure out what's happening to me.
Giles: "It's an organic compound... of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressers. The effect is temporary. You'll be yourself again in a few days.
Buffy: "You?
Giles: "It's a test, Buffy. It's given to the Slayer once she... uh, well, if she reaches her eighteenth birthday. The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. The vampire you were to face... has escaped. His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane. When a vamp...
Buffy: "You bastard. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you didn't say a word!
Giles: "I wanted to.
Buffy: "Liar.
Giles: "In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council.
Giles: "My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.
Buffy: "I can't... I can't hear this.
Giles: "Buffy, please.
Buffy: "Who are you? How could you do this to me?
Giles: "I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand...
Buffy: "If you touch me, I'll kill you.
Giles: "You have to listen to me. Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated. You will be safe now, I promise you. Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik... and to win back your trust...
Buffy: "You stuck a needle in me. You poisoned me!"

Xander: Give you a hand with that, little lady?"
Buffy: "You're loving this far too much."
Xander: "Admit it. Sometimes you just need a big strong man. Uh, Will, gimme a hand with that?"

The Zeppo

"You girls need a lift?"
"What is this?"
"What do you mean, what is it? It's my thing."
"Your thing?"
"My thing!"
"Is this a penis metaphor?"
-Xander, Buffy, and Willow

Buffy: Willow, you okay?
Willow: Yeah, I'm fine. The shaking is a side effect of the fear.
Buffy: I don't know what to do.
Angel: Then let me decide for you. I can face this thing.
Buffy: You can't.
Angel: Look, I, I can at least buy you enough time for Willow's spell to bind it. Buffy, this is worse than anything we've ever faced. It's the only way.
Buffy: I can't watch you die again.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: I love you.
Angel: Nothing can change that. Not even death.

Bad Girls

Faith: "So, what, you're telling me never?!"
Buffy: "Faith! Really, now is not the time!"
Faith: "I'm curious! Never ever?! Come on, really. All this time, and not even once?"
Buffy: "How many times do I have to say it? I have never... done it... with Xander!"

Xander: "Willow, what are these?"
Willow: "They're early admission packets."
Xander: "Harvard... Yale... Wesleyan... Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh... I can't pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? 'Cause I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon."

Wesley: "I didn't get this job because of my looks."
Buffy: "I really, really believe that."

Faith: "New Watcher?"
Buffy: "New Watcher."
Faith: "Screw that."
Buffy: "Now, why didn't I just say that?"

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.

Wesley: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: Preparation... preparation... preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: Yeah? Who's wrong now? Faith, you can shut off all the emotions that you want. But eventually, they're gonna find a body."
"Faith: Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this conversation, and we're not even having it now, you understand me? There is no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist."
Buffy: "Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away."
Faith: "It does for me."
"Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man."
Faith: "No, you don't get it. I don't care!"

Consequences

Cordelia: Check out Giles: The Next Generation. What's your deal?

Wesley: My. She is cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.

Angel: I know what's goin' on with you.
Faith: Join the club. Everybody seems to have a theory.
Angel: Hmm. But I know what it's like to take a life. To feel a future, a world of possibilities, snuffed out by your own hand. I know the power in it. The exhilaration. It was like a drug for me.
Faith: Yeah? Sounds like you need some help. A professional maybe.
Angel: Hmm. A professional couldn't have helped me. It stopped when I got my soul back. My human heart.
Faith: Goody for you. If we're gonna party, let's get on with it. Otherwise, could you let me out of these things?
Angel: Faith, you have a choice. You've tasted something few ever do. I mean, to kill without remorse is to feel like a god.
Faith: Right now, all I feel is a cramp in my wrist, so let me go!
Angel: But you're not a god. You're not much more than a child. Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes MasterCard.

Angel: I'm sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you... Actually, it is that I don't trust you.

Xander: Yeah, but we hung out a little... recently, and she seemed to be, um... responsive."
Buffy: "When did you guys hang out?"
Xander: "Oh, she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home."
Buffy: "And you guys talked?"
Xander:"Not extensively. No."
Buffy: "Then why would you... Oh."

Doppelgangland

Buffy: Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I-I just... Well, I-I wanna do..."
Willow: "Better than Faith?"
Buffy: "So very shallow."
Willow: "Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people.'"

Willow: No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'."
Xander: "She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
Xander: "Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot..."
Willow: "That's Old Yeller."

Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.
Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?
Evil Willow: Xander!"
Xander: "Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you."
Evil Willow: "You're alive!"
Xander: Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don't wanna fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places!"

Buffy: "You wanna go out tonight?"
Willow: "Strangely, I feel like staying at home... and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin."
Buffy: "You know, you can O.D. on virtue."
Willow: "Between me and my evil self, I've got double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that."

Buffy: Willow, you're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D....I.D.
Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: Gimme a Coke.

Anya: Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.
Xander: So, um, in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Oh, yeah. I'm bad.

Enemies:

Buffy: You're right, Faith would never do that.
Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the do-that-girl.
Buffy: Comfort, remember? Comfort here?
Willow: Please, does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Willow: Buffy... Angel. There's no way he would ever do that. You're the only thing in the world to him.

Buffy: Look, I know you only did what I asked. And we, we got what we wanted.
Angel: I never wanted it to go that far.
Buffy: I know that. It's not even a question of that. It's just, after ... I need a little bit of a break. Please.
Angel: You still my girl?
Buffy: Always.

Angel: One thing I learned about Buffy, she's so cute when she's sleeping.

Mayor: Angelus, may I call you Angel?
Angel: Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me master.
Mayor: Ahh. You know Angelus, attitude may get you attention, but courtesy wins respect.

Earshot:

Angel: You don’t have to play games with me Buffy. Ever.
Buffy: Well, you’re not exactly Joe-Here’s-What-I’m-Thinking.
Angel: So ask me.
Buffy: Oh, but that would have made sense.
Angel: What do you want to know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her? Pretending to have no soul? Watching you suffer?
Buffy: Well, since you bring it up.
Angel: I hated hurting you. More than I could stand. Kissing her meant nothing. I don't want a bad girl I've done that before. I've lived a long time Buffy, and I'm past that. I've been with dozens of girls like her. More.
Buffy: Ohh, this honesty stuff is funnn.
Angel: I mean, there's no comparison. In 243 years, I've loved exactly one person.
Buffy: Oh....it is me right?
Angel: Next time, just ask.
Buffy: OK
Angel: And Buffy, be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like, say, immortality?
Angel: Yeah, I'm dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny
Angel: I'm a funny guy.

Willow: The school paper is edging on depressing lately. Have you guys noticed that?
Oz: I don’t know. I usually go straight to the obits.

Willow: What are you doing Buffy?
Buffy: Nothing...checking for horns.

Oz: I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me and I cease to exist. Hmm.

Xander: What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!

Buffy: You had sex with Giles! You had sex with Giles!
Joyce: It was the candy. We were teenagers.
Buffy: On the hood of a police car!?
Joyce: I’ll be downstairs. You feel better.
Buffy: Twice!

[When talking about Cheerleaders]
Xander: They really are very good.
Oz: Their spellings improved.

Buffy: Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, it’s way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right.

Giles: Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure, we could work-out after school, you know, if you’re not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks into a tree.]

Choices

Buffy: So this is our future? I mean, this is how we're gonna spend our nights when I'm 50 and you're... the same age you are now?
Angel: Let's just get you to 50.
Buffy: Liking that plan.

Mayor: So you're the little girl that's been causing me all this trouble. She's pretty, Angel. A little skinny. Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith. Guess you kind of just have strange taste in women.
Angel: Well, what can I say? I like them sane.

Buffy: You, I can't believe you got into Oxford.
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: That's some deep academia there.
Buffy: There's where they make Gileses.
Willow: I know. I can learn and have scones.

Wesley: I don't understand.
Buffy: Well, I don't think I can talk any slower, Wes.

Wesley: But you're a Slayer.
Buffy: Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's... something-ism.

Vampire: What are you doing?
Willow: I'm looking for a sucking candy. 'Cause my mouth gets dry when I'm nervous, or held prisoner against my will. And suddenly I'm thinking "sucking" isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey! Did you get permission to eat the hostage? I don't think so.

Buffy: I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle.
Willow: Mochas?
Buffy: Yes, please.

Wesley: All right, everyone. Monsters, demons, world in peril?
Buffy: I'll betcha they have all that stuff in Illinois.

The prom:

Anya: "You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millenium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them."
Xander: "Then why you talking to me?"
Anya: "I don't have a date for the prom."
Xander: "Well gosh. I wonder why not. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch?"
Anya: "Men are evil. Will you go with me?"
Xander: "One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which."

Oz: "Anya, huh? Interesting choice."
Xander: "Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya or the sock puppet of love for this boy. [Speaking as the sock puppet] 'I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you.'"
Willow: "Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'"
Xander: [Puppet] "'Who's this Anya? Is she prettier than me?'"

Buffy: "Well, at least we all have someone to go with now. Some of us are going with demons, but I think that's a valid lifestyle choice. More importantly, I have the kick dress."
Willow: "Ooh, the pink one?"
Buffy: "Angel's gonna lose it. But not his soul. He's gonna lose it. His it."

Buffy: "So it was blue and sorta short."
Willow: "Not too short, medium. And it had this weird, sorta fringey stuff on its arms."
Giles: "What's that, a demon?"
Buffy: "A prom dress that Will was thinking of getting. Can't you ever get your mind out of the hellmouth?"

Angel: "I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you."
Buffy: "Is this about what the Mayor said? Because he was just trying to shake us up."
Angel: "He was right."
Buffy: "No. No, he wasn't. He's the bad guy."
Angel: "You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you."
Buffy: "I don't care about that."
Angel: "You will. And children."
Buffy: "Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish."
Angel: "Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all, a normal life."
Buffy: "I'll never have a normal life."
Angel: "Right, you'll always be a Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this, this freak show. I didn't mean that."
Buffy: "I'm gonna go."
Angel: "I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this."
Buffy: "Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this? "
Angel: "Have you, rationally?"
Buffy: "No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?"
Angel: "I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart."
Buffy: "Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating!"
Angel: "Don't."
Buffy: "Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you."
Angel: "I don't."
Buffy: "You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me."
Angel: "It doesn't mean that I don't ..."
Buffy: "How am I supposed to stay away from you?"
Angel: "I'm leaving. After the Ascension, after it's finished with the Mayor and Faith. If we survive, I'll go."
Buffy: "Where?"
Angel: "I don't know."
Buffy: "Is this really happening?"

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Buffy: I always say that a patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinking sewers.
Angel: I'm sure I saw him come down here.
Buffy: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We can say he was this big.
Angel: What can I say? I need closure.

Jonathan: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she....um...This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write in ballots and the prom committee asked me to read this. "We're not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you. But that doesn't mean we haven't noticed you. We don't talk about it much, but it's no secret that Sunnydale High isn't really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here."
Student: Zombies!
Student: Hyena people!
Student: Snyder!
Jonathan: "But whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you. Or helped by you at one time or another. We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history. And we know that at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class offers its thanks and gives you, uh... this." It's from all of us. And it has written here, Buffy Summers — Class Protector.

Giles: "You did good work tonight, Buffy."
Buffy: "And I got a little toy surprise."
Giles: "I had no idea that children en masse could be gracious."
Buffy: "Every now and then, people surprise you."
Giles: "Every now and then."

Graduation Day (part 1)

Xander: "Guess who our commencement speaker is?"
Willow: "Siegfried?"
Xander: "No."
Willow: "Roy?"
Xander: "No."
Willow: "One of the tigers?"
Xander: "Come out of the fantasy, Will."

Anya: "So, I was wondering, maybe if you were free this weekend, maybe we could do some entertaining thing."
Xander: "Would that be along the lines of you telling me about all the men you destroyed back in your demon days? Cause pencil me in."
Anya: "Well, we could do something else you like. We could watch sports of some kind."
Xander: "Uh, I don't know."
Anya: "Men like sports. I'm sure of it."
Xander: "Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action move, they eat of the beef, and enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs and that's all you've learned?"

Cordelia: "What's her saga?"
Xander: "She's freaking."
Cordelia: "About what?"
Xander: "The Mayor is going to kill us all during graduation."
Cordelia: "Oh. Are you going to go to fifth period?"
Xander: "I'm thinking I might skip it."
Cordelia: "Me too."
Giles: Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy.
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?
Giles: Both, actually.

Wesley: The Council's orders are to concentrate on...
Buffy: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them.
Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.
Wesley: Giles, talk to her.
Giles: I've nothing to say right now.
Buffy: Wesley, go back to your Council and tell them until the next Slayer comes along, they can close up shop. I'm not working for them anymore.
Wesley: Don't you see what's happening? Faith poisoned Angel to distract you, to keep you out of the Mayor's way and it's working. We need a strategy.
Buffy: I have a strategy. You're not in it.
Wesley: This is mutiny.
Buffy: I like to think of it as graduation.

Oz: "The only way to cure this thing is to drain the blood of a Slayer."
Buffy: "Good."
Xander: "Good? What did I miss?"
Buffy: "No, it's perfect. Angel needs to drain a Slayer, then I'll bring him one."
Willow: "Buffy, if Angel drains Faith's blood, it'll kill her."
Buffy: "Not if she's already dead."

Xander: "I don't mean to play devil's advocate here, but are you sure you're up to this?"
Buffy: "It's time. "
Xander: "We're talking to the death."
Buffy: "I can't play kid games anymore. This is how she wants it."
Xander: "I just don't want to lose you."
Buffy: "I won't get hurt."
Xander: "That's not what I mean."

Wesley: Buffy, they're very firm. We're talking about laws that have existed longer than civilization.
Buffy: I'm talking about watching my lover die. I don't have a clue what you're talking about and I don't care.

Graduation Day (part 2)

Angel: "That puts me back into the game."
Buffy: "Yea, it does. You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?"
Xander: "But I'm still key-guy, right?"
Buffy: "Right."
Xander: "Then Angel, - in his non key-guy capacity, - can work with me."
Angel: "What fun."
Xander: "Hey! Key-guy is still talking..."
Buffy: "Oh, that's good! Start bickering. That's going to look great for us. You guys are like little old ladies!"

Oz: Any change?
Willow: He’s delirious. He thought I was Buffy.
Oz: You too, huh?

Oz: "Guys take a moment to deal with this - we survived."
Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle!"
Oz: "Not the battle, high school. ... We're taking a moment ... and we're done."

Buffy: Faith told me to play on his human weakness.
Willow: Faith told you? Is that before or after you put her in a coma?
Buffy: After.
Willow: Oh.

Buffy: My God. He’s gonna do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil.

Buffy: If someone could just wake me when it’s time to go to college, that’d be great.