This is something I wrote for my drama class a while ago and it's the clean-cut version. We also had to act it out too, it sucked. Anyway, have fun!
5 MYSTERIOUS BOYS AND THE PIZZA GUY
Narrator: This story takes place in a house with 5 teenage boys all about 16 and 17 years of age. It is a boring Friday night and the boys are playing Monopoly. Ah yes, we should introduce the characters in this play. First there is the perfect Japanese soldier Heero who has been in jail 6 times in the last hour. He really stinks. Then there is the happy go-lucky American Duo with is 3-foot long hair all braided neatly. Thatfs actually the only thing he keeps neat. He is chewing on the end of his braid thinking if he should buy Park Place. Next we have a tall European with an uni-bang Trowa! He is sitting there throwing hotels at Quatre who had dozed off waiting for Duo to make his move. Whofs Quatre? Oh yes, Quatre is the blonde blue-eyed Arabian who is the heir to the Winner family which is one of the biggest powers in the Arab nation. Quatre also has 29 sisters and an ugly cat. Wufei the Chinese guy is sitting impatiently in the corner waiting to go. He has a strong sense of justice and a hairline of patients. Wufei: Hurry up and make your move hippie! Duo: (waving him off) Ifm trying to decide of I should buy Park Place. Heero: Buy it and let us go on with our lives. Trowa: Not like you have anywhere to go when youfre stuck in jail. Duo: Hehe, hefs right ya know Heero. (Heero gave Duo a deadly glare) Quatre: (yawning and rubbing his eyes) has Duo made his move yet? (He suddenly coughs and out comes a hotel) Quatre: Why are there hotels in my hair guys? Grumble, grumble Quatre: Excuse me guys, but arenft you hungry? Duo: Now that I think about it, yeah, I am. Someone make me some food! Wufei: Duo! For godfs sake, youfre a 16-year old boy! Canft you make a sandwich by yourself? Trowa: Donft you remember when he tried to pour some milk onto his cereal and caught the kitchen on fire? And the time he baked chocolate cake he mixed ketchup in it? I mean no matter how much you like ketchup would you put it in chocolate cake? Wufei: Point taken. Heero: Go look in the refrigerator for some leftovers? Duo: Okay! (He goes and looks in the refrigerator) Okayctherefs a box of baking soda andca ketchup packet!! Yes!! Letfs split this 5 ways! Heero: You idiot, that wonft feed all of us! Quatre: Why donft we order a pizza? Duo: Great idea! Trowa: Correction, pizzas. Duo can eat two by himself. He claims to be a egrowing boyf. Duo: I am too! (Heero walks over to the phone and pushes the number on the speed dial. Duo set them.) Heero: What kind of pizza? Duo: Meat! Cheese! Pineapples! Pizza Guy: Whatcha order? Heero: 5 pepperonis. Duo: (in a whining tone) No!! I want different kinds!! Heero!! (Heero returns to the group) Heero: We have to gather up $25 by the time the guy gets here. Duo: What?! I only have $0.30! What are we gonna do?! (It ends up no one else had any money. Actually Wufei had some, but that was his own private collection he hides away from Duo. He kept his mouth shut.) Ding-dong! Quatre: Oh no! What are we gong to do? Duo: Improvise! (Heero got a bat and stood next to the doorframe ready to knock out the deliveryman and Duo opened the door.) Duo: Oh hello Mr. Pizza guy! Come in! Pizza Guy: 5 pepperoni pizzas? Duo: Yes! Thank you! Pizza guy: Sure, my moncTHWACK!! (The pizza guy is knocked out by a blow in the head by Heero) Heero: Mission accomplished. Quatre: NO!! Donft do that! Duo: Okay; now somebody help me carry him to a chair and tie him up! (Trowa comes over and takes the body and sets it on a chair and ties the body to the chair.) Quatre: Trowa! Donft do that to him! We shouldnft be fighting at all!! Trowa: Quatre, we must do this or we will never get our food. Quatre: Butc! (Trowa signals for him that it is useless to argue.) Heero: Should we wake him up or keep him unconscious? Duo: (smiling evilly) Wake him up! (Duo went and got a icy cold cup of water and poured it on the pizza guyfs lap) Pizza Guy: OH MY BEJEEZES!! THATfS FREEZING!! (He nearly jumped out of the chair.) Duo: Hehehecyou awake now? Pizza Guy: (painfully) No. What did you do to me? Gosh my head hurts. Heero: I hit you with this. (Holding up a bat.) Pizza Guy: OW!! (Delayed reaction.) Duo: And now for the pizza!! Trowa:c(Silently heading for the pizza.) Quatre: (By the pizza guy.) Ifm so sorry we did this, but you have to understand that we are starving and we donft have any money. Pizza Guy: Hey! You canft eat that unless you pay me!! Wufei: You are forcing me to do this. (Wufei takes the chair with the Pizza Guy on it and throws it in Duofs nasty closet with donuts filled with green stuff instead of the purple stuff and green nasty smell coming from his dirty boxers. Right then and there did the Pizza Guy faint.) (About an hour later, the boys are done eating their pizza and have gone back to playing Monopoly.) Quatre: Duo you owe me $1000 for staying in my hotel! Duo: Dang it!! Trowa: My turn now. Pizza guy: I gotta get out of here and soon! Wufei: You crazy little winch!! Get back here!! Duo: I may look like a girl but Ifm sure not! Heero: When the freakfn hell am I gonna get out of jail!!!!!!!!!!!! Pizza Guy: Yes!! Sweet baby!! I got loose!! Ifm gettfn out of this place!! (Pizza guy slowly sneaks down the stairs and tries to get past the living room without the boys spotting him.) Pizza Guy: (Looking toward the living room.) Got to get out of here. Trowa: Going somewhere? Pizza Guy: (Whirling around) What thec? Trowa: (At door) Where are you headed? Heero: Escaping? (Behind Pizza Guy) Duo: (In living room) Whofs escaping? Oh yeahc the Pizza Guy. Wherefs he going now? Quatre: (Wailing) But ifcif he goes to the police wefll be arrested andcand!! Wufei: Then wefll have to stop him now wonft we? Pizza Guy: (Panicing) Crap!! Ifm gettfn outta here!!!! (Pushes Trowa out of the way and goes out the door screaming.) Wufei: You not going anywhere. (Takes out his katana from a hammered space and throws it at the Pizza Guy.) Pizza Guy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LEG!!!!!!!! ITfS BLEEDING!!!! AND THEREfS A SWORD STICKING THROUGH IT!!!!! Wufei: Damn, I missed. Duo: Get him!!!!! (Everyone but Heero sprints toward the Pizza Guy.) Heero: Your wasting time. (Pulls out a gun from an unknown place, aims, and fires a shot and hits Relena killing her.) Heero: Better, now. (Shoots the Pizza Guy in the head decapitating him. Everyone watches the head roll to the ground and Quatre screams.) Duo: That was my job! Trowa: This is something that we should put in duofs closet and forget about it. Heero: cWhatever. Duo: Hey!! I happen to go in my closet once every month you know! Wufei: Psychotic people!! Duo: Letfs party on!!!!!!!!!!!! Quatre: Butcbutc(pointing at the body. Everyone ignores him.) Narrator: This is a tragic story about the Pizza guy and his encounter with 5 weird teenagers. The moral of is kids, that donft get a job as the Pizza Guy, always have money before ordering pizza, and most importantly, suspect the quiet ones. Heero: Shut up and die! There is a shot, a scream, and a thump in the distance. Oh yes, since we donft own these characters and we canft get actors that look exactly like the characters, they are played by completely different people.
