Disclaimer: Not mine, won’t ever be mine, I know. Please don’t sue, I mean no harm.

OBSESSION

*****
As if by magic, I’m drawn to him every time. As if by some old, murky... spell... I always know where he is, how he is, what he’s feeling... I don’t know why, but we’re twined together in some way. I doubt he knows how, or even why, and I doubt that he would care.

He needs me as much as I need him.

I’m treading through dark, unknown waters here. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know what I’m feeling and I can’t tell up from down anymore. All that exists in my life is him. His breaths, his soft skin, his warm body, his hands...

My obsession.

I felt him inside me the moment he entered the club, I felt his mind brush against mine, that familiar tingle in the back of my head that gives me goosebumps. It’s so soothing, that touch, so unlike every other I have ever experienced. So unlike everything I’ve ever felt before...

I left the girl I was dancing with, Kyoko? Keiko? I don’t know and I don’t care. I was heading for the bar where I hoped that he would find me, but he didn’t move from where he was sitting. I don’t know why, it’s usually he who seeks me out in the dark. Perhaps he was waiting for me to go to him? So I did...

The first time we agreed that it was just an experiment, a way of trying to get rid of these unwanted feelings. The second time... The second time I wanted to kill him and myself for allowing this to happen.

The third time I didn’t even pretend that I didn’t want him.

And now... Now this is all I live for – our meetings in the night. This has become my whole life, has swallowed me up and threatened to take over my whole being. If it hasn’t already...

I could never have pictured myself with a man before, and certainly not him, of all people. My enemy, my adversary. He is everything I dare not be – cruel, harsh, a seductive devil... My mirror image, my... No. Just mine.

Always mine.

I would have believed him to feel me before I came up behind him, but he didn’t react until I had wrapped my arms around him, until I had buried my face in his hair. Had drawn a deep breath to feel his scent mingle with my own... Had claimed him in front of everyone.

Yes, always mine...

Then he grabbed my wrists and yanked me down in his lap. And touched me. Gods, how he touched me... Leaving every nerve in my body tingling in pure bliss, the hair in the back of my neck standing on end... Stared at me with his jade eyes, the eyes that are so much like my own, and at the same time not.

We don’t speak, don’t say a word. We don’t have to. We both know how this will end, and I’m already shivering in anticipation for what is bound to happen tonight. His hands are in my hair, on my body and I suddenly crave to taste him, to feel his skin against mine... To mark him as my own, to claim him.

So I kiss him, slowly, gently, without the usual force. Without the usual show of dominance that we all too often are forced to indulge in. This is my way of claiming him, my way of leaving bruises on the inside instead of on his skin. Bruises that will take far longer to heal...

He makes a small moan in the back of his throat, his hand tightening in my hair and the tingle inside me gets stronger as I break off the kiss to press my face wordlessly against him. I’m not usually this forward, it’s always he who has claimed me before, but this time I can’t stop myself. His skin is so soft, so alluring, so... so... The feeling inside me takes my breath away as his mind brushes against mine again, and I feel all the need, all the obsession that led me to him almost every night, lashed back at me, thrown into my face.

What do I feel for him? Time and time again have I asked myself that, and time and time again I have been denied the answer. The only thing I do know is that I feel – that I am alive when he weaves his mind together with mine, when we move together in a rhythm as old as mankind, when we touch...

The wordless need washes over me again, makes me shiver and groan as I shift about in his arms, my legs now hooked on either side of him, his hands gripping my hips hard enough to leave bruises before loosening up a little. I press against him, my face still buried against his neck, his face pressed against mine as we just breathe, allow ourselves to just feel.

I don’t want to move, I don’t ever want to leave this place, this moment... I want this to last forever, so that in a thousand years, people can pass us and stare, and see where obsession can lead. That it truly can stop time...

There are no happy endings for people like us. Nothing to really take away that harsh reality for more than a few hours, but sometimes... Sometimes, a few hours might be enough.

And once upon a time it was.

But not anymore. Not when I wake up in the middle of the night, my body and my mind screaming for him, the need for him churning inside like acid. No. Not anymore.

Not ever again...

He is whispering my name, chanting it in my ear just loud enough for me to hear it. Seducing me with the warm breath that flickers against my skin and I shiver again. Does he know what he’s doing to me? Does he care? Would he care if I told him?

I don’t know. And I don’t care.

My hands shift from around his neck to slide down his arms, capturing his hands and twining our fingers together. He lifts his head from my neck, his green eyes so clear that I can see my reflection in them in the erratic flashing of the spotlights. See my hunger and my need echoed in him...

I lean my forehead against his, closing my eyes as our breaths mingle again. I want to taste him again, I want to have all he can offer and more... I want him.

So I take him.

My lips press against his again, my tongue slipping into his mouth to battle with his, still the same gentle, trusting motions as just a moment ago. He tilts his head to the side and I drink up the soft moan he utters again as I shiver and try to make him go deeper inside me, deeper inside my mind, to see what he is to me. My obsession.

Yes, always my obsession...







*****
End Part II