By VidalenaZ
"A letter for you sir, from Duo Maxwell." The young secretary smiled shyly at her handsome 19-year-old boss. Only three years younger than him, this was her first job, and she was proud to tell people she worked right by the owner of the Winner foundation. When she first got the job, she'd expected Quatre Winner to be an old man, hunched over and ordering her to do senseless services. Instead she found him to be incredibly kind, incredibly cute, and incredibly available.
Quatre looked up, raising his eyebrows. "Duo? I haven't heard from him in years." He reached out, taking the letter and looking at the scrawl on front. "Thank you Patricia," he said without looking up. Patricia tilted her head, about to ask who Duo was, then shrugged as her boss searched his top drawer for a letter opener, apparently oblivious to her presence. Twirling on her heel, she turned and walked out the door, the sound of tearing paper behind her.
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Wufei leaned against his mailbox, looking at the one letter he had pulled out of it, already surprised at the simple fact that anyone had sent him something. The Chinese man was usually left alone. His surprise only deepened when he saw whom it was from. "Maxwell?" he wondered out loud, turning to return to his small, white house. "How did that baka find my address?"
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Catherine sat at the kitchen table across from her brother, shifting through the mail. "Bills, bills, bills," she complained. "Oh! And here's something for you. From Duo. Isn't he that braided boy who fought in the war with you?"
Trowa nodded, putting his coffee cup on the table and reaching for the envelope. He turned it over slowly, studying it. Duo's handwriting hadn't improved. "Are you going to read it, or just look at it?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at Catherine, before carefully tearing it open.
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Heero glared at the blinking light on his laptop informing him of his new e-mail. He recognized the address as Duo's. "Why is that bakayarou e-mailing me?" he muttered. "I thought I made it perfectly clear that I didn't want to hear from him again." He considered just deleting it, his hand hovering over the button for a few seconds. Finally he sighed, looking out the window of the airplane he was riding in. He might as well read it. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do. Shaking his head slightly, he turned back to the laptop and clicked open the new message.
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Hey guys,
Duo here, as anyone who checked the return address before opening this letter (or e-mail) would know. Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, it's been awhile. Since the war ended. Haven't heard from you guys. Wonder what you're up to. If I close my eyes I can almost see it. Quatre's working hard as the head honcho of the Winner foundation. You probably don't leave that desk often. I pity you, really I do. Get out occasionally, okay? Trowa's no doubt still with the circus, traveling around, seeing new places, keeping his skills intact. Sounds like fun. Just don't let your sister ever hold you down. If she's as protective as I remember her being, I imagine that could be a problem. Wufei's probably isolated himself. You always did like being alone. Just make some friends, if you haven't already. Oh yeah, and keep them. Trust me, you miss them when they're gone. Heero on the other hand, well, it's only been a few days since I've seen him, and he's probably on a plane, trying to get as far away from me as possible. Or as close to Relena. Depends.
Earth's beautiful, yah' know. Yeah, that's a quick change of subject, but it is. Here I am, writing a letter in the middle of a park. I'm sitting on a bench carved of stone in the shade of several large trees. There's green grass surrounding me. Only place there isn't any is on the brick pathway that curves by me, then off into the distance. Beyond the path, directly before me, is a gorgeous blue-green lake. There are ducks. Lots of them. Some on the lake, some on the shore, some in the sky, and some just lifting off of the lake to enter the sky, flapping like crazy. Beyond them, the sun is setting, an insanity of blues, violets, reds, oranges, and other colors. It's great, really it is.
Unfortunately, it also means I have to write quick or I'll have to finish this at home. I may be Shinagami, but I still need to have light to write. I guess it wouldn't really matter, considering the fact that I'm planning on typing this up anyhow, but still. I don't want to leave the park. That'll just take me a few steps closer. "Home" has too many bad memories anyway. I'd rather sit here for awhile. Watch the sun leave, and the stars come. Listen to the ducks. Not that they sound all that nice, but still. It's something. Only sound at home is the ticking of that clock, and it is really starting to bug me. I swear, it gets louder every day.
Anyway. I just wanted to kind of check up on you guys. You may not know it, but you guys have been the best friends I've ever had. Yes, even you Wufei. And you're still alive. Considering my past, that's certainly an achievement. You guys should live for a long time. And not just in the physical sense. I mean live your lives, while you still have them. All too often you don't have them long enough. Sometimes, they just last too long.
Happiness isn't an easy mask to keep up yah' know. Especially not for years. I'm sure it's a lot easier to be sad, or just emotionless. It's impossible to actually be emotionless, but I'm sure it's not that difficult of a mask. People probably look at you strange a lot. Either that or they're wildly attracted by your lack of charms. It's seems the second is true more often then you'd think it would be. Maybe they can actually see that that's not who you are. Maybe they can see your inner pain and want to help. That's probably it. Guess it's not that good of a mask after all. Not if you really want to hide yourself. But I guess help is good. Most of the time.
Don't get me wrong. Happiness is a good mask. People like what they see. They may not like you, as in the actual person, but they like what they see. You make lots of superficial friends. And maybe you sometimes help people. I like to think so. And no one ever seems to actually see you. So yeah, it is a good mask. All I'm saying is it's not easy.
Don't use masks though. Not even happiness ones. They just eat away at you. Then when you try to show your "friends" your true self, you end up scaring them away. Better to be yourself. It hurts less if you scare people away before getting to know them then after years together. After years, you start to think that people really are your friends and you get to trust them. Definitely hurts more if you let down the mask then instead of never having the mask in the first place. At least, I assume it would be. And you know what they say about the word assume.
I guess people just want other people around them who will cheer them up, not bring them down. I tried to be the first, but it's hard to always keep that mask in place.
Sorry, I've started babbling, which isn't good considering the fact that I keep losing light. I still haven't said what I wanted to say, and it's almost dark. Guess I better get to the point. I'm not going to ask you guys to come and see me. You probably wouldn't come anyway. Well, Quatre probably would, if he could work it into his busy schedule, and Trowa might. I doubt Wufei would. As for Heero, well, I'm surprised if he actually bothered opening this e-mail. Thanks if you did. Means a lot to me. But anyway, I'm not asking you guys to come, and if you do, well, I won't be here. I guess that's the point I'm trying to make. I won't be here, or anywhere for that matter. Not after tonight. Guess that's part of the reason I don't want to go home. Few steps closer. I'll get your letters in the mail first, of course. I want you guys to get these. Know that it's not the fault of any of you. It's no one's fault. I'm just tired. Tired of being happy. Tired of the mask. Tired of the memories. Tired of being alone even when surrounded by people. Physically and mentally tired. I really want to sleep. Shinigami's time is over anyway. It ended with the war. Guess there's just one more life to take.
I meant it when I said that you guys were the best friends I've ever had. The closest I've felt to actually being happy in the last 12 years was when I was with you. I guess I wanted to thank you for that. Always remember what I said. Live your lives, and don't let masks destroy you. Quatre, I know your job is important, but don't let it be your life. Get out and enjoy yourself sometimes. Trowa, I'm sure the circus is fun, but don't just perform for other people. Sometimes do something just for you too. Actually look around the cities you travel to. Don't just be there. BE there. Wufei, what can I say that I haven't already said? I know you like being alone, and that's okay. But occasionally, be with other people too. The company of others is worth a lot more than you seem to think it is. And Heero. Well, I hope that Relena can give you what you're looking for. I know you didn't want me to contact you again, but hey, I can guarantee that I won't ever bother you again. Be happy. At least try to be.
I guess that's all I have to say. Just in time too. I can barely see the paper anymore. The stars are coming out though, and they're beautiful. I guess I'll watch them for awhile; I don't want to go home just yet. Thanks for reading, guys, and remember what I said. I meant everything.
Shinigami, signing out.
Duo Maxwell
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Quatre clutched the paper tightly in his hands, wrinkling it, as he read the last few lines, tears freely falling down his face. 'I... I have to call him. Maybe he hasn't done it yet.' Quatre opened several drawers, randomly. 'I know he gave me his number once. I should have used it.' Coming slightly to his senses, he reached out and buzzed his secretary. "Patricia? Can you find me Duo Maxwell's phone number?"
"Yes, sir." A few minutes later the 16-year-old entered the office of a distraught Quatre. "All you okay sir?"
"Yes, I'm fine." His voice had an unusual bite to it. "Do you have the number?"
"Yes sir," she answered, handing him a post-it note with a number written on it. "Do you need anything else?"
"No." He immediately turned to his phone, pressing the buttons.
"Um, okay." Patricia left quickly, confused by his unusual behavior but deciding not to question it.
Quatre listened to the rings of the phone, counting.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11...
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Wufei, who had remained standing through most of the letter, was now slumped against the wall. "Maxwell," he growled. "Was it that bad? Were you so weak?" He banged his fist against the wall behind him. He looked back at the papers, which had drifted from his lax hands to the floor. "You idiot," he whispered, his anger draining away as he buried his face in his hands. "How could you?"
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"Trowa!" Catherine yelled. He had been drinking his coffee while reading the letter, but sometime into it, the coffee had been forgotten. Near the end his hand fell to his side, resulting in coffee spilling across the floor. Catherine quickly grabbed some paper towels and began mopping it up, taking time to pry the coffee cup from his clenched fist and place it on the table. Trowa simply continued gaping at the paper, his eyes wide. Throwing away the mess, Catherine returned to the table, leaning on it and pulling down the letter, away from Trowa's face. "Is something wrong?" Trowa just stared at her, slowly shaking his head back and forth.
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Heero slowly closed the laptop and turned to look out the window. The buildings around them grew larger as they descended into the Sanc kingdom, but he didn't see them. All he could see was the chestnut hair and violet eyes he left behind. Unnoticed to the other people on the plane, a tiny drop of moisture fell from Heero Yuy's chin to his pant leg, leaving a circular mark where it landed.
