DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion 
are not mine.  I make no claim to them.  They are used without 
permission.

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" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics (emphasis)

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Angels of Armageddon
Author: Ryan Xavier
Chapter 3: Calm Before the Storm


Ritsuko Akagi walked quickly, heading out towards the site where, even 
now, she could see Unit-00.  The sun glinted off of the blue armor, 
making its monstrous form almost blinding.  The machine was frozen in a 
crouching position just outside of the camp, awaiting their arrival.

Behind her, the two former pilots, Shinji and Asuka, were trying to put 
some semblance of order back into the encampment.  The appearance of 
the Eva had, understandably, caused most of them to panic.  Now it 
needed to be explained that the machine out there was, in fact, on 
their side. 

Ritsuko was sure that those two could handle the problem.  Shinji and 
Asuka had proven to be very effective leaders, even if they themselves 
didn't believe it.  Asuka had always been good at getting people to pay 
attention to her, and Shinji...well, he _was_ related to Gendo Ikari.

Akagi's stride retained the confidence she'd had back before Third 
Impact.  That hadn't been the case back when she'd first returned, but 
with time, her old self-assuredness had finally come back.  Of course, 
she hadn't been able to do it alone...

"So what do you think, Maya?" she asked the woman walking next to her.

"It's hard to believe, all right...but it looks like they did it, one 
way or another."

"Yes..."

"Something wrong, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, using her preferred nickname 
for her old teacher.

Ritsuko shook her head.  "No, it's nothing.  Let's just get there."

Maya looked at her suspiciously, but then mentally shrugged and sped 
up, moving towards the Eva.

Ritsuko tried to keep her thoughts on technical matters, like how 
Nagisa and Ayanami had been able to find materials to make an _Eva_ of 
all things.  But her mind kept wandering over to what was still 
disturbing her.

Rei.  The girl had come back.  Akagi hadn't seen the girl with her own 
eyes yet, but Maya had, and she said that it was definitely Rei.

^Why?^ Akagi thought, looking at her feet.  ^Why'd you come back, Rei?  
_How_ did you come back?^

The girl's face appeared in Ritsuko's mind.  She shook her head, trying 
to clear it.  But all that accomplished was giving her another image.

The image of dozens of Reis falling apart.

Akagi stopped, slamming her eyes shut as she tried to collect herself.  
She balled her hands into fists and shook with the effort of clearing 
her mind again.

"Ritsuko?" Maya asked, coming up and lightly touching Akagi on the arm.

Ritsuko opened her eyes and forced herself to smile.  "It's okay," she 
said, starting back towards the Eva.  Maya stayed put.

"You don't have to see her if you don't want," Maya said from behind 
her.  "I could go meet them, you know.  You taught me enough about Evas 
that I could see how they did it."

Ritsuko stopped again and looked over her shoulder, at Maya.  She 
smiled again, this time more genuinely.  So Maya knew what was wrong.  
It figured.

"No, I'll do it," Ritsuko said.  "Otherwise I'll just be avoiding her 
all the time.  I should just get it over with now."  

^Wish I had a cigarette, though...it might calm me down a 
_little_...hell, even a cup of coffee might do it.^

Maya nodded and came back alongside Ritsuko.  They walked the rest of 
the way without speaking, the only sound coming from the crunch of dirt 
and rocks under their shoes.

"I'll be here if you need me," Maya said, quietly.

Ritsuko glanced in Maya's direction.  The younger woman looked calm, 
but worry was etched in her face around her eyes and mouth.

Ritsuko wanted to say, 'Thanks, but I'll be fine,' or some other such 
thing, but instead found herself saying, "Thanks...I might need it."

Maya didn't get a chance to respond, for at that moment they had 
stopped at the foot of the Eva.

Kaoru sat on its shoulder, staring off towards the camp, seemingly 
oblivious to their presence.  His legs dangled over the edge of the 
shoulder, swinging in the air like a small child's.

"Impressive, eh?" he asked, offhandedly.

"Yes it is, Nagisa-san," Maya said.  "Could you come down, now?  We 
need to talk to you."

"Of course."  With that, the Eva's hand came up to lower him down.

"What would you like to talk about?" came another voice, this one  from 
ground level.

Akagi and Maya both turned to see the new arrival.  Akagi had 
recognized the voice instantly, but it still made her stomach lurch to 
see Rei Ayanami face-to-face again.

Even though Akagi knew the girl had just returned yesterday, Rei 
_looked_ as though she'd aged two years.  It was disturbing, to see how 
much Rei had physically changed, especially when the last memory Akagi 
had of her was when the girl had been 15.  She looked so different from 
what Akagi remembered...

Rei clones floating in the tank.

...but at the same time, she also even more closely resembled someone 
else Akagi remembered.  Only through extreme self-control was Akagi 
able to keep from shuddering openly.

"Hello, Dr. Akagi," Rei said, her eyes studying Ritsuko's face 
intently.  Ritsuko flinched, despite her efforts to prevent that 
reaction.

^I pushed the button.  I watched them disintegrate.  And...damn me, I 
_liked_ it.^

"Welcome back, Rei," Akagi said, nodding stiffly.

^Which of them did I want to kill more, anyway?^ she asked herself.  
^The girl made to replace someone long dead, or the man who did it?^

Rei studied Akagi's face.  Her gaze seemed to bore straight into 
Ritsuko's soul, seeing everything Akagi was trying so very hard to 
hide.

Life had just gotten _much_ harder for the former NERV scientist.

* * *

Against her better judgement, Maya left Ritsuko alone with Rei.  She 
could tell just by looking that Ritsuko was quite shaken.  But Nagisa 
was stepping off of of Eva-00's hand, and he might only complicate 
matters for Ritsuko.

As Maya got a better look at him, she could see Nagisa had aged the 
appropriate amount, now looking like he was in his late teens.

"Alright," Nagisa said, clapping his hands together to try and break 
the uncomfortable silence.  "What did you want to know, Akagi-san?"

Maya tried to answer for him, since she could still see Ritsuko was 
trying to get a grip on herself, seeing Rei again.  But Ritsuko, glad 
for the interruption, turned at the boy's voice.

"Well..." Akagi said, quickly glancing over the mecha.  "It seems the 
Eva's functional, and in good repair.  Where did you get materials for 
this?"

"We stimulated one of the Mass-Production Evas, of course," Kaoru 
explained, as though it were something he did every day.

"But how?  I know the designs of those things."  She started walking a 
large loop around the machine.  "After they hit their maximum S2 output 
during Third Impact, they should have been rendered completely 
useless."

^That's right,^ Ritsuko chided herself.  ^Get lost in work so you don't 
have to think about your life.  Why don't you just go find some more 
cats?^

"Well...I believe Rei can explain this better," Kaoru said.  "I can 
handle its body, but she was the one who really brought the Eva back."

Ritsuko froze.  She glanced over at Kaoru, then slowly shifted her gaze 
back around to Rei.  The girl looked back, meeting her gaze 
dispassionately.

Ritsuko thought it over.  Here was a chance to get past what she'd just 
been yelling at herself for.  But, it was so hard looking at Rei, 
now...

"Really?" Ritsuko asked.  "Care..." - she swallowed and took a breath - 
"...care to explain how, Rei?"  There, she'd said it.

The girl nodded.  Ritsuko gestured for Rei to follow, as she kept going 
in a slow circle around the Eva, looking up to try and take in the 
sight of the massive machine.  Rei followed obediently.  After a few 
tense moments, the soft sound of their voices could be heard, as Rei 
explained what she'd done.

Kaoru walked over to Maya and stood next to her, keeping his hands in 
his pockets and grinning slightly.  Out of the corner of his eye, he 
could see how Maya's eyebrows were raised in worry over her old 
teacher.

"So how long ago did you come back, Ibuki-san?" Kaoru started abruptly, 
trying to get the woman's attention onto something else.

Maya looked back to Kaoru, pausing before responding.  "About a year.  
Semp...excuse me...Ritsuko-san really only came back a few months ago.  
We were starting to wonder if she ever would."

"Hm," Kaoru said, looking up at the Eva at the same time as Maya.  "So 
do you have anything you'd like to ask?" he inquired.

Maya smiled.  "Well...Ritsuko-san's going to be taking care of the 
technical details, I'm sure.  But, honestly...what can you _do_ with 
it, anyway?"

Kaoru's smile turned into a frown.  "Well...I had intended to use its 
AT field as a tool to help shape some of these larger pieces of debris 
into something useful.  But it seems I don't have the control I used to 
have.  I can't even take advantage of its full physical strength.  But, 
I'm able to put it through coarse movements, like walking and moving 
its limbs."

"I guess it's better than nothing..." Maya mumbled, making a mental 
note about what Unit-00 could be used for.

"You don't sound convinced."

"Well...you make it sound as though it's really restricted."

"It is."

"But...then, why use it?  Not everyone's willing to accept an Eva.  If 
there's so much in the way, we could be better off just working with 
what we already had."

Kaoru smiled again.  "Maybe a demonstration's in order.  Rei and I were 
going to use it for this, anyway..."

"What...?" Maya asked, turning to look at him.  She turned back to the 
Eva, however, when she heard it begin to move.

Maya took several steps backwards as the Eva came to life.  The sound 
of powerful machinery starting up sounded from within its torso, as the 
mecha raised its head, then stood to its full height.  It turned and 
began to walk.  The shockwave from its first footstep almost made Maya 
and Ritsuko lose their balance, but they caught themselves before they 
could fall.

Kaoru watched, reveling in the rush that came with synchronizing with 
an Eva.  It wasn't nearly as strong as it had been when he'd done this 
with Unit-02, but it was better than nothing.

Maya and Rei both watched with mildly intrigued looks on their faces, 
watching every move the Eva made to try and ascertain its abilities.

Akagi, however, was taking a few steps backwards, almost unable to 
control her body anymore.  Eva-00 was almost as bad as Rei when it came 
to reminding her of things she wanted to forget.  Watching that thing 
move, apparently without a pilot, was almost like watching it go 
berserk in slow motion.  She hated to admit it to herself, but she was 
waiting for it to turn around and start killing them all.

The Eva approached a nearby rock.  Maya recognized that it had once 
been a part of a large building's foundation.  But that building had 
been levelled some time after Second Impact.  And Third Impact's 
explosion had turned the very earth inside-out in a few places, digging 
up this long-forgotten chunk of rock.

The slab was easily the size of a small parking lot, made of solid, 
super-compressed concrete.  The Eva got a grip on it, however, and 
lifted, moving it almost instantly.

The Eva shuddered under the effort, but still successfully dragged the 
slab over to another upheaved portion of a foundation and deposited it 
there, making a huge arch.  It immediately began moving again, heading 
off and beginning to move various chunks of debris over to one side of 
the arch.

"I suppose it will have to do for now," Kaoru said, watching.  He 
glanced over at Rei, as the Eva kept working.

"What do you think of our new home?" he asked the blue-haired girl.  
Rei looked at him, a questioning look on her face, before looking back 
to the Eva and nodding.

"So what's in control, really?" Maya asked.  "It still has the Dummy 
plug inside, right?"

Kaoru nodded.  "Yes, but it's dormant, right now.  I'm controlling the 
Eva directly."

"I see," Maya replied.

After a few minutes, the Eva was finished.  Totaled, the new shelter 
looked much like the other ones back at the camp, but about ten times 
larger.

"Impressive," Ritsuko said, coming up to Kaoru.  "But you know we're 
probably going to have to put some restrictions on you.  People aren't 
going to want an Eva walking around near their homes."  At this, she 
glanced at the footprints the Eva left.  Each print could swallow a 
good-sized car.  ^I'm sure people would just _love_ to have a bunch of 
those all over the place,^ she thought, sarcastically.

Kaoru shrugged.  "I'm sure we can work something out later," he said, a 
hint of exasperation in his voice.  "But what else do you want to know, 
Akagi-san?"

* * *

Days passed slowly for Kaoru and Rei.  Every morning, Maya and Ritsuko 
would come to further study the Eva.  And every evening, the two women 
would would head back, slightly more well-informed about the machine.  
Usually they'd bring Kaoru and Rei back with them to get some dinner.

In between, the two children were obliged to help Maya and Ritsuko 
learn all they could about how the reactivated machine worked.  It was 
often tedious, and occasionally very tiring work.  But they were 
learning things; for instance, the two women had found that although 
Kaoru was the one who could control the Eva directly, Rei was the only 
one who could access the Dummy plug's control systems.

One morning, Rei woke up at her usual early time, sitting up and 
blinking as she looked around.  She was inside the shelter the Eva had 
set up some time ago.  Since the sun was only just beginning to rise, 
the place was still full of shadows.  But as opposed to the other, tiny 
shelters, this one was anything but claustrophobic.  Rei had been 
unable to believe how much space was in here, when she'd first walked 
in.  What were they supposed to _do_ with this much room, anyway?

She got up and brushed herself off.  She walked over to a corner, where 
a pile of spare clothes was lying.  She changed quietly, thinking about 
how they'd risked personal injury, going into decaying old houses just 
so they could have spare garments.  But there had been no choice; there 
wasn't any other place to get them.  The other people back at the main 
camp did the same thing.

When she was done, she walked outside, the muddy ground making 
squelching noises under her feet.  It had apparently rained last night.  
But their home had done the job; she was still dry.  

She looked back into the enormous rock construction that was now her 
home.  It definitely left a lot of things to be desired, but it was 
better than nothing.  Maybe after they had a better grip on how to work 
the Eva, they could build something better.

Rei thought about this as she walked around towards the Eva.  ^But why 
should I want anything better?^ she wondered.  ^I've always just worked 
with what I've been given.^  She pondered this as she came to the Eva's 
foot.  She looked up at the copy of the mecha she'd spent so much time 
in.  The mecha that had once tried to kill her...

But her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a splash of water.  
Interested, she walked around behind the shelter, where the noise had 
come from.  There, she found Kaoru.  The boy was naked and wet, having 
just splashed himself with a considerable amount of water.  Rei watched 
as he began rubbing at his body with his bare hands, trying to rub off 
some of the grit that had collected there over the days.

"It's a good idea to stay clean," Kaoru explained, not looking up.  
"And with the rain, there was some extra water."

"I see," Rei said.  "Maybe I'll clean myself later."

"Whatever you want.  I set out a few buckets to catch the rain last 
night.  There should be enough for both of us."

Rei nodded, then looked back towards the camp.  Maya and Ritsuko were 
nowhere to be seen, just yet.  She turned away from Kaoru and leaned 
against the stony wall of the shelter.

"What do you suppose they have planned?" Rei asked.

"Who?  Akagi-san and Ibuki-san?"

"Yes, I suppose.  Or anyone who is in charge."

"I don't know," Kaoru replied.  "Why do you ask?"

"...I have lived with Eva all my life," Rei explained.  "And apparently 
I cannot avoid it, even after Third Impact.  But there was always a 
reason for me to be involved.  Someone always had a use for me."

"Did it occur to you that maybe they're just interested in how to get 
the most use out of this machine?" Kaoru asked, as he splashed himself 
again.

Rei shrugged.  "I suppose...I'm just used to being a tool."

Kaoru laughed lightly.  "Well, you should snap out of that mentality," 
he said.  "We aren't around to fight Angels anymore, or start another 
Impact.  We're just trying to start over."

"...yes."

"You're just not used to living on your own, Rei," Kaoru continued, 
drying himself off.  "You might look like a real loner, but...you're 
used to having someone tell you what to do, aren't you?"

Rei didn't respond.  She just started walking towards the Eva.  "Ibuki-
san and Akagi-san will be here soon," she said, even though she didn't 
check the camp again.  In truth, the two women were still nowhere to be 
seen.  It was just too early for them.

Kaoru laughed again.  ^You've got a lot of adjusting to do, don't you?^ 
he mentally asked the girl.

Rei got to the Eva and sat down on the Eva's foot, looking back at the 
camp and waiting for Maya and Ritsuko to make their appearance.  She 
hoped they could get started early today.  She didn't like thinking 
about all the changes she'd have to make to her life.

^I need to take full control of my life...for the first time.  I 
suppose I could learn to do that.  But I'm...what's this feeling?  
I'm...afraid of being on my own.^

^Interesting.  I know people avoid me, and I in fact prefer that they 
do.  Yet at the same time I'm afraid of being cut off from all human 
contact.  This doesn't make any sense.^

Rei thought about this for a while.  Hadn't Akagi once said that 
conflicts were what created human intelligence?  That principle had 
been embodied in the MAGI, definitely.  Rei knew what it was like to 
have conflicts.  Indeed, she'd had thoughts like the ones she was 
having now many times before.  But before now, there had always been 
some overriding purpose, something that necessitated pushing everything 
else aside, including her own emotions and cares.

^But living independently produces nothing _but_ conflicts,^ she 
thought.  ^I wonder how Ikari handles it.^

She blinked at this thought, then shook her head vigorously.  ^No, if 
I'm to live on my own, I need to figure out my own solutions.^

The other reason she didn't want to think about how Shinji handled it 
was that the thought of him brought up a host of new emotions she was 
only just getting to know.  Even now, these emotions were flooding her 
consciousness.  Rei could identify some of them: happiness, envy, 
despair, loneliness...all because of _one_ person?

She didn't want to think about it.  She was afraid to think about it.  
So, with no small effort, she shoved the thoughts and emotions into a 
small corner of her mind, clearing her consciousness like she had done 
a thousand times before.  Her face, previously showing a mix of 
expressions, smoothed and went back to the old deadpan look.

^I wish Akagi and Ibuki would get here, soon.^

Then she wouldn't have to think.  She could just act, living like she 
had before Third Impact.  It was only a temporary fix, but it was all 
she had right now.

* * *

Later that day, Asuka was watching as the blue shape of Eva-00 got up 
and began moving around, as Maya and Ritsuko told Kaoru and Rei what to 
do.  The shocks from its footsteps could be felt even this far, though 
they were more like gentle vibrations than the small earthquakes Asuka 
knew they would be once you got up close.

She shook her head, still unable to believe that an Eva had 
returned.  She thought she'd left those things behind...

But in spite of her reservations about the machine, it would definitely 
be useful.  There was no way they'd have _ever_ been able to move that 
concrete foundation before.  And yet Unit-00 was doing it so easily...

"Hey, there," came a familiar voice, as a girl sat down next to Asuka 
on the hill she was taking a break on.

Asuka turned to look at the new arrival.  "Hi there, Hikari," she said, 
the worry seeping into her voice.

"What's wrong?" the other girl asked, hearing that tone.

"It's just...well...you know, watching it like this.  The last time I 
was in an Eva...I almost died."  She rubbed at her right arm as she 
said this, looking back to the Eva.  Running up length of her arm on 
top was a jagged scar, mirrored by a similar streak on the underside.

"Well..." Hikari said, trying to figure out what to say.  "You don't 
have to do it anymore.  It's out of your hands, you kn-"

"And Ayanami's there, too..." Asuka said, speaking as though she hadn't 
even heard Hikari.  She then fell silent, gritting her teeth a little.

Hikari blinked at being cut off, then sighed.  "Still bitter?"

Asuka leaned back onto the hillside and looked up into the sky, 
crossing her hands over her stomach.  "I dunno," she said, 
noncommitally.

Hikari mimicked Asuka's position, groaning a little as she stretched 
out.  "Really," she said.  "You can tell me."

Asuka shut her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.  "I guess 
it's been long enough that I could forgive her..."

"But?" Hikari asked, trying to guess what Asuka wanted to say.

Asuka fell silent.  She clenched a fist so hard her knuckles cracked.

"Shinji asked me that, if she ever came back, could I at least _try_ 
and make her feel welcome.  Well, it was easy enough saying hi, I 
guess.  But now she really _is_ back in our lives, isn't she?"

"Asuka..." Hikari said.  She reached over and touched Asuka's fist.  
"Look, you told me all about this.  I know you feel like she was 
against you, but - "

"The doll saved me," Asuka said to the sky, nodding a little.  She sat 
up.  "That's what I just can't forget.  The damn doll saved _me_.  She 
didn't like me, or even respect me.  But they told her to save me, so 
that's what she did."

Hikari's brow furrowed.  She knew Asuka was talking about the incident 
with the 15th Angel and the mind-rape involved; over time, the story 
had slowly come out.  But she still didn't know what to say.  The 
bitterness ran deep, apparently.

"It's like I'm always losing to dolls," Asuka said.  "Shinji even got 
along better with her than with me."

"But - "

"Just a sec," Asuka said, holding up one hand.  "Just listen for a 
sec."

"Why...why don't you tell Shinji about this?" Hikari asked, quietly.  
"He might be able to help."

Asuka shook her head.  "No...I don't want to worry him.  He knows I 
didn't get along with Rei, and he's got enough stuff on his mind 
already.  Comes with being the leader, you know," she said, smiling 
sadly.

Hikari closed her mouth and just nodded mutely.

"And now she's the one who's in control of the thing that might just 
help us get up off the ground.  You've been watching that, right?" 
Asuka said, gesturing in the Eva's general direction.

Hikari nodded again.

"So now...I don't know.  I guess I'm just afraid she'll be one-upping 
me again," Asuka said.  She shook her head.  "I'm more of a baka than 
Shinji.  I don't have the right to be worrying about that stuff, but I 
still am."

"You're right," Hikari said, switching over to "Class Rep" mode and 
putting on her best "annoyed" face.  "Asuka, what you're talking about 
happened years ago.  _Years_, okay?  Just put it behind you."

Asuka snorted.  "It's not that easy."

Hikari now looked genuinely angry.  "If Ayanami hadn't helped you, 
you'd be dead, okay?  _Dead_.  And no matter what you say, it's better 
to be alive.  You might be bitter, but you're right, you _don't_ have 
the right to be worried about who's better than who.  We're all in the 
dust, trying to build something back up before we die."

Asuka turned her head and cocked an eyebrow, amused.  "Hit a nerve 
somewhere?  Or maybe..."

Hikari instantly switched over to looking very embarassed.  "Sorry," 
she said.  "It's just...well, you know, with the way I am, and all.  
I'll try to keep it under control."

"Uh huh," Asuka said, false annoyance on her face.  "But actually...you 
might have a point.  Maybe...oh, what the hell.  She's starting her 
life over.  I could give starting over with her a shot."

Hikari nodded.  "Now _that's_ more like it."

"Maybe I'll use her first name...or not.  I'll just make it up as I go 
along, I guess."

"Fine.  Do it your way, but at least give it a chance.  I'm sure 
Ayanami doesn't care what happened before."

"Wouldn't care if I sawed her leg off..." Asuka muttered.  She then 
rolled her eyes and tapped herself on the head with her fist.  "Gotta 
stop that," she said.  "Damn, it's gonna be harder than I thought."

"Hm."

They both lay back down on the hillside and went back to looking at the 
sky.

"...Thanks, Hikari," Asuka said, finally breaking the silence.  
"And...sorry for unloading my problems on you like this."

"What're friends for?  But anyway, you're welcome."

"So...how're you doing?"

Hikari shrugged as best she could while lying down.  "Not bad.  I was 
just wondering what you're up to.  There's not much for me to do, you 
know, the way I am."

Asuka nodded knowingly.  "Where'd that baka Kensuke go, anyway?  I 
thought he was supposed to be helping you."

Hikari smiled.  "He's busy with that truck they turned back over 
earlier.  He's trying to get the battery working again."

Asuka shook his head.  "And left you all alone?  That idiot knows 
better than that."

Hikari laughed.  "No, he actually asked me first, and I said it was OK.  
So I thought I'd come over to see you.  What were you doing?  You were 
just sitting here, staring off into space, like Ayanami."

Asuka let out a short laugh.  "God, I'm not _that_ bad.  Sorry I 
worried you.  I was just...thinking.  About the stuff I just told you 
about."

"Oh.  Uh..." Hikari searched for a way to alleviate some of the 
tension.  "It'll be nice if he can get the truck working, won't it?"

Asuka nodded.  Then her eyes glazed over as she went back to her 
thoughts.

"You're doing it again," Hikari chided.  "I know you're the leader and 
all, Asuka...but stop worrying about Ayanami.  Just for a few minutes, 
okay?"

Asuka sighed again, before looking back at the Eva.  The machine had 
finally stopped moving, and gone back to it's former position: 
motionless, stuck in a crouching position on the ground.  She could 
just barely make out the forms of Rei and Kaoru sitting on its 
shoulders.

"I wish I could."

"Hi there," Misato said, walking past them.  "Taking a break, girls?" 
Misato, for her part, was carrying an armload of kindling and other 
assorted flammables, to keep a fire going once night fell.

"Hi, Misato," Asuka said.  "How're you - "

"Katsuragi-san, can you help me out?" Hikari asked, cutting Asuka off.  
The brown-haired girl sat up carefully, meeting Misato's gaze.

Misato's face became worried.  "What is it?  Do you feel sick?"

Hikari shook her head.  "No, no, it's not that.  I need you to help 
Asuka here with her problems with Ayanami."

"Hikari!" Asuka shouted, sitting up so fast she became dizzy.  "You're 
not supposed to _tell_ anyone about that!"

Hikari ignored her.  "She needs to get some time with Ayanami to, you 
know, say hi, and at least _try_ being friendly to her."

Misato's face instantly brightened.  "Well, now, _that's_ something 
different altogether."

"Hey!" Asuka said, trying to make himself known.  "I can get along 
fine, you know."

Hikari shook her head.  "Asuka, I know you probably could, but let me 
speed things up, here.  Katsuragi-san, can't you order her or 
something?"

Misato laughed.  "Not anymore.  But sure...uh...hey, we could probably 
have a party, you know.  That's the perfect place to get to know 
people."

Asuka's eyes widened.  "A _what_?  Misato, Ayanami going to a party is 
about as likely as a rock learning to fly."

"Come onnnnn..." Misato said, cajolingly, but at the same time sounding 
like a mother trying to convince her child to do the right thing.  
"Look, I know Rei is...well, herself...but you can at least give her a 
chance."

"I'll just order her to go," Asuka said under her breath.  "Then she'd 
do it even if both her legs were broken."

"What was that?" Hikari asked.

"Nothing," Asuka said, waving her hand.  ^I _will_ give Ayanami a 
chance, I _will_ give Ayanami a chance...^ she kept mentally repeating 
that phrase, hoping she could convince herself of it.

"If anything, it'll give the people a chance to unwind," Misato said, 
trying to justify herself.  "Dunno if you've noticed, but everyone's 
kind of tense, watching Unit-00 out there."

"Really?" Asuka asked, looking out at the Eva.  "I never really 
looked..."

"Well, they are," Misato said.  "Believe me, I've noticed."

"Gotta learn that human-relations stuff," Asuka muttered to herself.  
She raised her voice and looked back to Misato.  "Oh, what the hell.  
Go ahead, Misato.  But you set it up."

"No prob," Misato said, flashing a "V" with her fingers.  "Come on, 
Hikari.  You can probably help me out, if you feel up to it."

"Of course I do," Hikari said, putting her hands on her hips.  "I'm not 
_that_ bad, thank you."

Misato smiled and led Hikari off.

Asuka leaned back down on the hillside.  ^I guess I'll have to explain 
this one to Shinji...might need to convince him to go along with it.  
that baka _is_ always worried about how we don't have enough of this 
and that.^

She smiled at the thought of what "convincing" would involve.  Finally, 
she got back to her feet and headed back towards the camp.

* * *

Later that same day, Ritsuko and Maya were standing some distance away 
from Unit-00, talking.  The sun was setting in the background, slowly 
dimming the light around them.

Nagisa was standing not far off.  He had his hands in his pockets and 
was walking as though he was on top of the world.  Rei, on the other 
hand, was sitting on the Eva's foot, her legs curled against her body, 
obviously waiting for something to happen.

"So what's your final verdict?" Maya whispered to Ritsuko.

"It's interesting how they reactivated a Dummy plug," Ritsuko said, 
glancing through some of the notes she'd taken.  "And they truly seem 
to have the machine under their control, too.  I wonder if it's 
possible to reactivate the other MP Evas like that..."

"You're not serious, are you, Ritsuko?"

Ritsuko glanced over to see Maya's horrified face.  "We need to look 
into every possibility, Maya," she explained.  "Any advantage we can 
find...should be worth it."

Maya just sighed and shook her head.  They remained in silence for some 
time.

"So...how are you doing, Nagisa-san?" Maya asked the boy, raising her 
voice so he could hear.  "Have you been adjusting well?"

"Rei and I have only been back for a few days, Ibuki-san," Nagisa 
replied.  "But we're doing well, thanks."

Maya laughed lightly.  "Oh, go ahead and call me Maya," she said.  "I 
have a feeling me an Ritsuko-san will be spending a lot of time with 
you and Ayanami-san."

Kaoru smiled.  "Then you may call me Kaoru," he said.  "And the same 
goes for you, Ritsuko-san," he added, bowing slightly.  Maya blushed in 
spite of herself.  Kaoru, for his part, turned to look at Rei, trying 
to figure out what the girl was thinking.

Maya found herself under an appraising stare from Ritsuko.  "I know he 
was an Angel..." Maya said, trying to explain herself.  "But...well, 
you know.  We're all kind of in the same situation."

"Yes.  I understand that much, Maya," Ritsuko said.  "Let's get back.  
It's getting cold."

"Alright."  Maya turned towards Kaoru and Rei.  "We're headed back, you 
two.  Do you want to come along?"

Kaoru and Rei simultaneously glanced over at the setting sun.  "I guess 
we _should_ get something to eat, eh?" Kaoru asked, remembering that 
the last time he'd eaten had been that morning.  Usually, Maya and 
Ritsuko brought some food with them, knowing that the two children were 
still somewhat hesitant to go into the camp.  Not to mention most of 
the survivors were still scared of Rei.

They started walking.  Ritsuko and Maya took the lead, while Kaoru and 
Rei followed not far behind.

As they neared the camp, they began hearing noises of ferverent 
activity and...celebration?

They came to the fringe of the camp in time to see a large fire had 
been lit, with people hanging around it, talking, laughing, and 
generally enjoying themselves.

"What the..." Ritsuko began.  She figured it out a moment later.  
"...figures."

"What is it, Ritsuko-san?" Kaoru asked, squinting to try and see what 
was going on ahead of them.

"You'll find out in a minute.  I hope you don't mind parties, Nagisa."

"Kaoru, please," the boy corrected.  "It sounds interesting.  Come on, 
Rei.  Let's see what this is about."

Rei quietly came forwards, matching stride with Kaoru as he headed into 
the camp.

"Think Misato set it up?" Maya asked.

"Who else?" Ritsuko responded.  She watched Rei and Kaoru disappear 
behind one of the houses.  Several voices were raised soon after, 
welcoming the children back.

Ritsuko nodded, feeling an almost tangible weight get lifted off of her 
shoulders.  "Well...I guess we're through studying the Eva.  Now we 
just have to hope they use it right."

Maya nodded.  "Are you okay, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, reverting back to 
the more familiar name.

"I guess," Ritsuko said.  "It's hard seeing her again, but...yeah, I 
could be worse."

"You don't sound like it," Maya said playfully, nudging Ritsuko in the 
ribs.

"Well...I know what I did to the other Reis," Ritsuko said.  "And I 
know she knows.  But Rei's so damn _distant_...I don't know what she's 
thinking."

"Well...come on, let's see what Misato's got set up.  Maybe you can 
unwind a little."

Ritsuko nodded, though she didn't believe she was going to get anything 
out of this.  Re-adjusting to having Rei and the Evas in her life again 
was going to take more than a few days.  She'd just have to give it 
time.

^I can at least do _that_ much,^ she thought.

* * *

On entering the camp, Rei and Kaoru found themselves greeted by the 
few people they were anywhere close to being friends with.

"Welcome back!" Misato said, being the first to talk.

"How'd it go?" Asuka asked, stepping towards Rei and Kaoru.

Shinji was there too, but said nothing, preferring not to confuse the 
new arrivals.

"It went well, thank you," Kaoru said, his eyes sweeping over them.  
"Ritsuko-san has confirmed that the Eva is fully functional.  Of 
course, Rei and I knew that already."

Rei nodded in response to this, though her eyes wandered over to 
Shinji.  The boy met her gaze, smiling a moment later.  Rei felt her 
own lips curl up, seeing him happy like that.

Misato started leading them back into the camp.  "Well, come on and 
tell us everything," she said.  "We all wanna know."

"Yeah, come on!" Asuka said, grabbing Rei and Kaoru's hands and 
dragging them along.  Rei's smile fell, but she let herself be pulled 
in.  Shinji followed close behind, still smiling.

They came into the camp, seeing that a party was indeed underway.  
Well, what passed for a party on Post-Third-Impact Earth, anyway.  A 
bonfire had been set up and was burning brightly, lighting up the camp 
as the sun set in the distance.  People were all standing around the 
fire, talking and eating.  Most of them seemed to be enjoying 
themselves.

"We figured something like this was in order," Misato said.

"You mean _you_ figured something like this was in order," Shinji 
muttered to himself.

"Everyone was kind of tense from watching what you did with the Eva, 
so we needed to do something," Misato continued, not having heard 
Shinji.  "Come on, we were sitting over here."

They walked over to a spot not far from the fire, sitting on top of a 
thick, toppled concrete slab.  It might have once been a wall, but 
there was no way to tell.  Now, it was just an improvised dais for the 
leaders of the survivors.

They all took seats in a semicircle, watching the people relax.  
Misato excused herself for a minute to go get something for them to 
eat.

"So...what did Akagi-san say?" Shinji asked, looking over at the red-
eyed children sitting across from him.  "She said today was probably 
the last day of testing."

"It was," Rei began, in her soft, even voice.  "We explained to her 
that we used one of the Mass-Production Evas for raw materials."

In speaking, she cut off Kaoru, who'd begun to assume he was going to 
have to do all the talking.  The boy looked slightly surprised by Rei 
taking the initiative, but seemed to mentally shake it off.  Rei began, 
in her soft, even voice.  

"MP Evas..." Asuka mumbled to herself.  She shuddered at a sudden, 
unwelcome memory.  Shinji's brow furrowed in worry as he saw this, and 
he reached over to take Asuka's hand.  The girl looked at him 
thankfully, as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"So that leaves...what, eight others?" Shinji asked.

Rei nodded silently, the barest hint of sadness appearing around her 
eyes. Shinji failed to notice this subtle show of emotion, being too 
concerned with keeping Asuka together.

"Eight, yes," Asuka said, not having seen Rei.  "And those others 
better _stay_ dead, dammit..."

"Don't worry, Soryu," Kaoru said, cocking his head as he looked at the 
pair in front of him.  "The current Eva was only able to reactivate 
with our intervention."

Rei opened her mouth to say something about Akagi suggesting they 
bring back the others, but then reconsidered.  It wasn't necessary at 
the moment, and...saying something like that would just cause Asuka 
pain.

^But I want to see her hurt...why?  Why should I wish pain on someone 
else, and one of the leaders at that?  But...watching her with Ikari...^

Misato returned a few minutes later, with a makeshift tray in one hand 
and a bottle in the other.  Shinji looked at the bottle and narrowed 
his eyes.  "Really, Misato-san.  We need that to help clean cuts."

"Ah, let me have my fun," Misato said, waving him off.  She sat down 
and handed Kaoru and Rei the tray.  The two children quickly dug into 
the food that had been on it.  

Asuka watched Rei, the German girl visibly becoming more nervous.  ^I 
promised myself I'd try...but it's _her_.  This is gonna be harder than 
I guessed...^

Misato, for her part, popped open the bottle of sake.  She took a long 
glug from it, as Shinji covered his eyes in defeat.

Asuka took note of the bottle and her eyes went wide.  "Hey!  You 
sharing?"

"Ah, sure," Misato said, passing Asuka the bottle.  The German girl 
immediately took a quick shot of her own.  "Aaaaaaaaahhh..." she said, 
in a much more toned-down version of Misato's normal yell.  She 
relaxed as she handed the sake back to Misato.

Kaoru swallowed the roll he'd been eating.  "I assume that's something 
in short supply?" he asked, watching.

"Uh huh," Shinji replied.  He and Rei sighed, simultaneously.  Some 
things never changed, whether or not there was an apocalypse.

Kaoru's eyes flickered over the other four people sitting in front of 
him.  He smiled slightly, thinking.  Then, he stood up, extending a 
hand to Misato.

"Excuse me, Katsuragi-san, but I believe there are many people here 
who don't know me.  Would you care to show me around?"

Misato raised an eyebrow, but then took his hand and got to her feet.  

"I guess, so, sure.  Rei, you want to get re-introduced?"

"I suppose I shou - "

"No, Rei, why don't you stay here and finish explaining to these two 
what we did with the Eva?" Kaoru asked.  His eyes caught Rei's, and 
held them.  Rei looked at him, confused, but then resumed her sitting 
position, crossing her hands in her lap.

Kaoru immediately hopped off of the slab they were sitting on.  Misato 
began to follow, but stopped as Shinji called out to her.

"Misato-san...leave the sake."

"Shinji!  C'mon, it's not like I get to party every night anymore."

"Misato..."

"Ack.  Oh, all right."  Misato took another sip from the sake, then 
left the bottle on the ground, grumbling and turning to go follow 
Kaoru.

"So..." Shinji began, looking back to Rei.  "What _did_ you two do, 
anyway?  I didn't think you could do that with one of the Evas."

Rei blinked.  "A normal person could not.  Yet Kaoru-san and I are 
apparently still somewhat related to the Angels."

"Does that bother you?" Shinji asked, trying to look encouraging.

Rei shook her head, once.  "It is what I am.  Kaoru-san and I chose to 
return in this form."

"Alright, this is getting a little dark," Asuka said.  "Just a 
minute."  She got up and picked up the bottle Misato had left behind, 
coming back and sitting back down next to Shinji.

^Alright, Asuka,^ she thought to herself.  ^Just do it like you always 
do.  Here goes.^

"So come on, Rei...how's life?  What're you and that Nagisa kid going 
to do, now?"

Rei blinked several times.  That was the first time Asuka had ever 
called her by her first name.  Not only that, she hadn't said it in a 
sarcastic or deragatory way.

Shinji noticed this, too.  "No more 'Wonder Girl,' Asuka?"

Asuka glanced at him.  "I can't stay mad forever," she said, putting on 
her best confident attitude.  "And as much as you baka guys would want 
to see a bitch fight, we can't go doing that _now_, can we?" she asked, 
nudging him with her elbow.

Shinji rolled his eyes and looked back to Rei.  "But really, 
Ayanami...what do you and Kaoru-kun have planned?"

"I'm not certain," Rei replied, her eyes moving towards the ground.  
Asuka took this moment to take a shot from the sake.

"Currently I am just focused on re-adjusting to living," Rei 
continued.  "We need to get used to the new conditions."

"Yeah," Shinji said.  "It's hard, believe me.  But hey, if you were 
determined enough to come back, you should be determined enough to 
keep going afterwards, right?"

Asuka cut off Rei's response by passing Shinji the bottle.  "Here, 
Shinji-chan, have some of this."

"Asuka...you know we can't go wasting this..."

"Oh, come on, have some fun for once."

"Well..." Shinji trailed off, but he took the bottle anyway.  He took 
a brief sip from it.

"That's more like it," Asuka said, putting her arm around his 
shoulders.  She leaned against him and looked over to Rei.  "You want 
some?" she asked, amicably.

Rei shook her head, crossing her hands in her lap and keeping her face 
blank.  She got a sick feeling in her stomach, watching those two so 
close, but she doing a good job ignoring that sensation.

^It's just another thing I need to deal with,^ Rei thought.  ^If I 
ignore it, I should be fine.^  She tried very hard to convince herself 
that that was true.

They started talking, taking the time to tell each other how their 
lives were going.  The food Misato had brought slowly disappeared, as 
did the sake.

* * *

Misato led Kaoru through the camp, introducing him to a few key 
people.  She didn't tell anyone about what he'd been before Third 
Impact.  Right now, he was just a boy trying to start over.  What he'd 
been before then didn't matter.  Yet.

She kept her eye on him as they moved among the people there.  Kaoru 
didn't bother with things like dancing or drinking, but he talked a 
great deal, getting to know the people around him.  He'd lost none of 
his charm; most of the people he met seemed to like him very much.  
The only exceptions were people who had prior knowledge of him.  
Shigeru, for instance, went to great lengths to avoid talking to the 
boy.

Kaoru was wandering aimlessly when Misato caught a glimpse of a girl 
with freckles and brown hair.

"Oh, come over this way," Misato said, grabbing Kaoru's hand and 
pulling him towards the girl.

"Who is it now, Katsuragi-san?" he asked, as he matched pace with 
Misato to avoid being dragged along the ground.

Misato made it up to her target.  "Kaoru Nagisa...meet Hikari Horaki."

"A pleasure," he said, nodding in the girl's direction.  His eyes 
glanced downwards.  "Been busy, I see?" he asked, looking back into 
Hikari's face.

Hikari turned a rather impressive red.  "Well...you know," she said, 
gingerly stroking her stomach, which was just beginning to bulge with 
what it carried.

Kaoru smiled.  "I'm happy for you," he said.  "Now, I believe you're 
one of Soryu's friends, correct?"

Hikari nodded.  "I - "

"Hey, Misato!" Kensuke Aida said, coming up to them.  The boy hadn't 
changed much in the years; he was slightly taller, and his hair was 
more ordered than it had once been, but he still had the same boyish 
face.

"Oh, hi there," Misato said.  "Here, I'd like you to meet Kaoru 
Nagisa."

After the introductions were over with, Kaoru looked back over to 
Hikari.  "Now then, where were we?  Oh, yes.  When are you due?" he 
asked the girl.

Hikari blushed again.  "Well, remember we don't have much of a way to 
tell time.  I'm still a long way off, but it still gives me an excuse 
to get out of the heavier work."

Misato gave Hikari an annoyed look, while Kensuke laughed.  "Hey, you 
know," the boy said.  "She's just doing her part.  We gotta rebuild, 
and all."

"And _you_ get to help me out," Hikari interjected.  "The first male 
nurse-slash-electrician, eh?"

Kensuke laughed again, though it was more subdued this time.  He 
rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Of course," Kaoru said.  "So, you're the father, I assume?"

Kensuke paled.  "If I was, I don't think I'd still be alive.  Touji 
would break my neck."

Kaoru cocked his head, interested.  "Touji?"

"Touji Suzuhara," Kensuke explained.  "He...well, you know..." he 
said, gesturing to Hikari, who blushed again.

Kaoru nodded.  "I see.  Well, he's a very lucky man.  Where is 
Suzuhara-san, anyway?"

Hikari's happy mood quickly dried up.  "He's not here right now," she 
said.  "He volunteered to go explore the area around here, to see if 
anyone else has set up something like what we have here.  He's been 
gone...for a few weeks, now."

Kaoru's brow furrowed at the sadness he heard in Hikari's voice.  
"Well, I'm sure he'll come back soon," he said, gingerly taking 
Hikari's hand.

"You're taking your life in your hands there, buddy," Kensuke said.

"Shut up," Hikari shot off at the other boy.  "Thank you," she said to 
Kaoru, her voice much softer.  "It's...really nice of you, to say 
that."

"You're welcome," Kaoru said, flashing her a smile before letting go 
of her hand.  He turned to Kensuke.  "Aida-san, Rei tells me you're 
very interested in the Evas."

"Well...I was.  There's not much left for Evas to blow up or smash 
anymore, so they just aren't as exciting, you know?"

"Would you like to come look at Unit-00 with me?"

"Hell yes," Kensuke replied, immediately.  He then realized his slip 
and turned red, as everyone else laughed.

"Well, come on then," Kaoru said, gesturing for the boy to follow.

Kensuke turned towards Hikari.  "Are you okay without me?" he asked.

Hikari nodded.  "Yeah, I'll just hang onto Misato here," the girl 
replied, nudging Misato with her elbow.

"Alright.  Well, you know where I'll be," he said, turning towards the 
huge blue mecha over by Rei and Kaoru's shelter.  He followed the 
other boy off into the distance.

"Boys will be boys," Misato said, shaking her head.  "So, Hikari...you 
know where I can find some booze around here?"

* * *

Some considerable time after Kaoru had left Rei with Shinji and Asuka, 
the red-eyed girl was trying not to sigh in exasperation.

The bottle of sake lay empty on the ground.  Rei had not drunk any of 
it, having previously observed the effect it had on people.  Asuka - 
and to a lesser extent Shinji - had much looser inhibitions.  They 
also had frighteningly low tolerances to the stuff, probably because 
alcohol was such a precious commodity that they barely ever drank any.

"Hey, Shinjiiii..." Asuka slurred out.  "Don' you think Ra nee's to 
loos'n up?"

"Asuka..." Shinji said, trailing off.  He blinked several times, 
trying to stay awake.  "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Yup," Asuka said, smiling.  She leaned on Shinji's shoulder and 
lazily traced a finger around his flushed cheeks.  "Bu' you are 
tooooo, Shinji-chan..."

Shinji sighed, as his head dipped down a little.  He snapped his head 
back up, but it drooped again.  "We should prob'bly get to bed," He 
said.  He looked apologetically at Rei, but only for a moment.

"Al-riiight!" Asuka groaned out.  "We is partyin' tonight!"  She 
raised both her hands up, flashing a double "V" to the world with her 
fingers.  Then she hiccuped, leaned back on Shinji's shoulder, and 
closed her eyes.  She was snoring a moment later.

Shinji sighed again.  "I'm sorry, Ayanami..." he said.  "But could you 
help me with her?"

Rei didn't move.  She looked over Asuka, then back into Shinji's eyes.  
"When...when did it start?"

"Hm?" Shinji asked, blinking again.  He stood up and looped his hands 
under Asuka's armpits, supporting her as he stood up.  Rei's brow 
furrowed, but then she got to her feet and took Asuka's legs.  
Together, they started walking back towards Shinji's hut.

"When did what start, Ayanami?" he asked, as they walked.

"...between you and Soryu.  When did you start...getting closer?"

"Oh," Shinji replied, simply.  He said nothing for the next few 
minutes.  In that time, they made it back to the shelter, where they 
deposited Asuka on the blanket resting on the ground.  As they let go 
of her, she rolled over, sprawling out over the ground.

Shinji motioned for them to step outside.  Rei followed him to the 
"doorway" of the shelter.  Once outside, Shinji leaned back against 
the rough stone wall and sat down on the ground.  The exertion of 
carrying the girl here had woken him up, but he still felt tired.

"She can be worse than Misato-san, sometimes," Shinji said, shaking 
his head.

Rei said nothing; she sat down on the opposite side of the entry, then 
turned her head to look over at him.  She waited patiently.

"Oh, yeah, your question," Shinji said, as though just remembering.  
He shifted position, holding one knee against his body and stretching 
out his free leg.  "I guess I should be dramatic and say something 
like, 'I don't know when, it just sort of happened'."

Rei's only reaction was to blink.

"But I can't really say that.  It's kind of a long story."

"I have time."

Shinji looked over at Rei, surprised at what she'd said.  Then he 
smiled and shrugged it off.  He was tired, but...she looked like she 
wanted to know.  Ayanami actually being _interested_ in something was 
a rare event.

^Oh, why not?^ he figured.  ^She _is_ a friend...I guess...^

"What was it...well, just after...you know...," he began.

"Third Impact," Rei said, saying the words Shinji hadn't wanted to.

"Yeah," Shinji said, nodding nervously.  He rubbed the back of his 
head with one hand.  "Anyway, after that, we were both pretty messed 
up.  I can't remember when I came back...I just sort of woke up on a 
beach, with this sea of LCL out there in front of me."

Rei nodded.  She'd gotten a brief glimpse of that, herself.  Her point 
of view had been just over the surface of the liquid, looking at 
Shinji.  The boy had looked back at her...and seemed to understand what 
had just happened.

"Let's see...we eventually got up and had a look around," Shinji 
continued.  He flexed his hands as he said this, as an unwanted memory 
came back.  He could still remember the feel of Asuka's neck in his 
hands.

"So then...we spent the first few days just looking around, to see 
what had survived.  There wasn't much."  He laughed a little.  "There 
wasn't even much in the form of shelter."

"Yes?"  Rei asked, her voice almost expectant.

"So, every night, we never really slept far from each other.  Because 
of that, almost every night I could hear her crying herself to sleep.  
One day, I offered to help, and she...slapped me for it.  She'd been 
through so much...and she still only wanted to rely on herself."

Rei nodded, turning her head to look at the sky as Shinji continued.

"Then...one night, I was going to sleep, and she came up next to me.  
She asked me if she could talk to me for a while."  

He slowly took a breath and let it out.  "And she just started 
talking. About her mom...about Unit-02...about the MP Evas...she told 
me so much, everything that was on her mind, everything that was 
making her cry herself to sleep.  I asked her why me.  And she said, 
'why not'?"

Shinji closed his eyes, remembering.  "So then she asked me what was 
on _my_ mind.  Said that she actually wanted to know."  He looked 
conspiratorially at Rei.  "I think she just felt guilty," he 
whispered.  "But...I don't know, maybe she actually _did_ want to 
hear.  I can't tell what she's thinking, half the time."

Rei didn't respond, but still appeared to be listening.  Shinji 
continued.

"So I told her about everything that happened.  I told her about what 
I saw during Third Impact..." - the words came out easier, this time - 
"...and about Kaoru, and you, and Unit-01...it was really weird.  I 
hadn't really thought all that stuff was bothering me, anymore, but I 
couldn't stop myself.  I guess I was just deluding myself, thinking 
that it didn't bother me."

"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei asked, looking back at him.

"Hm?" Shinji asked, turning to look at her.  "You...well...it was 
strange, learning about where you came from."

"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei repeated.

"Kind of...I guess..." Shinji said, meekly, turning his head away from 
her gaze.  "Seeing that tank full of extra bodies just made my stomach 
turn.  And Ritsuko-san also said you were part Angel.  Half of you was 
the thing we were supposed to be killing.  I...didn't know what to 
think."

Rei went back to looking at the sky.  ^He's afraid of me...^

"...go on," Rei said.  "What happened after you spoke with Soryu?"  
She turned back to looking at the sky.

Shinji smiled a little, seeing that he wasn't the only one who didn't 
want to follow that other line of thought.  ^You don't want to be left 
alone either, do you, Ayanami?^ he thought.

"But anyway," he continued, "Asuka listened to me the whole time.  
Then she got up to leave.  I don't know, maybe talking like that gave 
me courage, but I asked her if she wanted to stay.  And...she just lay 
down next to me and went to sleep."

He paused, letting silence fall on them, while they watched everyone 
else try to enjoy themselves in the dimming light.

"And that's when it happened," he said, after a long while.  "I knew 
right then...that if we were going anywhere, it would be together."

He looked over at Rei.  The girl was resting her chin in one hand, 
staring straight ahead into space.  If not for the occasional blink, 
she could do a stunning impression of a statue.  ^I thought she wanted 
to know...^ Shinji wondered.  ^Why is she looking so disinterested 
now?  I guess that's just how Ayanami is...^

"I must sound like an idiot, huh?" Shinji asked her, trying to get her 
attention.

Rei didn't respond.  She didn't change her position.  Shinji leaned 
over to touch her arm and see if she was okay, but changed his mind at 
the last second, turning back and resuming his seat on the other side 
of the doorway.  At this, Rei sighed, the noise so quiet that she 
barely heard it herself.

"Idiot..." she said to herself.  Shinji heard it, though, and thought 
she was talking to him.

"Yeah, I guess I can be," he said, leaning back and crossing his hands 
behind his head.

"Do you love her?" Rei asked, raising her voice slightly so Shinji 
could hear her more easily.  

^I don't know if I'll be able to understand his answer...not if I 
don't even understand my _own_ feelings.  But I still want to hear 
what he has to say.^

Shinji paused, thinking it over.  "I wish I could say..." he said.  
"They always say it hits you, right out of the blue, just 'bam!'  And 
you know right then.  But...yes, I guess I do."

Rei just nodded.  She also turned her head off to the side, turning 
her face away from Shinji and leaning her head against the wall.  She 
gently rubbed at her eyes, which had become moist all of a sudden.

^I'm reacting this way again...what's wrong with me?  Or is this how 
I'm supposed to be acting?  I'm so confused...^

"Are you tired?" Shinji asked her.  From his point of view, Rei's 
actions looked like they came from fatigue.  "It _has_ been kind of a 
long day, hasn't it?"

"Yes, it has," Rei said, evenly.  She slowly adjusted her balance and 
got to her feet.

"Heading back?" Shinji asked.  Quiet crunching sounds came as he got 
to his feet.  "Here, I'll go back with you."

"It's not necessary, Ikari-kun."

"Humor me."

Rei turned her head to look at him, intending to tell him he should 
stay behind.  But as her eyes met his, the words died in her mouth.  
She shook her head slightly and turned to go, listening as Shinji fell 
in step beside her.

"Idiot..." she said to herself, again.  Shinji heard it again, but 
only looked at her, confused and questioning.  Rei tried not to 
notice.

They didn't say anything, the whole way back.  Shinji kept trying to 
think up things to break the silence, but Rei's deadpan expression 
kept him from trying.

What he didn't know was that _this_ time, the blank expression was a 
result of a tumult of thoughts going on in Rei's mind.  So much was 
going through her head at once that she didn't know how to react.

^...he said that was when he knew...but for something so simple as 
talking?

^...I was never good at talking, was I...

^...he said he loved her...^

Shinji stopped as they reached the shelter Unit-00 had set up just 
days before.  Kaoru was there already with Kensuke.  Kensuke was 
almost literally drooling over the sight of the nearby Eva, while 
Kaoru was explaining a few of the Eva's capabilities.

"...goodnight, Ayanami," Shinji said, quietly.  So quietly, in fact, 
that he wasn't sure she'd heard him.  But as Rei walked away, she 
turned her head to look at him again.

"Goodnight, Ikari-kun.  See you tomorrow."  With that, she walked off 
into the shelter.

Shinji watched, even more confused, as she walked away.  He turned 
back towards the camp, feeling the fatigue of the day start to catch 
up to him.

"I wonder if she'll ever call me by my first name?" he wondered aloud, 
as he walked.

* * *

Rei lay down on the blanket she'd laid out on the ground.  The dirt 
was rather forgiving, but putting an extra pad down was cleaner, if 
anything.  She knew she could sleep just about anywhere - from an 
actual bed to a hospital chair to an Entry Plug - but she also knew 
cleanliness was a good thing to have.

She curled up on the blanket, as night fell outside.  Another blanket 
lay nearby, in case it became cold later on.  She closed her eyes and 
tried to go to sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep was not quick in coming.  This was strange in 
itself; Rei knew she'd _never_ had trouble getting to sleep before.

She rolled over, switching positions in hopes that that would make it 
easier to fall asleep.  It didn't work.  She rolled onto her back and 
looked at the stony ceiling, trying to figure out what she could do.  
She knew she needed to sleep; there would be much to do tomorrow.  So 
why couldn't she?

"Having trouble?" Kaoru asked, from his bed nearby.  Rei turned her 
head and looked at him, surprised that he was also awake.  In the dim 
light, she could barely make out his form, but it seemed he was lying 
on his back, with his hands crossed behind his head.  His eyes also 
appeared to be closed.

"Yes..." Rei said, hesitantly.

"I suppose it's only to be expected.  You and Shinji-kun _were_ 
talking for some time, I saw."

Rei felt her cheeks heat up at the tone in Kaoru's voice as he said 
that.  ^Stop it, you idiot,^ she thought to herself.  ^You can't think 
about Ikari.^

Kaoru fell silent for some time.  Rei was beginning to think he'd gone 
to sleep when he spoke up again.

"Why do you feel that way?" he asked, quietly.

"Excuse me?" Rei asked.

In the dark, Kaoru turned his head in her direction, and opened his 
eyes.  "Why do you feel the way you do about Shinji-kun?"

Rei felt her cheeks heat up again.  She shook her head clear before 
opening her mouth to reply.  But no words came out; she didn't know 
what to say.  She paused, sorting through her thoughts.

"...I don't know," she finally said.

"Hm?"

"I'm not sure.  It's very undefined, Kaoru-san.  It's...just something 
about him."

"Surely you can do better than that."

Rei sighed.  "He..." she stopped, thinking about what to say.  
Finally, she hit on it.  "He's the only person who ever asked me to 
smile."

"...That's all?" Kaoru asked, incredulous.

Rei shook her head slowly.  "That was just the first thing I thought 
of," she explained.  "He's also the only person I've ever cried for."

"So he hit the extremes then, eh?"

Rei continued, ignoring Kaoru's comment.  "I...don't know when it 
happened.  I don't know when I started to love him - "

"_Do_ you love him?"

Rei blinked at the question, pausing.  "I..." she said, trailing off.

"Yes?"

Rei sat up, thinking.  ^Ikari-kun said that he loved Soryu...and he 
had a definite time when it happened.  Yet I cannot...what does that 
mean?^

"Yes, I do," Rei replied, the words coming out of her mouth before she 
even knew what she was saying.  "I...I _hate_ seeing him with 
her...and I have never hated before.  I know it's hopeless, but I know 
I can't stop feeling like this, either..."

"Interesting," Kaoru replied.  He rolled over, turning his back to 
her.  "Well, why don't you try getting to sleep again, Rei?"

Rei blinked at the sudden change in attitude.  "What?"

"Try again," Kaoru said.  "Sometimes saying what's on your mind can 
help.  Shinji-kun did the same thing with me.  He had so much he was 
worried about, but if he told me about it, he would feel better, and 
he'd be able to get to sleep."

^But I _don't_ feel better...^ Rei thought.

She listened quietly as Kaoru's breathing became slower and more 
regular.  Slowly, she lay back down on her blanket and shut her eyes.  
This time, she could feel sleep coming.  ^I guess it _does_ work,^ she 
thought.

Just before she began to lose consciousness, she felt a twinge in her 
spine.  It spread quickly, sending a cold shiver through her body and 
leaving her breathless for a minute.  On the corner of her 
consciousness, she saw Kaoru react the same way, at the same time.  
However, the boy remained asleep.

Breathing hard as she regained control again, Rei thought about what 
that could have been.  Unable to come up with an answer, she closed 
her eyes.  Sleep came quickly.

***

As Rei and Kaoru were talking themselves to sleep, two other people 
were trying to get to get comfortable.  Well, _one_ person was trying 
to get comfortable.  The girl sharing his home was already 
unconscious.

"You're going to hate yourself in the morning, aren't you?" Shinji 
asked, stroking Asuka's hair absentmindedly with one hand.

"Baka," he said quietly, smiling as he looked down on her.  He 
carefully lay down next to her, draping one arm over her as he closed 
his eyes and pulled her a little closer.

As he tried to get comfortable, it happened: a rigorous chill ran 
through his body, stealing his breath from him.  He felt Asuka shiver 
as well, under his arm.

Shinji was left confused as to what had caused that.  "Must be colder 
than I thought," he reasoned.  He pulled an extra blanket over the two 
of them, and resumed his former position.  It didn't take him long to 
get comfortable again, and it didn't take much longer after that for 
him to get to sleep.

* * *

In the dead of night, something off the south coast of Japan moved.

Life returned to long-dead limbs.  Joints creaked as the soul was torn 
out of the body, to be replaced by a new soul.  Stony skin crackled, 
rippling as it changed over to white flesh.  As this happened, five 
special people, who were once called the Children, felt it, their 
bodies reacting strongly to this unholy reincarnation.

The resurrected Mass-Production Eva stood up.  It pulled the Lancea 
Longinus copy out of its chest.  The weapon disintegrated as soon as 
it was out of the Eva, but it was no matter.

The mecha groaned, opening its demonic mouth and baring its teeth as 
its wings extended, stretching to their full span.  The Eva tested 
them gingerly, flapping them until it was sure the wings were in good 
condition.  Then, with a stronger flap, it took to the skies.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Endnote: What's with that look you're giving me?  Eva is a great 
anime, with a great story and characters, but it just isn't the same 
without the giant robots. ^_^

I hate having to do this to you, but there's going to be a delay in 
between now and the posting of the next part.  I'll wager a guess and 
say two or three weeks.  This part was more of a rush job than it 
might seem, and I ended up going too quickly for my prereaders.

As a note, thank you to my prereaders for putting up with me.  The 
Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Tito Ghio are all to thank for 
the story coming as far as it has.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Started: April 8, 2001
Ended: April 21, 2001

Send mail to: otakusadist@hotmail.com
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei