Disclaimer: Damaramu and Lina Inverse are property of ADV Films. Kiyone, Kain, and all Tenchidom is property of Pioneer. The superhero Ronin is a creation of mine. He is not to be used by anyone else because I am a selfish prick

MST OF "LOVE IN THE FURRYIEST OF PLACES"

(Ronin swivels in his computer chair.)
Ronin: (whistles) okay, let's see. Jesus H. Christ...these lemons are getting worse every update...What the heck is this? Finding Love in the Furryiest of Places? Oh dear God no. (Reading commences)
(Ten sentences later...)
Ronin: Urp! I feel...sick...This madness cannot continue. My sense of justice is overwhelming me. I will henceforth MST this vile thing.  I'll need some help, though...(chanting) From the Tenchi Universe, I call thee forth, Kiyone Makibi!
(Kiyone appears, dazed)
Kiyone: Hey, Ronin. What's going--oh dear god, not another Ryo-ohki lemon.
Ronin: I'm afraid so. (Continues chanting) From the world of Dragon Half, come forth, almighty Damaramu!!!
(Damaramu appears)
Damaramu: Raaagh! Why have you summoned the great warrior Damaramu...CURSES! Damaramu shall ever regret coming here! Not a Ryo-ohki lemon! Yooooaaaassshhh!!!
Ronin: Now, from the first Tenchi movie, I summon the vile entity Kain!
(Kain appears)
Kain: Foolish mortal! You shall regret bringing me to this plane of existence--Oh shit.
Ronin: Yes, Kain. A Ryo-ohki lemon.
Kain: This is indeed disturbing. I shall strip the flesh from this Rabbit's bones.
Kiyone: Hear hear.
Ronin: Finally, from the land of the Slayers, I call thee, Lina Inverse.
(Lina appears)
Lina: Damn it, Ronin. Did you hafta summon me now?
Ronin: Yes, Lina. We need your help. Someone has written a bad Ryo-ohki lemon.
Lina: A bad Ryo-ohki lemon? They're all bad.
Damaramu: She is correct. Yuuaaahh!
Kiyone: Cut that out.
Kain: Mortals, time is short. We must destroy this fic with haste.
Ronin: Agreed. Let us begin.

Well here we go, The first and most likely the only lemon I will write.

Lina: Thank god. At least they know when to stop.
Kiyone: They should've stopped at the entrance to the womb.

Standard disclaimer about who owns what and not sueing me because I have no money whatsoever to give you. Don't blame me blame P-R-P chan for sugesting it.

Ronin:(writing quickly, dictating to self) List of people to kill...#1...P-R-P chan...

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Finding Love in the furryiest of places A Tenchi Muyo fic Staring Tenchi and Ryo-oki

Ronin: Interesting. The story hasn't even started, and there are already three spelling errors.
Damaramu: I, the great Damaramu, suspect there will be many more to come. Grraaagh!
Kiyone: Didn't I tell you to stop that?

Tenchi was out in the fields harvesting carrots. Not that they didn't need anymore, the store shed had plenty, but Ryoko and Ayeka were arguing again. This was causing him a splitting headache that just would not go away. He was just dumping his small carry basket into the larger one on the cart when he noticed Ryo-oki in her humanoid form walking out towards him along the path. Usually Ryo-oki was playing with Sasami, but the little tyke was nowhere to be seen.

Lina: Heh heh...playing with Sasami.
Kain: Do not try my patience, woman.

Ryo-oki walked up to Tenchi and gave a Maiow in greetings.

Ronin: Maiow? Isn't that a city in China?
Kiyone: France, actually.
Others: O_O?

She had started off in a sunny disposition when she had come out to visit Tenchi and maybe see if she could wheedle a few carrots out of him. Her expression changed from happiness to worry as she saw Tenchi's current mood. Tenchi saw how his mood was affecting her and groaned. It was bad enough that he was gloomy, now he had brought someone else down in the dumps with him.

Lina: Oh, nice going, Tench! (to the side) Asshole.

Taking Ryo-oki's hand Tenchi said "I'm sorry. It's just that I'm getting so tired of those two fighting. It just wears on my nerves after a while. I didn't mean to make you sad." Tenchi looked into her eyes and added "At least you don't look at me as a prize to be won. I wish those two could be more like you, loving uncondisionally without jellacy or anger."

Kiyone:  Whoa, Tenchi, don't go there.

Tenchi let go of Ryo-oki's hand and gave another sigh, "but I guess thats just a pipe dream, Theres no-one like that, at least not for me." Ryo-oki's heart almost broke when she heard him say that. She had loved him like all the others but till now she had thought she didn't stand a chance. After all she had been constructed to look like some strange cross between a rabbit and a cat. But with her reccent fusion with the masses she now had at least a humanoid body she could morph into. She had still felt she had no chance, mostly because she thought Tenchi still thought of her as a cabbit and her inability to express herself. Suddenly she had an idea that would hopefully cheer up Tenchi and allow her to express her feelings towards him.

Damaramu: (Raising an eyebrow)  The mighty Damaramu is confused.
Lina: (with a concerned look)  Ronin, I don't like the way this story is developing...
Ronin: Be brave, Lina.

Tenchi watched as Ryo-oki grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the lake. Puzzled he allowed himself to be led. When they got to the lake he watched as Ryo-oki leaped into the air and morphed into her spaceship mode. 'I'll don't think I'll ever get use to seeing that.' he thought to himself. He then felt himself being pulled up by the tansit beam. Tenchi wondered what the cabbit had planned.

Kiyone: What the hell is a tansit beam?

Ryo-oki made sure Tenchi was safely on board then set a course for the outer atmosphere. Morphing a control crystal back into her girl likeness, she went over to him. Tenchi Saw Ryo-oki-chan move over to him. He was confused for a minute then remembered that when she was in ship mode she could control the shape of her interal computer units, but he had never seen her take on her humanoid shape while in this mode before. "Whats going on?" he asked, not really expecting an answer. He was suprised when the screen lit up and text scrolled across it. It read [ I am taking you on a little trip. You were sad and I wanted to make you happy. I also wanted a chance to tell you how I felt about you.] Tenchi could almost swear the screen was blushing, and Ryo-oki-chan was most definately blushing.

Kain: This is most displeasing. If Tenchi starts blushing too, I will destroy the nearest life form to me.
(Others edge away)

Tenchi saw that the text had once again begun to display itself. [ I have loved you for a long time now. I thought I would never be able to tell you or show you, because of what I was. But today seeing you so sad I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to do something. I'll understand if you can't return my affection, after all, I look like this....] Ryo-oki-chan gestured at herself [ but I am now happy that I have been able to tell you.] Tenchi noticed Ryo-oki-chan had a tear rolling down her cheek, and his heart just melted. 'This is what pure love is supposed to be...uncondisional and straight from the heart. No asking for anything , just giving freely.' he thought in awe. Walking over to Ryo-oki-chan he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. The next thing Tenchi knew he had switched from hugging her to kissing her.

Lina: AAAAGGHHHH!!! I'm gonna puke!
Kiyone: Dear god, Tenchi. What the hell are you doing?
Damaramu: BLLLAAAGGGHHHH!!!!
Kiyone: Didn't I tell you to stop that? Oh, wait, I understand.
Ronin: Perhaps the mighty Damaramu does not possess a stomach of steel after all.

Ryo-oki-chan's eyes went wide then closed in dreamy bliss as Tenchi's kiss suffused her with a warm glow. How often she had dreamed of this. The rest of the ship responded in it's own way. The lighting inside grew dim and the gravity reduced itself. The inner hull became transparent, letting the glory of the stars and planets shine through. She felt Tenchi's manhood start rising through his pants, poking her crotch area, as if to get her attention.

Lina: (as Tenchi's manhood)  Psst! Hey, Ryo-ohki, is it just me, or is this lemon really fucked up?

Tenchi started to blush profusely as he felt his baser instincts rise to the fore. Breaking off the kiss Tenchi started to speak an appology when Ryo-oki-chan placed a finger on his lips effectively silencing him.

Kain: Blushing? RAAAAGHHH!!!!
Lina: EXPLOSION RAY!!!  (Kaboom)
Kiyone: Knock it off, guys. Conserve your energy until we find this Rabbit sicko.

The screen once again lit up, [Thats ok, there is nothing to say sorry for. I fills me with joy that I can get your attention this way. I have always been scared that you would be put off since I don't look quite as human as the others do.]

Ronin: Man, this has gotta be annoying for Tenchi.  He's about to have an orgasm over here, but he's going to have to stop and read every time this broad wants to say something.

Once again Tenchi saw a tear roll down her face. "I don't care what you look like, it's whats in your heart that counts to me." Tenchi said, his voice heavy with emotion," If I cared for looks I would have been with Ryoko or Ayeka long ago.

Kiyone:  Jesus!  That's like he's flat-out telling Ryo-ohki she's ugly!  What a dick.

They say that they love me but all I feel from them is that I am some sort of prize to be won. It's not the same with you, all I feel from you is love, nothing less." [ I love you so much,..] the screen responded, [please let me show you how much....] Before Tenchi could say or do anything, Ryo-oki-chan had drifted downward and felt his pants dropped freeing his engorged penis.

Lina: (clutching stomach) Uh, Ronin, can I go to the bathroom?
Ronin: Ummmm, no.
Lina: Hey, it's your upholstery, man. BLLAAARRGGHH!!!!!
Kiyone: (burps) My sentiment exactly. (Doubles over)

Ryo-oki-chan gazed at the marvel that was Tenchi's manhood for a moment, then she wrapped he lips around the head and gently began to suck.

All: BLLLAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!!!

She let it slide all the way down her throat and then back out, using her tounge to stroke the underside as it did so.

Ronin: Description...too vivid...(buries head in throw pillow)

Tenchi's eyes rolled into the back of his head as wave after wave of pleasure flooded over him. An idea came upon him just as another wave of exstacy washed over him. Since they were floating in near zero gravity, it was an easy matter to momentarily extract himself from Ryo-chan's exquisite lips and flip her upside down so he could get to her now moist womanhood.

Lina: Goddamn it, Rabbit! What kind of sick fuck are you?
Ronin: A sick fuck with access to a computer...the worst kind.

Sliding the tip of his tounge through the crack and and ending with a flick on her erect clitorus Tenchi felt Ryo-oki-chan shudder. He then felt her lips return around his penis.

Damaramu: The mighty Damaramu...cannot continue. Yooaahh! (Makes a break for it)
Lina: No you don't. We're gonna make it through this, whether you want to or not. Fireball! (Foom)
Damaramu: (smoking) I, Damaramu, regret ever being drawn by some whack-job cartoonist.

Ryo-oki-chan was floating on a cloud of sheer pleasure as Tenchi's tounge worked it's magic on her nether regions. She finally could take it no more. She just had to feel him inside of her. She diengaged herself from him most reluctantly. She saw that he was going to say something but stopped as realization hit him what she wanted to do. Guiding herself so her opening was positioned above his awaiting shaft, she slowly impaled herself, shuddering from sheer pleasure as he filled her.

Ronin: Impaled herself? God, I hope that was meant literally. Maybe it'll finally come to an end now.

Tenchi felt himself sliding in and out of Ryo-oki-chan. Her tightness pulling him higher and higher into nirvana. He could feel himself getting closer and closer to orgasam and could tell that she was as well.

Ronin: Nirvana? He's copulating with a damn cat, for god's sake!

Somewhere in the heavens two beings reached bliss at the same time, feeling as if they had become a star shining down on the planet below.     
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Authors notes. Well there ya go, I hope your'e happy now.

Kain:  No, we're not.

Well time to give thanx to those who it is due. First on my list is Happosai for showing that a lemon don't have to be all mindless sex and no plot (BTW....HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT PART OF YOUR TENCHI FIC!!!!)

Ronin:  (adding to list of people to kill)  Happosai...

Next is P-R-P chan who came up with this crazy combo in the first place. Finally I give thanx to all of you on the mailing list who actully take time to read this and comment on it, good bad or indifferant.

Ronin:  The mailing list....

Hopefully I will get an MST or R&R out of this (hint hint to the respective creative geniuses)

Yamabushi:  Oh, why thank you.
Ronin:  Hey, who the hell are you?

Well till next time, Seasons best to everyone. Rabbit Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Petty power corrupts all out of proportion to actual power

Lina: What in the hell is this? Rabbit Power corrupts?
Kiyone: Calm down, Lina. Morons tend to babble like that. At least it's over.
Kain: That was the vilest experience of my long existence.
Damaramu: YEEESSS!!! It is over at last! I, the great Damaramu, am getting the hell out of here! ROSHIIIII!!!!
Roshi: BRAAAK!!!
Damaramu: YOSSSSHHHH!!! YUAAAAAHHHH!!!!! (Flies off)
Kiyone: God, I feel so violated. That was almost as bad as "At the Carrot Patch"
Ronin: Please don't mention that. We've seen enough wretched writing for one day.
Lina: Peace out, everyone. Ray wing!!! (Flies off)
Kain: I shall leave as well. Should you EVER call me back for something like this, Ronin, you shall die a miserable death, having felt a thousand subtle shades of pain! (Dissipates)
Ronin: Ok, Kain. You have a nice day too!
Kiyone: Well, Ronin, I should be going. Oh, and about what Kain said...
Ronin: I know, "he's only letting off steam, no need to worry..."
Kiyone: Actually, I agree with Kain. Do this again, and I'll shoot off your bokken. (Calls Yagami, flies off)
Ronin: (Switches off computer, turns to camera) Well, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed this MST of the pukefest called "Finding Love in the Furryiest of Places". Sayonara!

THE END