by Kittifox and V-Babe
by Kittifox and V-Babe
A/N: Kittifox did Lizardman’s lines, V-Babe did Astaroth’s.
*Lizardman and Astaroth are in a sparring match*
Lizardman: *stabs Astaroth in the foot several times* How’s that?
Astaroth: That can’t be fair!
Lizardman: Ah, shut up, you big baby!
Astaroth: *swings axe* SAY THAT AGAIN, WORM!
Lizardman: *ducks* I said you’re a baby!
Astaroth: Oh, so you really want to die that badly? Take this! *spins around several times with his axe stretched out*
Lizardman: *jump, jump, jump* Come on, I was skipping rope since I was ten!
Astaroth: How can that be? You’re only 7!
Lizardman: Well, unlike you, I sorta had a LIFE before I became a monstrosity!
Astaroth: Monstrosity? I’ll make you eat those words! Die, worm! *swings axe again*
Lizardman: Yeah, monstrosity! Dude, your heart is on the OUTSIDE! That’s not normal!
Astaroth: And I suppose being a huge ugly reptile with bad breath is normal! Sheesh, have a tic-tac! *throws container of tic-tacs into Lizardman’s mouth* Worm!
Lizardman: Tasty. At least all my organs are in the right place!
Astaroth: Well, why don’t we find out? All we’d have to do is cut you open and take a look! *swings axe*
Lizardman: *dodge*
Astaroth: Quit dodging, you freak!
Lizardman: Oooh, freak! Tell me, when did your vocabulary reach double digits?
Astaroth: Vocabu-what…eeeh…shut up, worm!
Lizardman: Actually, out of the two of us I think you more resemble an invertebrate.
Astaroth: Inverte…STOP THAT!!!!
Lizardman: Well, you should have finished fifth grade!
Astaroth: MY MISSION IS SOLELY TO KILL AND FIND SOUL EDGE FOR PALAGEA THE EXECUTIONER!!!! ARE YOU THAT ANXIOUS TO BE MY NEXT VICTIM????
Lizardman: We ARE on the same team, you realize!
Astaroth: Since when?
Lizardman: Kunpaetku made ME, too!
Astaroth: But he likes ME better!
Lizardman: No, I asked him. I’M his favorite!
Astaroth: HE DID NOT SAY THAT!
Lizardman: Yes he did! He mentioned it when you were trying to make orange juice on your head!
Astaroth: I DID NOT TRY TO MAKE ORANGE JUICE ON MY HEAD!! Well….there was that one time…but that was the just the one time! The rest of my time…I KILL!!!
Lizardman: Yeah, you established that several times…which is why I’m still Kunpaetku’s favorite!
Astaroth: If you’re his favorite, then did he send ME after Soul Edge, hmmm?
Lizardman: He sent me too, you twit!
Astaroth: Do you really want to die that badly?
Lizardman: Three. That’s THREE times you’ve said that!
Astaroth: I haven’t said it three times! I’ve said it one…*holds up one finger, looks at it, holds up next finger*…I’ve said it…I’ve said it…*thrusts fingers in Lizardman’s direction*…THIS MANY TIMES!!!
Lizardman: Maybe I gave you too much credit when I said “fifth grade”…
Astaroth: That’s it! It will rain blood today! *attacks Lizardman*
Lizardman: *guards*
Astaroth: It won’t be so easy this time!
Lizardman: *suddenly worried* Hey, what were we supposed to be doing again today?
Astaroth: Uh….I dunno…
Lizardman: Wasn’t it important?
Astaroth: Like what?
Lizardman: Some errand to run, I think…
Astaroth: *eager smirk* Does it involve killing?
Lizardman: No, I think it involved embarrassing personal hygiene products.
Astaroth: What’s hygiene?
Kunpaetku: Lizardman! Astaroth! Where’s my pizza?
Astaroth: Ummm…we’re on it! *Lizardman and Astaroth run for pizza* Embarrassing personal hygiene products, huh?
Kunpaetku: Get me some shaving cream and some soap while you’re at it!
Astaroth: SOAP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Lizardman: Oh, boy, you’re pathetic…
The End
