Mystery Anime Theater 2001 (MAT2K1) Season 2 Episode 002 - The Era of Apocalypse By Ashura the Hedgehog Guest MSTer Drag Girl Kacee ======================================================================= Princess Ayeka, Yugi and Kain are copyrighted by Pioneer and AIC Sonic the Hedgehog, Dr. Robotnik, and Metal Sonic are copyrighted by Sonic Team and SEGA Dr. Gero is copyrighted by Toei Animation and Akira Toriyama Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, and others are copyrighted by Best Brains Inc. Ashura, Crystallis, and Seiyuka are MINE! Sabian, Angel, and Sara are MercStar's. Drag Girl Kacee is her own bad self. "The Era of Apocalypse" is owned by Victor Von Doom, and he can keep it. Just think of this as an odd form of criticism. ======================================================================= "ARRRGH! Where is that pizza?!" Robotnik yelled. For hours, the self-proclamed world's greatest genius had been waiting for the pizza he had ordered from a "Torgo's Pizza". "Ten more minutes and I'll..." "Oh, shut it, fatty!" Pearl said, marching in. "Y'know, you don't need the food!" "Oh, shut it!" Robotnik said. Just then, there was some knocking on the vault door. "I got...." He was cut off as the door was blown off. "What the....?!" Through the doorway walked, well, more like hovered, a black creature with white hands and face. "Is this 'Deep Egg 13'?" the creature said. "Who the hell are you?!" Pearl said. "BRAIN GUY!" At that, the chalk-faced, omni-potent being walked up to the two. "You called?" the Observer said. "Yeah! Get rid of our uninvited guest!" Pearl said. But, before he could, Kain slapped them away and into a wall. Metal Sonic, Dr. Gero and Yugi, however, were already hiding from him. Some help it did. "You three! Come here!" the creature said, easily finding them. [Yuh....yes?] Metal asked. "Tell me, can you teleport anyone to your specific satellite AND nullify ANY power he or she have?" the creature asked. "Whu...why, yes, of course!" Gero said. "A-a-a-and who would you like to bring up?" "Heh....does the name 'Drag Girl Kacee' come to mind?" he said "Yeah, Sasami mentioned her name." Yugi said. "Wait a second! You're.....KAIN!" "Bright girl." Kain said. "Do it!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Man, I can't believe how much STUFF is in here!" Sonic said as he continued to dig through the "Box of Miscellanious Stuff" he found way back when. Along with the stuff he found earlier. Now, there was an entire room devoted to this box and it was still filling. At that moment, Mike Nelson decided to drop in. "Hey, Sonic. What's....woah! What's with the weapons and gear?" he said, finding and messing with what appeared to be the Power Pole of one Son Goku. "Eh, I found this box a few weeks back. I think it's connected to Hammerspace!" Sonic said. "I can see that!" Mike said. "POWER POLE EXTEND!" The staff in Mike's hands extended from both sides, slamming into the human-size version of the original Gundam on one side and hitting the wall on the other, causing poor Sara to get clotheslined by it. "Damn you, Nelson!" Sara shouted as she got up. "Oops. Sorry, Sara!" Mike shouted back. He turned back to Sonic. "I hope the people who own them don't need them right now." "Eh, don't worry. There's THOUSANDS of copies in here!" Sonic said. At that moment, the room began flashing red. "Crap, the Jackson Six plus a Pokemon are calling!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "::yawn!:: Geez, I can't even get an ounce of sleep!" Ashura said, scratching his back after stretching. "I know how you feel, Ashy." Crystallis said. Ashura turned to reply to what she said. "Thanks, Cryst! I know you....." he said, before seeing her. "YAHHHH!" What he saw scared him. Crystallis, Ayeka, and Angel all had face cream on, their hair in curlers, and wearing robes. Ashura responded the same way anyone else saced outta their wits would do: he jumped on top of Merc's head. Merc, seeing Angel, threw Ashura off him and hid behind Mike. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT?!" Merc yelled at the girls. The three began laughing their heads off. "I told you it would work!" Angel said. "You were right, Angel. I wish Lord-Tenchi was here so I could have done it to him." Ayeka said. "C'mon, let's get rid of this stuff." Crystallis said. With that, the three left to get rid of their hideous looks. "Freaky stuff." Crow said, as he and Tom walked in. Crow's eyes had literally shrank. "Let's see what the MADS want." Mike said, shuddering as he pushed the red button. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Why, hello there, mortals!" Kain said, the normal group of MADS shuddering in the background. "KAIN?!" Sonic shouted in surprise. "Uh....wrong MSTing ship, dude!" "Nonono! This is the right ship. The Satellite of Love 2, right?" Kain said. "Yeah, you Zeiram wannabe!" Tom said. "But, there's no Drag Girl Kacee here!" Ashura said. "Thank God." Ayeka muttered, as she, Angel, and Crystallis walked back in. Seiyuka gave her the evil eye. "Now there is!" Kain said. "Chalkface! Bring her up there!" "Y-y-y-yes, Kain!" Observer said. With the trademark headbobbing and SFX, the previously mentioned girl appeared on the Satellite. On top of poor Ashura. She was a slender, teenage girl with red/brown/ blonde hair and blue-gray eyes. "Nani? Where am I?" she asked. "Welcome to....ungh...the Satellite of Love. Now GET OF OF ME!" Ashura shouted. Kacee looked down and saw she was sitting on poor Ashura. "AHH! GOMEN! Gomen, Ashura!" Kacee said, leaping up and helping the poor hedgehog up. "No.....problem....Kace." Ashura said, hoping his back wasn't broken. "Aw, man, Ashy! You never told us she was a babe!" Tom said. "But, Tom, Ashura told all of us she was a girl." Crystallis said. "Nonono! A BABE! WOWWY WOW WOW!" Crow said. Kacee responded by smashing the bots with a 100-ton hammer. "Ecchis!" Kacee muttered. "Hey, Kacee! Welcome to our humble abode!" Seiyuka said, in her chipper mood. "SHUT UP!" Kain shouted. Everyone looked at the creature in silence. "Now, it seems here your normal torturers have a fanfic lined up for you. It's called...."Era of Apocalypse"? Whatever. Now, uh.... DIE! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Oh, God. Me stuck with HER!" Ayeka said. Kacee grinned at that, knowing she could get her revenge. "Kacee. Ayeka. No FIGHTING!" Ashura said. At that point, the alarms went off. "Oh, WE GOT FANFIC SIIIIIIIIIIIGN!" Mike shouted. With that, the group ran around like headless chickens again and raced to the theater. (Dogbone,6,5,4,3,2,vault door) (Theater. Seating order[R to L]: Crow, Mike, Tom, KC, Ashura, Crystallis, Sonic, Ayeka, Merc, Sara, Angel) KC: Wow! Cool seats! Tom: Yeah, because MERC gave YUGI my UNDERWARE COLLECTION! Sonic: ::snickering:: I still can't believe he has that. Ashura: Shush, you guys! It's starting! >The Era of Apocalypse >X-Men and Sailor Moon Crossover Merc: WHAT?! We already DID a Sailor Moon crossover?! ::Sonic begins crying again:: KC: Nani? Ashura: Last fic we had portrayed him as an idiot and involved the Sailor Scouts. KC: ::shudders:: Dubbies.... >Chapter 1 KC: Death by Mauling. >The Reunion Angel: When did they last meet? >Tokyo’s International Airport, 20 :30 hr. an airtrafic controller >receives an emergency call from a very unusual plane. Sonic: It was a 10-winged airplane with clown-faced wingwalkers, juggling chainsaws while whistling "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". KC: No, it was Air Force One with Pinky and the Brain on it. >-Tokyo’s International Airport, please identify yourself KC: ::As people in plane:: Qshhhhh Welcome to McDonalds qsshhhhh I'll take your order when you're ready qshhhh. >-Good evening Tokyo, this is the Blackbird, Cyclops KC: ::Dryly:: Oh goody. Wussboy. Sonic: I thought Tenchi was the wussb-::Ayeka shockes him:: OOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Ayeka: ::teeth gritted:: Say it again. I dare you! Sonic and KC: TENCHI IS A WUSSBOY!!!! >leader of the >X-Men speaking, KC: He ain't no leader! Besides, which X-Men we talkin' 'bout? Uncanny? New? X-Treme? Ultimate? Ayeka: Hell if I know. >we request permission to land due to technical >problems. ::All make Emergency Broadcast Signal noise:: >-Permission granted, you may land on land strip 5. Ashura: ::as flight attendant:: Strip 4 is reserved for Batman and Strip 6 is reserved for the Avengers. KC: And strips one through three is reserved for the Kingpin. >Minutes later the Blackbird landed and it’s occupants descended from >it. >-OK Beast, what do you think ? KC: ::As Beast:: I think you're a dork. Oh, you were talking about the plane, weren't you? >-It will take about three days to fix it, Cyclops. Sara: ::as Cyclops:: Dammit, Wolverine! You and your stupid claws! >-Then we must find a place to stay. >After this the X-Men ( Professor X, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Storm, >Wolverine, Jubilee, Rogue Sonic: Oh, great. What did they pay the bat THIS time? KC: Nani? ::Ashura sighs:: Ashura: Sonic, this one is pronounced ROW-ge, you're thinking of ROO-je! and Gambit) KC: *Stands up, points at screen, takes a deep breath, and launches in to her speech* PROFESSOR X, CYCLOPS, JEAN, BEAST, AND WOLVERINE ARE IN NEW X-MEN! WOLVERINE IS ALSO IN UNCANNY! ROGUE, STORM, AND GAMBIT ARE IN X-TREME! AND JUBILEE ISN'T ON ANY TEAM ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY STOPPED MAKING GEN X! *Sits back down, looking pleased with herself* Merc: O_O Lemme guess. You're an X-Man fan, aren't you? >lefted the airport KC: NANI?! "Lefted"? They just PICKED UP the airport? Seiyuka: Then you're gonna enjoy this. I know Vegeta did. >and headed towards a hotel. KC: Unfortunately, Godzilla attacked Tokyo and everyone died. The end. Ayeka: Sad, really. >The next morning Logan (this is Wolverine’s name and will be used >during the story), Angel: ::sarcastically:: NO! I thought Wolverine was his real name! KC: BULLSHIT! That's just the name Wolverine uses! They have yet to reveal his past! Though his origin story is due out this September! Ashura: O_O ::blinks:: >and Jubilee decided to go shopping, at the same time Haruka and >Michiru were at the same mall, KC: *As church lady* Well isn't that convienient? >Haruka noticed their presence and stood >there watching the man until Michiru pulled her arm. Ayeka: ::as Haruka:: He looks like my grandfather! >-Are you OK ? KC: ::as Haruka:: I WASN'T LOOKING! Uh, I mean, yeah, I'm fine! >-uh...yeah, let’s go. Crow: Yeah, whatever. KC: *As Michiru* Okay. *As Haruka* Let's go. *As Michiru* That's fine. *As Haruka* We're going. Merc: ::to Angel:: I think she needs to be committed. KC: I HEARD THAT! >They continued their way, on the other side of the mall Serena, Ami, >Lita, Rei and Mina along with their guardian cats Luna and Artemis >entered the mall, KC: Then were thrown out for having pets in the mall. >simultaneously Rogue and Gambit were looking for >Jubilee and Logan when the girls spotted them. Ashura: LET THE RUN-ON SENTENCES BEGIN! >-Mina look at that hunk, isn’t he cute ? Ayeka: Questions: Who's talking and who are they talking about? >-Yeah...but he has a girlfriend already... >-huh ? How can you be so sure ? Maybe she is his sister... Tom: WHO?! WHO HAS A SISTER?! >-SERENA ! ! Ashura: No, she has a brother. >-What is it Rei ? >-Aren’t you forgetting something ? >-What ? KC: ::as Rei(?):: Your brain. >-Darien. >-he he... KC: She she. Seiyuka: We we. Tom: Us us. >-But I’m going to find out ! ! KC: *Confused* Err... Find out WHAT exactly? >With this Mina followed them and then when Gambit was looking for a >deck of cards, Merc: Why? To cheat during a game of poker? >she tried to bump into him but she miscalculated and >bumped into Rogue who couldn’t avoid the physical contact with the >girl absorbing her powers. All: What?/Nani? >-I’m so...ahhhhhh ! ! ! Sonic: The power absorbsion that refreshes. >Then she falled to the ground unconscious, hearing her scream the >other girls along with the cats rushed to her aid,but when they >arrived neither Mina or the men she was following were there, they >asked a witness and he told them that he along with others took the >blond girl into a car and lefted the place. Mike: What's with this guy and his fansination with run-ons? KC: Hmm, more 'lefting' occured. *Blinks* Hey! They stole the mall! SHOPLIFTERS! >-We have to find her ! ! >Screamed Serena. Ayeka: In their ears. KC: Then hit them over their heads with her disjointed exclamation marks. >-Girls it’s time to transform. >Ordered Luna. Sara: I can't believe they're being pushed around by a cat! >-! !MOON PRISM POWER ! ! >-! !MERCURY POWER ! ! >-! !MARS POWER ! ! >-! !JUPITER POWER ! ! Crystallis: CRYSTY POWER! Seiyuka: SEIYUKA POWER! Angel: ANGEL POWER! Ayeka: AYEKA POWER! KC: KACEE POWER! Sara: SARA POWER! Guys: YOU'RE ALL NUTS! KC: You're just jealous. Hey! Who wants to be Tuxedo Kamen? ::the guys point to Mike:: Guys but Mike: HE WILL! >Once they were transformed Sailor Moon used her moon scepter to find >where Mina was, KC: A Moon Scepter with a Spider Sense! >they started to follow here until they arrived to a >hotel in Central Tokyo, inside Mina was receiving assistance from the >X-Men. Sonic: ::as random X-Man:: Here, lemme get that! Ashura: ::ditto:: No, no! Allow me! Merc: ::ditto:: Screw you all! I'm getting it! >-What happened ? >-Looks like the kid tried to get closer to Gambit but she found me >instead Professor, there was nothing I could do, but there is more >Professor, I think she is a mutant, look. Crow: ::as Rouge:: She has THREE BREASTS! Mike: CROW! KC: Oh, God. Not another Jim. Crow: That's the second time someone's called me Jim. WHO'S JIM?! >Pointing her finger at the window she fired a laser blast which was >seen by Sailor Moon and the other Sailor Scouts.. Sara: ::as random Scout:: Man, whoever did that has bad aim! KC: Waitaminute! Venus doesn't have laser blasts, numbnut! >-There she is ! ! Ayeka: And they deduct that from ONE laser blast? >They entered the hotel and runned up the stairs to get to the room >where Mina was. Crystallis: ::as Sailor Moon outta breath:: Gotta....cut down....on.... junk food. >- In there the X-Men were checking her when the door opened. >-! !STOP RIGHT THERE NEGA-TRASH ! ! ! !I’M SAILOR MOON, CHAMPION OF >JUSTICE, I FIGHT WRONG AND TRIUMPH OVER EVIL, AND THAT MEANS YOU ! ! Merc: Is EVERYONE they meet "Nega-trash"? KC: Not the speech! NOT THE SPE- Hey wait a minute, he wrote the speech wrong. IDIOT! >The X-Men where supprised. >-Wait a minute please I’m Profe...arrggghhh ! ! KC: He's Profearrggghhh? Seiyuka: Wonder what his mutant power is? >A powerful lightning blast coming from Sailor Jupiter made him fall KC: Jupiter Thunder CRASH! Hey, which Sailor Scouts are we on? Regular, Super, Eternal... Crystallis: Tell you the truth, I have no idea. >from the chair, seeing this the X-Men prepared to battle. >-OK NOBODY ENTERS OUR ROOM AND ATTACKS THE PROFESSOR!!! TAKE THIS ! ! Sonic: Once again, Doomy proves that he's the master of bad kung-fu dub writing. KC: *Singing* Everybody was kung-fu fighting! Those kicks were fast as lightening! >Jubilee used her powers against the Sailor Scout she was closer to >happening to be Sailor Mercury, Ami falled to her knees blinded by the >fireworks, meanwhile the rest of the scouts moved around the room >Sailor Mars attacked Wolverine, who ducked but couldn’t avoid a burn >in his arm, Cyclops knew that Wolverine was a deadly enemy specially >when you hurt him, he wanted to stop him but he had Sailor Moon >attacking him, Wolverine showed his adamantium claws and flew over >Sailor Mars making her and himself pass across the window, and then >falling to the ground two stories below, inside Cyclops used his >eyebeams in low charge and fired against Sailor Moon,who falled to >the ground but stood up again and prepared to use his scepter against >him, meanwhile Sailor Jupiter fired a blast against Storm who showed >her what a lighting bolt is all about when she called upon the powers >of nature that she commanded.- Outside of the building Wolverine was >about to finish Sailor Mars who was unconscious but when he was about >to stick his claws on the girl’s chest a rose hitted his eyes, he >stood up to see a man in a Tuxedo Suit, but when the strange >individual was about to attack him Gambit throw several cards to him >but he was able to move before they exploded, he also saw an eight >year old girl dressed like the girls they were fighting, this girl >runned towards him and tried to attack him but Rogue took her and >after taking off one of his gloves he absorbed enough energy to knock >her out, simultaneously two other Sailor Scouts showed up, they were >Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune but Jean Grey captured them in a >telekinetic cage, suddenly all of them stopped the battle when they >heard a voice in their minds. ::all look in stunned silence:: Mike: Oh....my....God..... KC: That is the longest run-on sentence in history. ::Ashura looks over to see Crystallis holding her chest.:: Ashura: ::concerned:: Hey, Crysty. You okay? Crystallis: ::weakly:: Yeah....hold on.....::grabs Ashura's hand, then sighs:: Now I am. ::Looks at Ashura and smiles:: KC: Wait! I think I found a period! HAHAHAHAHA! >-ENOUGH ! ! ! STOP THIS SENSELESS WAR AT ONCE ! ! >-Sailor Moon what shall we do ? Sara: ::as Sailor Moon:: Stop this senseless war at once! Duh! KC: War? That isn't a war. That's a scuffle. When the X-Men fought Magneto, that was a war. When they fought Apocolypse, that was a war. When the Sailor Senshi fought Beryl, that was a war. THIS IS NOT A WAR! Merc: Scuffle nothing! It looked like a schoolyard fight during recess! >Asked Sailor Jupiter >-I...I don’t know this is weird.. Seiyuka: This whole fic is weird! KC: Oh no! SHATNER! >Suddenly the bald man got closer to her and laid a finger on her >forehead, Serena felt a strange energy going through her body which >made her fall to her knees, KC: Hey! He's electrocuting her! >suddenly she started to see images showing >her who this individuals were, the way they became the X-Men and the >enemies they fought ending with the strange storm that forced their >land on Tokyo, KC: Then he charged her a million dollars for all the comics that she would have had to read to garner that knowledge. >at the same time Professor Xavier saw the story behind >the Sailor Scouts, the way the Moon Kingdom was destroyed and their >reborn, he also saw their fight against Queen Beryl and the Negaverse, >then against Black Moon and the destruction of Sailor Saturn, he even >saw why Mina crashed against Rogue that morning. Merc: Damn, 1000+ years of information passed between the two! Tom: That, and another run-on sentence. KC: Then SHE charged HIM about a billion dollars for all the TV shows, movies, and Manga he would have had to purchased. >-So you are Sailor Moon. Ayeka: No duh! She told you that when she busted in! >- Tell me why you and your friends attacked us. Angel: You should know, baldy! YOU JUST READ HER MIND! >-We thought that you were enemies because you kidnapped Mina. >-I see. Let me explain, we had to take her here because we don’t like KC: You. >to show our powers in public, people does not understand the nature of >our power and fear us, unfortunately your supprise attack forced us to >use our powers to defend ourselves, I hope your friends are OK. Seiyuka: ::as Sailor Moon:: Oh, sure. You just handed them their rears, but they'll be okay >-Thanks... >She started to look around for them noticing that Rei wasn’t around, >suddenly the door opened and Wolverine entered the room carrying >Sailor Mars in his arms, Sonic: ::as author:: various lacerations all over her body.... >simultaneously Rogue entered through the >window with Sailor Chibi Moon on her arms as well. Crow: ::as author, darkly:: flatter than a pancake.... KC: WOO HOO! DIE CHIBI USA, DIE! Ashura: Next on their hitlist: SAKUYA! >- In other area of the room Jubilee was taking care of Sailor Mercury. Crystallis: Permenantly? >-Here.- Put this on your eyes it will take the pain away and will >allow you to open them. >-What did you do to me ? KC: ::as Jubilee:: Kicked your sorry ass. Why? >-Just a first degree burn in order to blind you, KC: I think Ami would have figured that out by now. She IS a genius, AND studying to become a doctor. Mike: You know, I was wondering if the "genius" deal was real or not. Ayeka: Just further proof that Miss Washu is a REAL genius! >and...uh...I think >you and your friends should use other kind of uniforms you know. >-Why ? >-Well, uh let’s put it this way girl, they are too provocative. >Ami blushed to a deep red when she heard such thing. Tom: Oh, well I....huh? >In other side of the room Rei awaked and started to look around, when >she noticed the presence of the X-Men she got ready to start the >battle but Sailor Moon stopped her. Mike: ::as Sailor Mars:: Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em! KC: *As Sailor Moon, whiny* But Mars, I'M the leader! I'm supposed to start the attack! MOMMY! Mars isn't playing fair! >-The war is over Sailor Mars, KC: Unfortunately, they still have a couple more seasons to go, like the Dark Moon circus and Galaxia. >they are friends not enemies, at the >same time Sailor Uranus and Sailor Saturn entered the room, when >Haruka saw the burn in Logan’s uniform she rushed to help him but was >supprised when she saw that the burn was completely healed, Logan was >also supprised by the strange display of care. KC: She said that?! WOW! >-Don’t worry, I can heal myself... Sonic: I would love to have a healing factor. >-Oh...anyway let me put this on. >She took a piece of fabric from her bow and placed it around Logan’s >arm, Rogue noticed this. KC: Hey! Where's Michiru? Sara: Yeah! Where is the lesbo? >-I don’t know about you but I think that this girl is dying for Logan. Crow: So, THAT'S what those slash marks on her are about. >-I think you are right. >The Sailor Scouts, specially Neptune, were also supprised. Tom: Oh, I think Neptune's gonna have a LONG talk about this when it's over.... KC: There she is! *Fuming* Haruka and Michiru love each other! Haruka wouldn't leave Michiru, ESPECIALLY for Wolverine! DUMBASS AUTHOR! >-Correct me if I’m wrong but it’s Uranus the one that’s helping >Wolverine ? >-Yep. Indeed he is Jupiter, something tells me that they are in... Sara: Deep shit. >She couldn’t finish a huge thunder was heard ::The "thunder" rings across the theater:: Seiyuka: ::blushing:: Sorry, I had some burritos before the MSTing.... Ashura: Oh, GOD! OPEN A WINDOW SOMEBODY! ::Everyone moves away from Seiyuka, except the bots:: Crow: It's a good thing we bots have no noses! >and a voice was heard. KC: It was Leonard Nimoy. Sonic: ::as William Shatner:: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK! >-BOW TO ME ! ! ! I AM APOCALYPSE AND I WILL RULE THE WORLD ! ! ! ! KC: *Facefault* *THUMP* HE'S DEAD! DEAAAAAD!!!! >Next chapter : A Sacrifice of love All: ::blandly:: Yay. Merc: C'mon. Let's get outta here. ::All leave the theater:: (Reverse door sequence)