(singing) I just luuuuvvv beeeing aaa girrrrllll!!!!!!!
This is my section to where I get to be as feministic as I want...
50 reasons why it’s GREAT to be a girl
1.We can wear guys clothes. If they wear ours, they get funny looks.
2.Our friends dont say hello to us by punching us on the arm.
3.Yea- PMS sucks. But at least we have a good excuse to chow down on chocolate for a week.
4.If we're on a really big ship that happens to hit an iceberg, we'll probably get first dibs on a lifeboat.
5.We get the bigger apartment on Friends.
6. Girl talk. You know, how we just understand each other without having to explain stuff.
7.We never have to stand at a urinal and have other girls stare at us.
8.Dark circles under the eyes? A hickey? We can just cover them up with a little concealer.
9.We dont have to shave our faces. (ouch that must hurt)
10.We can jump around a lot and shake our hair and it looks like we know how to dance.
11.Matt, Seann, Orlando, Paul, Brad, Scott, Ben, Josh. Need i explain this one?
12.We get yummy chocolates and flowers from guys!!
13.We dont have to dowse our food in Tabasco sauce just to look tough.
14.That whole circumcision thing!
15.When we get married we get to keep our own name or choose one that we like even better.
16.We dont have to deal with sideburns. Whats up with those anyway?
17.At least one girl always survives in horror flicks.
18.We never have to wear tighty-whities (or jock straps!)
19.Even if we are ugly we have make-up to fix it!
20.We can take stuffed animals to bed no matter how old we are.
21.We dont have to wear tuxedos to the prom.
22.Nose hair, ear hair, back hair- so not a problem for us.
23.SLUMBER PARTIES!! Guys just dont know how much fun those are.
24.We dont have to worry about getting hurt, um, down there.
25.That special bond we have with our moms- on some days.
26.We dont feel the need to slap our teammates butt when she makes a good play.
27.Nobody makes fun of us for liking BSB or N'sync Well almost nobody.
28.Pick up lines. They're not something we need to practice.
29.We can get away with wearing platform shoes without looking goofy.
30.We give really really good advice.
31.On t.v. shows we're always the ones that have coolest supernatural powers.
32.Dollhouse, Delia's , XOXO, Wet Seal.
33.We can put cotton balls between our toes, paint our nails, and not feel the least bit silly.
34.Daria and Lisa Simpson are girls.
35.Beavis and Butt-Head aren't really that funny.
36.The coolest, sweetest songs and poems have been writen about you.
37.We dont have to sit on our wallets.
38.And our wallets have a place for change.
39.Its entirely possible that we will marry Ben Affleck or Seann William Scott some day.
40.Our lives do not revolve around ESPN Sports Center. (well, maybe not revolve...)
41.We can wear dresses without getting really weird looks from people.
42.Its not required that we learn how to spit when we are young.
43.We are called tomboys, Boys are called girlie.
44.Fiona, Shiri, Kathrine, Majandra, Alanis, Gwen.
45.We have nicer handwriting than guys. Well its true.
46.Our magazines have Horoscopes.
47.We dont have to stuff boxers in our jeans.(How can that be comfortable?)
48.Female pro athletes arent overpaid egomaniacs.(yet)
49.Girls with guy first names (like Joey) sound cool, but it doesnt work the other way around.
50.We look great in tank tops.
God created man first b-cuz you always
make a rough draft B4 a masterpiece.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why is it so difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single
women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the
fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed
and go to the fridge.
A Fairytale For The Assertive Woman Of The 2000's
Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
self assured princess,
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess' lap
and said:
"Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young Prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night,
on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs
seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:
"I don't think so!"
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
quotes from some movies:
Vladimir: She certainly has a mind of her own.
Dimitri: Yeah. I hate that in a woman.
Anya: Men are such babies.